Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[Inhale, Exhale]

That's right my girlie twirlies, I am back and bad to the bone!!

Missed my margaritas so much whilst away! Was pulled to meetings here and there, then off for a long weekend at ski resort with DH and friends, then back to more meetings half way across the state......

Ski resort was the tops! I do not ski, was very glad of this as it was 6 below without the wind chill- complete with a no exposed skin warning for all. However, I do sit in hot tub with great smut novel in one hand and margaritas or wine in the other! Very nice and relaxing and tons of fun to be had by all. We ended the weekend with all us girls piled together watching Grey's Anatomy.. the icing on the cake! Absolute yumminess with Dr. McDreamy and now Dr. McSteamy- wow he is major eye candy! Anyone else watch this great romp?

So, now the appt with fertility wizard and new found God of all that is in-vetro! I went to the meeting with my mind made up- adoption for me, that is where my head was..... then comes the big offer, the apple in the garden complete with little snake telling me how lovely it is! The doc- who I will now lovingly refer to as Fertility God, has decided that if we continue with IVF he will not charge us a penny until we have baby in hand! If it doesn't work, if I have poor follie response again, if I get pregnant and miscarry, then I don't pay anything! Nothing! Nadda! Zilch! So, being very Eve-like, I can't resist that offer. So, here we go again!

First things first- I had blood taken last week for testing for genetic/chromosone testing, as he wants assurance (as much as you can get anyway) that my eggs are not sunny side up. This test will take about 2 weeks. If my test comes back Okey-Dokey-Pokey then my DH gets his goods tested. If his comes back clean then we go for IVF from scratch. I will start my birth control pills on day one of my next cycle- I am currently on day 13 of this cycle so it will only be a couple of weeks!! Yikes- A-Bee! He is doing a flare cycle this time, since I had low numbers of follies the last time..... So, if the bad egg test comes back bad then we will go for an egg donor- which he has also agreed to do that IVF for free if it doesn't work. (of course we have to pay for the eggs, because that is not done through him) Last year he had 13 couples that used egg donors and 10 got pregnant the first try and 2 more got pregnant with frozens!!

So, we are not at a financial risk anymore and we are going for it! So, take me out of the adoption pool for now and throw me back into the IVF mob squad! Felt a little anxious as I cancelled adoption meeting, but DH really wants a baby that is ours biologically or atleast part one of us. I can respect that and am willing to give it a whirl again! I keep reminding myself that adoption is stressful too! So, I will need your support for a little longer my luvah beans!

Lola- absolute thrilling that your meds have begun! Very soon my Lola will be reunited with super strength embies with death like grips! Smiles Luv bug!

OK smokes! Gotta catch up on the 97 work e-mails that are awaiting me!

Toodles!
Steph

[DebraP]

Steph........just a lightening quick visit (bit scared to be on here, you all speak a strange language)....freebie IVF? how amazing is that! Excellent news, well deserved.

Go get 'em!
hugs
Debra

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hi Debra!
Thanks for the Cheer-io words of luvin!

I just noticed you have a BFP!! Congrats!
Am I confusing you with another Debra- the one that decided she was done trying? I don't usually read the other posts so I might have missed your comeback.
Either way congrats, but if the same Debra extra Congrats! Came back for more and got a BFP! amazing. and VERY, VERY deserved. Cheers and clink the glasses!- alcohol free for you of course!

Steph

[lolajones]

Well I have decided to forgive you for abandoning me because I can't believe it!!! Who is this guy? Is Jesus doing your ivf? Man oh man, free!!! I am completely thrilled that you are back to ivf modus operandi because I know that it'll work for you. FACTOID! And yes, it IS our Debra "Da Bra" P!! I take your pregnancy as a huge bright star o the hills omen Debra - no pressure.

So The Stephatree, back from latest DEA mission a mere few weeks from a new cycle!!! Wooo and a hoooooose yo daddy!
Ski weekend sounds cool n the gang. I'm not watching Greys Anatomy (bet Little R is though ) as I have been instructed by my ADHD doctor that I should limit televisual stimulation. Indeed, I am now on a diet of folic acid and hair. I just want to reiterate that I am SO GLAD you're trying ivf again btw, smut novels in a hot tub? Don't the pages go funny? What book anyway - I need a bit of casual joy twixt the pages of Yawnicology and Epiboringology.

The injectiones are making me tired and I await my hot flushes with sticky anticipation... hose me down Demetrio!

Jemla - 3 sleeps!!!! Come on team tober!!! Lets do this thing!!

Little R I think it's time for you to come home now - I worry about the Little R: Cheese ratio RED ALERT!!! We have an agent down!!!

Walsher??? Helooooooooo

Righto chaps, I'm off to make tartlets, again with the geisha embracing.

May the protective nanotech bubble surround us all with its low rent interior and badness deflector shield.

Love love love

Lolebrand Lickmeister
xx

[Walshy]

Ahoy me fellow Octoberies...
I have just got back from some nice Chinese so if my writtings starts sounding funny it's OK it just means the MSg has just kicked in....I am so bad at this keeping up to date thing..

Lola - I can not believe you are already stimming and will soon be re-united with the littleones......So you are the the first of us left that will be re-united with our eggs and get a BFP (no pressure) And thanks for saving us from page 2...oh the horror we are so not page 2 girls we are front page.....what would kath and Kym say..........

Steph - Welcome back into the IVF sauna....i am very excited that you were going to give it another go. I have read a few things on the internet about clinics giving people a 'free cycle' until they get pregnant.....it's all so exciting anyways that you are DH are back...The novel and bath sound great but with the heat we have been experiencing lately over here i think the snow sounds excellent. My air con at work doesn;t work either so am sitting in my own old air from yesturday

Jen - Happy Birthday...........So you are scond off the bat to start meds.....i can feel the love in the air for all us Octoberoonies...there has to be some good news from some of us soon.

Little R - I hope youa re enjoying yourself....

I am sending you all lots of PMA that i have left as I won't be needing it for a while and by the time i need it you guys will all be pregnant. I have everything crossed that this will be the cylce for you to get the BFP that we all want.

Until next time take care ladies...cheers, Walshy

[Inhale, Exhale]

Whatz Uppy sunshines and moonbeams!!

Warning- feeling a bitty fiesty today!!

My girlfriend calls me last night to tell me that my other girlfriend went to the docs this week because her period has been acting strangely for 2 months. So the doc does an ultrasound to rule out a cyst and finds nothing. So the doc has decided that she has endometriosis and is going to do laproscopic surgery. The first thing wrong with this is that the doc hasn't tested hormone levels, checked for PCOS- just immediately calls it endo and is doing a surgery! So the girlfriend has launched herself (she's a teeny weeny drama queen) into full on panic mode- Oh my god I won't be able to get pregnant, I'll have to go through IVF, I'll never be a mom.....

Yowza, as my friend was describing this to me, I was like- oh cut me a break. You don't even know if you have endometriosis!!!! Please don't be overdramatic about a possible problem, when it is MY reality! I really hope that nothing is wrong with her- she is way too emotional to go through what we go through everyday. Her mom has already offered to carry the baby for her- because she saw something on the news the other day..... a family of lunatic over-reactors, we are talking nuclear- reactors people!

So, my dilemma is this- to be tough love- calm the hell down, you don't know anything yet and even if it is endo, that doesn't mean you will need IVF!! Or- option 2- be supportive and "I understand your feelings". The second option will be a toughy. When frankly- I feel like telling her to come talk to me when she actually knows she has a problem and is going through what I am!!! She isn't trying to get pregnant, never has tried!! She could get pregnant very easily!! Go through that full prerequisite year of trying first then call me. Told you I am a bit punchy today.

Nough bout my crazies!!

Lola-tu-tu- How's my cwazy wabbit today, hmm? Good drugs? Bad Drugs? Is Demetrio standing about with palm branch to cool you off? I think he would look steamy in a fig leaf! Do you have a date for the big thaw? How many do you take from snowsuits to speedos?

Walshy Kangaroo! Glad to see yas! Is it love in the air or very powerful gas that will seep into our pores and get us all suspiciously preggo with luv childs with bright blue hair and spyware? May will not be that far away, the months are wizzin by. Keep a pinch of PMA for yourself! We will give the rest back when needed!

Jen- Sorry I missed the b-day wish! Did you take advantage of the candle blowin and wish makin opportunity? Your day is her very soon chicquita banana! Start her up boys!

Little R- my sadness. Oh where is my little R and when will she be back??? Will not feel complete until all the Tubers are back together!

Luvs to my Bugs!
Steph

[lolajones]

I'm in the same mood as you so Tough Love would be my opinione. I mean, have a word!!! Open up a can o reality, girlfriend. Pffftttt

I'm in a bad mood. I look like crapster, dark rings, bad hair, mean eyes. I'm sure I've gained about a gazillion wrinkles in last 2 days - I'm fast forward aging. Maybe its the drugs. Oh yes, moan moan moan, yawn yawn yawn lola blah blah blah

Apologies....

Walsheee - a trip to Fountaingate for a 'ccino would cheer me up I reckon Or mabe a fuzzy perm, go the 'fro!!! Wouldn't it be TOP DRAWER if all us Tober die hards got up the duff this time!! As a thread, we were pretty successful.. in the broader scheme of things

Jemla Stalka - 2 sleeps 2 sleeps!!!!

Little R - pass the Reclette baton to me, queso girl! Looking forward to having you back.

Steph, Demetrio is all about the fig leaf! May be tricky to find in London but we can always use a packet of crisps or something. Big thaw will be around 28th March I reckon. They'll thaw 2 and if any don't make it they'll keep pulling them out of the freezer until they have 2 good uns to put back. Man I hope it works, I feel totally unprepared for this cycle and if it's a bfn, well, Hard Times at Valley High.

OK my dependable shipmates, I'm off to confront the abyss that is my laundry basket, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

love n that
Lola
xxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hi My Tiddly Winks!

Question of the Day- why is it that only stupid, controlling, opinionated people become bosses? Why are no normal people supervisors? I hate my supervisor. I know, hate is a very strong word, but true enough anywhosin! We lovinly refer to him as "the marsupial". He looks like one and smells like I would imagine them to smell.

As you can see mood is not much improved today. Although I am slightly looking forwrd to the weekend. I am going to spend the weekend with my college girls. We ditch out husbands, they ditch their kiddos and we pretend to be young and free with no responsibilites and all the time in the world to drink and shop and eat horrible takeout, non nutritious yummies in the tummies. In other words, we pretend to be in college again. That is without the horny little 18 year old boys runnin about and the vomiting on street corners of course. However, I say slightly because 2 of my friends are pregnant again- one without even trying! So, as you know and fully comprehendo, that is very irksome. I hope I can handle the "oh, I can't drink, oh I can't eat that, oh I am so tired" comments. My friends are very aware of my situation and very sensitive about it... but, you know that being pregnant is a huge part of their lives right now and so are their kids, so the conversation seems to always come to that. If they start talking about baby names I will do one of the following- excuse myself to the kitchen and eat every sweet available, excuse myself to the kitchen to open another bottle of Three Olives Cherry Vodka or excuse myself to the kitchen to put my head in the microwave and press start...... Decisions, decisions.

Lola Loopy Lovie- how's my girl with dark eye circles and full body wrinkle suit doin? Hmm, sweetums? You know I heard some advice yesterday- If you have wrinkles, eat until they go away! Fantastico, no? Well, you sound like you are swimming in an abyss of black sludgy negativity mud swamp... I have just slain the swamp monster (with Demetrios help Oh course) and am throwing in very long rope with super strength. Grab the rope Lola Bug!! Outta the swamp and into magi bubble for solid coating of WAA dust- no PMA dust is not strong enough! It's WAA (Whoop Ass Attitude) for you. You will have lovely little warrior embies and get the great news of pregnancy Lola style, complete with every pregnancy symptom you can have, in pure Lola, sicky as a bird with avian flu virus, fashion! oh how the tuberloos will cheer! Little pom-poms and little skirts with spanky pants.

To the rest of the posse- yo!
Jen - soon darlin! Get your ass-bearin' chaps ready! Yee-haw!

Namaste and Om
(for chill the f- out factor)
Steph

[lolajones]

Option 2 - the vodka. Save the microwave scenario until things get really mean. Hope your weekend of lady riot is going well and that your friends have embargoed all preg/baby/child talk.
Thanks to your SAS skills I am now safe inside the nanotechno-ball of serenity, lounging on its comfy sofa whilst Demetrio massages my feet. He aint bad.
How are you though - when do you get the results of your blood tests?

Jemlarah - Tomorrow!!!! Let the games commence!!

Little R - are you back? How was holiday? Whats your cholesterol level?

The Walsh basking under the antipodean sun - stay bueno!

Okaly dokaly, back to books for me. Where are you, Benicio Del Toro, when I am in need of latino rescue, a rum cocktail and a cigarette????

Sheesh, men eh?

Love
Lola
xxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi gang, i'm back.

Decided to come back to the land of Rugby heroes. Couldn't stay down there with the losers, sorry Lola haha

Well it looks like i came back in time to throw some much needed PMA to Lola and Steph.

Steph - FREE IVF, i'm coming to visit your fertility god. Brilliant news, i'm so pleased for you . Hang in there and your bundle will arrive one day. Need to sort out your hysterical friend though and please refrain from the microwave, we need you girl.

Lola - I'm sure your not looking that bad. Pick yourself up girl and keep positive. Throw on some slap and pamper yourself. Roll on the 28/3, embies to the defrost and homeward bound they are heading .

Walshy - May, huh thats a doddle, its only down the road and not as far as you think. We will be here for you my friend.

Little R - A hug goes out to you as always. Please send me some sun, it's freezing in Scotland.

Me - Well tomorrow is the day . Medi is at the ready but unfortunately the bill is also waiting .
Anyway i am keen to get started but also have mixed emotions. Have had moments of "it didn't work the first time so why should it the second". Am also dreading the 2ww as it was the second week that was the worst and as i was only 2 days away from testing when i started to bleed the last time, it will be a constant worry. However onward and upward as they say and i WILL stay positive.
The friend we were staying with while in Surrey is trained in different therapies so i had body, head and feet massage and reiki. On Wed i have my first consultation with the acupunture therapist , who has agreed to try one needle and see if i can stand it before booking more appointments (i know, i know, i'm a wimp). Zita is also at hand for any helpful advice (via the bookshelf). So we're off and running.

A massive bucket of baby dust and PMA to you all. This years going to be the best .

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Jemlalala your positivity is fantastic! and much needed. I guess there are always mixed emotions when we start a new cycle. But hey! We're on the road again!!!
I am about to darken the mood.......... lola

***The segment below is optional, apologies***********************

Well, I've been feeling like shite for the last few days and today hit bottom (not in a cute spanky pant way) so decided to look back at the start of this thread, the start of my last cycle to see if I felt the same then and therefore could conclude (in a V scientific way) that this is all the fault of the Pull Rug From Under You hormones. Mistake.
***SELFISH ALERT****SELFISH ALERT*****PMA VACUUM******
It was so hard seeing all the old octoberries new signatures and tickers, so many successes. All 20+ weeks preg. And of course I'm happy for them but it got me to thinking why me? Why did mine have to be ectopic? And I was reading my posts after the bfp. And Stephs and Little Rs and I felt so sad and angry and its not fair. And then Jens, walshys. It isn't fair!!!

*****************************************************

I'm not a very nice person am I.
Anyhoo, on a more positive note, we will all be successful this year because thats just the way it is. Right? Other good news includes the fact that Tetley Decaff teabags taste just like the regular ones

6 sleeps until I blow this joint!!! Need a rest from work and study (though there aint a lot o that going on at the moment ) as am going insane and not in a kooky, Sandra Bullock way either.

OK then my queens of mirth, adieu and may we all be infested with the smiley louse of slap and tickle.

Lola Piaf
xxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Ughs and Sighs Tubers!

So very smiley that the weekend is OVER! It started out lovely with wine and "why are boys so dumb" husband talks. But on Saturday we took a mall trip and you know what that means- preggos and babies and the like every-bloody-wheres! So, that depresses me. Then the conversation somehow turns to labor and delivery and I start crying and can't stop and it all comes out- about how it kills me to hear about their kids and I don't want to hear about their pregnancies and I feel so left out of everything and how I hate it that they can't talk about certain things in front of me..... blah, blah waterworks. And of course they try to understand and of course they could never really understand how I feel. So, it turns into me telling my friends that it may be better for me not to be around anymore and it absolutely KILLS me. I feel like infertility has taken so much away from me already and is now taking away my best friends in the world. I mean we are so close and have been for the past ten years- closer than family. The good kind of family- the closeness of a family without all the family baggage to tote around. I keep trying, but lately it has been too hard. The failed transfer really stole all of my chipper tudes and now I am just going through the motions, not really believing it will work....

Needless to say, the weekend was not great.

Lola- I know what you mean about wondering why me. My friend is a month behind in her pregnancy from where I should have been. It is very hard for me when I think about it. BUT- you shall be one of the hated preggers soon lovey! Have faith and stuff and stuff. Sorry I am fresh out or I would love to give to you my oodles of noodles.

Jen- welcome back! Sorry you came back to find Lola and I in the conundrum dumps. Glad to see the happiness and positivity that is oozing through your posts. Stay strong superwoman! Needle away to relaxin'.

Little R- am entirly fed up with your trip away! I order you back pronto.

Walshy- how's it hangn?

Save a horse ride a cowboy,
the slightly angry and aggrevated Steph

[Inhale, Exhale]

Well girls, my day just keeps getting worse...
I got a friendly reminder from one friend that her daughters 1st b-day party was on Saturday and if our other friend is there (the one that doesn't even know if she has endo) that I am supposed to be nice and understanding.....

I couldn't take it, that was the last straw. So, I sent my friends all an e-mail explaining to them that I am not in the same place that they are right now and I will not be at the party- essentially I have just pushed all of my friends (who by the way have really tried and have been wonderful during this whole thing) out of my life.

What else will infertility take from me?
Steph

[lolajones]

Steph steph steph, what a shite weekend.
Its not fair that we're all in this situation, its not fair that we have to be flippant and amusing about this just to make friends feel better. IT'S NOT FAIR.
But, this is just a trough and you know that you'll be back to semi normal business soon. This infertility butt wipe is only a tiny part of you, it doesn't define you. I know how you feel when you say its taken so much from you. We can't think like that though, after every piece of bad news it's like you have to zero the machine. Is impossible to carry around all the badness, is too painful and ungetoverable. And all this will be forgotten when Steph junior is keeping you up all night like his dad used to
You haven't lost your friends - this is just crisis mode: deployed! You will feel better, look at what you've done so far. And you're fantastic! You are funny (if a bit wierd), clever, wonderful!!!

And PS you didn't give yourself uno minuto to take in the whole failed FET business. That must have hurt like hell and you didn't miss a beat.

Have a duvet day tomorrow and watch lots of awful day time telly! Take more care of yourself! We all here and eager to be your cyber shoulder to cry on

lola
xxxxxxx

[lolajones]

Helloooooo Lovelies!!

gwenStephanee - how you????? Does the world look a bit different today?

where are the other octobudliols? Me and steph have scared everyone away with our clouds of noxious doom!
Little R, like our steph I too am thoroughly fed up of your holiday which is going on FOR EVER. come back and post.
Jemlandio, needle queen - how're the injections? I read in the Lancet that suddenly there is an Emla shortage crisis in Scotland after bulk buying by an unknown ladeeee....... eh eh eh?
walshy - high on msg and no doubt streaking naked through the streets of Coogee - how you?

I am in nervous mood. I have to give a preee zentt ation at lunchtime. I loathe public speaking things because it always goes one of two ways
a) I get v uptight and look utterly rabbit in headlights and nervous, or
b) I get too relaxed and start peppering my talk with swear words and general inappropriateness.
Goddamn. What would SJP do?

4 sleeps until my holiday! Wooo hoooo!!!! I think its high time for a song. I have chosen for todays uplifting number the classic Tom Jones hit "She's a Lady". Maybe I should start my preeeezentayshon with it? Maybe I should just chill the fout - too many decaffs esta manana, man oh man.

OK, I'm off to suit n stockings up, she s a ladeh! whoa whoa whoa, she's a ladeh! Altogether!!!


Miss Lolandudno Hasselhoff
xxxxx