The Over 40 Crowd

debbieed · Post by **debbieed** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 12:17 pm

Hello All,
Everyone seems pretty upbeat at the moment on this thread. I am doing ok - fed up with sniffing now and want to get onto the next phase. I'm also incredibly tired - but was like that on my other two tries too. I guess being over 40 doesn't help that!

We haven't considered donor eggs or anything like that as we seem to be able to get to putting above average embies put back in then it just doesn't work. Both attempts af has shown up on day 12 after ET so this time I shall be really panicing on that day. This is definately going to be our last attempt as neither of us feel that we can keep going through this. If we get a -ive result this time we're going to start the adpotion process - although there are no guarantees with that either.

Best of luck to everyone.

Love
Debbie

Katie12563 · Post by **Katie12563** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 1:09 pm

Caroline
Thank you for responding. Your good vibes mean more than you know. Its nice to chat with someone else my age. I really wish you the best in your next cycle. Healthy Happy Baby Fairy Dust to you!

PS******* Last night I had my first cheerful dream in weeks. Last night I prayed to get all this "information" off my mind for a few hours and it worked! I was a mother, married with two healthy adopted babies under 2 and a couple older toddlers (adopted maybe). My husband and I were discussing the weight gain the kids had since they came to us and how we had to monitior their food intake...all were pleasantly plump and gaining more(smile). It was a happy family scene.

I hope this is a sign that no matter what I will become a mother. After loosing my baby I am now looking at other options if my next 2 IUI's don't work. My doctor doesn't think IVF is neccessary since I got pregnant right away with IUI...he does however want to use it if we go to donor eggs.

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:23 pm

ladies

I just wanted this to be the place where I post for the 1000th time

this thread has been my sanity, and will continue to be. Its the place that tells me, thanks to all of you (us) never give up.

Someone said once to me in business, those who don't know where they are going usually get there. The love and strength and determination I have found here is greater than any love and strength I have ever known. The babies that are meant for us are waiting out there, they are souls around us even now.

With so much love you can't imagine it

Jules (bigJ)

Katie12563 · Post by **Katie12563** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:03 pm

Happy 1000th Jules...bigJ

cmg · Post by **cmg** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:19 am

Congrats on your 1000 Big J.

Just wanted to update you and let you know that sadly I'm not going to be the latest over 40 success. After bleeding for 2 days, just got confirmation of a negative.

And DH has just told me that the boiler has broken down and there's no hot water. Bleurgh!

Am feeling ok right now but I'm sure it's going to kick in soon.

thanks for the support and wishing you better luck than me

Caroline

debbieed · Post by **debbieed** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:14 am

Hello All

Caroline - soooo sorry to read your post. I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but I am really sorry.

It is always hard when we get -ive results but we find the strength to move forward - in whichever way is right for us.

Jules - congrats on reaching your 1000th posting. I too have found this board to be so helpful.

Right now I'm still plodding through sniffing. I'm thoroughly bored with it now. Really want to get onto the next stage - despite the needles! I had my drugs and equipment delivered yesterday so it does feel like it's all getting closer now. Scan on Monday to (hopefully) give me the go-ahead to begin injections on Tuesday. I haven't really had any side effects - feel a bit grumpy at times and have been hot and sweaty but given the temperature here that's not surprising.

Hang on in there folks.

Love
Debbie

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:44 pm

hey girl, go Debbie go...

needles and all, part of the trick..sending so much PMA it'll blow your socks off

Caroline - we gotta get it on, statistics is the game I am told, lets help eachother be brave enough for the next round...hurts like hell, I know, but only one ay forward girl and you are not alone..

Katie - way to go, and thanks, this board has saved my life...so good to have you around, we'll get there won't we??

I just want to say to all on this thread the 40+ stress is a big fat POOH any PMs are welcome

Love you all and hug yu loads

Jules (BigJ)

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 5:03 pm

Hello Everyone,

BigJ - Congratulations on your milestone! And you honor our "over 40 crowd" with posting it here! We love you, too!

Caroline - your loss is a loss for us all. I feel your pain. BigJ is 100% right about this being a numbers game, though. Most are not successful on their first try and this was your first completed try. I know there are no words to really comfort you right now, but please don't give up. If you have the financial resources, you have to keep trying to beat the odds that are against us. God Bless!

Debbie - isn't it crazy how we actually look forward to "injections?" Tuesday will be here before you know it. Hang in there! Baby dust to you, as I pray this is your round, Sweetie!

Katie - glad you are here! I missed where you are in your cycle. What is your timeline like?

Hope everyone has a great weekend! The weather here is lovely. I go Tuesday for our follow-up consult regarding our cancelled cycle in June and our next steps. I think dh is FINALLY getting restless and might push for transferring next round. We had originally agreed to go 3 times, but with one cancelling, we could decide to not count that one, which would mean 4 total, which means I have 2 more in front of me. ??? I wouldn't mind going several more, if we were at least transferring and not "banking" the embryos each time. Oh well, no sense driving myself nuts until we have the info from our Tuesday meeting.

I'll keep you all informed.
Thanks for always being there! An angel was on my shoulder the day I stumbled onto this board. I'm so glad I have you ladies!

Love,
Randa

debbieed · Post by **debbieed** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 9:02 am

Hello All,
Not feeling great about things today girls. Just fed up with the sniffing - makes my sinuses hurt after this length of time. Just want to get the whole cycle over so that I know if I'm ever going to have a baby of my own. If this tmt doesn't work we're going to attempt to adopt so I'm still hopeful of having a family - just a different way. Of course what I want most is to hold my own little baby but I'm also really fed up with the uncertainty in my life. We've been trying for a baby for so long now that it seems like my life has been on hold and I'm really fed up with it.
God I sound like a miserable cow but I guess I'm just having a bad day - can I blame it on the drugs???
Thanks for the rant.
Hope that the rest of you can keep up the PMA - and send some my way please.

Randa - best of luck with your appointment on Tuesday - let us know what they say.

Take care all.
Love
Debbie

Katie12563 · Post by **Katie12563** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 5:39 pm

Hello Everyone!!

Debbie: You deserve to vent!!!!!

Good luck with this cycle. We are here for you!!!!!!!
I'll also start meds for a cycle in about 10 days (I think).

debbieed · Post by **debbieed** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:14 pm

Hello All,
I'm feeling a lot better now. I've been for my baseline scan today and am ready to begin injections tomorrow

. How mad!!!
Next appointment is a week on Tuesday so nothing left to do now except injections and keep fingers crossed. All on schedule for EC week begining 1st August.

Hope that you're all keeping up with the PMA - I am trying, honest!!!

Take Care
Love
Debbie

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:34 pm

Debbie, well done on your baseline scan....go jabbing!

Randa, do you think DH will make the call or will you need to help? Good luck with your apt. tomorrow.

BigJ, congrats on the 1000 post. Your support is invaluable.

Katie, welcome to the thread, the more the merrier!

Yes, I'm back from our extended UK + Sicilian wanderings

Extremely relaxed (and heavier) but that's just how it is!

I didn't think much about tmt at all which was great. Just a few wobbles when meeting someone due on what would have been my EDD + a friend who had years of ttc, had 2 goes at IVF but failed to respond, got pg naturally last year and confided that she hopes/thinks they're already expecting again. I fixed a huge smile on my face but could have sobbed.

My goal is a very healthy and active next 4 weeks. Perhaps the Zita detox - maybe.....and then wait for AF in mid-August ready to start our FET. Whilst away we actually agreed to a fresh cycle and to harvest but I think that's the wrong thing now. Time is ticking away and we've put our future on hold for such a long time already, this final FET should be it.

Happy summer everyone and PMA.
hugs
Debra.

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:45 pm

hi sweeties

having a bad time, but somehow it's so important that you are all here, thank you for that, you are so important to me........

Debbie - glad things are moving on, sorry if your stuff has been overshadowed, it's not true, you are thought of all the time

it's a pile of pooh going through this - rant on - we are here...

D - so glad you are back

lets do the slimmy thing together for September....I put on a few kg tooo. It's your decision but if you have the chance of another fresh cycle - well I would do it, but then I am POF so I am very very biased

My DS just had her little sweetie, she's 40, lets not go there but I just cant be there for her right now

so I get what you mean BIg time

Randa - thinking of you - lady thinking of you, whatever you decide........you are so important to us all

please dont leave it too long............sweetie, just me being biased...

Caroline - my heart goes out to you sweetie as you know..

Katie - how are you getting on????

Sam?

Kat?

have I forgotten someone (

)

Love and hugs

bigJ

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:30 pm

Hey Ladies!

Well, my appointment was fairly positive yesterday. Doc says that the eggs group up over the years and tend to come in waves. He said the 9 we got in Feb vs the 2 I would have retrieved (except we cancelled) this round is something he sees in all women of all ages. It's just that the numbers are proportionately greater in younger women (ex. 20 vs 5). My fsh level is still hovering at 15, not too great, and my E2 (estrogen) is at 40.9, which is good.
He said I could start another cycle asap. Since I'm on my period, I could start the bc pills today (day 3). And begin the stimms in about 3 weeks.
Hubby and I had a fight about the whole "banking" thing and so we're not doing anything until we come to some agreement.
I can't believe he is seeing this as a math problem. It's all just statistics to him!!! Beating the odds. Me getting older (44 in Sept) doesn't phase him at all. He wants to bank at LEAST once more if not TWO!!!
I'm at wits end. He talks about the embryos we have stored as if they are just a part of a math equation!!!
When I ovulated 2 weeks ago, we had been arguing that morning. However, I went to him later in the day and said, you need to know that I am definately ovulating today (my left ovary was pinging and I had a hormone headache coming on, plus it was exactly the date I should be ovulating by the calendar). He refused to have sex. He doesn't want me to get pregnant and then shut down our chances for banking more embryos!!!! He insists that he wants ..... get this..... THREE CHILDREN!!!!
HELLO!!! Didn't I say I'm about to be 44????!!!! Wouldn't we be LUCKY to just get ONE!!!!! at my age!!!!!!
I'm ready to strangle him!
His greed is going to leave us childless!
Even the doc told me after my dh left the room that we should quit playing around with this and do a fresh transfer next time!!!
I don't know what to do! I'm at my wits end!
Sorry to vent, but where else can I go? He won't let me tell our friends and family. Probably because he know his logic is nuts! He is playing God!
Hope you are all progressing well.
Debbie, good to see you back! Missed you so.
Randa

Emily Rose · Post by **Emily Rose** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 2:54 am

Randa,

I'm sorry about that--it sounds like a tough situation, and I can entirely relate to that!

For me, I had some not great news today. I saw the doctor finally (it takes a month and a half at my clinic in France to get an appt) to discuss my next IVF attempt. I brought him an ultrasound I'd taken it upon myself to do in June to show the size and location of my fibroids. It showed that I have one 6 cm and another just under that, in addition to 4 other smaller ones. Before the IVF in May, the biggest was 5 cm, so these things grew with the treatment, I think. Aargh.

So, I thought there was no chance, given my age, he'd want me to have them out. That he'd just go for the IVF and we'd hope. But no, he wants me to have them out! And since everything shuts down in France in the month of August, the soonest I can have it done is Sept. Then I have to wait 3 months for recuperation, so the IVF would be in December--3 months after I turn 43 and further reducing my chances due to the age factor. (I think he'll start me stimming before Dec, though, if I understood right, and that the transfer would be in December.)

On the other hand, these things really bother me (like walking around with big lemons in my abdomen), so I like the idea of having them out!

But it's also frustrating to know that if I could have gotten in to see him sooner, I could have had the surgery by now--say in May or June!

Emily

The Over 40 Crowd

Thanks Caroline

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