The Over 40 Crowd

[JaneR]

Hi Girls,

Sorry i haven't been on for a while, my computer died and i have got the replacement yet and of course I have been really busy at work. But today i am on my own so while eating lunch i thought i would log in.

Randa you have been my inspiration today, your Dr sounds so nice and what he has said has given my hope. On Tuesday i went to see the top Consultant at the clinic where I go for IVF, he is meant to be one of the countries experts and we went to see him for suggestions/advice on what we could do for the next cycle as the last one was a bit of a dead loss. I got 4 eggs but only one fertilised. Well to say i was shocked on Tuesday is an under statement i cried al afternoon and all night. His opening statement was things aren't looking good you've only got 1-2% chance you can go again but it won't work. And then he was unwilling to discuss medication, injectins trying anything new he just said this is what we do and thats it.
Spoke to my nurse who said it wasn't the end of the line for us because we had done so well first time round but then I had a problem with my uterus. She said like your Dr no one cycle is ever the same and I might do much better this, if I don't then there probably isn't alot we can do. But my fsh has always been normal. She was also un happy about how he spoke to us and said we weren't the first unfortunately and she would follow it up and it probably wasn't worth sending me there if he couldn't offer anything else.

After speaking to her I felt much better but I also feel better now reading your post Randa.

How is everyone else doing? BigJ how are you hope you are starting to feel alittle better.

Debra glad to see you are back and you enjoyed your holiday.

Debbie hope the stimming is going OK.

Emily Rose sorry to hear about your delay but at least you will feel much better once the fibroids have gone, I know i did. Ah August in Paris everything closed but a short journey from the airport to the office thats what I remember.

Sorry if I've missed anyone.

Anyway better go now and get on with some work.

Love,

Jane

[randa2006]

Emily,
Sorry that the fibroids are going to cost you some precious time. I agree that it is best, though, to get them out first. My doc keeps telling me that things don't change quite as fast as I think at our age. I know how you feel - like months are years that pass, not just a regular month. But you have just as good a chance of hitting a big cluster of eggs in December too. Just a few months won't normally make THAT much difference - at least that's what my doc says.

Jane,
So glad you found my info helpful and inspiring. My doc says that what group size of eggs you are going to hit is determined 150 days ahead of time. I guess they "line up" during the 5 months prior to ovulation???? He said this twice about the 150 days, so no chance I misunderstood. News to me and don't know how helpful it is, but thought I'd share that too. The clusters vary in size. We could all still have a couple of "mother loads" in there just waiting their turn. ??? It's like the lottery balls

Not a good day here. Dh and I still fighting.
Where's the chocolate?

[DebraP]

Randa, just wanted to say I hope this DH thing gets sorted quickly. It seems kind of late in the game for him to announce he'd like 3 don't you think? and as for not having the support of friends and family to help diffuse the pressure, you have my sympathy.

I can't stop for long. I've been working on the pc all night (now 22.30) and tonight is one of only 6 in the next 40 that DF will be home....

We've just reopened the fresh vs. FET debate today. He'll go with whatever I want ultimately, my body, my emotional distress, getting on with our lives etc. I've posted this elsewhere I suspect (old age, forgetful ) but we'd agreed this was it. The consultant then suggested fresh as we've had great success with that and now we're undecided. We've got several weeks to decide luckily.

Good luck getting things calmed down.

Hi to everyone else. As soon as DF is back at work, I'll have MASSES of board time again
hugs
Debra.

[randa2006]

Thanks Debra. To be honest, dh has said all along that he wants three, but I have never agreed to it. I appreciate your perspective, always. Thanks for making me feel somewhat sane in all this madness.

Fresh vs. FET - tough, but the docs over here also say fresh is best. You'll do the right thing. And we'll be right here for you all the way.

More and more I'm convinced it will be Sept EC for me. We are waiting through one more af before going back on the meds. You and I could be cycle buddies

[Emily Rose]

Thanks, Randa. It was great to hear that.

I have liked to think, well, I never had a wild youth, spent little time in the sun, ate pretty healthy (though too much and did smoke for a brief period in college!), didn't take birth control (didn't have to with my late hubby), and that therefore I must be the exception. And then I saw this post on another site where another woman of 43 was told by an RE she was interviewing for her possible next attempt that she hadn't a chance, that she should use donor eggs, that all woman her age thought they were the exception. And I wanted to cry (as did this woman). [Funny, too, because the woman ended up with a +ve three days after that--though it lasted only like a day.]

And I keep thinking, well, I did have a good number of eggs for my age (10) and 3 great-looking embies for transfer. It's just that they say even an embryo like that is not necessarily normal--and that many at this age are chromozomally abnormal and all that. I'd like to think that I have some home-run hitters left, but I just don't know...

Wish I could just get on with it. Wish I could just have the IVF now!

I did e-mail my doc tonight, though, asking him if at the same time as the fibroid removal they could go in and fix my tube problem. Whaddya think?

Emily

[JaneR]

Randa, thanks again for your inspiration. Good to hear about the 150 days no one has ever said that to me and to be honest 150 days before my last IVF I was having a horrible time down regging for my FET it took 6 weeks to downreg correctly they had given me a downreg injection that lasted 4-5 weeks and it was horrible. Full memopuase symton which i don't normally get with the daily injections, so that might have been why things didn't go according to plan as i was completely switched off. Might put my next go back amonth ti September/October.

Thanks again.

Jane

[randa2006]

Emily, I think fixing two problems at the same time makes sense. Of course, I'm no medical expert. My feelings are that the fewer number of times they are inside us the better!!! Good that you are asking for this. I just remembered that when I had my tubes reconnected the doc also took care of my polyps. Not the same as your issue, but close.

[DianeC]

Hello to All,

I found this site yesterday and think it is great! I guess there would be a lot of us out there who do not have the opportunity to discuss IVF issues with anyones else except our doctors and nurse co-ordinators. We are one of those couples who have chosen to keep our IVF woes to ourselves and I believe we have paid a price for that decision.

We have recently completed our 6th IVF Donor Egg cycle. Initially, we started IVF using my own eggs but too no avail. After three tries in Australia and realising that my eggs would not "do it" for us, we changed our strategy. We went over to America and started on a Donor Egg Program in California. Our first cycle was terrible. I was so sick and bleeding non stop and the donors eggs were also not of good quality. So much money spent but with little reward or hope:(. Our next try went so much better. We changed our donor and ended up with 8 blastocysts - 2 for transfer and 6 to freeze. So whilst everything seemed to go right, still no luck....

In July, we thought that we would try a frozen cycle as we were told that the blastocysts that were frozen were still of very good quality. After so many fresh transfers we seemed to stike lucky with our frozen transfer. We finally had a positive prgnancy test! This has been very short lived as we were told yesterday that the HCG levels had dropped considerably and the pregnancy is not viable. I had my Anti D injection this afternoon.

My husband and I are so sad and tired. We hardly have the motivation and energy to continue. I am 42 and my husband 48. I guess we were hoping that our dream would have happened by now and we are starting to think that maybe age might be a consideration in persuing our goal.

I would really like to hear from anyone who has had multiple cycles and finally achieved the dream. What did you do to keep that motivation going? There is no obvious reason that we can't concieve. Does anyone have any information on Antiphopholipid Antibodies (APA), Natural Killer Cells (NK) or Cytotoxic Lymphocites (CTIs) as possible cause for IVF failure.

Cheers Di[/size]

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[debbieed]

Hello All,
This thread seems to have loads going on at the moment. I haven't been able to get on here for a few days as I've been too busy so I've spent ages catching up with all of you.
It is nice to read of some of the positive moves forward that some of you are making - it gives me hope that my cycle MAY give me the +ive result I soooo want.
For those of you not having such a good time I send you a hug. The one thing that we all have in common is the worry of time running out. I know that's how I feel so I'm sure that many of you worry about it too. Unfortunately there is nothing any of us can do about it but we can be here to share and listen. I know that you've all helped me by just being there when I need to rant so I hope I can do the same in some small way.
The injections are going fine with me - tummy is now getting a bit sore and I'm definately bloated but it does at least mean I'm getting closer. Hopefully only just over aother week before EC. Next scan on Tuesday to find out how many follicles I've got. They've upped my drugs this time as the first two cycles I only produced 6 eggs so hopefully I'll get a few more. It then may give us the opportunity of freezing some as we've never had any that have got that far.
Try to keep up the PMA and if you can't don't forget to drop in here for a rant. It really does help.

Take care all
Love
Debbie

[Kat]

Hi all, thought I'd pop in to see how you all are. I am still reading the boards on & off and have nearly posted a few times but I think I'm in that inbetween stage where I am either desperate for tmt to start or don't want to think about it at all. Some days I am really excited and other days I want to cry. Guess that's why they call it a rollercoaster.
Sperm fitness training programme will be hotting up when DH gets back from his trip to Canada, hope it's not too late to have some effect. At least I know he has his vitamins with him because I put them in his bag myself and showed him where I had put them! Whether he remembers to take them or not of course is another matter....
I have been really good and have been eating salads all week and have put on a pound - where's the logic in that I ask you?
Be back soon,
Kat xx

[debbieed]

Hello All,
Guess everyone is busy at the weekend so few posts on here.
Things are just ticking a long with me - begining to get a bit more bloated and sore. A bit tired too but I don't think I'm as bad as I was last time, and I'm on a higher dose of puregon! Hopefully it's a good sign.
Next appointment is on tuesday so I'll get to find out how many follicles are developing - can't wait.
Have fun all

Love
Debbie

[DebraP]

Hi....another shortish message. We're now down to 3 nights free for DF in the next 3 weeks....

Jane. The doctor sounds brutal. I think straight explanations help but with feeling. September is going to be huge for the board, join us

Randa. I'd not heard the 150days thing either. A really useful thing to know...let's hope Zita puts it in her next book and we can spread the word on here. How's the discussion with DH going? You and I in September then?

Diane. So sorry to read your +ve turned -ve so quickly. Many of us have been there, it hurts like hell and the feelings of 'so unfair' take a long time to fade. Be kind to yourself, grieve and maybe take a rest? just a month or two? You say that you're both tired, it can't help egg/sperm quality at all. There is a great thread on NK cells. Scroll down, it could be on the next page, called something like 'ever wondered why ivf fails?'. The person who wrote it, cut and pasted a HUGE amount of info. You can see from my signature I've been trying for a similar number times as you (although my first attempt worked). There are some wonderful stories on here. A previous queen-of-the-board had twins last summer on her 5th attempt. JenF is over on the PG side and she tried 5-6 times too. When I joined a woman had just had a baby after 10 tries....don't give up!

Debbie. good luck with the downregging and scan on Tuesday. So little time to go....we're all watching, waving and cheering you on.

Emily. I'm with Randa, get it sorted at the same time if they'll do that. You don't want the delays and the extra procedures, meds etc. can only put you back a little.

Lynne. I know you're on your way to Puglia but have a wonderful time. Smile through the family visits and enjoy the time you have alone with DH. Hopefully the stress will slip away and you can have fun.

Kat...I hear you on the salads. I'm soooooo bored of healthy eating and I've only been doing it a week Re. DH's sperm fitness programme. According to the oracle (Zita), only worth doing if you've 100 days before conception. She quotes 74 days to them to form and 20-30 to mature completely.

BigJ..hi there sweetie. Hope you're regaining your strenth and recovery has started, at least a little bit? It will take time, you know that though, don't you?

Me? well, doing OK. Think we've decided this is it. We've 3 good grade frosties and I think we'll go for all 3 asap. Next AF is mid-August so will call the clinic tomorrow (been closed for summer hols) and check what I need to do. I hope I can have an FSH check as I'd like to know that's still low enough to go. Healthy eating has paid off and I've lost a bit this week. Also had several knocks this weekend on hearing both pairs of our closest friends are expecting next March. Both now have a toddler, a baby and one on the way. This was hot on the heels of friends last week with similar news. I'd like not to hear more on this subject for a while. I did appreciate my FIL's gf asking how I was post-op today. Most people ignore what happened now it's been a month or so. Enough, I hope we all get what we yearn for.

hugs
Debra

[DianeC]

[color=darkblue][/color]Hi All

Firstly, thank you for those who responded to my plight, it was really appreciated:) My husband and I are coping with the news and I think that perhaps our past experience with failur, has helped with this. We are still waiting for things to happen and I guess if nothing starts by the end of the week, I ring the doctor. Probably not much they can do anyway.

I really appreciated the link for the NK cells - thank you. We had come across some information about this recently, hence my questions. We have an appointment by phone, with our clinic in America and will be raising the issues. Actually, they are pretty advanced in their techniques and I am sure they already cover some immunology issues, i.e. High doses of Folic Acid, low dose aspirin (for APA?) Prednisone (NK Cells?).

We will pursue another cycle perhaps in November this year so rest is on the agenda. Well if you call working, looking after family and studying rest......

Cheers Di

[JaneR]

Emily Rose,

Are you having your fibroids removed with a myomectomy or hysterosocply. If its the first ful surgery I was told it would be over £5000 to have done when i went in to have it done on the NHS. If its the latter i don't know as you are in and out in a day. I have had both.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Jane

[DebraP]

I'm plagued by doubt and I'd value other opinions to mull over.

I'm torn between using our 3 frozen eggs in a final round of tmt vs. a new (and 4th) fresh cycle this Sept.

If we FET and a -ve = it's over, no more tmt, no more emotional dread, no more waiting for something to happen and we can move on. Today we visited the place DF wants us to get married, we started talking of dates next summer but as always, it was full of 'yes buts', 'what ifs' and 'maybes' re. tmt. I had a (shortlived) +ve FET last year so I know it can work for us.

Fresh gives us the best chance of a +ve result I know, but it might also give us more eggs to freeze, which we would then want to use, should the fresh fail. We've already got 3 in the freezer, how long do we carry on?

Not sure any of this will make sense to anyone else but you get the gist.
Any pearls of wisdom??
Debra.