The Over 40 Crowd

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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DebraP
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2784
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 4:40 pm

Post by DebraP »

Anna, here's your lovely list and I've amended my entry.

Darby, welcome and well done on your bfp.

Lara, how did the scan go today?

New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Lara - BFP, history of m/c, hoping all OK, scan Thurs 6th April
Darby (DE) - BFP

On 2ww:
Tammy- BFN hugs to you
Jules - blood test 3rd April
Yasmina -FET 30th March test date?

On meds:
Randa - started bc pills 22nd March for April stim
Jo - started flare cycle 27 March - 11 follies!! EC Fri 7th April

Preparing:
Bev- DE cycle in Kiev, waiting for AF
Anna - off to Barcelona 3rd May for tmt DE
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a natural FET after April AF
Alette - 3 frozen embies, apptmt 18th April
Caz - start bcp 16th April, stimming in May for 5th cycle
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step
Robyn - ?
Gail - considering DE tmt abroad
Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Sponsor
 
AMck
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1401
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:26 pm
Location: Surrey

Post by AMck »

Hi ladies, hope everyone OK today

Jo, hope EC goes well and you are soon at home resting up and being pampered. When is ET?

Yasmina, hope the 2ww is flying by. Good luck for a BFP!

Many congratulations to Darby. You must be thrilled. I am interested to know where you went for your DE tmt.

Hi to Lara, how was the scan? Hope all is OK x

Debra, sending you extra strong PMA. x

Randa, haven't seen you news for a while. Are you Ok? Is everything going according to plan with your tmt? When do you start stimming?

Jules, are you there?

Our list
New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Lara - BFP, history of m/c, hoping all OK, scan Thurs 6th April
Darby (DE) - BFP

On 2ww:
Tammy- BFN hugs to you
Jules - blood test 3rd April
Yasmina -FET test date 12th April

On meds:
Randa - started bc pills 22nd March for April stim
Jo - started flare cycle 27 March - 11 follies!! EC Fri 7th April

Preparing:
Bev- DE cycle in Kiev, waiting for AF
Anna - off to Barcelona 3rd May for tmt DE
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a natural FET after April AF
Alette - 3 frozen embies, apptmt 18th April
Caz - start bcp 16th April, stimming in May for 5th cycle
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step
Robyn - ?
Gail - considering DE tmt abroad

PMA to all
Keep smiling :)
Bye for now
Anna x
Me 44, DP 42 ttc 3yrs
7 cancelled IVF cycles during 2005/6
ED tmt at IM June 06 BFN
ED tmt at IM July 06 BFP
Matthew born 23/3/07
lara
Regular
Posts: 104
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2005 10:32 am
Location: London

Post by lara »

Hi wonder women

This is going to be hard to write.

Yesterday I went for my scan, as some you have very kindly asked about. I said to the radiographer that I didn't want to look at the screen, and she joked and told me not to be silly - she's very nice, she knows my history but I think she was being positive. So I didn't look, and then almost immediately she said, oh, it's fine you can look, and she turned the screen to face me.

I looked, and I said, but, can you see a heartbeat?

She turned the screen back, and said she thought she'd seen a heartbeat, but then she spent ages looking and looking and getting me to cough and all that, but no heartbeat.

So I freaked out crying, ran out of there, and that was that.

It's all over, end of the line for me.

I think you're all amazing, and I wish you every success. I think at my age, 44, it's best to go for DE. I respond well to the drugs, the eggs fertilise, the embryos grow, I get pregnant. And then they die in the uterus - because they're old eggs and chromosomally damaged.

Anyway I'm gutted, and I can't face going for the D&C and sitting there with all those pregnant women and pictures of foetuses on the wall, so I'm going the Kat route and however long it takes it takes.

My DP is a therapist and wants me to go on antidepressants because everything that's happened in the last 18 months and mashed me into a pulp and I find it hard to cope on all levels.

Good luck everyone, I love you all, but I'm not going to log into this board any more because it's all over for me and I don't want to be reminded of this ever again - you understand. Take care,

Lotsa xxxxx Lara
Kacey
Newbie
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:38 pm

Just as I expected!!

Post by Kacey »

Hi guys-thanks to all of you that have responded!
Yes a BFN!! Got my results yesterday.It was really hard to deal with. Still don't know how to handle the cost issue.
I am a little confused at the mo. I will go for a follow up next week sometime and get them to answer some of my questions.
Why didn't they consult with me earlier to tell me that the cost was going to sky rocket for the treatment that i was going to be on??? Where do I find more money! Do I consider India??

Kx
032323
Regular
Posts: 313
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 8:37 pm
Location: UK

Post by 032323 »

KACEY I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU!!

YES YOU ARE RIGHT THEY SHOULD HAVE LET YOU KNOW OF THEIR COSTS UP FRONT - BUT YOU ARE LIKE MANY OF US SO KEEN TO GET GOING AND HAVE A BABY THAT A LOT OF QUESTIONS GO UNASKED - AND I FEEL THAT THEY PREFER YOU NOT TO KNOW MUCH SO AS YOU CANT GET INVOLVED AND QUESTION ANYTHING!! I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE REALLY EASY IN ALL OF MY IGNORANCE!! AND ONLY REALLY STARTED TO GET CONCERNED AND EXPLORE THINGS AFTER MY 3RD FAILED ATTEMPT.

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A VERY EXPENSIVE CLINIC THAT YOU ARE USING AND I WOULD ASK THEM ABOUT SUCCESS RATES BECAUSE I WOULD THINK THAT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE PAID THE SUCCESS RATES MUST BE VERY HIGH!! IF NOT THEN WHY SO COSTLY? - I KNOW THAT THIS Q WILL NOT HELP YOU NOW BUT OBVIOUSLY IF YOU CHOOSE TO TRY AGAIN WITH THEM THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHY THE COST IS SO HIGH. MY CLINIC CHARGED ME FOR T/MEN T AND DRUGS AROUND 4 THOUSAND POUNDS AND HAVE A 37% SUCCESS RATE FOR ALL AGES WHICH IS FAB - JUST IN CASE YOU NEED SOMETHING TO COMPARE TOUR CLINIC WITH. I DID CONSIDER CHANGING CLINICS AS I AM ON ATTEMPT 5 BUT THEY HAVE HIGH SUCCESS RATES EVEN THOUGH IT HASNT WORKED FOR ME YET AND I HAVE BUILT UP SUCH A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM PLUS THEY ARE RIGHT ON MY DOORSTEP.

I THINK YOU NEED TO GET YOUR QUESTIONS TOGETHER BEFORE YOUR FOLLOW UP - LISTEN TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY - THEN DO SOME RESEARCH ON THE COMPUTER ON OTHER CLINICS IN YOUR AREA - SUCCESS RATES ARE NOT UP TO DATE ON THE COMPUTER SO YOU WILL NEED TO RING THEM FOR THAT OK.

I AM SORRY IF I HAVE GONE ON A BIT AS I KNOW YOU ARE FEELING PRETTY SHIT AT THIS MOMENT BUT IF YOU WANT TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS ASK AWAY - WE ARE ALL HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BAD TIMES AS MUCH AS WE CAN.

CYBER HUGS TO YOU!
CAZx
me 44 dh 40
6th icsi - ET 1 FEB - BFN
(3rd transfer)
BevT
Regular
Posts: 312
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:16 pm
Location: Lincs, UK

Post by BevT »

Lara,

I don't know if you will be back to read this, but I am absolutely gutted for you honey. Reading your post, I thought for one tiny moment, you were going to say that there were two heartbeats, but then to read that there was none, my heart really really does go out to you. Been there, done that, know exactly how you feel. If you are strong enough to go on, and are going to look at DE, then there is plenty of help out there for you to make the right decision re which clinic etc.

I really do hope you are able to come through this latest tragedy, and we will see you back on the boards, love and hugs to you and DH. Look after yourself, thinking of you.

LOL Bev xxx
4 m/c
Precious daughter stillborn @ 32 weeks
2 x IVF with own eggs
Now turning to DE tmt end of May.
BFP 13th June 06
Blessed with beautiful son William born 23rd Jan 07
randa2006
Regular
Posts: 583
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 7:32 pm
Location: Seattle, WA

Post by randa2006 »

Hi Ladies,

Relationship issues have had all my spare time and attention. Things on the mend.

Lara - you'll probably never read this but I'm so sorry.

Tammy - I see you got a negative. I'm so sad to read that also.

My tmt has been pushed back two weeks (my request). Start stims late April.

Does anyone know if Debbie had her baby?

Thinking good thoughts for our group.

Randa
Randa
Me 44, DH 40
ttc 0, went straight to IVF
1st EC = Feb 05, 5 frosties, no transfer attempt
2nd EC = June 05, cancelled
3rd EC = Sept 05, 4 frosties, no transfer attempt
4th EC/ET = Feb 06, 3 transf., BFN
5th EC/ET = May 06
erjumper
Regular
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 1:31 pm
Location: Pennsylvania, US

Post by erjumper »

To all of you looking at success rates as a way to gauge the quality of an IVF, please be aware that there are no real guidelines for how their rates are reported. There is so much left to their interpretation that these numbers are notoriously inaccurate often due to absolute deception. Also, some clinics, usually the ones that offer money back guarantees or 3 for 1's etc. Only take young women....under 40 with only certain theoretically fixable fertility issues. In other words, they hedge their bets. It makes their numbers look really good but the clinics who are whole heartedly trying to help the tougher cases, the older ladies, etc. have worse looking numbers. Unfortunately there is no real way to tell who the best is. Educate yourselves, question everything, know what is being done and that everything IS being done PROPERLY. Make it a rule to take notes and research everything they tell you. Kacey, i'm truly sorry for you. Lara, if you stop in again. You KNOW that I know exactly how you feel and with May 2nd rapidly approaching I fear that I will once again have a repeat performance. The thought sickens me but it's what we've gotta do.

Someone really needs some good news on here. We all deserve it so much. This just sucks!
Lisa
Me-41 DH-28
IVF's
#1 m/c 5 wks
#2 BFN
#3 m/c 9 wks
#4 m/c 8 wks
#5 m/c 5 wks donor eggs
#6 FET BFN
Kat
Regular
Posts: 665
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 5:12 pm
Location: Chessington, Surrey, UK

Post by Kat »

Lara, if you do read this, know that we are all thinking of you. Sadly too many of us have been where you are and know how you feel. If you ever need to talk, you know where we are.
Take care of yourself
Kat xx
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
BevT
Regular
Posts: 312
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:16 pm
Location: Lincs, UK

Post by BevT »

Hi everyone,

Anna, I have just seen on the list that you are off to Spain for DE tmt early next month. Must have missed that when you posted. Good for you, and good luck. Which clinic are you going to and are you going to have a "spring break" for a few days while you are there? Weather should be really nice then.

Hi Kacey, so sorry for your BFN, especially as you have paid such a lot for a failed tmt. Some clinics do sound a bit too financially orientated. I know that they are in it to make a profit, but they should have told you about all the hidden charges before you began. Hope you can carry on if that is what you decide. Kacey, whereabouts are you from? Sending hugs. x

Hi Darby, so very pleased for you that you have your BFP. Wishing you a happy and healthy 8 further months.

Jo, have I missed your news about your EC?

Any news from Jules (no. 2!)? Did I miss your news from your test date 3rd April?

Yasmina, not long to wait now for your test date. Two more "big sleeps"! Wishing you loads of luck.

Randa, sorry you had to put your stimming date off. Nearly half-way through April, so not long to go.

Caz, we stayed at the Atlantic, about 14 yrs ago - wonder if it has changed much? Hope you have a good holiday. Not long for you before you start also. Good luck with it.

Kat, good to hear from you. How are you and DH coping at the moment?

Debra, when do you anticipate your AF this month? Wishing you lots of luck with your FET.

bit quiet on the board at the moment. Hope everyone is doing ok, especially our girls who have suffered disappointments recenlty. Hugs and special thoughts to you all.

Just been ringing around this morning, trying to organise my day 5 scan to see if this cyst has gone, and measure the endo thickness! Not much luck so far. All the clinics I have spoken to so far have not been very helpful. My own, QMC at Nottingham, have said that they probably can do it, but as my day 5 may fall over the Easter weekend, further bloomin complications! It seems that some of the clinics don't want to "take responsibility" as I am having tmt outside the UK. Great. Still, my options are not quite exhausted, there is a company called "Pro-scan" who apparently can do it for me, but if I need BH or Sunday, they will charge more. What a surprise. In Kiev, I paid £30 for an ultrasound (more detailed than I had seen before), a consultation and then a further mock transfer the next day. In the UK they want £100 - £200 just for an ultrasound. Oh well, I will keep phoning to see what I can come up with.

I think it's the UK's fault we hopefuls are going abroad, the service we get here even when we are paying for it, leaves a lot to be desired. And the waiting lists for donors - well, need I say more.

Anyway, Hi to anyone that I have not mentioned, I have lost touch with the board recently, having been away. Am trying to catch up on everyone's news though.

LOL Bev xxx
4 m/c
Precious daughter stillborn @ 32 weeks
2 x IVF with own eggs
Now turning to DE tmt end of May.
BFP 13th June 06
Blessed with beautiful son William born 23rd Jan 07
AMck
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1401
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:26 pm
Location: Surrey

Post by AMck »

Hi ladies, hope everyone had a good weekend

Kacey, sorry to see your news. :( Take care of yourself and dh...Your clinic do sound really expensive. Could you try a different one for your next tmt?

Big hugs to Lara, take care, we are here for you if you need us xx

Randa, hope you are Ok. Not long before you start stimming, we are almost half way through April already. Good luck x

Hi to Kat and Lisa x

Hi Bev, good to see you back. Yes, we are going for DE tmt. I have an apptmt at Queen Mary's (my clinic here) tomorrow to conclude our tmt. I am hoping they will hand over all my medical records so I can take them to Barcelona on 3rd May. I am not looking forward to dissecting, again...why things haven't worked out for us. Would much rather just put it behind me and move on, another emotional day ahead :lol:
I would love to spend a few days in Barcelona (have been there before) but as a teacher have no such luxury. Will need to think of a good excuse to take a day off. Will fly out Tues eve, fly back Wed eve and then back to work on the Thursday. Hopefully my boss will be none the wiser....I do feel a migraine coming on!!!! We are going to the IM (Institute Marques) Don't check my spelling on that though.
Hope you can organise your scan soon. Good luck. What is your schedule now?

Jo, how are you? Have you had ET? Sending positive vibes and babydust to you on your 2ww.

Yasmina, nearly there. Hang on , not long to go. Will be watching for your BFP!

Gail, have you decided on your next step yet? Good luck

Our list
New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Darby (DE) - BFP

On 2ww:
Tammy- BFN hugs to you
Jules - blood test 3rd April
Yasmina -FET test date 12th April

On meds:
Randa - end of April start to stim
Jo - started flare cycle 27 March - 11 follies!! EC Fri 7th April

Preparing:
Bev- DE cycle in Kiev, waiting for AF
Anna - off to Barcelona 3rd May for tmt DE
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a natural FET after April AF
Alette - 3 frozen embies, apptmt 18th April
Caz - start bcp 16th April, stimming in May for 5th cycle
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step
Robyn - ?
Gail - considering DE tmt abroad

Keep smiling girls, :) we will get there!
PMA to all
Bye for now
Anna x
Me 44, DP 42 ttc 3yrs
7 cancelled IVF cycles during 2005/6
ED tmt at IM June 06 BFN
ED tmt at IM July 06 BFP
Matthew born 23/3/07
Kat
Regular
Posts: 665
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 5:12 pm
Location: Chessington, Surrey, UK

Post by Kat »

Just a quickie as I have to go to Sainsbury's -
Anna - you will have no probs getting all your info from QMH, Nick gave me a copy of everything from my original referal letter from Epsom right through to the notes from our final meeting. And they always note things like 'Kathryn got rather upset' Of course I bloody did what do they expect??
Take care all, food aisles beckon....
Kat xx
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
DebraP
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2784
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 4:40 pm

Post by DebraP »

Lara, I know you're unlikely to read this but I'm so sorry.

Bev, AF is showing signs earlier than I thought. I guess a poss. FET ca. last few days of April. I'm not taking time off nor altering my routine this time. I only work part time so work isn't a stress.

Mentally, I'm gone from all this already. It's a huge relief. I haven't felt this 'divorced' from wanting another baby for over 2 years. It feels a bit strange but also better than before. I held a new born today and was totally fine. I wobbled on Friday when an IVF girlfriend announced she was 8 weeks pg naturally, I'd have been a month ahead of her and it would have been so much fun to share pregnancies. C'est la vie.

Bet no one else is still looking at falling snow eh?
Hugs and best wishes to those brave enough to be going through this.
Debra.
Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Jo1962
Member
Posts: 40
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 11:49 am
Location: Fleet, Hampshire

Post by Jo1962 »

Hi ladies

Huge hugs to Lara - I know exactly that feeling. I howled the hospital down when it happened to me... So, so sorry, my dear.

I went for egg collection on Friday. Christ I hate GA - for some reason it is INCREDIBLY painful when they put the stuff into my arm - something to do with me having narrow veins. I nearly squeezed the poor nurse's hand off and went under groaning in agony!

Good News: They collected TEN good sized eggs from me - and one other that was immature.

Bad News: DH's sperm sample was very poor on this occasion. Last time it was 12,000 which was excellent. This time it was only 2,000... The embryologist came and said it was a toss-up for them whether to do ICSI or not, but decided to leave things be - the sperm that had swum up through the medium were moving strongly and, as last time I had achieved 75% fertilisation, they knew there was no probs with binding etc.

More Bad News: only 4 eggs fertilised...

GOOD NEWS: The embryo transfer was yesterday. One NINE cell embryo (is this good or *too* good? I'm not sure... anyone??). One FIVE cell and one four cell.

(I was hoping for some frosties, as we can't afford any more full IVF attempts, but that is not to be...)

So... now it's up to anal suppositories, baby aspirin and nature! I know it's only a slim chance. I just don't know how I'm going to come to terms with things if I get a BFN this time too...

PREGNANCY TEST 24 APRIL. FINGERS CROSSED!!!

I'm off work for the 2ww (time off in lieu; I have been working huge amounts of overtime) and have a list of nice things to do including painting another new picture (a recent hobby which I am really enjoying); a bit of light gardening; lots of long walks; trying out new recipes etc.

Big Hugs to everyone and all. I'm off out for a walk now. It's raining, but who cares...

Our list:

New 40+ Mommies:
Alette (own eggs). Son Nov 05
Jude - twins (DE) 05
Joy - twins (DE) 05
CarolineP - Daughter Nov 05
Squew - twins 05

Ladies in waiting:
Debbieed - own eggs, BFP August 05. EDD - April 06?
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 - EDD 15/08/06 praying hard
DPerry (Donna). DE. BFP July 05
Darby (DE) - BFP

On 2ww:
Tammy- BFN hugs to you
Jules - blood test 3rd April
Yasmina -FET test date 12th April
Jo - 3 embryos transferred 10 April. Test date 24 April

On meds:
Randa - end of April start to stim

Preparing:
Bev- DE cycle in Kiev, waiting for AF
Anna - off to Barcelona 3rd May for tmt DE
Amfy - FET March/April
Debra - Will start a natural FET after April AF
Alette - 3 frozen embies, apptmt 18th April
Caz - start bcp 16th April, stimming in May for 5th cycle
Lisa - FET May 2nd
Jen - Taking time out then, next IVF in May...
Kat - deciding next step
Robyn - ?
Gail - considering DE tmt abroad
Jo - 43; DH - 37 (Toy Boy!)

Natural Pregnancy Feb 2005 - MMC 12 weeks
IVF #1 Feb 2006 - BFN
IVF #2 April 2006 - BFN
We are considering calling it a day...
BevT
Regular
Posts: 312
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:16 pm
Location: Lincs, UK

Post by BevT »

Jo, good luck with your 2 ww! Hopefully at least 1 of the three will stick, sounds like they are all growing well and dividing. Fingers, toes, and everything else crossed for you.

LOL Bev xxx
4 m/c
Precious daughter stillborn @ 32 weeks
2 x IVF with own eggs
Now turning to DE tmt end of May.
BFP 13th June 06
Blessed with beautiful son William born 23rd Jan 07
Locked