The Over 40 Crowd

[taylorjools]

Kat - thinking of you dear...I do hope that it's just that he's not well

hugs

Jules

[AMck]

Hi to all
Kat, hope dh feels better and up to the trip to Spain. Hugs to you. x
Tammy, any sign of AF. The little witch is never around when you want her is she! Still jigging for you.
Bev, well done you in making a decision. Hope all goes well for you. I'm sure March will fly by and you'll be on that plane before you know it. By the way.....I know your dh is a teacher and you try to fit your tmt around his holidays. I am a teacher too. Did you know that teachers can take 5 days during term time as 'personal days' You don't have to tell the bosses why you want the time! Just a thought if things don't fit perectly round the school hols.
Debra , a bucket of patience for you. Hang in there. Those levels are still rising !!!
Randa, hi and hugs to you. Hope all went well with the dr today and you have made a decision on the next step for you.
Hi to Jules, good to see you post. Is all Ok with you?

New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Debra - BFP 20 Feb. Scan 10th March.

On meds/about to start:
Diane - start meds 28th Feb.
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy for new DE tmt
Tammy- waiting for AF, IVF #2 March

Preparing:
Amfy - FET March/April
Bev- Visit to IM 16th Feb re DE tmt, considering options
Gail - planning March IVF
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Anna - Short IVF protocol in March

Recent cyclers:
Lisa - BFP Feb but sadly lost at 5 weeks after DE
Caroline - natural FET cancelled Feb, failed thaw.
Sandra - (honorary 40+ member) BFN, hugs
Randa - BFN hugs
Caz - BFN hugs
Jo - BFN hugs

PMA to all lovely ladies on this thread
Bye for now
Anna x

[AMck]

Hi to all
Kat, hope dh feels better and up to the trip to Spain.
Hugs to you. x
Tammy, any sign of AF? The little witch is never around when you want her is she! Still jigging for you.
Bev, well done you in making a decision. Hope all goes well for you. I'm sure March will fly by and you'll be on that plane before you know it. By the way.....I know your dh is a teacher and you try to fit your tmt around his holidays. I am a teacher too. Did you know that teachers can take 5 days during term time as 'personal days' You don't have to tell the bosses why you want the time! Just a thought if things don't fit perectly round the school hols.
Debra , a bucket of patience for you. Hang in there. Those levels are still rising !!!
Randa, hi and hugs to you. Hope all went well with the dr today and you have made a decision on the next step for you.
Hi to Jules, good to see you post. Is all Ok with you?

New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Debra - BFP 20 Feb. Scan 10th March.

On meds/about to start:
Diane - start meds 28th Feb.
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy for new DE tmt
Tammy- waiting for AF, IVF #2 March

Preparing:
Amfy - FET March/April
Bev- Off to Kiev end of March for tmt DE
Gail - planning March IVF
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Anna - Short IVF protocol in March/April

Recent cyclers:
Lisa - BFP Feb but sadly lost at 5 weeks after DE
Caroline - natural FET cancelled Feb, failed thaw.
Sandra - (honorary 40+ member) BFN, hugs
Randa - BFN hugs
Caz - BFN hugs
Jo - BFN hugs

PMA to all lovely ladies on this thread
Bye for now
Anna x

[teachertam]

Hello All:

Anna: No AF has not visited me yet. This has been the weirdest cycle. I thought for sure that I was starting 1.5 weeks ago, when I spotted. I have been having light cramps, but no AF. I have my meds and I was hoping to start them on Friday, but who knows when I will able to start.
When is your cycle starting? Maybe we will be cycling together.

Regards,
Tammy

[DebraP]

Tammy, is it worth taking an hpt? just in case??

Randa, how did the apt. go?

Kat, did you go??

Debra.

[teachertam]

Debra: I took an hpt and it was negative, as I expected. I am having stronger cramps this morning. I hope AF comes today.

Tammy

[erjumper]

Tammy,
Thanks so much for sending me that adoption info. In the last few days i've been reading and reading and DH and I talked and decided we want this badly enough to go to some extremes to come up with the cash. (retirement funds, etc.) But once again, after we got all excited and thought our dreams were finally going to come true we found out you both have to be over 30 to adopt from China (our only conceivable financial possibility). They say there are NO EXCEPTIONS even though i'll be 41 next month, hubby is only 28! We even had a name all picked out for her. This is just so brutally unfair. We would give her so much love and everything else she could possibly want. Then one of the reps from the agency said that Guatemala has no waiting list now with an overabundance of baby boys which are matched before they are 2 months old making them the country where you get the youngest baby. You only have to be 25. But it costs 13 to 15 thousand MORE than China. On average, 30k. That's completely impossible unless I start selling myself on the streets. (sorry, i'm getting so cynical) Just can't take this anymore.
Debra,
How are your numbers?
How do I update myself in the roster list to show we're doing our last FET on May 2nd?
Lisa

[DebraP]

Lisa, sorry you've had the age card thrown at you. We realised we had the same problem when we looked into int. adoption too. There is a country (Ethiopia? Brazil?) that will look at an average of the 2 ages. Would there not be significant savings in flying to Guatemala vs. China?

Re. updating. Copy the list (just find the most recent, highlight the whole thing and copy) and then start a new message and paste, overwrite/update the relevant line).

No idea re. my numbers. We're not testing again. The clinic don't think it necessary and the scan is at the end of this week. Except for sore boobs, I have no symptoms at all, all too easy to imagine nothing is happening.

Tammy, any sign of AF??

Kat, are you back yet???

hugs to everyone who needs one (that's all of us, right?)
Debra.

[DebraP]

Isn't this what most of us would have done, if we'd known it was possible?? in 5 years I suspect it may be commonplace. I can only console myself that when I had my tubes tied 15yrs ago, the procedure hadn't been started although I could/should have done it when I became single at 35, c'est la vie......


http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/fam ... 22,00.html



Debra.

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, hope everyone enjoys their weekend.

Tammy I hope AF shows up. I will do an extra jig today for you! I will start my next cycle when AF shows up ...but I think we are in for another long wait!!! Are you doing a long or short protocol?
Lisa, sorry to see the news about adoption and age. Things seem so unfair. I have updated your news on our list.
Kat, hope all worked out for you and dh. Did you go to Spain?
Debra, thinking of you and those levels... not long until your scan....hang in there x
Hi to Bev, hope the days are flying by for you.
Randa, hi, have you decided your next steps yet?

New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Debra - BFP 20 Feb. Scan 10th March.

On meds/about to start:
Diane - start meds 28th Feb.
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy for new DE tmt
Tammy- waiting for AF, IVF #2 March

Preparing:
Amfy - FET March/April
Bev- Off to Kiev end of March for tmt DE
Gail - planning March IVF
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Anna - Short IVF protocol in March/April
Lisa - FET May 2nd

Recent cyclers:
Caroline - natural FET cancelled Feb, failed thaw.
Sandra - (honorary 40+ member) BFN, hugs
Randa - BFN hugs
Caz - BFN hugs
Jo - BFN hugs

A bucket of PMA and big hugs to all
Bye for now
Anna x

[BevT]

Hi Debra,

I agree totally. It seems as though our age group fell fowl of the "you can have career and family - just put off the family till later. It'll be ok, cos loads of women have their babies later now". If I had known that my fertility would have gone off a cliff and that my eggs would be rubbish in my late thirties, I would have definately been more determined to have a family earlier. I guess it means that the generation of young women growing up now will have the benefit of this new technology and may well be able to freeze their eggs in their early 20's for use in their 30's or 40's. Lucky them eh?

However, I would also like to mention that we are luckier than our parents were, in their day, as there was absolutely no help then like IVF for girls who had fertility problems, or indeed men who had low/abnormal sperm. They just had to accept that they just weren't getting pg. I expect that they couldn't even get a diagnosis in those days. So, although it's a shame that we could not take advantage of the latest technology regarding egg freezing, we are fortunate that we at least have the technology to help us in other ways.

I guess I'm trying to convince myself that although I do feel a little bit bitter about not realising my eggs were approaching their sell-by date, I am trying to think that my cup is half full, so to speak, because there is help out there for me. Just hope it works!

Anyway, back to more happier topics. I am so looking forward to hearing the results of your first scan - is it this coming Friday. Sore boobs are a good sign I would say. Sometimes sickness symptoms don't kick in until 8 weeks or so. I've got a good feeling about you, and am wishing you all the very best for next week.

Anna,

thanks for the info re the 5 days for teachers. My DH is at an independant school, so not sure that it would be the same for him. He does get quite long hols - so they may think their staff don't need anymore. He has never mentioned this 5 day "personal days" during term time before - even when he worked in state schools. I have to say that he is a bit of a funny one, he really won't take time off unless he is absolutely "dying". He feels that if he's not there, someone else gets lumbered with filling in for him. He wouldn't even consider asking for time off a few years back for my nephew's funeral (killed in a canooing accident). I was SO angry with him, but he wouldn't budge and said he couldn't get time off unless it was immediate family. Grrrrr.....!

However, all that said, I think if we go for this initial consultation, he deposits "the boys" in the freezer, then it doesn't matter when they call me back for ET, I can go on my own. Not entirely happy, but he has compromised a lot over the last few years, from not wanting IVF at all, to agreeing for donor eggs!

Hey Kat,

have you been to Spain? What happened? Hope all's well!

Best get in the shower, I'm sat here "not looking my best". Just my luck, someone will knock at the door and I'll have to hide!

Love to all,

LOL Bev xxx

[teachertam]

Good morning all:

Lisa: I'm so sorry about the age thing. I did not realize that both parents had to be over 30. Is DH close to 29? I know they will let you proceed with the paperwork and homestudy prior to 30, and you just would have to be 30 before turning in your paperwork. I have been working on my paperwork since January. If he is close to 29, it would allow you to begin and just wait for 6 - 8 months to turn in your paperwork. I know it seems like a long wait, but it would also give you a little time to come up with funds so that you don't have to tap into your retirement accounts.

Debra: The airfare to Guatemala is much cheaper than to China. It is the government of Guatemala that makes it more expensive to adopt from Guatemala. They want a much bigger chunk of money than China wants.

Anna: Still no AF. I called my clinic yesterday and almost had a meltdown. I was calling to see if I could come in on Monday morning, if AF came later that day. She told me to call Monday morning. I informed her that if I called Monday, I would not get in until Tues. and that would be too late. I live 1.5 hours away from the clinic. Finally my doctor called me and said to call him over the weekend if AF came and he would get me into the clinic.

We are going to an adoption seminar all day today.

Regards,
Tammy

[Kat]

We didn't go to Spain.
I thought there was going to be more to it than just DH having flu.
All sorts of emotions came out that I didn't know about, things he felt about our relationship and how he feels about not being able to have a baby and how we have spent so much time, money, emotion and still got nowhere and how it has completely taken over our lives. I was angry, upset that he hadn't voiced this before but I know where he is coming from. I felt as though he had made the decision to stop trying without involving me. He says he has not made that decision but just how long do we keep going for? If he has the tests and we have another try and that fails, what then? Do we try again and again with all the heartache that goes with it?
Maybe we have come to the end of the road and I just haven't acknowledged it. We started trying to conceive when we were both 34, we are now coming up 41, perhaps we're both just exhausted. Is this relief I'm feeling along with the sadness?
Kat xx

[BevT]

Hey Kat,

So disappointed for you and DH. I can see where he is coming from, I have had similar conversations with my DH. Just before we went to IM for our consultation, DH said exactly the same thing, when do we draw the line. I'm not ready to do that yet, and we sort of came to the conclusion that if we did the refund scheme (3 x cycles for 30,000) if we hadn't succeeded at the end of that period, then maybe that would be the line drawn.

Have you spoken to Big J about the possibility of the sperm abnormality. I think her and her DH went through something similar. I'm afraid I'm not very up on it all, but she said something of tests she had done in Germany (different to the one they wanted to do at IM), which gave them a better idea of things with her DH. I wonder if your DH could get the sperm question answered, if you may then be able to come to a decision as to where to draw the line after 1, 2 or 3 (or whatever) more goes.

Obviously, these decisions can only be for the two of you. I feel for you at this difficult time and if you come to the decision not to try again, then at least you may be able to move on. The whole stress of this exhausting journey does take it's toll on us all, and I hope that you will have the strength to both come through it, with the right decision for you both.

Take care both of you, lots of love

Bev xxx

[LittleP]

Debra

Just wanted to pop in here and say "GOOD LUCK" for the scan next week - just in case I'm off the boards.... (wishful thinking!).

I hope everything goes well and look forward to seeing your news.

Take care.

Little P