The Over 40 Crowd

[AMck]

Tammy am jigging for you now!!!



hope Af comes soon! Glad to see your home visit went well.

Jen , hope you have a great holiday. You deserve a break after all you've been through. Happy Hols!!

Debra, fingers crossed for results tomorrow. Thinking of you.x

Diane, good luck for tomorrow. Back on the roller coaster!

Jo, in answer to your question...YES ...here's our list!

New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Debra - BFP 20 Feb. Scan 10th March.

On meds/about to start:
Diane - start meds 28th Feb.
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy for new DE tmt
Tammy- SIS 9th Feb, IVF 2 March

Preparing:
Amfy - FET March/April
Bev- Visit to IM 16th Feb re DE tmt, considering options
Gail - planning March IVF
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Anna - Short IVF protocol in March

Recent cyclers:
Lisa - BFP Feb but sadly lost at 5 weeks after DE
Caroline - natural FET cancelled Feb, failed thaw.
Sandra - (honorary 40+ member) BFN, hugs
Randa - BFN hugs
Caz - BFN hugs
Jo - BFN hugs

Hi to everyone. PMA all round.
Bye for now
Anna x

[erjumper]

Debra, I've got my fingers crossed for your betas. What was your second one and how many days after the first? It's so crazy that some of my worst betas made it the farthest and some of my very optimistic numbers initially crapped out suddenly. Like everything else IVF related it's so unpredictable.
Tammy, Thanks for asking about the foster care/adoption process. It's going well as far as all the paperwork and interviews/home inspection goes. Some days I feel very optimistic and certain about this course and then other days I feel really angry that we may be given a baby to love and nurture from a drug addicted or abusive mother and then a year or 2 later some judge may decide to give her/him back to her. And then I wonder if I can really go through with it. I don't know if I could allow that to happen and come out of it emotionally intact. I've done some research on Employer Assisted Adoption plans and my DH has approached his company's owner about starting the plan. He seemed interested and said he'd look inot it but realistically speaking, i'll be 41 in April...by the time he would actually get anything set up and we actually could apply, and then the wait.....The clock is ticking even on adoption. Even people giving up embryos for adoption now are starting to specify no moms over 40.
On a positive note...my RE e-mailed me yesterday and said we CAN still make it into his May FET cycle. Our last 3 little chillies. So I start Lupron and my last roller coaster ride on April 1st. Trying not to be optimistic...they aren't giving us good odds. They say between 5 and 10%. Have to try though.
Lisa

[teachertam]

Lisa:

Have you considered international adoption? It is a sure thing and you don't have to give the baby back. I would not be able to do the foster care, because as you said, some wacko judge could decide to give the baby that you have raised (your baby) back to his/her birth parents. However, I know of a friend of a friend that did the foster care-to-adopt program and was able to adopt and is happy. There is a $10,600 tax credit for adoption. It is not a deduction, but a credit. If you pay at least $10,600 in federal income taxes, you will get it back at the end of the year. It will cost us around $17,000 to adopt from China, so $10,600 is a considerable chunk. Unlike with IVF, you don't have to pay the entire amount all at once. It is doled out in chunks over a 1 year period. If you would like more info., send me an email. I was talking to an old friend at the funeral I went to last week. She told me a story about her brother and sister-in-law. They tried IVF 3 times with no luck. They proceeded with adoption from China and then she got pregnant on her own. NO IVF!!
Now her husband will have to travel to China without her, since she will be too big to travel. The embryo adoption is another option, but one agency that I looked into said that the married couple had to be married for 3 years. We have only been married 1.5 years. I would have to wait 1.5 more years. All of these restrictions are very frustrating when you just want to me a mother. Good luck on your frozen cycle.

Anna: Thanks! I have been having cramps for over 1 week now, but still no AF.

Hello to everyone else.

Regards,
Tammy

[Smita]

Poking my nose in to wish Debra lots of luck for tomorrow..
And since I am here..
Tammy
Hope AF shows up soon..
Anna,
I do hope your AF regularises itself..
So frustrating for you..
Jo,
Sending you hugs, hope your pain reduces each passing day..
Lisa,
Lots of luck for your cycle in May, keep the faith.. His ways are mysterious..
BEv,
have you made your decisions about your clinics yet?

smita



smita

[BevT]

Hi Everyone,

Just a quickie, am busy trying to sort out flights, accommodation, underfloor heating, new woodburner, etc etc. (we have a building project we're hoping to start this year, as if I don't have enough in my life at the mo to worry about).

Debra and Smita,

I have decided that I am going to go to Kiev, with the intention of having DE tmt there - unless of course I get there and an totally unhappy with what I see. I doubt this though, as I have managed to speak to quite a few people now who have been and had successful tmt or undergoing tmt at the moment. Everyone has been really impressed with it, so that is my decision. I am going to go with DH at the end of March, as his Easter hols start then. Then I can go back at any time I am needed on my own. That way, we haven't got to syncranise (is that correct spelling?) my AF with Donor and the school hols to boot!!!!

Am in the process of looking at the best airlines, flights etc. so when I have these booked, I can then book my appt. ISIDA say that they are able to accommodate me anytime the week commencing 27.3.06. Also, I have been told that they are open until 9pm weekdays, and even open on a Saturday! Can you believe it? So there does seem to be a certain amount of flexibility with it all. Makes things even easier to fit round DH's rigid hols.

Hope all is well with everyone else, hope you'r beta is on the way up Debra.

LOL Bev xxx

[DebraP]

wahoo, go Bev! March starts tomorrow so the 27th will be here super quick. That's the day I turn 42 so it doesn't have to rush for me though!

My beta is up, but nothing like as fast as I'd hoped. As of yesterday it was 385, up from 114 on Thursday, up from 84 on Tuesday (which was ET +14). I've made the mistake of looking at the beta sites and most numbers there are so much better. I'd hoped for well over 500. As prev. my clinic are laid back about it, say they're not worried as I've not had pains for a good few days. They told me today of a client who's numbers didn't start to rise for 2 weeks, 2 extra weeks, can you imagine the stress??? all worked out in the end though. First scan still on schedule for 10th. Send me some patience!!

Debra.

[Kat]

Hi all

Bev - glad you have made a decision - Debra's right, it'll go really quickly.

Debra - no advice to offer on betas I'm afraid, I only know mine were high to start with and look what happened there. Like Lisa says, it just goes to show you never can tell.

DH is full of cold since he got back fom skiing and is being thoroughly miserable, I also think he's nervous for the biopsy but he's not mentioning that, still not long and it'll be over with ...

Hi to everyone else
Lots of love
Kat xx

[DebraP]

Kat, of course he's nervous. As would any man I'm sure.

Best of luck and thanks for the kind words.
Debra.

[randa2006]

Hi Friends,

Sorry to be away so long. I was in Arizona for a week and then back to work. I only have access to a computer at home (very different from my former career), so I can't talk to you all until my days off (and when those came I was sick). Also, hit a rough patch with dh, but things have worked out. Fighting really takes a toll on me these days. I'm just feeling very old, and the -ve has a lot to do with that I'm sure.

Better now. It was good to see my daughters. Dh and I looked at property again there, and we are really starting to create a plan of action to move there (which is my dream, to be near my daughters again). The horrible rains here this winter have pushed him over the edge and he's ready to say good-bye to Seattle.

We meet with our doc today for our follow-up. Not sure if we'll do another fresh or try our first FET. I'm really torn.

Debra, I'm so happy for you. Your beta is rising and that can only be a good thing! Please try to keep positive. What are the odds of you having another ectopic? I'm sure they are remote.

Best wishes to everyone else for positive progress wherever you are in your cycle.

God Bless!

[erjumper]

Randa,
Glad to see you back but sorry you had a rough few days. I think it really is true about infertility being as stressful as having cancer treatment. I never would have realized what a sincere nightmare the whole thing is until I lived it. I had a dream last night that our case manager with the foster agency showed up at our door with a newborn baby girl and said "Here, I wanted you to have her. She needs parents who will love her." Then after visions of cuddling and diapering her....of all the things to dream about.....a judge in his black robe came to the door, burst in and took her back. I woke up in tears.
Debra,
No can do on the patience. Ran out of that after the first cycle. If you're interested in doubt, anger, indecision or helplessness I could overnight it by Fed-Ex.
Tammy,
I will try to e-mail you for more info on the international adopt. I just don't know where we'd get 12 to 15k even if we got 2/3 of it back at tax time. We've already pulled every financial resource for all the IVF. We're totally tapped out. I'd love to hear anyone's suggestions though. We'd LOVE a little girl from China! Quite literally!
Lisa

[teachertam]

Hello Ladies:

Bev: I'm so glad to hear that you have made a decision. March will fly by.

Randa: Glad to hear that you are deciding on your next step. I don't know what I would do, as I did not have enough eggs collected to freeze any.

Lisa: I will check my emails regarding the Chinese adoption. I am so excited. Believe it or not, I would not agree to do IVF #2 unless DH promised to still let me adopt my baby girl from China.

Smita: Congratulations on your new baby girl!! Are you a first time parent? AF has not arrived yet, but all of the symptoms are here.

Debra: I'm so glad to hear that you beta keeps rising. I don't know what to tell you except that everyone is different regarding their beta level. I'm sure your clinic would let you know if they were concerned.

Kat: You are doing to Spain this week right?

Take care,
Tammy

[BevT]

Hi all,

this is a very short message for Kat and particularly her DH. Good luck for your whirlwind trip to IM tomorrow - hope DH's bits recover quickly and the the biopsy results are good!

LOL Bev xxx

[taylorjools]

Hi Ladies

wanted to come and and say hi to you all, there si so much going on here...

Kat - good luck to dh, I am sure he'll be fine, as long as you have a good jock strap with you as I suggested just be careful when you are wriggling in bed that you don't catch him with your knee/elbow etc I did once and he went through the roof poor sweetie..

D - have posted to you on the other side, keep believing in your little one sweetie..we ariens are bad at patience but very good at PMA for others so try and turn some on yourself OK??. Your birthday is the day after mine - I'll be 43 , how wierd is that???? One day we shall have to have a PARTY

Randa - dying to know what you decide about next cycle. Bound to have som rought times with dh after all you have been through, try and keep a cool head. Must be hard for you as you already have children, I guess he is just worrying a lot and you are feeling run down. You have loads of time and loads of chances yet so keep up the PMA dear.

Bev - good luck with your flight booking, glad you have made a decision, don't worry dh will enjoy himself I am sure.

Tammy and Lisa best of luck with the adoption struggle. We did think about fostering as you have to be under 35 in Germany to adopt (yeh under 35, and I mean BOTH of you..) but I too couldn't face the inevitable parting with the child after having it as part of the family..However this will come back on the table when we dicide, if all goes well, whether to try for nr2 or try something else......

Thinking of all of you all the time girls, and cheering you on like mad!!!

big hugs

Jules

[Kat]

Well, as I was about to go out the door this morning DH decided he doesn't want to go to Spain tomorrow and can I cancel it please

He still isn't well with the flu, not just a man-cold, really not well and isn't sleeping or eating much so I can see why the thought is not appealing

What I don't know is if this is I don't want to go to Spain tomorrow or I don't want to go to Spain at all - 7.00 this morning was not the time to be having that particular discussion

Trying not to think about it during the course of today

I'll let you know what happens

Kat xx

[DebraP]

Kat please let us know what happened.

Debra.