Aussies and Kiwis!

Xrayem · Post by **Xrayem** » Mon May 15, 2006 8:45 am

Hi Suzanne, (Fellow brisbanite!!)

I know exactly how you feel - on every point! I got my bill today after a crappy day at work and it was $1000. Bearing in mind I got my BFN result on saturday, it wasn't the best mail to recieve.

I'm panicking now as I don't know how we can afford to do this over and over again. We have only had 1 IUI - its not even IVF! Why is it us tha have been chosen to be infertile?

I work in a radiology practice and I'm sick of asking 16yr olds if there's any chance that they may be pregnant and having them say "yes, but I'm getting rid of it anyway". Why does God (if there's one) give the gift of pregnancy to people who don't deserve it or appreciate it?

As for friends? None are pregnant but all have kids and they don't understand at all. They keep saying "Don't stress - i know so-an-so who tried for ages then stopped and fell like that!" Its alright for them to say that, theyv'e got kids.

The other line that gets me is: "if its meant to happen, it will" What are they trying to say? That I don't deserve a family? "Not meant to be" is cold comfort for me, I'm afraid.

I guess thats why I love coming here. I can vent my frustration and know that you will all understand because you're feeling it too.

As for your best friend, don't you feel selfish at all! Its her that should be a little more considerate. There is no way I could go shopping for baby stuff with a pregnant friend, I can't even stand to be around other peoples kids anymore - it makes me too sad.

Sorry for my rant too, but its only 2 days since my BFN, AF is really painful and my DH has gone to Darwin for the week working. Am feeling very sorry for myself and shall have to go get a a glass of wine.

Em

suzannes · Post by **suzannes** » Mon May 15, 2006 11:49 am

Oh Em, what a terrible day you have had - I wish there was something I could do to help. Enjoy that glass of wine won't you.

Maybe have one for me too, because I'm sure my current healthy eating, caffeine free & alcohol free state is not helping my current state of mind!

Xrayem wrote: The other line that gets me is: "if its meant to happen, it will" What are they trying to say? That I don't deserve a family? "Not meant to be" is cold comfort for me, I'm afraid.

The clincher for me was having a friend (who should know better) and is also pregnant, saying in a conversation (with myself and a friend who has a child already!) that infertility is just God's way, like natural selection and survival of the fittest, and that IVF is interfering with nature.

Xrayem wrote: I work in a radiology practice and I'm sick of asking 16yr olds if there's any chance that they may be pregnant and having them say "yes, but I'm getting rid of it anyway". Why does God (if there's one) give the gift of pregnancy to people who don't deserve it or appreciate it?

I was working in a maternity ward until a few years ago - how ironic huh? I'm glad now that I'm not nursing anymore, because I'm just not sure that I would be coping at all. Going to work would be torture, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you with those ungrateful teenagers.

Chin up I guess, we'll both get there eventually, minor setback is all.

angeleyes · Post by **angeleyes** » Tue May 16, 2006 12:54 am

hey guys, how are u all going? long time no see...........been so busy. I am now at the 20 week mark YAY halfway

times seems to fly. We had out big u/s last week and found out it's a BOY! (just what we wanted)

For all of you ttc don't give up, once it happens it's all so worth it! expecially getting to feel baby kick

so cool. we didn't succeed on our 1st go either, got lucky 2nd time round...............

talk soon
angel

bella-s · Post by **bella-s** » Tue May 16, 2006 11:50 pm

Em - I'm so sorry your news wasn't better this time. Your rant sounds exactly what I have been through with my friends & family. My brother even told me that with his 4 kids (!!), they found it easier to conceive when they were fit, and took longer (wait for it...) 4 months to get pregnant with their third cos they weren't as fit. Wow...4 months.... Not to mention the fact I was running 5-6km every day at the time he told me this....

I don't have any happy stories re the money - sometimes I think, now we are finally pregnant, of all the things we could have bought our baby, put in the nursery, family holidays etc. we could have paid for. But oh well - people get dished out a lot worse. Money is just money after all.

Take it easy & good luck with your next cycle.

Bella.

BelB · Post by **BelB** » Wed May 17, 2006 6:30 am

Hi all,

Em, completely understand where you're at, and very sorry to hear your news. I like to think of the first cycle as an (expensive) trial run, after this one the doctors are much better equipped in knowing how you respond to a particular treatment approach and adjust things accordingly. Next time around there will be an awareness that they didn't have this time and surely this will lead to better odds. I work in a regional public hospital, and yep, know those 16 year olds too. They usually greet me as I walk into work in the morning (once I can see them through a cloud of their cigarette smoke), eight months pregnant and whinging about whatever. Drives me BARMY. No advice to offer unfortuantely either, just know then when (not if) the time comes for you guys, you will be wonderful parents who will truly appreciate this little person and what they bring to your lives..

Angel, so glad that the pregnancy is progressing well, and congrats on your little boy!!..any names picked out yet?? Thanks for staying in touch with us all, I know when I'm on treatment it gives me a lot of hope to hear about positive assistive reproductive type outcomes, wonderful to hear news like this.

Suzanne, great to hear from you too. Know what you mean about healthy eating / living screwing with your head..never did agree with me terribly well I have to say!! Has AF reared her ugly head yet??, you must be keen to start the spraying I'd say..good luck with it all!!

We're all doing well here, am now 24 and a bit weeks pregnant, getting all very real, bought a new baby car seat yesterday as Annie is still in hers for a while to come yet. Annie has an ear infection and is on oral antibiotics, so that's not much fun, but hopefully she will be back to her bright and sunny self soon..

Take care all
Belinda

suzannes · Post by **suzannes** » Wed May 17, 2006 11:08 pm

No AF for me yet Bel, about 10 days to go, but because we were at the clinic for DH's TESA, and it's 35mins drive away, we picked up the Synarel so we're ready to go when AF finally does arrive!

Good news is the lab tech was able to identify viable sperm from DH's tissue straight away, so that's a relief, so they're on ice now waiting for us patiently! - Sorry, probably TMI, but there's not many places that you can get excited and share something like that!

Hurry up AF, we want to get started! LOL

DH and I said on my birthday last year that we'd love to be pregnant for my birthday this year. My b'day is the end of June, so we're on track nicely for that - crossing everything, and getting a nice dose of PMA into my head.

Have a great day everyone!

BelB · Post by **BelB** » Thu May 18, 2006 6:16 am

Hey Suzanne,
That's great news re. the viable sperm, and yep, this is definately the place to get excited about that!!! Make sure you let us know when AF rears her ugly head so thatw e can cheer you on for the cycle. I have a good feeling about this one!!
take care
B

Tiger · Post by **Tiger** » Fri May 19, 2006 8:36 pm

Hi!!!!! I am back, I am back, I am back on line

. So happy to see you all chatting away, you gals are

LOUD - hee hee

. Just excellent!! So much is going here I don't know where to start... I am really shocked that Richard Carlton has passed away though! how did that happen???

Suzanne, excellent news about viable sperm. You sound so positive, keep that PMA up to full volume girl!! I am dancing that special AF jig for you.

Belinda, so happy to hear that your pregnancy is going smoothly

. As for little Annie...pls give her big hugs from moi xxx. I really do hope she is feeling much better by now.....

Bella, hiya! You are so right about money, money is money after all hey. I just wanna say that you sound so happy and so confident. I feel good vibes coming from your way, I really feel it, yes I can

.

Hi angel, 20 weeks mark already. I hope your little bub is not keeping you up all night with his kicking and dancing

. Take care x.

Suzanne, I was aghast to hear about what your friend(?) had to say about infertility. I mean.... I think what was said is soooooooo NASTY

. `Infertility` my bottom, we just have fertility issues to deal with but we will over come it, yes we will.

Em!! you cracked me up with POTS thing

. On a serious note, money issue is a difficult one. When we first started this thread we had a chat about IVF & associated costs in OZ.... I think we figured that for full fresh IVF cycle, out of pocket expence was around $3,500....

Annette, hope all is going well for you. Do you have any plans for Winter break?

Since I started working I went back on BCP... it is amazing, I don't suffer endo pains at all now. I do despise my body for getting it so wrong. When I ovulate, I suffer pain. Now that I don't ovulate, I don't suffer any pain and so I am much happier...

Chat again real soon, Cheers, Tiger

Tiger · Post by **Tiger** » Fri May 19, 2006 8:41 pm

PS. If anyone is interested, our conversation on IVF costs... go to page 2/3 on the thread. Cheers, Tiger

BelB · Post by **BelB** » Tue May 23, 2006 1:04 am

Hey there Tiger,
Lovely to see you back on line, you add a certain energy and enthusiasm to our thread that I miss when you're away, so welcome back buddy!!! How is the UK coming along?, how is your flat / work etc?? WHat are your plans for the upcoming wedding anniversary?
Annie is much better again thank goodness, tehe antibiotics did the trick and we kept things pretty quiet for a few days which seemed to help as well. We just got back from a long weekend in Sydney which she really enjoyed, loved chasing the ducks at mum and dads and generally being spoilt rotten...
Take care
B

missmolly · Post by **missmolly** » Wed May 24, 2006 6:59 am

Hi everyone,

Have been offline for a while, so it is good to be back.

Wow! So much action on this thread! Bella & BelB - sounds like your pregnancies are going full steam ahead.

Tiger - i am glad to hear that you are settling well into life in the UK. Have you started your new job yet - what type of work do you do?

We just finished our frozen blastocyst cycle & ended up with a chemical pregnancy

In some strange way, it felt good to hear the words "low positive". At least our embies are trying!!!! We go back to see our Dr in a couple of weeks.

Missmolly

BelB · Post by **BelB** » Wed May 24, 2006 10:08 am

MissMolly,

So sorry to hear your news, but yeah, like you say, it means that your embies are working hard and in the right direction. Have you spoken to the doctor yet?, do you have any more frozen embies?, or is it straight back into a fresh??.. I always think that there are good vibes for a BFP after this sort of experience, might sound wierd, but kind of like your body saying "ahhhh, so that's what I've got to do?"...Worked for me with Annie's pregnancy after a miscarriage and I know my doctor was much more optimistic (as well as sympathetic for us) after this experience.

Take good care of each other
B

Xrayem · Post by **Xrayem** » Wed May 24, 2006 12:30 pm

Just popping to say hi and let you know I'm still around. We are taking this month off as it's my b'day (not yet freaked out by turning 30 but reserve the right to chuck a wobbly on the 28th should the need arise!) and also DH is travelling with work (Gladstone 2 weeks ago, Darwin last week and he left for Alice this am

). Thought we could use some adjustment time.

So due to start next IUI around 10th June. We decided to go with IUI's until end of the year, increasing clomid dose each try (if doc allows). There was a stuff up on the last bill and it only cost $600 which I still need to get a Medicare refund for. So not as expensive as we first thought.

Based on your figures, we have decided that giving ourselves the next 6 months on IUI, we will start a bank account for IVF funds so that if we have no luck and it comes to IVF as of Jan 1st, we have the funds to pay everything up front easily. If we are successful before then, well, wonderful!

Anyway. Have just had a glass of champa's after NSW won the State of Origin and feeling a bit silly, so shall go to bed.

Nite all,

Em

Tiger · Post by **Tiger** » Wed May 24, 2006 9:25 pm

Hiya,

Bel, glad to hear that Annie is doing well now. I am doing ok, long weekend for me this weekend.

Em, separation is such a *****. I could never get used to being apart from my husband while I was on tmt in Melbourne last year. That is why I am here instead of getiing back on tmt.　Your hubby will be home in no time.

MissMolly, hiya buddy. I am sorry about your news (fliggin IVF, could never be straight forward).... glad to see you here. You know we are always here for you. I started my work 3 weeks ago and I am loving it. Working in London is so different to working in Melbourne; actually hard to believe that I am working in London city. I see London's hop-on-hop-off sight seeing bus from my window at work when I look down onto the street with tourists on them,... it make me smile, I am not sure why.

Have a wonderful Thursday all, I am now off to bed.

Cheers, Tiger

suzannes · Post by **suzannes** » Thu May 25, 2006 1:26 am

Hi all.

Sorry to hear your bad news MissMolly - but you're right, at least your body is starting to get the hang of it and knows what to do next time - better luck for next time!

I'm glad you're back Em, sometimes you do just need some time to formulate a plan don't you. when we were at the clinic last week, the accounts person said when we were paying the bill that our health fund is one of the best for IVF - reassuring to know of course, but makes me really wonder how crappy some other funds must be! With the TESA, ICSI, storage fees, meidcation and everything else we will be almost $5000 out of pocket, so how bad must some other funds be?? I'm glad that you have a plan that you're happy with, we must keep our PMA huh?

I'm glad Annie's feeling better Bel - I can only imagine how hard it would be to be pregnant with a sick toddler. Let me know if you need a hand, we don't live too far away. Maybe we can get together for a playdate when we both have littlies?

Tiger, sounds like you are settling into London life nicely. My cousin and her hubbie have recently moved to London, so if you're needing a nice aussie couple to hang out with, let me know and I'll PM you their email address

No AF for me yet, due in the next day of two, so I have my fingers crossed. Keep dancing for me would you please Tiger??

After a routine eye test last Thursday, I found myself squeezed in to se a neurologist urgently, because the optometrist diagnosed me with intracranial hypertension. Apparently I should be getting splitting headaches, nausea and vomiting etc, but not the case. No symptoms for me. Jut waiting for an appointment for an MRI and MRV now, maybe I should use this as an excuse to come and visit you Em? He's sure though that it is idiopathic, so I'm not too worried, and trying to lose weight rather than take diuretics - they were essentially my 2 options, and the diuretics are contraindicated for the first trimester of pregnancy, so a non option for me.

The neurologist is writing a leter to our IVF dr, so I have everything crossed that he's not going to cancel our cycle until this business is all under control! I'll be pretty miffed if he does, and had a bit of a hissy fit and carried on when I got home on Friday night.

Thank goodness for my precious DH, he's such a gem. I really felt disappointed at the prospect that we might not get to start our cycle after waiting so long to get this close! especially after DH has just had to go through the trauma of a TESA, felt like I had really let our side down, you know what he said? "If I hadn't had a vasectomy 15 years ago, we wouldn't need IVF at all, so lets just call it evens and keep moving forward!". What an angel - how did I ever get so lucky.

Yikes - very long post - my apologies - if you've made it this far, you deserve a medal.

Happy Thursday everyone, the weekend is on it's way!

Aussies and Kiwis!

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