The Over 40 Crowd

[Jo1962]

It's so hard to keep it all in perspective. I know I should be lucky to be alive, lucky to be living in this century, in this country, with a husband, a home, a job, no other major tragedies.

But nevertheless, I feel ...

heartbroken

devastated

furious

bitter

jealous

cheated

and many other things, sometimes all at once

If only we could have this NEED taken away from us ...

[taylorjools]

hello girls

I wanted to let you all know that I read this thread almost daily and that you are all in my thoughts. I am very sensitive to the fact that I am extremely lucky to be as far as I am, although we too went to hell and back before getting here, I can only encourage those who have decided to go on not to give up, and have total understanding for those who have called it a day.

I hope my news can be a little ray of sunshine on the horizon, we had our routine scan yesterday and we think to 80% that we have a little boy. We have a scan at the university next Friday 31st which is to look for any defects etc. I am still praying every day and trying not to think about all that could go wrong still. I bought some maternity trousers the other day and the shop lady gave me a pair of bootees as a welcome new customer gift - I gave them straight to a girl in the village with a newborn, I am too scared to have baby things in the house, even if sweetie has to sleep in a box for the first week!! I know you'll understand that.

You are all in my prayers

with love

Jules

[AMck]

Hi ladies

What sadness on the thread today. I wish I could wrap it up and take it away. Lots of difficult decisions to be made too. Sending extra strong PMA to those in need. I am feel proud to see the support you all give each other. Hoping for brighter times ahead.

Bev, a school trip voluntarily! Are you mad? Glad it went well for you and you enjoyed your day. Not long now until your trip...counting down the days for you x

Tammy, hope all went well today and you are at home resting up and being pampered! Hugs to you x

Gail, hope you are Ok and the days aren't dragging too much. fingers crossed for that BFP!

Welcome back Randa! Good to see you post. Good luck with your tmt. This will be the ONE!

Jo , will do a jig for you hoping to help AF on her way. Hope it comes on time. PMA to you.

Robyn, couldn't quite believe how your dr spoke to you. What a b***dy cheek. You are the patient who needs empathy, advise and above all understanding! Hope you are OK and have made a decision on your next step. Hugs to you at this tricky time xx

Hi to Kat, Debra, Lara et all..

Our list
New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05
Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Lara - BFP, history of m/c, hoping all OK
On 2ww
Tammy- ET Wed 22nd March test date ?
Gail - ET Tues 14th March test date 28th March?
On meds:
Anna - started stims 21st March, short protocol.
Randa - started bc pills 22nd March for April stim
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Preparing:
Bev- Off to Kiev 30th March for tmt DE
Jo - 2nd IVF cycle esd 28 March
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a medicated FET after April AF
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step

Have had a little play about with the list, put it in some kind of date order. Hope it's Ok and nobody minds
PMA to all here
Bye for now
Anna x

[robyn]

Hi Thanks for all your words of encouragement.
Jo I have been throguh EC and did it w/o any anesthetics and it wasn't bad.
Kat, such a shame. There arne't any words I can say. I am quite shocked considering you are one of the young ones here. On your signature it says you and DH are 40. I know 6.5 years is a long time but...
I don't know bout adoption but i am starting to think about that lately. I have to find out the legal parameters. I am American living in the UK and my husband is English. We might not be able to adpot in the US and I think we would be to old here in the uk.....anyone know about this. Then i toss around the idea of a DE this way it could be genetically one of ours but i think there could be resentment on my part. I have a headache and just feel the need to curl up in bed. I have decided to go ahead with EC So it is Fri 24/3. Looking at ET Mon 27/3 then the dreaded 2ww. I came home had a good cry and spoke to a friend who has unsecessfully been through IVF and she says i have to take every chance cause if I didn;t go ahead i would have 0 chance and if i do try i have a chance no matter how small of a chance it is still a chance so there you go! I have to do the pregnyl tonight and you know the rest. I just hope and pray for a ray of light for any of us! Tammy, how did it go? Gail how r u? and all the rest
Anna and Randa hope you get loads of follies. sending u follie fairy dust.
Bev, wishing you a good and sucessful trip. Bless you all.
Robyn

[032323]

HI ROBYN

I AM SO PLEASED THAT YOU'RE GOING FOR IT!!!

GOOD LUCK - HOPE THIS IS THE ONE !!!!

CAZx

[Alette]

hi girlz,

being a mom for more than 4 months now (our son Koen was born on the 17th of November) I am going to join you again.

We have 3 frozen embys in store and since I am 42 now, I do not have a lot of time to wait. Appointment for April 18 in the hospital, to check what to do...

I know my chances are low (first IVF 5 frozen and non of them survived) but I would like to have my embys back!!

I am not updated yet.
Did read about Debra though.
Debra, you are in my thoughts, it is not fair!!

love for all of you, waiting, hoping, praying or grieving

Alette

[BevT]

Good morning Alette, welcome back - although I wasn't around when you were here before. Congrats on your lovely son, what an unusual name. Good luck with your appointment!

LOL Bev xxx

[DebraP]

Tammy - how are you feeling today? when is your test date?

Jules - I'll pm you but congrats.

Anna - you were right, yesterday felt like a 'down' day for me at least. Today is slighly better but I didn't expect the cramps to still be so strong on Day 4. The list looks great, thank you.

Lisa - how are you? we've not heard for a long while now. I hope you're working things out.

Randa - I hope your being off board is a good thing and you're really busy and getting ready for your tmt stim cycle?

Robyn - I googled UK adoption rules and a tonne of info came up. You might want to start with your local authority's website as that's where you'd need to start. Good luck with EC tomorrow.

Alette - welcome back! I started to try for No.2 when DD was only 8m so I can see why you'd want to get started again. How is sunny Holland? a darn sight warmer than here I bet. We've suddenly started flinging ourselves into 'find a holiday' mode a week before Easter which is terrible timing. Our local airport doesn't have many direct international flights and so I suspect we'll end up staying at home.

Hi to everyone else reading this.
hugs
Debra

[teachertam]

Good morning girls:

I was reading all of the posts from yesterday. I hope everyone is feeling a little better today.

Alette: Welcome back.

Robyn: I'm glad you are going for it. DH and I are not as stressed about this IVF. The reason is that we have a back up plan. We will proceed with our Chinese adoption, if we get a BFN. I still have 4 frozen eggs, but I don't know what the chances are for a 41 (almost 42) year old and frozen eggs. I will probably proceed with the FET but that will be our last try.

Kat: I hope you are having a better day today.

Jules: Do you have a name picked our yet for your son? I already have baby clothing for our baby. Since we know that the adoption will be a sure thing, I have been getting clothing off the clearance rack. My sisters and niece all work in retail, so they get me great deals.

Gail: How are you doing? When is the pregnancy test?

Lara: How are you doing? Did you take the HPT yet?

Bev: You must be getting excited. You will be off to Kiev next week.

Anna: How is the stimming going for your? Do you have your DH give you all of your shots?

Randa: I'm glad to see that you will be starting a cycle in April.

Jo: You will be starting stimming next week. Good luck to you.

Yesterday, my ET went well. We transferred 5 embies back. Three (3) were at blast stage and two (2) were still at morula stage. My doctor wanted to tranfer all 5, so that is what we did. I go to the Dr. tomorrow for a uterine lining check and then the pregnancy test should be 4/03. My good friend has a baby shower on 4/07. If I get a BFN, I don't know how I will be feeling about the shower. The progesterone shots are getting old! I guess it is a small price to pay, if I get pregnant.

Take care all,
Tammy

[gailbunny]

Hello all

I havent had much time to think today re 2ww as I have been at hospital this am with DS for eye tests-he has got to have glasses, bless! He is slightly short sighted but I think they suit him. Then this pm we took him to visit a private school (as he is verbally bullied at his state school). He really liked it and were expecting to have to wait to find out if they would take him but they said he could start straight away if he wanted. My DS was ecstatic and cant wait till Easter is over so that he can start there. DP said that now all the news he wants is a BFP and that would be the icing on the cake. 28th is not that far away is what I told him, unfortunately I am not too convinced that it will be good news.

Robyn: Glad you are going for it. Keep up that Determination! and Good Luck tomorrow hope EC goes really well.

Kat & Debra hope you are both Having better days

Jules: Great news re Son hope next scan goes just as well.

Lara: How are you doing? Have you done HPT yet?

Bev: Hope packing is going well off to Kiev next week.

Anna: How is the stimming going?

Randa: Good luck with cycle in April.

Jo: Good luck with stimming is it next week you start.

Alette: good luck with FET

Gail

[gailbunny]

Well Ladies hope you are all well and doing fine today.

Mine is a BFN gave way to HPT test so now I am off to find a job as this was last try. Not sure I could cope with DE. Not only that my consultant said she would run with me and really what I need is a hysterectomy so thats makes things pretty final for me.

Regards
Gail

[lara]

Gail, what a drag, I'm sorry hun. Is that it or are you going to test again a bit later - you never know. I know what you mean about DE, it's not really my bag for some reason either.

Kat, sorry it's so rough for you, so very rough. Sending you (((hugs)))

Way to go Jules, very glad.

Anna, good luck with the stims, hurrah!

Bev, if I miss you before Kiev, break a leg! Everything's crossed.

Tammy - excellent result, all the best sweetie.

Robyn, bon courage, well done, have faith and believe it can happen for you!

Jo, get that stimming going, go for it.

Debra, massive hugs to you, I mean that.

I've been to my stepfather's funeral, done 12 hour work days, now I've gotta pack for South Africa and run down to Heathrow. Back Wednesday. I've had a virus and feel rough, man. I don't feel so hungry and pg any more. The HPT was positive (did 3 in the end) but the lines were faint - it's hard to have PMA - I dunno, I just know I don't want to get too disappointed - I really lost the plot last time. Still, whatever happens happens, and I'll still breathe in and out no matter what - whereas poor old Mum's bloke isn't!

See you Wed everyone, be thinking of you sending you PMA

Lara xxx

[robyn]

I just came home and i am so sorry to read sad news, Gail massive hugs to you honey.

Lara are you flying today to SA? My DH is flying out of Heathrow this evening to JoBurg, he'll be back Tues.

Well i am quite surprised from the EC. I just came home and am quite surprised and dissappointed. The rt side is where I was told there was nothing happening actually had a follie that had an egg. The Left side where I thought there were two follies didn't have any eggs. End result is one egg. Now I have to hope and pray it fertilizes. If all goes as planned I will have ET sunday 26/3.
I am just accepting the fact that it won;t work this cycle. I have an appointment in NY For 18/4 and will discuss treatment options. I am starting to consider DE. I am racking my brain on asking someone in the family. There might be a cousin. My neice is still to young. DH and I have to talk things through and decide if we feel we can approach our relatives.
Anyway I cna't wait until tomorrow I will just keep praying!
I wish I had a result like you Tammy. I really hope you get a BFP. When is your test date?
All the best to everyone else!
Robyn

[DebraP]

Going off the board for a few days, feeling too low and really don't want to come on here and do nothing but whinge all the time. Suddenly the tears are here and I feel very sorry for myself. It's minus 10 and snowing and I've totally had enough. It's so bad as to make me question why I'm here. I love DF and we have DD but 6 months of dark, very cold, icy, snowy a year gets to you after a while. We've explored our options and we really can't move elsewhere, this is it. See? I'm wallowing again....

Gail, so sorry about the result. Hug.

Robyn, best of luck on Sunday. Tracii just got a +ve with only one. It happens.

Lara, I hope that line darkens and you start to feel more optimistic. I totally understand your caution.

Wishing everyone the very best.
Debra.

[erjumper]

Stayed away from the board for a week I believe it was. Just finished catching up. Was really hoping for some good news although who am I kidding.....i'm as low as i've ever been and just feel numb so it wouldn't have helped anyway. I can't think straight, I only get out of bed for work or to take a bubble bath and I can't bring myself to talk to hubby or enter the room we were preparing for our foster baby. I've been trying to get an appointment with a therapist both for me alone and for DH and I together but they are all booked up, away on vacation or don't take our insurance. It's like that old addage...."Suicide hotline...can you hold please?" Sorry I don't have it in me now to be supportive, optimistic, helpful or even sympathetic. I've crossed over to the dark side of a place i've never been before and i'm just hoping for the lights to come on soon. It's frightening and lonely here.
Lisa