AUG/SEPT BUDDIES!

[valerie68]

Kate: How are you? we haven't heard from you in a little while. You're down regging already. Hope you're feeling well.
Will you be visiting Sweden while you're there? I would imagine so...probably a beautiful place...I've never been there. Hopefully one day !
What meds are you taking for your stims? Are they the same like your previous cycle?

Let us know how you are.

Baby dust ...

Val

[karenvancouverisland]

hi jdc, hopinginpa and valerie:

thanks so much for your words.. i woke up feeling sad and alone (again), and read your posts...and it helps. it helps alot. so i'm grateful i've found you. so i'm going to try to have a good day- let go of my angry and self pity; try to reconnect with HOPE.

any advice on this- i haven't talked to my pregnant friend in months..since before we both became pregnant. (i saw her u/s pic's on facebook). we are both avoiding each other, and although i don't want to talk to her, i know i should. we've been really tight over the years. when i think about continually ignoring her, and then something happening like getting invited to the baby shower. i feel sick. i don't know what to do.... this all really sucks, and i felt for you with having siblings having babies. fortunately my neices and nephews are older, and the jealousy for me is minimal.

wishing you all a great day and thanks again for reaching out. karen

[valerie68]

Good morning ladies...one day less on our path to a BFP !! And it's a gorgeous day and enjoying it all.

Karen: I understand your dilemma with your pregnant girlfriend and how much it tugs at your heart. We all feel it I think, but having a miscarriage makes it that much harder.
Does she know you were pregnant and lost the baby? If so, I think the best might be to let her know that even though you're really happy for her, it's very hard for you to handle it, handle the fact that she's pregnant and you're not. The best might be to express those feelings to her and if you are that tight, she will understand. As far as the baby shower, I'm not sure what I would do...it would depend on how I feel emotionally at that moment. In this case, it might be a good thing to be selfish and not go if it is going to upset you that much. You have to feel what is best for you as you are still rebuilding yourself emotionally and physically.
I would go if I felt strong and not go if I was going to fall apart during the shower. It is a happy event for the mother to be and should stay that way and I would not want to be shedding tears during that party.
This is a really hard subject because I feel bad for having these jealous feelings towards other pregnant women, I feel angry in a way but mostly very sad. Those feelings are some of the toughest to handle for me, and sometimes the hardest to admit to. But they are there and the right thing to do is to face them.
The weird part is that I feel sooo happy when one of us gets pregnant, I really get emotional because I know how tough a road it has been for all of us...so why don't I feel the same for the other women that get pregnant naturally? I've searched inside for a while and have not found the answer.
I also feel very sad when there's a problem with one of us because I feel your pains as well.
Your girlfriend could be an amazing support for you when you get your next BFP and keeping in touch with her could be wonderful. If you don't feel comfortable talking to her, you could write her a letter and express yourself that way. For very emotional things, I've resorted to writing ...it enables you to let your heart speak. I cry easy and would not be able to talk and say what I really want to say, so that works for me.

I hope you're feeling better and that you let go of the self pity because that only makes you feel worse. Try to concentrate on the positive ...I know it's hard but you will get there.

Hope you are all having a fabulous Sunday !! Have fun girls !!!!

Valerie

[JDC]

Valerie 68: I had one failed cycle so far and my meds were follistim, low dose hcg, cetrotide,ovidrel and ganirelix. My RE says he wants to use follistim again.....I was hoping to change but I will trust him. Only one of my ovaries produced any follies which was frustrating.

Hoping: You gotta stay with us! So, your a little ahead..I think a few of us are ahead of where we expected to be at this point.


Karen: I coudn't have said it any better than Valerie...I also believe the best course is to be honest with your friend about how you feel. Because you are true friends, I believe it will work itself out after that. Writing a letter is a wonderful suggestion because that way you are able to fully express yourself without interuption.

Everyone else...hope you are enjoying your weekend!

I got AF today, which I am happy about because it is one step closer BFP like Valerie said. Anyway, I'm not feeling as miserable and crampy as I usually do at this point. Also, my PMS was so much less severe than normal. I think it is because of the ap and herbs.

[karenvancouverisland]

hi valerie and jdc. thanks for your messages.

i got the courage and sent my friend an email (i know, tacky compared to a letter, but i needed to just get it done). i feel better, i bawled while i did it.

it is so weird that i'd love any other woman with fertility issues to get pregnant and would celebrate that like it was my own. i totally feel all the grief, sadness, hope and excitement of anyone else on here...but when it comes to 'normal' people, i'm so bitter! and i'm not a bitter person. i'm discovering a whole side of myself that i don't really like. - jealous, resentful, poor-me, angry, and occasionally a catatonic zombie. i feel sorry for my husband some days.

anyways, i've been doing 'gardening-therapy' today, and it's been good. i'm feeling a bit more excited about september now!

thanks for all the support. i'm in a small city and there's no fertility support groups here to attend. so i'm grateful to connect with you both and anyone else out there from across the miles. karen

[SueQiwi]

welcome to you Karen. My heart goes out to you after your horrible experience. I was devastated after my failed IVF cycle--I can't even imagine what you are goin through after a MC at 12 weeks! Please be good to yourself right now and start to think happy thoughts about a baby in your future. You know that your body can do it--you have crossed so many hurdles by actually getting pregnant (even though it ended tragically). You will get pregnant again.

Sorry for being sappy--but thought I'd share some inspirational quotes with you strong, infertility-fighting women! :

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you have patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself? --Lao Tzu

"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.' 'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'" -- Lewis Carroll, Alice In Wonderland

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.--Dale Carnegie

Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.--Jane Rubietta

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising after the fall. --Confucious

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. --Robert C. Gallagher

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. --Hellen Keller

To succeed... you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you. --Tony Dorsett

Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you're going to do now - and do it. --William Durant

[karenvancouverisland]

thanks sue, and i liked the 'sap', especially the lao tzu quote...needed to hear that. all the best, karen

[Kate21]

Hi Girls,

Sorry I've been MIA, managed to get myself a nice cold along with my hayfever and have been feeling a bit worse for wear!!

Karen - I know what you mean about talking to your pregnant friend and how you feel. I work in a very close department (we're friends as well as colleagues) and after having a miscarriage last September (after try #6) I was sat in our office when one of the girls walked in and announced she was having a baby! It totally knocked me for 6 as it wasn't expected (normally I prepare myself). Anyway I had to walk out of the office, after mumbling a congratulations and had to cry! She had only been trying for one mth but had no idea about my tmt's.

Basically I had to accept that there will always be people getting pregnant around me, some will be in my face and others I can kind of ignore. I decided that I can hide away or I can face the world and move on. Don't get me wrong I certainly do cry (normally to DH) but it is only for a day and then I think right enough, my time will come and I will be a better mum for it! I'm sure your friend will understand and life does get easier, you will get pregnant the timing is just abit dodgy at the moment!!

Valerie - my drugs are a little different to you guys. I am sniffing suprecur 4 times a day to down - reg and then I will start stimming on Puregon for 11 days while continuing sniffing but only for 2 sprays a day. The clinic in Sweden shuts down for July and part of August hence the long tmt cycle. Never been on a tmt for so long before but hopefully my response will be just as good as previous ones, always had about 12 eggs with about 8 fertilising and the majority of those going to blast stage! Yes we will visit while we are out there as we are hiring a car - I've heard it is meant to be gorgeous!

Hoping - stick with us and start the ball rolling on the BFP's!

JHarris, Coco, Rinnie - how are you guys? Still sticking with the AP? I'm back to mine tonight, I really look forward to it - helps me to relax.

As for me generally I only have 4 weeks left of work before my school breaks up for the summer - can't wait!! It seems to be the summer for weddings - I got my 3rd wedding invite this weekend for a girl I used to teach!! Scarey! She has just qualified as a PE teacher and has bought a house etc - how old does that make me feel?...I remember her starting school at 11!!

Anyway, enjoy your day ladies - miracles do happen because the UK finally has sunshine!!

Catch you later

Kate

[jharris12]

Good morning ladies. Sorry I was MIA this weekend. Me and the DH had a pretty relaxed weekend. We went to his parent's 30th wedding anniversary party Friday, and that is about all we did the whole weekend!! We decided we were due a "lazy weekend"! Made it kinda hard to get up and come to work this morning though!! Other than that, nothing much going on. Waiting for my RE appt June 30 to maek sure we have the go ahead with the RE, and then just wait for AF beginning early July! I will catch up with personals a little later. Just wanted you ladies to know I'm still here. Now I need to get a little work done, then I will check on you a little later!

[cocosmomma]

Good morning! I was out of town this weekend taking it easy. I think I read all the pages I was missing and am caught up. But I'll do just a few personals.

Karen: You are a strong woman. I am so very sorry for your loss. I second everything everyone has said. Take it easy on yourself. No need to Superwoman now. Heal and then reengage. Do whatever you need to do. Welcome, by the way. We are so glad you've joined us.

Hoping: Stay with us. Your BFP will give us all something to celebrate!

I had AP on Friday and everything went well. She said I was good to go and prescribed lots of great sex. Well if she insists... This is a lot better way to pass the time before I start my estrogen patches in September!

I'll check in later with everyone. Have a great day!

[valerie68]

Good evening ladies !!

SueQiwi: thanks for all the wonderful quotes...getting sappy is a good thing too!!
On the April thread, someone had posted a quote that I love..jharris might remember!
PEACE
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
As we all seem to have so much on our minds, this can be very helpful. When I feel chaos in my life, I now think about this quote that brings me back to my own center where I do manage to find peace...it's a really wonderful feeling !

jharris: Glad you had a relaxing weekend and celebrating the 30th anniversary...sounds like lots of fun. I can't wait for you to get your official green light ! You'll get, no problem.

Coco:You had a relaxing weekend as well...it's nice to be able to get away. Glad AP is still very relaxing...and don't let him twist your arm about having lots of great sex...you may not need ivf after all!

Karen: How are you feeling tonight? Maybe you can find that peace within yourself, finding that calm place in your heart.

Hoping: How are you doing? Haven't heard from you!

Kate:Interesting protocol that you have and so different from ours. It makes learning about ivf that much more interesting !
I bet you'll have fun visiting Sweden!

JDC: YEAH for AF visiting ! Yes, one step closer to a BFP. Is AP going well for you too? How do you like those herbs? I'm not taking them, I'm not sure why. Probably because I don't know enough about it and I feel AP will work.

Rinnie: I hope all is well for you too. I'd love to hear from you. I'm cooking mangoes and think about you. I mix mangoes, raisins, dried blueberries, cherries, cranberries and lemon juice with atouch of sugar and I cook it for 1 1/2 hrs. It's delicious. I usually don't put the dried blueberries, cherries and cranberries but it sounded good so I added them.

As for me, one day at a time. Tomorrow I have AP which I'm sooo looking forward to.

Have a great evening girls and much love to all !

Valerie

[JDC]

SueQiwi thank you for the quotes....I especially like the one by Dale Carnegie.

Has anyone else taken cetrotide? I took it last cycle, and I found out today they will be replacing it with estrace next cycle. Apparently they are finding at my clinic that it is shortening women's peiod cycles and they aren't doing as well as expected. Well, now I'm just waiting for day 21 of this cycle to go in for b/w which will be July 12.

I can't explain it, but I feel so positive about this upcoming cycle. It's weird because before my first cycle, I just kept telling myself that it may not work the first time, blah blah......But now, even after the "poor prognosis" crap my RE told me, I just feel so positive! During my AP sessions I've been trying some visualization stuff - like trying to imagine that my eggs are becoming fully nourished.



Rinnie: How is AP going for you? I hope all is well


Karen: Any response from your friend regarding your email to her?

Coco, JHarris, Hoping, Valerie, Kate: Hope all is well. Another week has begun and we are that much closer to BFP's!

[karenvancouverisland]

hi ladies! this is so awesome. i'm so glad i joined this thread- i feel like i have a support group now!! thanks for all the welcomes. so i haven't heard back from my friend yet re the email yet, and that's ok.. i've learned that sharing news such as mine often temporarily 'stuns' people into silence. but i sure feel a whole lot better. i'm sure i'll hear from her soon, and i'm so glad i did it as it's no longer renting space in my head. i can't believe there's any space left for anything!! IF is consuming at the best of times.

jdc- i took cetrotide last time, it was only for 2 days after heavy doses of gonal f (225 ui 2xday). i took luveris along with cetrotide. this is the same concoction they plan to use with me in september (a day 3 start after AF, no suppression), as even as a 'low responder', i had the best results with this (i did get pregnant afterall!!). i only produced 2 large follies. with my first IVF cycle with repronex and bravelle- i had NOTHING. that was a shock. i was by myself as i thought the appt was 'no big deal'. then i was stuck in this big city, alone, calling my husband cause i was too upset to figure out how to catch the bus home. yuck!

i also strangely feel positive about my upcoming cycle. i'm meeting with my obgyn in 2 days, he's been consulting with the fertility clinic...we're booking my hysteroscopy to clear my health for another ivf.

anyways, wishing everyone a wonderful night!! (it's evening here in canada as i write) karen.

[valerie68]

Karen: I'm so glad you're feeling better ! Writing has that magical ability of lifting heavy weights off our hearts. I know your friend will answer you or call you, but the lines of communications will be open and hopefully bring you even closer.

I'm glad you feel like you have a support group, that's what we're all about !
I enjoy it immensely as well and I firmly believe it increases our chances of having more BFP...all that positive energy going around is the best. Believing we can do it is very powerful and we need to use that energy!

I also feel very good about this upcoming cycle, I don't say if I get pregnant...I've banished the 'IF' from my vocabulary and I say 'WHEN'...when I get pregnant on this next cycle...

So, WHEN we get pregnant on our next cycle, we can all celebrate together !!

I'm keeping tabs on who used Bravelle and Repronex or Menopur and a lot of you did not have a lot of follies when on that. Makes me wonder.
I should ask Ghost about Bravelle and Menopur and see what he thinks.
My RE plans to use the same drugs again...maybe a change would be good.

Valerie

[karenvancouverisland]

hi all, i'm following suite on sue's 'sappy' quote sharing the other day (you inspired me sue!). here's some of my faves:

have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. god is awake. - victor hugo

do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. check your road and the nature of your battle. the world you desired can be won. it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is your. - ayn rand.

we do not receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take us or spare us.- marcel proust

if i am not for myself, then who will be for me? if i am not for others, what am i? if not now, when? - rabbi hillel

dreams are renewable, no matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. -dale turner

and some from the dictionary:

grace: the influence or spirit of god operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.

miracle: a marvel, a wonder, an act considered a work of god

hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. to believe, desire, trust.

determination: firmness of purpose.

well....that's all for now! karen