The Over 40 Crowd

[robyn]

Lisa
My heart just goes out to you! I am just wondering if you ever heard of Dr. Alan Beer? He has studied immunology and genetics and specializes in cases of recurrent pg loss. If you haven't heard of him it is worth a google search. If you have already heard of him i'm sorry for butting in. He is based in Chicago (I think). try this link

http://repro-med.net/index.php

read the section re: five categories of immune problems that can cause pregnancy loss, IVF failures and infertility

I hope you feel better soon and I wish you happiness in whatever decision you make. (((((Massive hug!!!)))))
Robyn

[teachertam]

Lisa:

Your post made me so sad. My heart goes out to you! Please keep trying to get an appt. with a therapist. I was at a very bad place in my life 3 years ago, after a very horrible breakup with an ex-boyfriend. I found therapy to be a lifesaver. The therapist will validate your feelings and is a neutral "sounding board". Things will be better, trust me!! Please try to find things to take your mind off of your situtation with DH. Pamper yourself. Go out with friends. Plan a get away with some girlfriends.

If you want to talk, please do not hesitate to post or email me. I will check the postings later this evening.

Please take care of yourself!!!!!!!!! We care about you!
Tammy

[robyn]

Lisa
I am so sorry, I confused you with someone else. As far as therapy I really hope you continue to try to get that appt. Esp if your husband is willing go as well. It also might be a good idea for him to go on his own.
A ray of light will shine. we are here for you
robyn

[AMck]

Hello ladies
just popped in to update the list, am saddened by so much heartbreak on this thread. Lisa, you are in my thoughts and prayers as you find your way through the darkness into a more positive state of mind. Therapy seems to me to be the best way to go. I hope you are able to get an appointment somewhere soon. Hugs to you x

Debra, my heart goes out to you also. Take time to look after yourself. thinking of you x

Robyn, keep the faith! PMA to you. It only takes one! I truly hope your embie is a fighter and all goes well tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Lara, hope all goes well in SA. Glad to see the test was positive. Sending you a load of PMA. Se you Wednesday.

Gail, so sorry to see your news. Please take care of yourself and dh.

Hi to Kat x

Bev, your trip is getting ever nearer. Wishing you luck on your journey!

Hello to Alette, I have addded your news to our list. I hope you don't mind. Good luck with this cycle.

Our list
New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05
Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Lara - BFP, history of m/c, hoping all OK
On 2ww
Tammy- ET Wed 22nd March test date 3rd April
Gail - BFN, hugs to you
On meds:
Anna - started stims 21st March, first scan 27th March
Randa - started bc pills 22nd March for April stim
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle est start date 28th March
Preparing:
Bev- Off to Kiev 30th March for tmt DE
Jo - 2nd IVF cycle esd 28 March
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a medicated FET after April AF
Alette - 3 frozen embies, apptmt 18th April
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step

I am stimming away here. DP and I have got a good routine going and injs are over in a matter of minutes. Not really sure what's going on in there! Don't feel any different. Should I be feeling anything? Have been injecting for 4 days. Also sniffing 3x a day. No chance of switching off and trying to relax! Hoping for some good news on Monday.

Hi to all lovely ladies on this thread. Sending a huge load of PMA to everyone.
Keep smiling
Bye for now
Anna x

[gailbunny]

Good look Robyn for your ET tomorrow. May the embie be good & strong.

Gail

[robyn]

Hi
I haven't posted sooner, I am having a horrible emotional day. The egg did not fertilize! The Dr. actually asked me to consider DE at a satelite clinic in Cyprus. On top of all this news today DH is away in S Africa and today would have been my moms 76th b-day. I am cosidering DE but not just yet. i have an appt at a clinic in NY on Long Island for April 18. I knew this cycle was bad from the beginning. I'm not devastated from that . I think I am more shocked that the Dr has brought up DE and I'm missing my mom. Life is so unfair sometimes. My mom died suddenly 5 weeks before my daughter was born so they never met. I had a bad feeling about this cycle after starting stims. I can;t say i regret going for it cause had i never tried i always would have thoguht this was the month. The only thing I am sure of is I won;t be having any further tx at the present clinic. Time for a fresh start with a new DR and different perspective with a different approach. I just hope there is still a chance for me with my own eggs.
I will still look in on the board from time to time. I can;t wait to hear some good news from Tammy, Anna make those follies grow.
Sorry i didn;t mention everyone but i am thinking of you!
Gail sorry for your result.
Pma to all esp ME
Robyn

[teachertam]

Hello Girls:

Robyn: I'm so sorry that your egg did not fertilize. Did they try ICSI? I'd say it is time for a new clinic also. Did you use the long protocol? My Dr. said that if you want to get more follies that the short protocol (without Lupron) works better. With my first IVF, I only got 3 eggs. We used the same protocol this time. I think I may have rushed the 1st IVF. I started right after a failed IUI. With the 2nd IVF I waited two months.

Anna: Glad to hear that your stimming is going well. Try to relax. I don't know it that helped me or not, but I was much more relaxed about his cycle.

Gail: So sorry to hear about your negative. Do you think that you tested too soon? My friend tested a week too soon and her test came back negative. A week later she tested positive and is due in May.

Bev: Good look in Kiev.

Lisa: I hope you are feeling better.

Debra: I hope you are feeling better.

Lara: Have you gone to the doctor to get a blood test?

Take care all,
Tammy

[erjumper]

I wish this site had live chat. Although our time zones are opposite one another anyway. Husband left to go party with friends as he's tired of my crap so i'm sitting here alone in the dark wishing i'd never married him. I was perfectly happy when it was just me and my PUG.
Lisa

[randa2006]

Oh Lisa,
I hate to think of you sitting alone and feeling so abandoned.
You are in a tough predicament for sure.
Is there a wise, older woman in your life that you could turn to for objective advice? You shouldn't have to try to solve this on your own.

Robyn,
So sorry to hear about your egg. You must be gutted. I can't remember, have you mentioned your fsh level? What are you at? That might help you decide if you should attempt more with your own eggs. Glad you already have an appmt for next step and that it's so close.

Gail,
Sorry about your negative. Will you test properly anyway just in case? My clinic really scolded me about early tests bc they said that the urine testing can be wrong especially if even a day early. And you tested pretty early.
Why are they saying you need a hysterectomy?

Lara,
So glad that your hpt was positive. Come on! We need all the good news we can get and that's good! Urine tests are so fickle, but not with false positives! This is real!

Anna,
Good luck with your stimming. If it helps... I never felt anything either. All those injections (seemed like hundreds) and the most I ever felt was an occassional hot flash at night. I did, however, end up with some successful egg harvests, so don't despair. Just be glad you aren't feeling irritated or moody or swollen. You are doing fine.

Bev,
Not long now! How are you today?

Hi Alette! Welcome back! Baby #2 on the way for you!

Debra,
I pm'd you. Hope you got it. Thinking of you, Sweetie.

Hi Jen, Kat, Amfy, Jo and BigJ!

My EC/ET is set for late April. I hope I don't regret going again so soon. Boy us older gals are really in between a rock and a hard place, huh? Go too soon and we might fail to stim. Wait another month and we are THAT much older plus wonder if we missed a good batch the month before. Feels like poker. Some skill involved, but it really boils down to what cards you've drawn.

[robyn]

at my original cons in Oct my fsh was 8.4 at the first cycke it was 9.1 and only had one egg. This cycke fsh was a bit higher at 13 and two follies grew but only one egg. last time at least the egg fertilized on its own this time it was with icsi.
Robyn

[BevT]

Hi everyone,

Been unable to post yesterday, as went to Ideal Home Exhibition and left house at 8am, back at 7.45pm, out again at 8pm to friends for supper, back again at 3am. So so tired. AND my arms ache like heck from carrying stuff around all day yesterday. Still, had a good time - just can't take the pace like I used to.

Robyn, I am so sorry to see that your one little egg failed to fertilize. I hope you are able to decide what to do next. Thinking of you at this devastating time.x

Lisa, sending you big hugs, you sound so alone and DH doesn't sound as though he is trying to make things any better for you. Sometimes men can be so ...........!!! I bet he has gone out and left you alone because he feels guilty about the pain that he has caused, so going out is a cop out. Hope things improve for you soon.x

Gail, sorry to hear your bad news too. Is this definately your last go, or do you have any other options open to you? Sending you hugs too.x

Lara, I am hoping and praying that your BFP stays with you. Keeping my fingers crossed, and am wishing that you have some news soon, are you booked in for a 6 week scan - must be about that now are you?

Anna, good luck with your stimming. I am keeping everything crossed for you for a bumper crop of follies. Will you have EC during the easter hols?

Randa, good luck with your tmt, you must be due to start in the next couple of weeks?

Thank you everyone for your good wishes for my trip to Kiev. My Dh was so funny last night at our friends', he had a bit to drink (I know, bad for the sperm!) and was announcing that he was off to Kiev next week for a w..k! Fortunately, by that time of the evening the last "hangers on" all knew of our latest quest - so we were able to laugh about it!

I am getting excited, but keep having to tell myself that this may not work (only going for initial consultation at this stage anyway). I am realistic, or at least trying to be, and I know that IVF does not work for everyone anyway, but the donor tmt has got to be our best shot so we must follow the dream and hope we get there in the end.

I really hope that all the girls on this thread that are having such a hard time at the moment manage to start coming out the other side soon, particularly Lisa and Debra, and Gail and Robyn. Thinking of you all, lots of love
Bev xxx

[randa2006]

Robyn,
Your fsh level is better than mine by a long shot. (15 a year ago. I'll know in a day or two what my new reading is for this year.)

I could be wrong, but I thought this was an indicator of our ovarian reserve (number of eggs left). If I am right, then your issue isn't with amount of eggs you have, it might be with the protocol. Perhaps they haven't pinpointed the best formula for stimulating what you've got. What if the eggs are there, they just aren't accessing them. Are you on the highest dosage or are they being conservative? Again, this is my theory based on my understanding and I could be all wrong. I'm on the highest dosage of everything and I get about 6-9 eggs per round and that's with an fsh of 15. We did cancel one round due to only 3 eggs, but in hindsight, we should have stimmed for a couple more days because we've learned that things can change drastically if you give it 48 more hours.

This is all so delicate and I'm sorry if I appear to be challenging your doctors. I would hate for you to give up before you've turned over every stone, that's all.

[AMck]

Hi ladies,

Our list
New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05
Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Lara - BFP, history of m/c, hoping all OK
On 2ww
Tammy- ET Wed 22nd March test date 3rd April
Gail - BFN, hugs to you
On meds:
Anna - started stims 21st March, first scan 27th March
Randa - started bc pills 22nd March for April stim
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle est start date 28th March
Preparing:
Bev- Off to Kiev 30th March for tmt DE
Jo - 2nd IVF cycle esd 28 March
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a medicated FET after April AF
Alette - 3 frozen embies, apptmt 18th April
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step

Robyn, sorry to see your news. Thinking of you. x

Hugs to Lisa. Hope your Sunday was Ok.

Bev, hi, yes, if all goes according to plan ( a BIG IF!) I will be on for EC during the school easter holidays. So I won't have to think up any excuse to be off work. Fingers crossed!

Randa, thank you for your message. I am still a bit paranoid that nothing has happened as I have had absolutely no side effects whatsoever. Only time will tell....tomorrow is the day!

PMA to all
Keep smiling
Bye for now
Anna x

[gailbunny]

THankyou all for your kind words.

Robyn so sorry to hear about your egg. Big hug and hope all goes well with whatever you decide.

As for me it is definately a negative as my mothers day gift was my AF. Cant get more negative than that.

My consultant who is very good said that my FSH levels (of which I dont know the level) shows that I went into menopause very early. Both tubes are totally blocked due to sterilisation (therefore totally ireversable). When we had first IVF we were told that we would only get one go due to my FSH. However because we got 6 eggs from that cycle of which only two made it my consultant said she would let us have another try. Hence this cycle but in one year we had only three eggs and were on 600 menopur which I believe to be very high dose and less eggs. THis result will only prove to my consultant that she is right and that my ovarian reserve of eggs is next to none.

My right ovary is the better looking of the two ovarys and only produced one folicle. My left ovary is not easily accessible and is very badly scvared and this produced most folicles. So I cannot see another run being allowed.

Topped to this I have endimetrosis and apparently a couple of other womens troubles too and so have been advised by the consultant what is actually required is a hysterectomy.

However she did say that none of the womens troubles would stop me being able to carry a baby. Therefore she wouldnt do this op until I was totally satisfied with the outcome of IVF.

She did say that if we could find a donor then we could try again. My problem is that I am not sure I want to try donor. Not sure I could deal with knowing who the donor is ie family as this is apparently the only way I would get a donor. Otherwise it could be many years.

So I know this is the end for me.

Good luck to everone else though, I hope all your dreams come true.

At least I have my DS, I just feel very sorry that My DP wont ever have a child of his own.

Regards
Gail

[BevT]

Gail honey, have you thought of going abroad for a donor? There are several clinics in Europe that you do not have to wait for a donor (probably 6 - 8 weeks). I know you say that you are not too sure about donor eggs, but in Europe the donation is anonomous, so your fears about knowing the donor will be irrelevant. It is a big thing to decide upon, but if you do want to explore it further, pm me and I will tell you what I can, or there is Jules (Big J) who is 20 weeks pg with an "ISIDA baby" (Kiev!).

The cost in Spain is quite high, but I am off to Kiev on Thursday for my initial consultation and the cost there is much more affordable. As I said, if you want to know more, I am happy to chat.

Take care,
LOL Bev xxx