The Over 40 Crowd

[lara]

Fab scan by the sound of it, Jules, very funny. I do like hearing your baby news, even about the nuchal scan which was when I saw mine had died last time; we're all in the same situation, and we're so happy when one of us makes it! Also we're all so nervous all the way through I should think you could do with the support right up until week 40! I know how nervous I would be, anyway, so don't feel you have to quit on our behalf. I appreciate what you said about statistics - in the west we are obsessed with stats and they don't take into account the individual, as you said.

Anna, I really have to hurry up and decide whether to go this month - because it would be more or less Saturday/Monday I'd start - talk about dithering! It's all so nerve-wracking - I remember the first time I did it I just sailed through without giving it a thought - now I'm a nervous wreck! Hope AF comes soon...

Lara x

[gailbunny]

Hello Ladies

Can I join your crew.

I turned the big 40 in December last and am about to embark on my second attempt of IVF.

Hoping for success this time as my consultant says my time is about to run out.

Gail

[DebraP]

Gail, HUSH!!!!! such words on this thread are heresy!

At just turned 40 you're the youngest of the bunch - although there are one or two late 30s chickies around too.

There's a 'who's doing what + when' list not far back, you might want to add yourself to that. The board is lovely and busy right now.

hugs and good luck
Debra

[cmg]

Well so much for sodding probability theory and my 75% chance of at least one ofthe frosties surviving. Out of the blue the clinic rang this morning to say that neither of them survived the thaw. I wasn't even expecting a call til tomorrow, so I hadn't even had time to worry about it. It was a total shock. Plus I was halfway up a multistorey carpark when the mobile rang, so it felt totally unreal.

I feel so utterly cheated, not even having the chance to nurture them for 2 weeks. And now it's all over. That was our last go, that never even happened. I have worked my way through half a box of tissues, been to see the acupuncturist and the counsellor (which were booked anyway) and I just feel miserable. Plus all the grief I've been holding at bay over my Mum's death just comes straight back to the surface, so it's like a double bereavement.

I know I will get through this. I know life will go on and I will need to rethink what I do with the rest of my life now that I know it's not going to involve motherhood, but right now I just want to crawl into a hole.

Thanks for all the support. I will pop in at some time to see how you're all doing, but forgive me if I have a break as right now it's just too painful.

love Caroline

[taylorjools]

Caroline

words wont come, or help, I just send you the biggest hug in the World. Life isn't fair, and you have had a really unfair time. You are in my prayers my heart goes out to you.

with love

Jules

[lara]

Caroline,

I don't even know if you'll read this: I know if it was me I wouldn't be able to look at the boards ever again, knowing that it was over. I'm so gutted for you - I feel that we were linked somehow because of being the same age and all that - I was really hoping things were going to suddenly turn up trumps for you and the fact that you don't even get to have a go is too cruel. That's the way life is - totally random, totally out of our control - but you've been a good sport and played your roll of the dice - I wish you were able to 'have another go' - but I of course know exactly what it's like when it's got to be your last. The financial, emotional and mental drain on top of the physical exhaustion means one has to draw a line under it some time - there's no option. I hope you're brave enough to come and read your feedback here - you know, you're not the only one. I always thought if I didn't have any children at all I'd do something completely different with my life - turn it into an advantage - go off somewhere and do something amazing. Dig a well in Peru or something that you just can't do if you've got kids. Anyway, all my support and thoughts are yours, take care, keep plucking those tissues.

Lara xxx

[DebraP]

Caroline, I'm so sorry. I think a failed thaw is always a horrible shock, esp. when you weren't expecting to hear today.

Take all the time you need and of course, a board break. Best of luck and I'd love to hear how things are going when you're ready.

Debra

[randa2006]

Lisa and Caroline.... I'm just now catching up and here are two huge blows. Such a sad day. Not fair!!!! Totally wrong!!! Big HUG to both of you as you grieve and get to life on the other side.

[Sand]

Caroline - just to let you know I'm thinking of you tonight. This life can be so cruel. You will somehow find the strength to carry on and begin your new life ... take care both of you.

Sandra x

[randa2006]

BigJ - thank you for sharing your scan with us in such beautiful detail! The thought of you laying there and watching your unborn child in such a way makes rays of sunshine bounce around my room! I'm just so doggone happy for you, Sweetie!!!

And "implantation cramps"... how have I not heard of this til now? Yes, I was cramping up yesterday on and off. Instead of seeing it as a good sign, I worried. Other than that and a little, tiny bit of queezy stomach here and there and slightly sore nipples.... nothing's goin' on here. Feel very normal.

Sandra, Debra and LittleP - thank you so much for your well-wishes. I know you don't normally post on this board (except for Debra who was taking some time away). Sandra, how are you feeling?

Kat - I use the "pea-in-the-pot-of-honey" visualization often. Thanks for that! 2nd of March is getting closer!!! Are you doing acupuncture?

Tammy - best wishes on your SIS tomorrow!!!

Lara, Jen and Anna - am I right? are all of you waiting for AF? When is the next full moon? Lara, tough decision to make by Monday, I don't envy you that one.

Gail - welcome! you will LOVE this board!

Hello to Robyn, Bev, Amfy, and Jane

Here's the list again:
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 praying every day, Nuchal scan looked good official stats 15/02 + 14 week scan
Randa - 2ww, test date 17th Feb
Anna - Waiting for AF to start short protocol
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy & then hope to start DE tmt again soon
Jen - Waiting for AF, Next IVF in May...
Lisa - BFP Feb but sadly lost at 5 weeks
Lara - planning IVF in Feb/March
Tammy- SIS 9th Feb, IVF 2 March
Caroline - natural FET, ET Thurs 8th Feb
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Bev- waiting for egg donor, considering abroad
Amfy - FET March/April
Jane- visit to Spain 24th Jan to decide next step

[sophie]

Hello ladies.

Sorry to the sad news recently.

I am not in your over forties group but I wanted to pop in with some news that may offer some new hope for you all. My close freind is 48 and has been ttc for the last 18 years (YES, 18!). She had many attempts at IVF using donor embryos, one of which sadly resulted in a miscarriage. Then in 2000, she fell pregnant age 42 through donated embryo IVF and now has a beautiful 4 year old daughter. She has since had donated embryo IVF 4 times and this final time was going to be her last attempt. I'm pleased to say she got a BFP yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is (tentatively) over the moon as you can imagine!!

I am so excited for her!!!!!

Good luck to you all!

Sophie x

[teachertam]

Hello All:

Caroline: I'm so very sorry. It has to be very tough since you decided that this was the last attempt for you. If we decide to fo IVF#2, it will be our last.

I am still going "full stream ahead" on the china adoption. Have you looked into international adoption? You need to be younger than 45 to adopt an infant (6 months - 18 months) but you can be 46 - 55 to adopt a child who is 19 months +. We had friends that adopted a 19 month old from China. They had a wonderful experience and are going back the end of the year to get another girl.

Lisa: I hope you are going better. I know it must be very hard for you.

Randa: Keep us posted. When is your pregnancy test?

Hello Gail: Welcome to the group.

Jules: Please keep posting!! We love to hear your status. You are our hero! I have a friend, Tracy, who is my age and pregnant. I am very excited to here her progress.

Regards,
Tammy

[sophie]

[Sand]

Hi Randa ... Good to hear you're okay. I'm much the same as you by the sounds of it - ie. cramps on and off and v. slightly tender nipples, but nothing to speak of really. I'm trying my best not to think about it. I'm on the first day of my second week now. Usually the tears kick in around this point for me but I've been fine today. There's always tomorrow ..!

You take care

Sandra x

[Jeni Babes]

Caroline sweetheart what heart breaking news...
There is nothing that will take that pain away...all i can send is loving thoughts , hugs and a prayer for you and yours...

loving hugs
jen
xxxxxxx