Panic..the clock is ticking

becky · Post by **becky** » Wed Aug 06, 2003 5:54 pm

Girls...I need you to tell me that everything will be fine!! Just had my inhibin B results back and they told me that it is 83 and should be between 100 and 150 for 27 years..aparently 83 is normal for over 45 years.. They have told me not to wait around and get stuck into another cycle of something..advised me against ICSI again as little response to the drugs and they don't want to exhaust my ovaries. They suggest IUI but as DH has a count of under 1 million it would need to be with donor... I feel abit strange about the donor thing..really respect it and support others doing it..also us too but it feels so wierd when they offer you a match as it becomes so much more personal..why can't they just treat it like a pot of 'come' 'spunk' what ever you like to say not...6 ft dark hair..medium build and an architect?? I really feel that we need time to think about it all and not make any rush decisions..when I said this they said ok but dont leave it more than 6 months!! Don't know what to think as we were so happy letting the next few months slip by..having the odd test here and there..the coital thing and another urologist..hoping for a natural miracle..we have planned lots of weekends away..have the puppy..best friends wedding..new house to do up..a new car to buy..etc.etc...and then we would be in the right mind set for adoption..but now the whole picture has become a blurr again. any advice would be great...sorry to moan ..but I feel like I am going to explode..and feel this time it is just between me and dh and not family and friends as we would go down the donor route and would want it to be a secret. love Becky B

fi · Post by fi » Wed Aug 06, 2003 7:17 pm

becky, don't know what advice/help can offer. i can't begin to think what you must be going through at the mo. the prospect of donor sperm has come into our lives, we decided it wouldn't be for us, and that if it came to that it would be the end of the ivf road for us. why have they said no longer than 6 mths?surely you need time to think out your options. also what about 2nd opinions, and the use of a counsellor to talk it out with??? i hope someone on the site has been through similar and can offer you more support, suggestions and thought, from me though sending you the biggest cyber hug possible. hang on, luv fi XXX

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Thu Aug 07, 2003 7:53 am

Hi Becky. Am in VERY simiolar sitiuation. After first failed ICSI am sure doc today is gonna suggest ICSI We too have major questions about Donor sperm. Altho I think at the end of the day we will use it if we have to Funnily enough - I feel different about the donor information - I'd like more rather than less....because I'd wanna know that he had the same quakities as my dh. But I toally see where you are coming from, and I must admit that last time when we got to picking a donor I did freak out a bit when she read out " brown hair brown eyes, architect" (yes scarily we had the offered architect too) Theres a useful thread on life after IVF re Di -have you been on it?? Memory crap - sorry?! It would be YOUR child- have NO doubt about that. PLEASE let me know how you get on Caaazx

july ann · Post by **july ann** » Thu Aug 07, 2003 2:52 pm

hi girls have a look on www.dcnetwork.org they have some great letters from parents who have done di letter from walter is really good and answers all your questions. telephone no of donor conception network is 0208 2454369. hope it helps from july ann

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Thu Aug 07, 2003 4:33 pm

Hi girls Just to let you know that I went to the doc today and the subject of DI obviously came up He warned us that the rules on donor conception are about to change and most probably it will be possible for children born of Di to find their biological parents (at the mo its all totally anonomous ). He feels that this will significantly reduce the numbers of availble donors - so I guess it will be harder and harder to be "picky" about a donor. Which I have already found a problem to be honest. In terms of "dealing with telling or not telling the child ", his advice was you either tell them and everyone from word go - on the basis that its much easier to tell the child when its very young - but everyone will know are the child wont be able to keep a secret...OR.....if you decide to NOT tell the child - you dont tell anyone EVER. I see his point - it would be awful if it came out at the wrong moment from the wrong person I now feel in more of a dilemna than ever - am not even sure I can go thru with it -just dont think I'm brave enough. Help - bit depressed now!! Sorry to be so -ve Dont know if any of you guys know anything more about this regulation change on Di - if you do would love to hear. Thanks all Sorry to be such a moaner Cazxx

fi · Post by fi » Thu Aug 07, 2003 4:38 pm

how can you say you are a moaner, my god this is such a difficult time for you and dh, and not only that but so many dilemmas and issues. how would you feel about not talking to your closest friends and family, what about if anything ever came up, so so tough for you. just to say we are here if you need to chat, scream, cry or anything! love fi XX