Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[lolajones]

Aloha Toberlosen

I'm back from what will go down in the Yawn Chronicles as the most "minor blip on the happy radar" holiday ever. But more of that later.....

So ladies! First of all congratulationes! Page 1 Page 1 PAGINA UNA!!!! Chant chant chant. Nicely done.
I see its been a bit of a coaster de roller while I've been gone.
Little RRR - darn! Zurich! Yes I look exactly like CZJ but in a smaller font, smaller la las and with utterly different features. We have the same hair though...
Sorry you've been feeling crapster young dudess. I also feel lonely with this, especially since starting this freezer fresh cycle of doom. But we have eachother and man oh man, I am VERY grateful for that. Hope you get to have some DIY fun in Switzerland. Make sure you keep in touch!

Steffanny my bitchin young bomba. I hope you left a suitably narked message.. How come they don't realise the importance of this? Top qual eggs is my guess anywaysup. As for the life obstacle course being a bit tough at present... can I join you in the convent? I look ridiculous in a wimple but I'm willing to give it a shot for a bit of peace. As for Demetrio fat boy Speedo, I have him on a treadmill wired up to the National Grid - we are powering the whole of East London!

Jemla emla - nuts about your scan but at least you have found the silver lining! I have lost that skill - hey, you reckon its the acupuncture? Making you all happy n chilled n that? How're you doing anyhoo?

Walsheerah, queen of the vines - your little away trip sounded fantastic! And you're right, don't look back! Look forward or you'll just trip over. Next time you lose those slippery little 3 pounds, send them to me. I'll euthanase them with some top notch anaesthetic agents.

Well my amazing friends of the interweb-o-net, boy am I glad to be back.
"Holiday" was not bueno. I haven't slept a wink and spent most of my time with the in-laws. Me and dh eventually had Huge Important Discussion after I lost my temper (Fairly begun, buserelin fuelled) at what I thought was utter neglect of wife who is having hard time and under immense pressure et boring cetera. Good to clear the air but don't feel like I've even been away Did manage to get in a few Alias inspired tobogan top speed runs which were excellent plus a fondue and a raclette. Didn't help I guess that bf had baby on Monday and I was sent picture of the little beaut, a mere minutes old, to my phone. I mean of course I'm over the moon for her but I found it really hard. She was the one who was incredible during my first cycle, and through my long trek through the infertility investigations before that. I miss her. I'm really nervous about seeing her and the baby. I am a bad friend.

Had my scan today. Sonographer did it instead of doc and they were experimenting with a new machine so I was lollipopped up for AGES (socks on thank da lord). So then she tells me that I have fluid in the uterus and ovarian cysts and that I may have to postpone treatment. So I'm really f'offed and disappointed and thinking, I can't do this and work and study, my resilience is at zero nada, Acopia looming large. Then I get phone call from the hosp saying all's ok, start oestrogen patches and scan in a week. So, to summarise, I don't know what the bejesus is going on but I'm hormoning up this evening.

Well, I've left my funny in Switzerland by the looks! Sorry agents. Down in the dumps. My phone just went off - another photo of the baby. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Steph - as soon as you get the application forms from the nunnery - fax me a copy, I have had ENUFFFFFFFFFFFF

Righto I'm off to weep myself into a sobbing, breathless wreck, filled with guilt and despair.

Mucho amor!

Listless Lola
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Well, whadda know? I order her back and bingo bango presto- there she is! Welcome home, There's No Place Like Home Lola Sad Eyes!..... For my next wish I will command that we all get bumps in the middle, no worries Walshy, these are quite different than humps in other regions.

Let me say that the docs around here are not inspiring confidence! Don't they understand what emotional puddles we are at the present. Then they don't call back with results, they cancel scans and now they are telling you that your cycle may be cancelled just to call back and say- oh, we were just kidding ya- game on. What the bloody F? I am thinking the nunnery is lookin all the better..... just think, the hills are alive with the sound of music, captain von trap and all those children to sing to us! All together now...... Doe a deer a female deer, ray a drop of golden sun..... I can always keep my mango margaritas tucked away in secret hiding place. No worries.

Lola, let me say, turtledove.... what a crap va-kay! I hate "the talks", so draining and emotional and "why aren't you as stressed out as I am, I feel so alones" Why are we so invested and obsessed and they (atleast mine) seems to carry on with life as usual........ fiddle-dee-dee. Then to come back to that scan and mistake and stress and to top if off, finding Demetrio completely broken, knackered and out of shape to boot! Glad he is back on the program. The talks are draining, but I am sure you feel better after a little reassurement that DH is just as involved, just moves through differently. Afterall, he has a penis. The penis is a very weird bird, it actually prevents the mind from expressing emotion........

Also, you are not a bad friend. In fact, you are a perfect friend who is dealing with the fact that she really wants a baby and someone besides her got to have one. A friend who is deep down happy for that said someone, but the sadness and jealousy is so overwhelming, it tends to take over and make it very hard to see someone's happiness without a regret of lack of own happiness. At this point in the game, after so many dissappointments for all of us, I have decided that I need to do only what I can handle and I am completely honest with my friends about what I can't. If all you can do is send a card and a gift, then so be it! Please take care of my Lola Bug! She is very precious to all of us loopies.

Now, the final thought from my brilliant mind.........
You are SO close to being reunited with little Lola's with vise like grips and super embie strength. I have provided a map, so they know not to wander into tubeland. I have explained there is nothing for them there! They have promised to stay put in lovely Lola utero, complete with gummies and endless mindless DVD's...... Chin Up my girl. Remember your BFP is not very far off and you start the journey tonight!!! You will get a BFP! A very long lasting, 9 month BFP! Oh how we will cheer......

Loves to my Lola Bugs!
Steph

[lolajones]

Thank you Steph!! Beam of lovliness from the planet empathy!!
Your message and an addiction-feeding old episode of Law and Order (starring, you've guessed it, CHRIS NOTH) have lifted my spirits to an extent that I have new emoticon - hence The Flasher! Although he looky a bit gonadless....

PS I quite fancied Herr Von Trapp and would absoutely doe his deer whimple or no. You all know my eclectic taste in hombre...

OK, wave riders, I off to feed Demetrio some Gatorade before its lights out over London

Keep on keepin on dudes!
Lola
xx

[Jen1d]

On no Lola. You should feel refreshed and raring to go again. Take that 'bad friend' attitude out of your head, its so tough being us and having to listen and see others with everything we want but this does not make us bad friends. We will all get our bundle one day soon, it's just going to take some time. The best people down here get things that are a challenge but we WILL get it. Don't be too hard on yourself. At least your cycle has not been cancelled and you can move a step nearer to your little frosties coming home. Go and eat some chocolate and chill.

Steph - NEVER HEARD OF HELLO, can't believe that one . Just as well as you would have wanted to smack Geri Halliwell one right hook.
Hang in there girl, all will be revealed about you eggs soon .

No wonder Steph is confused. I meant to say that after my scan next Fri 17th i start stimming not downregging. Still no side affects but am really tired, could sleep for Scotland.

Love you and leave you

Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

My babes, my chicks, my girls!
How is the fantabulousness that is October buddies this morning?

Weather update for PA, US- it is 7am on March 10th and it is 63 degrees!! I am in shock. This was the mildest winter ever. We are supposed to be having blizzards and the like right now. I am not a fan of hot, so I am already dreading the stinkin heat and humidity that is summer. Ah, shucks ma'am.

So, FINALLY!!!! I got the call about my chromosones and they have in fact confirmed that I am crazy with a touch of insanity..... but my eggy chromosones are normal!! Hah! Normal! Yeah, hooray. Pom-poms, little skirts, spanky pants, high kicks and spirit fingers YAHHHHHHH!!!!

So, I feel good about that, but it doesn't really make me feel completely better as the test only catches a problem one in four times........ But, atleast I get the green light. DH will go for his chromosone test on Monday. I will be getting my witchy woman visit in the next couple of days, so I start again then. I am doing birth control for 2 weeks first, then we start..... my nurse looked at the calendar and expects my retrieval to be around April 12th and the transfer around the 17th!!! Things move fast around these here parts. Yowza, Yowza, Yowza. I am actually excited to start from scratch this time, no frozens. I had a low follie response the last time, so I am anxious to see if that happens again or if the last time was a fluke.

How's my bunnies today?
Lola? Feeling more upbeat and ready to whip some IVF boot-tay? We shall conquer together- ALL of us!
Jen- how was 2nd trip to Needlehood? Any luck with a home to call your own?
Walshy- you are such a tease..... come back give us the goods and leave again.. we are always wantin more you little dirty-dirty!
Little R- if checkin in... Hi ya sweety-pie!

Feeling a little Om today actually,
Steph

[lolajones]

So, Diagnosis: Bueno Eggs!
Hoorah! See I told you your flavour of ma-ma-madness is under the radar! Woo and indeed a hoo! ET April!!!! Man oh man thats really not that far!!! It'll be you and The R getting ready to go as Jen and I are celebrating our bfps!! Then we'll all be cheering The Walsh on as she steams in with hers.

That all sounds very positive n'est pas? I am in disguise........as positivity emitter, beep, beep....beep.

I'm at the library, "studying". Todays torture is epidemiology, blah blah blah. The place is filled with usual assorted old bufties. I swear I am the only person under 90 in the building apart from Guiseppe the barman. Yes, library has a bar! Disfortunadamente I am banned
Oh hang on! Under 40 male has just sat down opposite me - such a shame I have medusa bed hair and wild study eyes..

Well the weekend approaches and it means nothing to me as where will I be? Hmm? Hmm? Here in the medical desert where brain cells come to die a slow and pedestrian death, the library of broken dreams.

Have a fantastic weekend my beauteous lovers! May the sun of festivity shine down on your parades.

Amor y more

Lola
xxx

[lolajones]

So, Diagnosis: Bueno Eggs!
Hoorah! See I told you your flavour of ma-ma-madness is under the radar! Woo and indeed a hoo! ET April!!!! Man oh man thats really not that far!!! It'll be you and The R getting ready to go as Jen and I are celebrating our bfps!! Then we'll all be cheering The Walsh on as she steams in with hers.

That all sounds very positive n'est pas? I am in disguise........as positivity emitter, beep, beep....beep.

I'm at the library, "studying". Todays torture is epidemiology, blah blah blah. The place is filled with usual assorted old bufties. I swear I am the only person under 90 in the building apart from Guiseppe the barman. Yes, library has a bar! Disfortunadamente I am banned
Oh hang on! Under 40 male has just sat down opposite me - such a shame I have medusa bed hair and wild study eyes..

Well the weekend approaches and it means nothing to me as where will I be? Hmm? Hmm? Here in the medical desert where brain cells come to die a slow and pedestrian death, the library of broken dreams.

Have a fantastic weekend my beauteous lovers! May the sun of festivity shine down on your parades.

Amor y more

Lola
xxx

[Jen1d]

Steph - YYYYEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH.
Finally some fab news. BFP's here we come.

Not happy about your sunny weather though. I woke up today to snow and am working on a sleep-over today at 3pm so will have to dig my car out and crawl to work as the roads are awful .

Have a good weekend everyone

Loads of love, hugs and PMA

Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hey Good Ship Lollipops!!!

What is going on.......It seems there is no new news in the land of TuberNuts! we were at the very bottom when I checked in. So very close to page 2..... dun, dun, dun!!

I have no new news either... but will atleast make an effort to chat!

The big man from above is having a grand time messin wit me this month. I am on day 33 with still no Crazy Witch visit. I am usually a 26 day'r. So this is very late. I know that little b*tch is on her way, but doesn't feel like showing her evil mug. I have all the signs of red spotted doom!.......... Absolutely refuse to believe anything else. But you know that it still messes with your head. Thinkin there could be a chance, even when you have all the usual signs, you still allow that one little part of your brain to hope and wish it were true. I absolutely refuse to take a test! I will not take another test until I know that I will get a positive. I will not see another negative pee stick!! So, I will wait her out..... I know whe is coming and I will not allow myself to think otherwise! But why does it have to mess with you? If it is going to come, why can't it come on time? ARGHHHH!!!!

So, my loves........... whatz uppy?
Fill me in on your fun filled lives. It has to be more exciting than mine. It is currently 74 degrees here! 74 degrees in early March, weird. But, don't get excited Jen, we are to be back down to 40 by weeks end, that's more like it!

OK bunnies!
Wishin it were nap time,
Steph

[Jen1d]

Hi Steph

Looks like its only us around. I have no news either, it's getting sad eh?

Had acupuncture today and all went well. Can't see a difference as i'm not ill but hopefully it's working inside.

Have scan on Friday then hopefully all systems go for the injections to start. It feels like this cycle is going so quick. Am being positive but do have moments of "what if it doesn't work again". Anyway WE WILL stay positive.

Will do a little chant to help the evil b*tch to arrive.

Little R - Hope your having fun

Lola - Scan is nearly here, are you getting excited?

Walshy - Whats your news?

Big hug for you all

Love Jen x

[Walshy]

Hello Oh Crazy Ones

I like most of you do not have any news at the moment hence my diappearance. I actually have a question for you all....
I havn't had a visit from AF since Dec after the failed IVF (common with my PCOS) do you think i should take some tablets to bring on an AF so maybe I will ovulate myself and not have to do another cycle....They ahve recently done studies over here that state it's not bad to miss AF for a while it does nothing to your reproductive system (not that mine works). What do you think???

So here is where we are at correct me if i'm wrong....
Lola: downregging, 28 March ET
Steph: Great Quality Eggs Awaiting Husband test
Jen: downregging, 9 March baseline scan - doing acupuncture
Little R: 25 March Drs Appt cycling April ???
Walshy: cycling June/July (delayed as I can have a holiday)

Well i have my sparky pants and pom poms in the cupbaord all dusted off ready for the PMA gathering......It's going to work this time can you feel it? I don't think i have mastered the spirit fingers though so may need some private tuition from Demitrio...Ok Speak to you soon from Walshy

[Jen1d]

Hi Walshy

My scan was cancelled so have scan on Fri 17th then will start stimming.

Sorry not sure about the tablet thing. Think it's best to let AF come naturally but take advice from your clinic.

Can't believe your going on another holiday. As we have to self-fund ivf until we get to the top of the list and house hunting we will be 50 before the next holiday, ooohhhhhhhhhh i want the sun. Steph and Little R please send it to me.

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Buenos dias 'Bers

Jen I'm glad your cycle seems to be Capitano Speedmeister - you always sound really chipper lately acupuncture working a treat my love. Stimms soon then it'll really fly towards the B.F.P woo hoooo!

Walsheroo - I agree with Jen, another holiday?? Well, you're worth it. I see you're also angling for a wee visit from young Demetrio, newly buff after a few days on the electricity bike? OK! I'll send him over - he'll look even more dashing with a tan. Keep him away from anything with chocolate in the title sweetbean

Steph and her 100% bueno, fully paid up member of the elite egg corps - how doooos? Glad its so hot for you, mundo bizarro! Get out your 'kini! It's freezing here which is getting really old. Where is your AF?? I'll send Vaughn on a mission to locate and secure it, tout tout.

Little R I absolutely forbid you to go on another holiday!! I miss the soap updates and that. Come back (trying Stephs trick)

Well I haven't posted as I am a bumper bag of gloom. This cycle is r..e..a...ll..ll..y... d...r..a..g..g...i..n..g. ARGH! Since starting los patches have developed abdo pain. Self diagnosed me as having a uti and am now on anitbiotics but have a niggling doubt.. I have never had a uti before. I've rung hosp but no docs around (classic!) so they promised to ring back....still waiting.... So whats the diagnosis ladies? Pre Transfer Paranoia? Madness? Fulminant infection of Endometrium that will result in death? I had the wierdest dream - I dreamt that Al Qaida blew up an ivf clinic and the SMSed me to tell me that I was evil and had 2 days to stop ivf. Hmmmm, chin strokey therapist, what you make o that for £50 an hour?
I also CANNOT STUDY. I have zip didley motivation and I'm feeling really emotional today (EVIL HORMONES) and all sorry for myself, get over it Jones you spineless dolt! I'm stuck in Doom Library, the leather tomes mock me! The textbooks snigger at my idiocy! H-E-L-P M-E ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I off back to my books, todays subject is lung disease, the quagmire of hope.........

Love as bounteous as chocolate in the Mars factory in Slough

Lola Lameass
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Well, Well my little long island lolitas! How nice to have you all round- except my beloved Little R- miss ya luv!

That ugly, nasty b*tch has still not shown her true self! Why must I be tortured with a late visit from AF? So, it is day 34. I am officially 8 days later than usual. It is driving me mad, absolute crazy-mad. My DH only makes matters worse by repeating to himself and me that I am not going to get it....... I absolutely refuse to listen to such bunk! It is, however, really starting to stress me out. You know the game.... you are late, you have been late before and it is never for the reason you want to be late. 90% of your brain is convinced that you will get it, yet the other 10% constantly sneaks a peek and reminds you that crazy things do happen. Then you stop yourself for even thinking such craziness, because it will only make it hard when Crazy B*tch (as I like to call her) does show, because she ALWAYS does!!! Why must we play this game? I know I could put myself out of my misery very quickly by takin a wee on a stick, but I promised myself that I wouldn't do that EVER again, until the doc tells me I am pregnant and I do it just to see what a possy looks like.
So the dilemma luved-ones is..... to pee or not to pee- that is the question?

Lola-Lewy, Oh-Oh, we gotta go.....
Hows my schmuffin fresh from the oven? Buck Up Girlfriend, don't let the nasty-mones get you down! You are so very close to having your precious-ees back in the lovin arms of Lola Utero... I see the home stretch and you are near! Although, I can't believe you are trying to study right now.. yowza-bee. There is no way I could concentrate. Luck wit dat! As far as UTI- you are a mess. I think the magi bubble should be brought back to Lola- who has it? Send to Lola girl immediately!

Walshy- another trip around the globe heh? Jealousy!!! Would love to go on a sabatical from life right now. Just me, DH and my pals Margarita and Smut Novel. A far as the forcing a cycle- sorry can't help you there noodle. My cycles are so short we work to make them longer! Wish I had so advice for ya.. but alas no.

Little R- have a check and fill us in!

Off to talk turtle! (literally)
Steph

Jen... our very own mellow yellow! I think the rest of us need to go the way of the jens and go for the needles. What do they put in those things? Your stimming will beginning soon! Yoo-hoo Cowgirl! By the way- the sun is on its way over to ya. Back to 40's here! More likey!

[lolajones]

Steph... maybe you should do a test?? I am the little devil on your shoulder mwa ha haaaaaaahh You never do know....
How was turtle talk?
You are right I am a mess. I never used to get ill, ever but since hitting the big 3.5. downhill express, tooottt toooott. I yearn for the bubble! As for the study I have no choice, should have sat the exam Jan but didn't due to post ectopic doldrums. I can't concentrate at all and am currently odds on for failing the evil things. Hey ho, priorities eh?

Well hosp rang back eventually and que waste of time. She was all, I don't know but you're probably right. So, no reassurance available from Dr Doh. Will wait until scan (to find out I have fulminant endometrial death causing disease).

Please don't make me go back to my books!!! Please!!!! I promise to be good!!!

A demain mes petites lovers

Lola
xxxx