Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[sonu911]

I just got back from our appt - I made DH drive me, in case it was bad news, I didn't want to have to drive myself after. BUT, it was good news - and it was still nice to share the ride back with him!

Our little one is growing well and measuring 1.71 cm and has a heart rate of 176. Though we're still not out of the woods (of course) we are sitting much more comfortably - as we've now made it past the stage where we lost our last little one. Praise to God for His goodness and mercy.

Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers... continuing to pray for each of you - praying that we will all be richly blessed.

I will post baby's pic later, gotta get it scanned in.

Hey Hope ~ Great news!!! Can't thank God enough for His countless blessings.

This morning is so wonderful. I read about Hope's progress and then one of my old friends, who was on this path IVF is also 8 weeks pregnant...I am sooo thrilled!!!! God Bless her and her little angel.

[sonu911]

Nikki ~ Thanks for the wishes and for the list. I am just doing a part time job, I am sure HOPE will soon take over. Just 6 days away from THE day. This has to work this time, and IT WILL.

Indie~ You are most unlikely to be in that odd circumstance/s
I am so happy for you, the paths are opening on itself. Not far from that ER, ET ...2ww and then....BFP!!! YAY!!!

Hrobinson ~ Thanks for your wonderful words. Yes, so many good things are happening here, and it will continue to happen.
I am pleased that after ET, you will have your summer break, beacuse then you have to take it easy in initial weeks ....amen!!

Hugs and Prayers for all!!!

[nicaliw]

Hi girls...you all do such a great job at keping up the pma. I don't know how you all do it. I'm really struggling. The wait between transfer and beta just drives me insane. I thought this time I was going to be more more collected and relaxed. Well, I was wrong. I'm an emotional wreck. One minute trying to convince myself there's a chance I could be pregnant this time, the next minute I'm crying and sobbing wondering how I'm ever going to make it back at work next week around all my pregnant collegues. I still have 6 days to go and I'm falling apart. I really doubt this cycle worked because I can't find very much ressuring info anywhere about successful cycles with thin linings. Now, of course, I'm not only upset that this cycle may not work but also dreading the next cycle in case my lining still doesn't get any thicker.
Blah.....sorry to be so negative but I'm really down.
I'm so obsessed over this waiting that I'm comparing my symptoms to last time (cause last time I was pregnant). last time I already had sore nipples at this stage, but not this time. I know, I'm a little crazy, but I just need a little lift.
OK, thats enough of that, so sorry, just had to rant and feel sorry for myself a little.
Nikki

[waitingforMia]

NIc _ DOn't be sorry about being negative! We are here for eachother in the good times AND bad! Sorry you are feeling so much anxiety. The 2ww can be hell. Trust me I am sure we all have our down times. Just try not to compare b/c you will just make yourself crazy like this! You need to keep up the PMA! It ain't over till the fat lady sings... or until AF comes to visit! So chin up girlie!!!

Sonu: You are such a doll for taking over for Hope right now! Thanks for posting the updates! And soooo happy that your us went well Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!

Hope: How are you feeling??? Please share - we wont take it as complaining. Is the m/s still really getting to you?? I have been feeling much better this week 13 weeks. There is an end in sight! My energy is on the rise I think too! Though I never mind a midday nap! But it will ease off.

Indie: That is funny about the odd circumstance! And 300$ bettr than 500$! Hmm Your lunch with mom sounds like the times I have to spend with mine! I try to honor her in the Lord, but she is just not a pleasant person! I am throwing her a bday party on May 4th and dreading it already.

I think my appetite is coming back slowly but surely. I have officially lost 12lbs since the start of IVF! I am actually at my targeted weight. I never thought I would lose weight!! Not sure if yall remember I was sending off some applications for a job a while back. I have a second interview at a college that is in another city where dh and I would like to move to. I still dont want to start a job 3 mos before I deliver, but I am praying for God's will.
BTW someone asked where dh is from: Moldova (bonus points for anyone who knows where it is!!). He will be going for 6 weeks and I will be going for three weeks.

Alright bedtime! I am so glad to see so many posts here lately. I really treasure the friendships I have here!
MP

[sonu911]

Hi girls...you all do such a great job at keping up the pma. I don't know how you all do it. I'm really struggling. The wait between transfer and beta just drives me insane. I thought this time I was going to be more more collected and relaxed. Well, I was wrong. I'm an emotional wreck. One minute trying to convince myself there's a chance I could be pregnant this time, the next minute I'm crying and sobbing wondering how I'm ever going to make it back at work next week around all my pregnant collegues. I still have 6 days to go and I'm falling apart. I really doubt this cycle worked because I can't find very much ressuring info anywhere about successful cycles with thin linings. Now, of course, I'm not only upset that this cycle may not work but also dreading the next cycle in case my lining still doesn't get any thicker.
Blah.....sorry to be so negative but I'm really down.
I'm so obsessed over this waiting that I'm comparing my symptoms to last time (cause last time I was pregnant). last time I already had sore nipples at this stage, but not this time. I know, I'm a little crazy, but I just need a little lift.
OK, thats enough of that, so sorry, just had to rant and feel sorry for myself a little.
Nikki

Hey Nikki

I am feeling so bad that you have to go through this. I also had bouts of NMA during my 2ww.
I can just say that don't stress comparing this pregnancy with the previous one.....as they say every pregnancy is unique and different. You are already so stressed and went through so much, your baby doesn't want to bother you anymore. In any case, he/she is Godsent, and who knows the outcome better than Him. So chin up, smile and just believe in him.

On other note, don't you have shopping malls, movie theatere etc,. around??....so just don't sit in front of your computer...just runaway.

We all love you.

[sonu911]

I think my appetite is coming back slowly but surely. I have officially lost 12lbs since the start of IVF! I am actually at my targeted weight. I never thought I would lose weight!! Not sure if yall remember I was sending off some applications for a job a while back. I have a second interview at a college that is in another city where dh and I would like to move to. I still dont want to start a job 3 mos before I deliver, but I am praying for God's will.
BTW someone asked where dh is from: Moldova (bonus points for anyone who knows where it is!!). He will be going for 6 weeks and I will be going for three weeks.

Alright bedtime! I am so glad to see so many posts here lately. I really treasure the friendships I have here!
MP

Mia ~ I think my prayer worked for you and I can now collarup for doing that list. Great to hear that your apetite is back and now you will enjoy all the moldovian cuisines like mamaliga with some meat and cheese and tuica. I visited Ukraine, few years ago during the same time of the year, and the weather was wonderful. So most definitly you are going to have a great time there.

I am praying that God gives you direction reagarding your job prospect.

[sonu911]

Mia ~ CONGRATULATIONS on graduating to second trimester.

[chriss]

Good news Hope and Sonu. Glad everything is going well.

Nikki, sorry that you are down right now. Hang in there. One minute at a time. Try to get some of the PMA back. We are here for you. thinking of you.

Just popping in quickly to say hi everyone.

-chriss

[nicaliw]

Thanks ladies for your support. I really did need to get away from sitting with the computer and feeling negative. I'm doing a little better today, i went out and did a little shopping and went to a baby store......felt good to get out.

I have started planning the next step if this cycle is a BFN. I will hopefully be able to stim again in June for a likely early July transfer. Thats not so far away. in the meantime, I think my DH and I should bring forward our vacation to May. Feels much better have a plan so I don't fall apart when they give me the bad news.....or should say "if" not when. Gott keep some pma, right?

I hope you are experiencing some lovely warm spring weather like we are here in Denver. Today I sat out under the gazebo on a lounger with a really light breeze blowing the wind chimes, it was so relaxing and peaceful, I highly recommend it.

[IndieBlue]

Nicaliw: Don't apologize for being down....I'm the same way, hard to keep a PMA. It's easy to think that God has left the building too....that he's got more 'important' things to worry about or that his plan is different...etc. God wants his children to be happy though! Plain and simple, and he is EVERYWHERE, so staying right beside you throughout this whole process doesn't take him away from anyone else. Just as no sin is greater than another, no need is greater than another. He see's your needs and wants just as important as anyone else's. Again, I know it's hard to have a PMA, but don't count your little embies out!!! Maybe you're having 2 and each of them is canceling the other out on M/S and such....or they are just waiting till later in your pregnancy to bring on that Just try to keep busy....and know that we're all praying for you.

Chriss: Good to see you posting....hope all is well!

Sonu: Great updated prayer list! I think you won the Moldova question that Mia posed too....nice, you know your Geography!!!

Mia: Glad that you've gained your appetite back. It didn't take too long for me to get mine back with my 2 birth babies. I don't think I ever lost weight...but then I was tiny when I had them (118 pounds at the beginning and then I weighed 140 or so at delivery!!!) I'm starting out higher than delivery weight with this one!!! Ugghhh, gotta quit thinking like that, I'm also 13/14 years older LOL Good luck on the job prospect too, if you're offered the job will you take it? Such a hard decision...and again so close to your delivery date too! Would they possibly let you start after the summer courses? Which would buy you 3-4 months? Are you going to take off some time after delivery too? Hmm, again...hard decision. If you took the job and you guys moved, are you closer to family?

Hope: Glad you got to see your baby.....what an exciting time! And so GREAT that you're past your milestone in this pregnancy....PMA for 9 more months....well wait a minute, 8 more?

Sonu: your post makes me think you're feeling that there is another one in there? Did the doctor think that the next US might show more too? How exciting!

HRobinson: How are you?

Well, nothing new here. Still waiting on AF! Off to eat supper

[kbat]

Hi Ladies!!

I wouldn't apologize for being down.... It's a difficult journey that we are all going through. It's difficult to understand why so many of us are having these problems trying to get these children. In my mind I know that God has a plan for us and mentally I try to understand it, but then emotionally it's so hard to understand. I yearn so much to have children (at this point, I would rejoice w/ one child--used to want a lot, but would be happy w/ one now), and it's a struggle to understand why some people have no problem getting them while there are those of us who can't get this one thing in our lives....

I struggle a lot w/ this. Although I know that this is not the norm, you hear/read in the news about people who drown their kids because they are going through a divorce and if they can't have the kids, then they will be da*ned if the other person gets them--or the people who beat their kids or whatever, and I sit and wonder why I can't have any. I don't think in my wildest dreams I would do something like that. As I said earlier, it's a struggle--you know in your mind that whatever happens it's God's will, but it doesn't make it any easier--at least for me--emotionally. But we are only human....

I am kind of a little down myself because I am wondering if doing the TCM is really worth it. I am in the process of doing the ovulation test (I am on day 13, and so far no ovulation, but I am pretty good at ovulating on day 14). But w/ one of my tubes removed, I know that every month there's only a 50% chance of it working naturally--if all the stars are aligned just right. But I keep telling myself that I have nothing to lose--if this doesn't work, then I will be no worse off than I was before. But I guess I am just looking at the glass as being half empty. But there are times I can't help but wonder if it's a waste of time. I guess only time will tell....

Well pretty tired so off to bed I go.

[nicaliw]

OK, ladies, I may be jumping the gun a little but -being the poasaholic I am- I poas tonight. At first it looked negative but something made me hold it a little closer to my face and study it again. I thought I could see the faintest possible 2nd pink line so I took it up to my DH (who I can rely on to bring me back down to earth) and he almost right away that he saw a 2nd pink line too! I'm kind of excited but also aware that it could be a chemical or it could be the pink dye smudging or something on the test......I try again in the morning........tbc

[waitingforMia]

I think my appetite is coming back slowly but surely. I have officially lost 12lbs since the start of IVF! I am actually at my targeted weight. I never thought I would lose weight!! Not sure if yall remember I was sending off some applications for a job a while back. I have a second interview at a college that is in another city where dh and I would like to move to. I still dont want to start a job 3 mos before I deliver, but I am praying for God's will.
BTW someone asked where dh is from: Moldova (bonus points for anyone who knows where it is!!). He will be going for 6 weeks and I will be going for three weeks.

Alright bedtime! I am so glad to see so many posts here lately. I really treasure the friendships I have here!
MP

Mia ~ I think my prayer worked for you and I can now collarup for doing that list. Great to hear that your apetite is back and now you will enjoy all the moldovian cuisines like mamaliga with some meat and cheese and tuica. I visited Ukraine, few years ago during the same time of the year, and the weather was wonderful. So most definitly you are going to have a great time there.

I am praying that God gives you direction reagarding your job prospect.

WOW - Someone knows what mamliga is!!! I love it.

Yes I will be enjoying some good food soon . Why were you in Ukraine??
Thanks for your prayers I ate two tacos for dinner! I am hoping to gain some weight b/c the scale shows I lost another 3lbs this week! That is almost 13 lbs since IVF!

[waitingforMia]

OK, ladies, I may be jumping the gun a little but -being the poasaholic I am- I poas tonight. At first it looked negative but something made me hold it a little closer to my face and study it again. I thought I could see the faintest possible 2nd pink line so I took it up to my DH (who I can rely on to bring me back down to earth) and he almost right away that he saw a 2nd pink line too! I'm kind of excited but also aware that it could be a chemical or it could be the pink dye smudging or something on the test......I try again in the morning........tbc

Oy Nic! You have me nervous for you now!!! I think we shoudl offer cash prizes as incentives for those who hold off . Oh I hope this is it for you girl! Keep us posted!

[waitingforMia]

Hi Ladies!!

I wouldn't apologize for being down.... It's a difficult journey that we are all going through. It's difficult to understand why so many of us are having these problems trying to get these children. In my mind I know that God has a plan for us and mentally I try to understand it, but then emotionally it's so hard to understand. I yearn so much to have children (at this point, I would rejoice w/ one child--used to want a lot, but would be happy w/ one now), and it's a struggle to understand why some people have no problem getting them while there are those of us who can't get this one thing in our lives....

I struggle a lot w/ this. Although I know that this is not the norm, you hear/read in the news about people who drown their kids because they are going through a divorce and if they can't have the kids, then they will be da*ned if the other person gets them--or the people who beat their kids or whatever, and I sit and wonder why I can't have any. I don't think in my wildest dreams I would do something like that. As I said earlier, it's a struggle--you know in your mind that whatever happens it's God's will, but it doesn't make it any easier--at least for me--emotionally. But we are only human....

I am kind of a little down myself because I am wondering if doing the TCM is really worth it. I am in the process of doing the ovulation test (I am on day 13, and so far no ovulation, but I am pretty good at ovulating on day 14). But w/ one of my tubes removed, I know that every month there's only a 50% chance of it working naturally--if all the stars are aligned just right. But I keep telling myself that I have nothing to lose--if this doesn't work, then I will be no worse off than I was before. But I guess I am just looking at the glass as being half empty. But there are times I can't help but wonder if it's a waste of time. I guess only time will tell....

Well pretty tired so off to bed I go.

Sorry you are feeling down. It is the big waiting game isn't it? I wish I could say something to make you feel better. We are all here for you.