IVF over 40 Buddy Group........Membership Drive

[Suzanne18]

bonnie... wow, Joni, what a great story... are you a writer?... you ought to be... I was so engrossed - felt like I was reading a short story - an interesting, well-written short story... it was heartwarming and I'm repeatedly impressed by the wonderful relationships that many of the women on the board enjoy... and re: the DE situation, I think it's a terrific route for many women, particularly in a situation like your own... I know that a friend mentioned it was the only route for them because they had infertility coverage (through insurance), and they did NOT have the money for an adoption... so it's great that both options are available to all of us and God seems to provide a way for one or more to work out... lots of luck... p.s. why don't you include your adopted child in your profile... it says "no children" for you... we certainly know that isn't the case... you're a mom!

[missygirl]

Sharon.....wait to see what your FSH is......I only had 6 follicles but because my FSH was only 7, that meant I would probably respond to drugs and more follicles would grow (if you are closer to 20, that is not good). My count went up to 8 and I think I've told you the rest of the story....hang in there and just wait to see what the FSH is and what your Dr. says....

Joni....that is an amazing story....I love your new DH!! I'll be praying for you!

Missy

[bonnie]

good point Suzanne and thank you! I of all people know that "mom" is often more a calling than a function of biology. shame on me for not putting that on my profile...i was so narrow in thinking only of IVF pertaining this list...how ridiculous when we are all women with many facets and diverse experiences. We are not defined by our infertility.

Tammy, what a miraculous story, thank you for sharing that. I for one am a sucker for a Chinese girl!! I am very close to Shaohannah's Hope, Stephen Curtis Chapman's adoption ministry, I ALWAYS thought I would adopt from China--and maybe I will someday.

btw, I am such a dork--I did that HPT this morning day 4 days after my ET (day 5 blastocysts). I actually laughed when it was negative because I was so aware of what a silly thing it was to do. that temptation is so strong for me--it just defies logic! the question is how many more will i do before my blood test on Thursday? my guess is more than one;)

btw, please correct my terminology if I get it wrong...I am so green at this and I am so grateful to be among such a wealth of knowledge and experience.

peaceful in the waiting room for now, bonnie

[bonnie]

Kat and All,
isn't it incredible how fickle our emotions can be? I for one have had times that I was absolutely certain that I was pregnant. but I wasn't...visa versa. When I first did this transfer last Tuesday (seems like last year right now) I was so acutely aware of those embryos inside of me. I think in part because my doc showed them to me on US (tiny dots)--and I for one am very visual. SO that whole day I could think of nothing but those blastocysts in my womb. As the days have passed I have actually had moments (ok seconds;) where I have forgotten them. I don’t "feel" pregnant right now. I know from seeing my baby's heartbeat on the US monitor in the past--It made my pregnancy feel real. emotions are fickle.

I volunteer at our local "crisis pregnancy center" and one of my jobs is to be with a young lady when she has her first ultrasound (on her first visit). We very gently lay out ALL of the choices including abortion, but when they see that little heartbeat--90% choose to keep their baby and either adopt it out to a loving home or raise it with the help of community and family.

Point is (not meant to be controversial I assure you) that we are SO visual AND we are fast forgetters! For me personally, it isn't having faith in a BFP that I seek--but having faith I can trust that whatever happens--it will work together for good--even when I SO do not understand. I am PRAYING HARD for BFP for us all

Last point, as my DH and I have not decided if we will tell our child that they were conceived with a DE--I have gotten my name "confused" on my postings. I am glad to say that I am the world's worst liar--so I forgot what my name was. With the consideration of my future child--I think I will try to consistently be BONNIE (I'll probably forget again ). I suppose it is a lot to take on for this post--but does anyone have any thoughts on pros and cons of telling vs. not telling them? This is obviously a very personal decision for us all--but even for IVF using your own eggs--do any of you have qualms about telling your children? My thought on the DE issue is that it would be too much for a person to have to deal with--almost unkind to tell them (my clinic is "closed" so there would never be a chance I could introduce them). If this topic is "too much" for us to deal with here--please just ignore my post.

In the blood test waiting room, BONNIE

[lynniecat]

Hey Guys, been out of commission, but I am back. I need to read through all the posts so I can respond to individuals!

Here is my update!


I am still waiting for my results. This is awful. I remember the counselor saying she was putting off calling me before with the bad news, now I keep thinking maybe she knows its bad and is dreading calling me. Of course that would be very unprofessional as I need to know asap. Before it was clearly a result that needed follow up, but now its a result that could tell me if the baby will make it or not.

They did tell me a couple more things at the amnio.

First they said the lab told them that for my particular case, there is a 3 percent chance its in the baby. Its lower because this extra chromosome is huge and since I am still pregnant and have not miscarried, its less likely the baby had it. Also they said that if this chromosomal error happened before the placenta and fetus parted ways I would still have a good chance (if it happened after that, then its just in the placenta). The reason why is this. When the embryo is 32 cells, something like 29 of them go on to make the supporting material like the placenta and only 3 go to make the baby. So one or more of those three would have to be carrying the mutation. Also Ghost said that there is theory that the embyro picks the good ones for the fetus and the bad cells go to the placenta if there are any...the theory is in debate. Let's hope its true.

Anyway its been 10 days and they said 7 to 10 days, but also they said on the information sheet that it could be up to 2 weeks.

I am a nervous wreck. If its good news, then I still have to follow with lots of ultrasounds since the problem in the placenta can cause the baby to develop more slowly if the placenta is not functioning at 100 percent. They would have to watch for that and then give me steroids and or a special diet to help the baby grow. He said its like if you never remove the dryer lint, the clothes still dry, but at a much slower rate. But that might not even happen, just need to watch.
Oh and I think the UCSF prenatal diagnostic division is really good and the genetic counselor I spoke with there seemed to know a lot more than the one where I did my tests ( I like the doctor a lot there, but not the staff so much)! UCSF should be great, I hope. I have my 18 week u/s scheduled and she said if I get bad news, they can do one earlier if I want to keep looking for issues...but she also said if there is banding on this marker chromosome its bad, but that we really need to know its origin! All for now. I hope I have great news in a few days!

[Liam'sMommy]

Hey, everybody. Sorry, i only have a minute but i had to respond to Lynnie.

I, am so optimistic. That makes perfect sense. With the size of the chromosome, if the baby had it would not have made it this far. What a blessing.

I was told 10-14 days and mine came back a little later than that. So i really think they just don't have them yet. Plus, it is the weekend so you know what that means.

I am so happy for you. I can't wait for the final results. My prayers are with you and the little one.

[Sisi1]

Linnie Just wanted to pop in and offer you my support. That will be one greatly loved baby once it finally makes it's may into the world! I am wishing you all the best in the meantime but good news are coming your way, of that I am sure!

I had my baseline scan this morning, one cyst again, can't tell witch ovaries turn it is but decided o go for anyway this time because there are 11 resting follicles at this time and it's my highest number in the last year so I feel I must just let go of my anxiety and take this chance.

Still waiting for blood test results and confirmation that I am a go!
Will keep you posted....

Ok labs are in and it is confirmed I am a go!

E2 are 78 (/3.27 for us) =24!, quite low so it would appear that cyst is not producing E2 at this point, thank god!
FSH coming in at 4,7; I am happy about that


So this is it, I am starting stimms tonight!

[Liam'sMommy]

Sisi, that is great news!!!!! So you are on your way tonight. That is great. KUP. That is a great follie count. I would kill for that. I can' remember, did you estrogen prime this time? What was your protocol?

Thanks and good luck....grrrrrrrow follies, grow!!

[Sisi1]

Thanks Kelly,

No priming for me just plain old antagonistic without all the bells.....

I am happy with my follie count (my best one), better because of acupuncture I think but I know it means very little if my response remains low...... Wish it was Wednesday already, LOL

Sorry, not sure what KUP stand for?

[babyluv]

Hi ladies, I jumped on this thread just because I love reading your stories, but I wanted to respond to Bonnie.

DH and I have also been incredibly blessed through adoption. DS is 3, from Russia, DD is 1, from Kyrgyzstan (one of the former USSR countries in Central Asia). Both of my kids have Asian in them, DD looks almost full on Chinese (and IMHO the most gorgeous girl on the planet). We also have that desire for a bio kid which is why we are in our second IVF attempt, but wow, I really couldn't ask for me.

Anyway, I wanted to give my 2 cents regarding wheather or not to tell your child if you used donor eggs or not. This is a VERY personal decision, so this is just my thought. Personally, I would. I say this because there is a very good chance he/she may find out anyway (just like when a child is adopted and the parents don't tell them) and then there will be trust issues. As you know, filling out medical forms is hard for most adoptees...there is so much uncertainty. When your child (let's say it's a girl) has to fill out the forms, what will she say as far as health issues on the maternal side? If she believes she is your biological child, she will put down your family history, which will not necessarily match her genetically.

My two oldest brothers, along with my SIL, were all adopted and I have spoken with my SIL in depth about things like this (well, more about adoptees being able to know their history). We all have things in life we don't want to deal with, but we find our own ways to handle it. Your child may not like the fact that 1/2 her genes are not yours, but that's just the truth. There is nothing wrong with it, there's no shame in it, it's a beautiful thing and she will be 100% your daughter, hands down. But she needs to be able to be prepared for what comes her way in life. The more honest we are with our kids, the better off they will be. I know we think it would be easier to protect them, but the truth almost always comes out. It's very likely your child wouldn't even care...but you take more of a risk by not telling her.

Hope that made sense! Like I said, every family is so different and this is a very personal decision. Good luck and I hope you get your BFP!

[Liam'sMommy]

Where is everybody? It is a ghost town around here.

Bonnie, Kat, biddy how are you guys holding up? Bonnie, i am a sucker for little Asian girls too. They are too cute.

Lynnie, any news? How are you holding up with the wait?

babyluv, you made some good points. I would tell them when they are old enough to understand.

Santa, what is happening with you? Are you still bleeding? I sure hope thinks have settled down.

Missy, well the big day is almost here. I can't wait to for the results.

Renee, how is the packing going?

Tammy, i am sorry but i am a little confused. Have you started your Femara cycle? If so, how is it going?

Has anybody seen babygurlsalages, hopeful4baby or JeannieT?

A big hello to Sisi, Sharon, Suzanne, Hil, Kris, Sue, NY and everybody else i missed. I hope you are all doing ok.

[lynniecat]

I am going to scream. I called for the results and they are not in my chart so the receptionist says the genetic counselor probably has them...my GOD why has she not called me yet!??? I mean WTF...now I think its definitely bad news, cause if it was good news she would not be putting it off, she would obviously want to call right away right?

I really dislike this woman. She gives me incomplete and bad information and does not return my calls. She also acts like she is SO GOOD at her job, telling me she has been doing this for 12 years. Umm, then why does she not call me back and why does she not have the correct statistics and why did she give me bad information??????? I really can not believe the results are done and I am sitting there WAITING, knowing that I probably will not even get a call today. It took her days to call me last time and she admitted she was putting it off.

[bonnie]

hiya all!

I should confess that i POAS'd day 4, 5 and 6 (today was day 6) post 5 day 2 blast transfer with negative results. I haven't REALLY expected a bfp--maybe a teeny little faint one? not yet. too soon i hope. But it does give me something to look forward to each day in a twisted kind of way.

My blood test is this thurs at 9:30 am. they said it would take 3 hours for the result. i should be a basket case that day. i would love a bfp on hpt before i get there so i dont have to anguish.

i appreciated the comments about telling them vs not telling them. i will take them to heart. I do think it is a bit different in cases of IVF ED than adoption or even surragacy....but since i adopted a 12 year old--it would have been hard to keep that a secret!

i hope i get to the next waiting room and that i like it better.

happy thoughts to all,
bonnie

[missygirl]

Lynnie cat...that is terrible!!!!! I would keep calling her and leaving messages until she calls you BACK!!! RUDE! Hang in there....

Yes, less than two days until my ultrasound....haven't had any bleeding for a few days so that is a nice...still a bit of spotting but very little!

Love to all,

Missy

[SueQiwi]

Santa~I hope all is well. We haven't heard from you and I am worried. But maybe youre just having fun on the slopes--hope so.

Lynnie~What torture! I hope you get your results some! That genetic counselor needs to be in counseling! ugh--she sounds horrible.

Bonnie, Kat, Biddy~Hope the 2ww is flying by for you all and you are not feeling crazy! Distract your selves and try to steer clear of Google. Hugs!

I think I was silly to think I would be stress-free after getting the BFP. I am surprised at how worried I still feel about each next hurdle! I have my third beta this Friday and then the long wait for the first ultrasound. I am praticularly scared about the ultrasound. I have read so many horrible stories about the blighted ovums--it is haunting me! I wish I could just chill out and relax--but my mind just races. (and I've had trouble staying away from Google myself!)