Patricia -thanks for your support. I know that with what I've been through, 'down days' are to be expected, but they still make me feel like crap, and not much gets accomplished. I just have to get through them. I'm not angry with anyone
, especially not here!
How is your 2ww? Going nuts yet? Just 9 days left!
Globetrotter - I've never worried about my e2 numbers or follicle number/size -- things have always worked out, so I trust my doctors. Things are very complicated and inter-connected. Try to relax and trust your doctor. You are doing such a great job with the injections!
Christy - why do you think your IVF won't work? (not that I blame you, I never think anything will work out!) How many eggs/embryos did you have with your first IVF? Why do you think you won't have enough this time around? Did you figure out the BCP issue?
Nicole - totally normal to do more IVF before turning to surrogacy/adoption/foster care -- there was a long time I wasn't open to those ideas either - which is fine. It's just frustrating that we are at that point (we're okay with not having a biological child, or with me never being pregnant again) but it's not helping us get a baby! -- When are y'all starting again? ( Ilove Epsom Salt baths -- yummm... I hope you enjoyed!)
Sonya - Thanks. Your words mean so much to me. I question all the time if this will be 'worth it' when we have a child in our arms. Having a rainbow baby won't take away the pain of everything we've been through. I hate that I'll live the rest of my life missing my babies and having to carry around this baggage. I appreciate your prayers and your thoughts.
Julia - I always try so hard to ignore my 2ww and just wait, but it never happens! I spend the whole time alternately convinced that it worked, and that it didn't work! From my experience, the 2ww is too early for any symptoms of anything -- anything you feel is just from the progesterone. I suffer from terrible terrible nausea and vomiting while pregnant (it's called hyperemesis gravidarum -- I puke non-stop) and that doesn't start for me until week 5.5! Try to hold on these last 3 days!
HopeThisWorksM - Congrats on starting injectibles! I really hope this is your time. It's hard to stay positive and not think "this is our last chance". I'm sorry.
Gina - waiting for IVF is part of the process. No one ever gets to start right when they want to! I hope your waiver goes through and you get to start soon!
Maria - congrats on 2 girls. More importantly -- congrats on 2 healthy babies! Don't worry about needing a follow up scan -- at 15/16 weeks, no one could ever see my babies' hearts well enough and I needed a follow up scan!
AFM - not much. Feeling better than yesterday.
I met with my trainer this morning. I didn't lose any weight this week
but hopefully next week.
Countdown is getting closer. Less than a week until I stop my BCP. Gah!
Yesterday I was super weepy and couldn't stop crying - and being weepy always happens to me when pregnant -- so I was kinda tempted to take a HPT just to check. How crazy am I? I had AF 3 weeks ago - and I've been on BCP since. Not to mention the fact that I don't ovulate and D has no sperm.
Maybe I'll take a cheapie test just to put my mind to rest.... but it'll probably just make me sad...
