Feeling really down!!

becky · Post by **becky** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:10 pm

Hi Guys ..I was so excited and positive that dh's sperm was getting better ..only to get the worst results ever this morning and find out that the last count done the day we did ICSI 2 was probably an error...we were hoping for a result of at least 7 mill and a motility of 50%..BUT the result was well under 1 million and only 10 % motility..just don't know where to go from here..just keep crying over and over again!! We don't have any money for a third go at ICSI and no chance for our 2 NHS IUIs as the results were no good..please keep me sane.. Just bloody fed up with this whole infertility thing! Becky B

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:56 pm

Oh Becky how disappointing for you both (to say the least) I'm really sorry. You do just get fed up of tests and worrying about the results don't you. I'm really sorry. In practical terms all I can think to suggest is that you might badger your doctor to push for another ICSI instead of the IUI's. It makes me so mad that there's not much more help on the NHS for people who just want assistance in overcoming their disability the same as everyone else. There's also the possibility of donor sperm - I know its difficult to contemplate easily but sometimes I think they suggest half and half (half donor, half your DH's). It's easier said than done I know, but something to think about in the near future perhaps. I wish I could be more helpful, I know it must be an awful time for you but I send you both lots of love and I know you'll work something out. Jo. XXXXXXX

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 2:01 pm

Becky Poor you , its crap isnt it when you get good news and then its all taken away again! I know only too well what that feels like , Have you ever conciderd doing egg sharing and then that would enable you to aford ICSI again I know where I am they do free Treatment for those that donate and they are the BMI Care clinics , there is a website you could look at . in the meantime keep your pecker up , I know its hard but its not curtains YET!!!!! Trace x

caz · Post by **caz** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 3:33 pm

O becky - so sorry to hear that. WHAT A BUMMER. U should Keep badgering for another ICSI - they do only need one sperm! As I guess you know We are considering donor sperm next time. Its a hell of alot to get your head around - but then on the other hand its also incredibly simple. I think I've almost been over analysing it. Its a way to have your own baby - full stop. There must be thousands of kids born out there who dont know there gentic dad or they think they do but actually dont - if you knwo what I mean!! There was once a sociolgy study done where 20% of kids born in married couples where NOT to genetic child of the husband. Whoops, bit akward for the mum!! POint is...does it matter?? Dont know if this is the perfect answer - for either of us. But it IS an option I guess. Hope it all goes well. I really sympathise Cazx

debb · Post by **debb** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 6:21 pm

Hi Becky So sorry to hear your news.This IF is all so depressing, stressful and unfair. My cycle was abandoned due to poor response(and I can't see me producing any next time either) But we will consider donor eggs and we know we can live very happily with that. I agree with Caz on that. It is definately an option. Please don't give up, you'll feel a bit better in a few days and then be able to plan the next stage! Take care Debbie

Jules R · Post by **Jules R** » Thu Jul 17, 2003 7:48 pm

Oh Becky, I know how you feel. Dh's sperm results were always so different - either great or complete rubbish; sometimes the consultant blamed the lab in taking too long to test the sample, sometimes she had no explanation. We were told we were eligible for NHS IUI if I lost a stone so I dutifully did, only to be told that the two most recent sperm tests for DH didn't satisfy new criteria they had brought in in the meantime. So we went on the NHS waiting list for ICSI, only to find it was a 5 year wait. We were extrememly lucky to come into some money after a year on the list and so paid for a private ICSI cycle, but if we hadn't have done, I guess we'd just be coming up to the top of the list now. The good thing about going private (and having to go up to London for our treatment) was that I didn't have to cope with the inefficiencies and frustration of the local hospital and our unsympathetic consultant so it actually made it a much more relaxed experience. But I know that's not much comfort if you don't have the cash. We certainly considered donor sperm so that may be an option for you, but equally your DH's results may improve again - here's hoping. Jules