Thanks peeps. Much appriceiated!! (I think thats spelt wrong!! Hahahaha!!)
Donor Sperm Baby
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nicolamark
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1879
- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
- Location: Cambridge, UK
Donor Sperm Baby
Has anyone out there, had a baby by donor sperm. We are thinking of this route and I want to know how things are now the baby is born? Has it affected marriages? What do people say about it? How do you cope? How does DH cope?
Thanks peeps. Much appriceiated!! (I think thats spelt wrong!! Hahahaha!!)
Thanks peeps. Much appriceiated!! (I think thats spelt wrong!! Hahahaha!!)
IUI using donor in 2005
1st IVF cancelled OHSS 2006
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise 2009
3rd IVF successful 2010 pregnant Miscarried early
FET negative 2011
ADOPTED DAUGHTER 2014
1st IVF cancelled OHSS 2006
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise 2009
3rd IVF successful 2010 pregnant Miscarried early
FET negative 2011
ADOPTED DAUGHTER 2014
HI there
Well - this is a topic I could talk forever about.
We REALLY REALLY thought (and one day still might have to ) considered DI but in the end we got lucky (so far) with ICSI go number 2 (I can tell you that we were told our chances were MINISCULE)
I was very pro using donor sperm as i felt that it was a basic choice of that or no baby. It was I think much more complicated with my DH. The thing we couldn't really agree on was not so much whether to do it or not - but how to deal with it (Who to tell / openness etc etc)
I would recommend contacting the donor conception network - very approachable - you can call and chat to them about all your issues. The answer appears to be that on the whole DI kids grow up completely normally and VERY loved and happy - the catch comes in the telling or not. My instinct is kind of -why tell them something that they can't do anything about and that they might start telling people you wouldn't really want to know.........I think I would leave it until they were a little older -8ish maybe, so they could be a little more selective?
However be warned...the DI network as very VERY pro complete openness from day 1. I can see their point but I'm not sure its always practical - every family is different. For instance I think we could have told my parents but my DHs parents would have been devasted - so WHY on earth tell them at all..............I'm rambling and not helping probably
I guess what I'm saying is that I really do think you should go for it - I can tell you that if you get pregnant you will be so amazed and thrilled and Scared!! - you will probably be thinking of a million other things. But I think the telling (or not) thing is important to try to get a fix on - just so you can sleep at night - of course the best plans always get changed but at least you feel like you have a plan to begin with.
HOw does you DH feel about it all? I think when it came to it that was always our main sticking point. My DH always said though that he could accept DI (And be happy with it) once and only once the doctors had definately told him all other avenues were closed. I am very impatient and I think he (probably quite rightly ) just thought I was pushing DI as the quickest most effective way to get the end result...........
Can I ask what you situation is? I assume male infertility. I should know, but can you remind me what treatment have you had so far - if you want to!
Anyway - sorry for ramble -its SUCH a huge issue -and I have REALLY been there.
Good luck
Cazxx
Well - this is a topic I could talk forever about.
We REALLY REALLY thought (and one day still might have to ) considered DI but in the end we got lucky (so far) with ICSI go number 2 (I can tell you that we were told our chances were MINISCULE)
I was very pro using donor sperm as i felt that it was a basic choice of that or no baby. It was I think much more complicated with my DH. The thing we couldn't really agree on was not so much whether to do it or not - but how to deal with it (Who to tell / openness etc etc)
I would recommend contacting the donor conception network - very approachable - you can call and chat to them about all your issues. The answer appears to be that on the whole DI kids grow up completely normally and VERY loved and happy - the catch comes in the telling or not. My instinct is kind of -why tell them something that they can't do anything about and that they might start telling people you wouldn't really want to know.........I think I would leave it until they were a little older -8ish maybe, so they could be a little more selective?
However be warned...the DI network as very VERY pro complete openness from day 1. I can see their point but I'm not sure its always practical - every family is different. For instance I think we could have told my parents but my DHs parents would have been devasted - so WHY on earth tell them at all..............I'm rambling and not helping probably
I guess what I'm saying is that I really do think you should go for it - I can tell you that if you get pregnant you will be so amazed and thrilled and Scared!! - you will probably be thinking of a million other things. But I think the telling (or not) thing is important to try to get a fix on - just so you can sleep at night - of course the best plans always get changed but at least you feel like you have a plan to begin with.
HOw does you DH feel about it all? I think when it came to it that was always our main sticking point. My DH always said though that he could accept DI (And be happy with it) once and only once the doctors had definately told him all other avenues were closed. I am very impatient and I think he (probably quite rightly ) just thought I was pushing DI as the quickest most effective way to get the end result...........
Can I ask what you situation is? I assume male infertility. I should know, but can you remind me what treatment have you had so far - if you want to!
Anyway - sorry for ramble -its SUCH a huge issue -and I have REALLY been there.
Good luck
Cazxx
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nicolamark
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1879
- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
- Location: Cambridge, UK
Hi DebraP and Caz1!
Yes, I am back. You know how it is......you spend all your time looking at these boards and sometimes it just gets ya down. So my dh and I have been trying to focus on our lives and not focus on our un-born baby! But it's just come to a point where I had a bad week and needed some hope from others on this site!! Hope that makes sense!
Anyway, Caz. Thanks for your advice and kind words! You asked our situation.
Came of pill in 2001, periods were all over the place....between 3 and 7 weeks.....Some times heavy, some times light. Still not preg after a year so Doctor tested me, said I wasnt ovulating regularly, dh sperm test was zilch, had 2 tests done! Doctor refered us to hosp. Had further tests done, told every thing fine with me. My periods are now normal 28days. The pill affected me big style!! Took 2 yrs to settle my body down! Never taking it again!! Hubby was refered to urologist in March 04. Told waiting list for biopsy is 11 months!!
Hubby now thinks he'd rather give the biopsy a miss, and just go straight for donor sperm. I think I would rather wait and just see if there are sperms there. But dh has it in his head there wont be! Doesn't want to go through it all for nothing. I would rather do donor sperm afer we know about the biopsy!!! I would do anything for him and visa versa so if he wants to by pass the biopsy, I stand by him!!
Caz, are you with baby now then? Or are still waiting??
Love Nicola x x
Yes, I am back. You know how it is......you spend all your time looking at these boards and sometimes it just gets ya down. So my dh and I have been trying to focus on our lives and not focus on our un-born baby! But it's just come to a point where I had a bad week and needed some hope from others on this site!! Hope that makes sense!
Anyway, Caz. Thanks for your advice and kind words! You asked our situation.
Came of pill in 2001, periods were all over the place....between 3 and 7 weeks.....Some times heavy, some times light. Still not preg after a year so Doctor tested me, said I wasnt ovulating regularly, dh sperm test was zilch, had 2 tests done! Doctor refered us to hosp. Had further tests done, told every thing fine with me. My periods are now normal 28days. The pill affected me big style!! Took 2 yrs to settle my body down! Never taking it again!! Hubby was refered to urologist in March 04. Told waiting list for biopsy is 11 months!!
Hubby now thinks he'd rather give the biopsy a miss, and just go straight for donor sperm. I think I would rather wait and just see if there are sperms there. But dh has it in his head there wont be! Doesn't want to go through it all for nothing. I would rather do donor sperm afer we know about the biopsy!!! I would do anything for him and visa versa so if he wants to by pass the biopsy, I stand by him!!
Caz, are you with baby now then? Or are still waiting??
Love Nicola x x
IUI using donor in 2005
1st IVF cancelled OHSS 2006
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise 2009
3rd IVF successful 2010 pregnant Miscarried early
FET negative 2011
ADOPTED DAUGHTER 2014
1st IVF cancelled OHSS 2006
2nd IVF 4 eggs all failed to fertilise 2009
3rd IVF successful 2010 pregnant Miscarried early
FET negative 2011
ADOPTED DAUGHTER 2014
Nic - just to say my DH had I think 4 biopsies done! He too has totally ZERO in normal sample (mumps as teenager). We have never managed to find that many in the biopsies either - and infact in our last treatment had to reuse a frozen biopsy sample -where we found - I think -7 live wigglies! They seemed to be okay though -we got 6 embryos. 4 frozen -2 back in and I'm just now going for my 12 week nuchal scan - BRICKING it!
But whatever happens with us today- the point I'm making is that - ICSI (with TESE which is I guess what you will have) does seem work even in the most hopeless situations. I dunno about potential side effect/ deformaties etc - but thats something we'll just have to deal with as and when.
So hard isn't it - you situation is EXACTLY like mine (i too have manic periods for YEARS - but they settled down) so I really do feel for you
Tell your DH that the biopsys are too bad- its the tiniest needle and he'll feel a bit sore for a couple of days - but no worse than you've had! And tell him that even if theres is NONE in the sperm -there can very well be some further in - that just haven't got the motility to get out!
11 months is a long time to wait - I really sympathise with you there - I guess you have to try and play the long game though and think about whats best for you both in the long run. I KNOW i'd be very impatient - but thats not always the best way is it!?
Anyway - hope all that makes some sense!
Good luck
Cazx
But whatever happens with us today- the point I'm making is that - ICSI (with TESE which is I guess what you will have) does seem work even in the most hopeless situations. I dunno about potential side effect/ deformaties etc - but thats something we'll just have to deal with as and when.
So hard isn't it - you situation is EXACTLY like mine (i too have manic periods for YEARS - but they settled down) so I really do feel for you
Tell your DH that the biopsys are too bad- its the tiniest needle and he'll feel a bit sore for a couple of days - but no worse than you've had! And tell him that even if theres is NONE in the sperm -there can very well be some further in - that just haven't got the motility to get out!
11 months is a long time to wait - I really sympathise with you there - I guess you have to try and play the long game though and think about whats best for you both in the long run. I KNOW i'd be very impatient - but thats not always the best way is it!?
Anyway - hope all that makes some sense!
Good luck
Cazx