The Over 40 Crowd

[Sand]

Randa .. I'm so sorry sweetie. I know you've been up and down this cycle, first negative thoughts, then positive etc .. I hope your swift AZ trip takes your mind away from all this IVF stuff for a few days. There's plenty of time later to decide what's next .... First, relax and enjoy some time out.

Sandra x

[Sand]

Just a really quick post to say it is def. a -ve. I've phoned then clinic and am waiting for their return call (to make a follow up apptmt).

Thanks to everyone for all their support ..

Sandra x

[lara]

Randa, Caz, so sorry - what a bummer. You're messages made me smile though - so brave and funny in the face of tragedy - we all have to be, don't we? I hope you do another fresh cycle, Randa, that sounds like your best option.

Well, those backpacking years in Asia certainly paid off - according to my clinic I've got hepatitis! That means I'm not allowed to freeze anything, (although I have before) and I have to always be the last person in surgery/theatre for EC / ET etc. I am now officially a leper! What worries me is this- if you're seen last in theatre to stop infection - does that mean they're not thoroughly sterilising or changing the equipment between each person? So if someone hasn't been tested - or even if they have - we've all been at risk all this time for HIV or whatever. (And what about the dentist! Apparently a lot of them don't properly sterilise their equipment between each patient - that could be where I got this virus from, apparently!). So another great day floats by... Yippee!
The doctor that told was okay, but he certainly wasn't qualified to tell you you have a life-threatening illness! I kind of went very quiet and pale. I really didn't need this thrown at me in the middle of my cycle. Not only am I not having a baby, I'm gonna die myself. Sorry, sorry, PMA PMA!!!!

Good luck, Debra.

Have a fab afternoon, everybody.

Lara x

[DebraP]

Lara Honey! Which hepatitis is it? there's a world of difference between them I think.

Curious about the treatment room. There's no way they use the same equipment so it must be an extreme precaution so as to remove all doubt. Just good practice.

I'm glad tmt will still go ahead, shame about the non-freezing but let's cross that bridge when we get there.

Now this comment:

Not only am I not having a baby, I'm gonna die myself.

What do you mean? treatment hasn't begun so let's not write it off just yet and we're all going to die, every single last one of us so don't think you're in line for something we're not.

Sorry if my light tone is wrong but a short plunge into pity pool is OK but you'd better get out and dry off now. I need you UP and ready for tmt.

hugs
Debra

[032323]

Hi Girls

AF arrived today - never mind eh! What I really mean is F--- IT!!!!

Sorry to Randa and Sandra - B------ eh?

Sorry but i always swear when I'm angry!!

Will still do the test on sunday because i always do as i'm told - but I can't see the point unless I encounter a wonderful miracle like Cla!!

Cla you lucky cow! No seriously, BRILLIANT!!

Yes I have had a drink or two tonight after work!!

I am really looking forward to our discussions next time round. Come on girls lets go again asap.

Will tell unit on Monday my news of Sunday!! BFN!!! And tell them to book me in for next time asap!! Forget the follow up!! Whats the point?

Too much analysing is no good - just pay your money and take your chance - Like a f------ lottery isn't it!!

See you on the next cycle girls - lets try and go together eh??


GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ELSE TESTING THIS MONTH!!

GOOD LUCK DEBRA!!


CAZ x

[erjumper]

Caz, Debra and Sandra,
So sorry about your negatives. You all seem so much brighter than I ever am on a negative test day. I always feel like hanging myself. (not literally) I was so desperate to hear some good news since there's been none of it around here.
Lara,
About this Hepatitis thing. There are lots of different types of hepatitis. Did they say your liver enzymes are elevated? Or did they do antigen testing and you are positives for one of the B or C's? Then there's always Hepatitis A. Regardless of which one though, they should be referring you to another physician to treat it. Especially if you have B or C. Chances are likely that any baby you deliver will have it. (a serious consideration for you) The part about being last in the OR for EC is ridiculous. They should be cleaning everything very well between patients and the equiptment is sterilized for each one.
Lisa

[DebraP]

Lisa, don't write me off just yet! It's Randa who needs the sympathy.

Debra

[teachertam]

Hello All:

Randa and Caz: So sorry to hear about your negatives. Life is just not fair. Don't give up!

Debra: My fingers are still crossed for you. You have to join Jules.

Lara: I think DH and I are going to go for IVF #2. AF should be coming end of February. I'm so sorry to hear about the Hepatitis. Have you been referred to a specialist.

Jeni: Glad to hear that your Dad is doing better!

Randa/Kat/Anna: I hope you are having a nice holiday. It is 20 degrees F here tonight.

Lisa: We have our home study "home visit" next Saturday. It is supposed to take 7 hours.

DH and I went to see the "Moody Blues" tonight. It was a great concert and at 41, I actually felt young. Most people were in their 50's.

Have a nice weekend!
Tammy

[cmg]

Hi Girls

just popped in briefly to see how things were going. I'm so so sorry to hear about the BFNs for Sandra, Randa and Caz. Randa it seems particularly cruel after having had to wait to get to ET for so long, for this not be the one. Just my view, but if you want to get going again really quickly, I'd have thought that using up some of those stored frosties would be better than another full blown cycle, especially if they let you do natural FET. Gives your body a chance to get some of those hormones out and settle back to normal.

Jeni I'm glad to hear your dad is getting stronger and hope he can come out soon.

I am taking things day by day. Some days I think I'm fine and then I find myself crying again. At the moment I'm more upset about losing my Mum than not having a baby - I think some of my grieving for her got put on hold because of the FET and now it's all come back again. DH's mother is also in hospital and that brings back all sorts of memories of my Mum. Still, we spring is on its way, we've booked a weekend in Pembrokeshire in a couple of weeks and a week in Venice in May and slowly, slowly things will get better. Oh and I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying drinking wine again!

Hi to everyone else

love Caroline

[DebraP]

Caroline, lovely to hear from you again.

DH's mum is bound to bring it all back to you. I think your analysis of having the conflict of emotions with the FET too are absolutely right. The greiving process will continue forever perhaps?

The holidays sound wonderful and I think I'll be joining you with the wine in just a few days.

I've had what seem to be unmistakeable pre-AF signals today. A dry feeling I get a day or two before AF. I'm not surprised. I've had sharp, nasty pains over the left ovary (and previous ectopic side) for about 5 days. It will be a relief when AF shows.

hugs
Debra.

[erjumper]

Debra,
I'm sooo sorry. I mistakenly typed Debra when I meant to type Randa...they are similar....can you forgive me? That's what I get for trying to type fast. I should take notes when i'm replying here. So many names to screw up. I'm still thinking positive for you. Sorry again.
Lisa

[DebraP]

Lisa, not to worry. I think AF will arrive today so no harm done

hugs
Debra

[AMck]

Hi ladies, happy Sunday.
Have been reading all the news. Lots happening.
So sorry to see the BFN's Hugs to Caz, Sandra and Randa..

Welcome to Zippy, what stage of tmt are you at?

Jen, hope your dad is Ok. Please remember to look after yourself as well. Glad to see Af has behaved herself and you are back in the swing of things!

Lara, couldn't quite believe your posts. What a rotten time you are having. What will happen now? Will you have to stop stimming? Big hugs and extra PMA to you. ....and thank you for your support regarding getting in touch with different clinics. I spoke with the Lister but they couldn't just start me on my short protocol. We would have to start from the beginning with 2 hour dr appointment, repeat tests etc... we decided to stay with Queen Marys. Hopefully it will all work out OK.

Debra, fingers crossed. Keep the faith. Will be watching for your BFP!

Kat, glad to see you are having a good time in Singapore. Remember you have to pay more for excess babggae on the way home! Funny thing for us a Shannon airport, we had to take our shoes off to go through the xray machine security thingy! I have travelled all over the world and never had to do that before! Just glad I had nice socks on at the time. When are you back?

Bev, how was Spain? Hope all went OK. Was it a good experience? Have you decided what to do? Sorry, too many questions. Am really interested to hear your news.

Jules, thanks for posting. It's lovely to see positive news. I hope you are well and happy and enjoying your 9 months. .....and thanks for message regarding overseas clinics. We are researching now.

I'm back from Ireland where we drank guiness and went for walks on the beach. It was great to be away and recharge the batteries. Spent some quality time with my sister too! Feel refreshed and ready to handle whatever happens. AF still not shown, so I need to ring the clinic tomorrow to decide what to do next.

Hello to all other 40 something ladies. Sorry haven't replied personally to all. PMA all round.

Bye for now
Anna x


New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05

2ww:
Sandra - Test 15th Feb test again 17th Feb BFN
Randa - Test 17th Feb BFN
Caz - Test 19th Feb BFN
Debra - Test 21st Feb


On meds/about to start:
Anna - Waiting for AF to start short protocol
Diane - start meds 28th Feb.
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy for new DE tmt
Lara - Scan 14th Feb
Tammy- SIS 9th Feb, IVF 2 March
Zippy -?

Preparing:
Amfy - FET March/April
Bev- waiting for egg donor, considering abroad - appt 16th Feb at IM
Gail - planning March IVF
Jane- visit to Spain 24th Jan to decide next step
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Michelle - blood test Tues 14th Feb for 2nd cycle
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March

Recent cyclers:
Lisa - BFP Feb but sadly lost at 5 weeks after DE
Caroline - natural FET cancelled Feb, failed thaw.
_________________

[BevT]

Hi everyone,

Wow, it took me ages last night to read everything that has been happening whilst we've been in Barcelona, that I didn't have the time to reply (except to reply to the fantastic news that Smita has had a little girl).

Randa and Sandra, I'm so sorry that you have not been successful on this occasion. I know that feeling when you think AF is coming, but then wondering if you are imagining it, and at the same time praying that you are imagining it, then when you find out it's -ve it's just not fair. My love and best wishes go out to you and your DH's.

Caz, Hi, it's nice to meet you. Again, my commiserations to you and your DH on your unsuccessful tmt. You girls all sound so positive, which is great, but do take some time for yourselves and your DH's to deal with things. Sending big hugs.

Debra,

Hang in there honey, as you know, you can sometimes get a surprise after being absolutely sure you will get AF, she fails to appear and all is well when you test. I'm sending you huge buckets of love, best wishes and loadsa luck for your test date.

Hi Caroline, nice to hear from you. You poor thing, losing your mum, then the unsuccessful tmt on top of it - I'd imagine that you have days like I do, when you can't think why you should get out of bed in the mornings. As you say, take things day by day and slowly things will get better. Having things to look forward to, like your holidays, will help. It's almost like you need a focus or a direction to help you deal with everything. You will find that as time goes on, the emotions and the tears don't go away as such, they just don't unexpectedly "hijack" you so often. Take care of yourself and DH, coz I bet he's going through it too at the mo, having to deal with the failed tmt and now worrying about his mum too!

Hey Tammy, so pleased that you have decided to go for another round March time. Good luck with it. It sounds cold where you are, can you remind me what 20 degree F is in Centigrade these days, it sort of sounds like it should be well below freezing, brrrrrrrrrr! We just had the most amazing weather in Barcelona, Wed - mild with a bit of cloud, Thurs and Fri - not a cloud in the sky, but just a bit of a breeze and Sat we were flying home at 11.30am, but by 9am it had already got up to 17 degree C, which I think is high 60's F! Back to murky UK now, woke up to drizzle and mist everywhere.

Hi Lisa, how are you doing now?

Lara,

OMG - hepatitis. What a bummer - but as others have said, there are different types. Can't remember which is the better or worst to have, but hopefully, now you know, something can be done if need be. I think one type can lie dormant and not cause you any problems, therefore no need for drastic treatment. I hope things work out alright in that department. Glad that you are still able to go ahead with your tmt. But why do they say you can't freeze any embryos? Have they explained that or just told you that they can't. If it's because of more risk of them not defrosting well, surely that is your decision to take, knowing that there is an increased risk of a failed thaw! Maybe there is something more to it. I just wondered if they had explained it to you.

You talking about the doctor's "bedside manner" when he told you the news of the hepatitis reminded me of when I had an abnormal smear when I was 25. A phone call at work from my GP who promptly told me that I HAD cancer of the cervix!!! Can you imagine. Well after laser treatment, I have never had an abnormal smear again. Doctors, who'd bloody pay them eh?

On a slightly brighter note, I finally managed to speak to Mary last night. My fault, as when she tried to phone me a couple of weeks ago, I was at the dreaded slimming club. Got back after 9pm and thought it too late to phone someone, when you don't know what hours they keep. She was really nice, and talking to her helped me a great deal. Dad's situation at the mo is that he has gone back home, his wife is home, she seems a bit calmer now (we think her daughters "read her the riot act"). Not an ideal situation, but he wants to try to continue to look after her - so we have to respect that decision, and wait for the next crisis to loom. Fingers crossed it won't though. Thanks very much for putting me in touch with Mary, very much appreciated.

Hi Jen,

good to hear from you. Glad that AF has now settled back into normality and you can now get on with things. Great that your Dad is slowly improving - you really don't need any more trauma in your life at the moment. Take it from me, having to deal with more than one mega important issue in your life at one time is more than enough. Love and best wishes to you, DP and your mom and dad (sorry, is mum still with you? Just presumed she was).

Can't seem to scroll down past Fri, 17th, so if I have missed anyone, apologies.

Well, we had a fab time in Barcelona. What a lovely city. So much to see, so much going on, but not so overcrowded as our own beloved London. The weather was great, as previously mentioned, and we walked and walked and walked. God my feet (even in comfy shoes) and legs were killing me. Good excuse for a DH footrub though eh? Bless him. Well, we spent the Wednesday walking all along the sea front, had Tapas, coffee etc etc, then went back to our hotel for a snooze. We were right out of Barcelona for the first night as the whole place was booked up for some world conference on mobile phones. Hotel was still £150 for B & B and we were 7 k out of the centre!!! Had dinner in hotel that night as we were too knackered to go all the way down to where "any life was". Appt. on Thurs went really well.

Kat, you played a blinder letting us know about the metro. It was SO easy to use and really cheap for the T10 (10 journeys for 6.5 Euros). Iuardana and Victoria (Dr Walker) say hello to you. They were pleased to hear you were having a break in Singapore. Lucky you. Everyone was really nice, we were there for just over two hours, had loads of questions answered, had the exam (not comfy) and was a bit worried that she said my cervix looked "strange". When I asked her what she meant, she said that she had never seen one belonging to a woman that had given birth before. She has only seen women in the past that have not been "loosened up" by child birth. Charming - tee hee Most put out, as DH had assured me that things were "no different" after we had Trini. Obviously he was being kind! She also did a trans vaginal scan for me to check for polyps/fibroids, as I had asked her questions about those. She said that nothing was visible, so that made me feel better. I appreciate that there are more thorough tests that could be done, but for the time being, that reassured me.

[BevT]

Hi again all,

Thought I'd better just post that as it was getting rather long, and I didn't want my computer to crash and for me to lose it all!!.

Anyway, where did I get to. After all the exam stuff, and DH's sperm analysis, we talked about the different contracts, and we still don't know whether to go for one cycle at a time or go for the 30,000 euros. With the refund system, if you get pg first time, go past 12 weeks and then have a problem/miscarry say at any time after - even as early as 13 wks, you lose all your 30,000. They won't even give you the other two cycles. I did ask that if there were any frozens from the first cycle, if it were to happen after 12 wks, would they let you use the frozens, she said she didn't know, good question, and would ask the boss. But she thought that if we were that unlucky her gut feeling was that yes they would let us use the frozens within the 30,000. If not, it's another 2,500 for FET.

The worry for me is that they don't seem to be so keen in spain to freeze more than 5 or 6 embies. Apparently the Govt see them as little people in suspension, which I guess they are, so they discourage or even won't allow the clinics to freeze vast amounts. So it would appear that they aim for an optimum of 5 - 10 eggs from each donor tmt cycle, and hope to get at least 3 gd quality embies from that. It just worries me that this is not enough for me to fall back on. If we only get 3 good embies which don't succeed or they just go past the 12 week cut-off, there won't be any frosties to use, and we have lost 30,000 euros. I'm not much of a gambler, just don't know what to do at present.

Victoria was really nice, and actually gave me the drugs I would need to start with, saying that when we decide, just to let her know, and she will then start the donor's stimming. We didn't even have to pay the 10% deposit. So I am ready to go, whenever we can decide which contract to go for, or indeed whether to try another country like the Ukraine, where I don't think they have such firm guidelines to how many you can freeze.

Enough for the moment - you'll all be bored to tears!

Anna, just seen that you have posted in between my typing this huge epic. Glad you had a good time in the Emerald Isle. Hope I have filled you in enough about our trip, but if you have any Q's just ask.

Jules,

Thanks for your support and all the info you gave me. I wil pm you at some stage, but for now, DH has gone out to do some work on the paddock and is hinting rather strongly that I have been on here too long.

TTFN, Love to anyone I have missed!

LOL Bev xxx