February Has My Heart - February Cycle Buddies Wanted

[pep23]

Congrats Shantala!!!! I knew you'd get a great report!!! So excited for you sweetie!!!!!!

XO
Steph

[CarolynB]

Shantala - so pleased for you hun. 5 ferts is fanastic. They ust be really great quality

Sorry to rain down on you. I am just so gutted. Embryologist saw us this morning. He said that none of our 5 fighters had made it to blast. 3 had stopped completely and so were no good. 2 showed a little activity but he basically said that our chances of success just plummeted. I was ready to walk out but could not give up on the slim slither of hope. I could not even speak. We asked if they were worth putting back and he said that there was nothing to lose but he could not hold out much hope for us.

So had 2 transfered back through a sea of tears. More tears with my acu sweetie.

This sucks for all of us. Why does it have to be so bloody dam hard. I amd not sure how much more of this I can take right now.

I am sure that I shall pick up the pieces again as we all seem to. What else is there to do

it is so cruel. I cannot even look at my dh as I feel like I let him down so badly. What can I do to make this work for us.

Sorry to be a bummer but I am falling apart.

Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[WISCONSINGAL]

CAROLYN: PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP HOPE, I'VE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT.......OUR 1ST IVF ATTEMPT NONE OF OUR 12 FERTILIZED, SO WE DID THE FLARE PROTOCAL, ACU, AND WE HAD 2 (4) CELL PUT BACK AND 2 FROZE. DIFFERENT THINGS HAPPEN WITH DIFFERENT MEDS.....I'M PRAYING HARD FOR YOUR EMBIES TO BE LITTLE FIGHTERS AND PULL THROUGH! HUGS & PRAYERS TO YOU & YOUR DH!

CONGRATS SHANTALA AND I HOPE YOUR 2WW FLIES BY AND BRINGS THIS BOARD ANOTHER STRONG BFP!

HANG IN THERE LADIES!

[lara312]

Carolyn this is so shit i really hope that your 2 are little fighters comon stay with mummy i will be thinking and praying for them sending huge hugs i know what you mean about letting dh down but its something thats not in our control sending sticky vibes to you i'm sure that they will be getting aquainted with thier new home and will want to stay there.

Shantala thats excellent fert rate so very pleased for you good luck with et in a couple of days them babies will soon be home they belong and snuggling for the next 8 months .

love Rachel x x

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Just got back from work and have been trying to catch up with all the posts.

Carolyn - You hang in there honey, remember it only takes one good embie to be a fighter. I know what you mean about having strength to go on with ivf and the feelings us girls have about letting our dh's down but remember its not your fault your infertile and your dh loves you for you and not because he wants children. We have to fight this crap hand we have been dealt and keep moving forward, i know its hard though but please stay positive, its not over---come on smile a bit for me

Shantala - Good luck with ET, five little fighters is great.

Nerms - Hope your lining is skinny, girl and you can start stimming away

Steph - Your not alone when it comes to doing the injections by yourself. I tried once on my 2nd cycle and nearly fainted---see, i am definately the biggest wimp on the site

My injections are going ok so far and i have the mixing down to a tee Am just praying that the follies grow and we see good things on Friday at my scan as i never really feel anything growing. Hopefully with different medi this time i might get better success, who knows

Hi to everyone else, will pop in tomorrow

Love Jen x

[shantala]

hi everyone

thank you all for your lovely support!!

carolyn - this bloody sucks. i can only imagine how gutted you must be, we go through all this emotionally, physically and financially so at least fate could be on our side. i completely understand how sometimes you think you just wanna give up and i felt like that yesterday as i was convinced none would make it. but i read some of the success stories on here and they really made me feel better. you'll find that its often the not-so-straight-forward embies (the little buggers basically) that are the fighters and bring you a BFP. i dont know much about blasts but could it be that they just didnt like it outside their mommy?? maybe now they're back they are just where they want to be and are meant to be. keep up the faith...i'll be thinking and praying for you every day until your test. lots of love. xxx

xxx

[Jen1d]

Girls i thought i would trail through the old threads and find something i wrote in March 2006 to help keep us all positive. When i was going for a scan the nurse informed me of this story. Here it is---

A woman aged 40 years old, had problems all the way through her ivf cycles. Was now going through her 5th cycle with yet more problems and did not respond to the drugs. She eventually only got one egg from her follicles, which was not the greatest quality but it did fertilize. The nurses were sure every step of the way that the cycle would be abandoned and after putting the one embryo back they thought it would turn out to be a poor result, but yes, you guessed it -------BFP

So there is hope for us all. It is not the quantity that count or maybe even the quality at times. Just one embie will work with lots of luck and a help from mother nature.

Good luck girls and stay positive, we will get our bundles of joy one day .

Love Jen x

[LauraLou]

Carolyn,

I am so sorry. What terrible news. I can imagine how devasted you are.

I know it doesn't look good now, but remember I had something similar happen. I cried and cried at my transfer when they told me I had two "D" and one "F" embryos put back in. I was so sure it was a lost cause, as it didn't work the first try when I had 2 "B" embryos.

Remember, one of those D's or the F split, implanted and I now I'm 25 weeks pregnant with twins, so you know miracles do happen.

I'll be thinking of you and your two little embies.

Laura

[AuntyPebbles]

Oh Carolyn i dont even know what to say right now i do know how you feel and im praying with all my heart for a blessing for you, amazing things can and do happen with our little embies maybe yours just needed to be home with you...i will pray for you so hard

I'm here if you need to talk anytime...loads of love and prayers Aunty

[wannababyIVF]

pep23—I totally feel your pain about doing the shots myself. I did it once myself when DH was away and totally screwed it up. It’s nice you have your mom to help you out. Don’t worry about the trigger. It’ll be a piece of cake. Wish I would have known about the heating pad when I was stimming.

wisconsingal—I have been looking all over for your post. I’m so happy to hear that everything is going well. I was so worried. Those stupid doctors need a kick in the rear for making you worry like that. Don’t they know you are pregnant and don’t need the extra stress!

Momtojazzie—Stay away from the evil HPT. They are no good for you. Hope you are relaxing. Not long now.

REACH—congrats on starting to shoot up.

Shantala—That is so awesome! I’m sitting here about to cry with you! You only had 5 but you have 5 strong little ones! They are determined!!

Carolyn—I am so sorry sweetie. I know you are so hurt right now and there is nothing I can say to take your pain away. But please! Please, do not give up hope. You may just have two little fighters on your hands. You have to stay strong and stay positive for them. Don’t give up hope yet sweetie. It’s not over yet. If you need to talk or vent, or scream or whatever…you know where to find us.

jen—Good Luck with your scan. Hope your little ones are growing nicely.

LauraLous—Wow, great story! That’s wonderful. Congratulations!

nerms—Good luck with your scan and stimming, remember if it hurts, ice first and heat later.

Hello to everyone else. Sorry if I missed anyone.

Going for my second beta tomorrow. Praying that my numbers are rising to where they should be. I am also going to ask RE if he can make sure the embies are in my uterus and not in my tubes. I think I am just paranoid and want everything to go okay. I’m really nervous. I know I’m still early and anything can happen. I just pray every day that I can have a healthy pregnancy and carry this baby (or babies) to full term. I’m just trying to relax and not stress out and take it day by day.

So ladies, I know you don’t want to hear this but…the worrying doesn’t stop after the BFP. At least for me it hasn’t.

Baby Dust and Love to you all.

[mominwaiting]

Bless your heart Carolyn, Hun you need to try as hard as you can to have PMA, let those little embies feel the positive vibes coming from you!! As we will all be praying and hoping for you. Don't give up sweetie you can never tell what will happen, just keep the faith!!!!

[REACH-AEJ]

Carolyn ~ please do hang in there. I'm reading all of the encouraging words everyone has written and there is such strength and truth there. Don't start this 2WW by giving up on your little guys so soon.
My first IVF - like Wiggal - I had 6 eggs and none fertilized with ICSI . NONE! I was absolutely devasted as you are now. I thought it was over...but, somehow picked up the pieces and had absolutely great success (fert only) the next go round. It's unexplained - just happens. I'm on my 3rd try and know how you feel it terms of feeling like you can't go on...it really sucks that we have to endure this. I am sending all of my PMA your way with tons of prayers. Stay strong.

To add to the positive stories...my best friend did IVF and had 3 eggs fertilize and they only made it to day 3 (a 6 cell and two 4 cells)...the cells had quit dividing and embryologist made the call to put them or lose them..they put in all 3 (not orginally planned) because it was not hopeful.
She now has 5 yr old triplets! so...hang in there sweetie!

Shantala ~ great news! I know you were worried, but how exciting!! Good luck on your ET!

To everyone - hope things are going smoothly and I know a lot of you are getting close. Lots of prayers for success.

As for me, I started my estrogen patch today and forgot how sick it makes me. I feel like I'm on a boat - sea sick- and can't get off. Wonderful side effect. Hope to start stims by Monday.

[nerms]

Hi girls....

Carolyn...i was gutted to read your post...i can't believe how everything can turn around in such a short time...this just doesn't seem fair! But i do believe that your embies are back where they belong inside their mummy and i pray pray pray that they will hang in there and grow strong....what's happened has happened and i know yest everything seemed so positive, today is a let down but you know there is still hope and unfortunately that's all us IVF girls have to hold onto...hope...so please hold onto it tight and don't let go....it's not over yet...i hope that soon you can see past the sadness and the feeling of being let down and send lots of PMA to your little ones...they need your positive hope....i really hope this works out...praying hard. Big (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) to you.

Steph..good luck for your follie scan tmw....hope they are all growing well..i've been started on 150 too so will be interested to hear how it goes!

Shantala...what did i say girl...maybe all 5! Wow! that is great news and i'm really pleased for you..hope they are growing strong....good luck for thursday!

Jen...glad you hear you've mastered the mixing!!! What a lovely story!

Wanna...good luck for your beta tmw...i'm sure everything will be fine...but i can so understand the worrying It's worry while you're trying to concieve, once you've concieved, during the pregnancy, while they are growing up, when they stay out too late etc etc...welcome to parenthood!!

Today i went for my scan and i'm pleased to say that lining is nice and thin and no cyst so i started stimming today....nurse made me do it infront of her and i didn't really get an opportunity to procrastinate..had to just stick the needle in me...wow..was a bit shicked to start with but actually wasn't that bad...did sting a bit but gotta think of the bigger picture right!!!

Good night girls and to my follies.....off you go start growing!!

Nerms
xx

[Angie65]

Oh carolyn - am sorry you feel sad - but there are such great stories of hope from the girls there - that is all we can hold on to at this stage. It is such a lottery and who knows how it will turn out - I almost feel it is like a roll of a dice. I've also had sh*t news today - I am now "under stimulating" - only have 2 follies of decent size and a bunch of ones which aren't growing - so dose has been increased again - scan on Sat - I am so over it.

I will stop now before I bring you all down with me - sorry.

Shantala - well done you ! 5 out of 5 - yay!

[AuntyPebbles]

Oh Angie that sucks it really does ...i know it must be hard right now but i was told on my second ivf that we only had a couple of follies that may contain eggs i was gutted too went in thinking we would maybe get 2-4 we got 11 so you never know i will be praying hard by saturday yours have jumped ahead...come on follies grow

loads of love in my thoughts and prayers Aunty