May Test Dates

DaniaBB · Post by **DaniaBB** » Sun May 14, 2006 3:21 am

Carolyn,

Thanks for adding my date. Sounds like you really took it easy for those 2ww. I'm a busy bee usually- always on the go. That's what I told my dh tonight I don't think in my life that I've ever spent 9 days in a row lying down watching TV or reading. I had no choice. Maybe it was a sign for me to slow down. How have you been?

Dania

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Sun May 14, 2006 12:05 pm

Hi Dania

Have been a bit up & down which I guess is understandable. I really started to grieve last Sunday as was spotting so much that I knew it was over. That was the worst day for me. My body had changed so much from a couple of days earlier that I just knew that it was over for me. Monday & Tuesday at work were very hard as felt close to tears all the time but just kept myself pretty busy. AF really kicked in Tuesday so by the time that I had the blood test and result on Wednesday, I already knew. We have not told many people at all - no family, just a few friends (mainly at my work) as was getting asked too many questions about trips to Dr/hospital. The hardest thing was when they were nice to me - it just tore me apart. I am pretty fed up but guess that I just keep telling myself that the odds are against it happening first time & I did ok on the stimmies so may be we will have other chances. dh & I had a long chat on Friday. He has been so fab. Bought me & my sister Robbie Williams tickets on Tuesday to cheer me up and then is arranging for us to go on holiday together for a week in June. Told me yesterday that he loved me more than ever. We are trying hard to make this pull us together rather than push us apart. We went to a charity bash on Thursday (after nearly pulling out) for kids with spinal injuries. That made us realise how lucky we are. Not gone out much this weekend just pottered around at home really. Went to DIY shop this morning - too many babies/children - which made me sad.

I feel like I become quite a different person during the two months of treatment. Really did not want to go out much which is so unlike me. I do feel that I can see the 'real' me a little bit more over the last few days. Dh said he could see it too at the Charity bash.

I guess that overall we are doing ok but mainly as we are focused on trying again - at least 1 more fresh cycle and we have 6 frosties. The only thing that really scares me is how hard it must be to try several times without any good news.

Anyway - getting very close for you now. Totally understand about being a couch potatoe - it is so weird when you are not like that at all. I had never ever laid around and watched so much TV/videos/DVDs. I am sure that it will be worth it for you & you will be sure that you gave it your best shot. Just 3 more sleeps to go.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.
Carolyn xxxx

Smita · Post by **Smita** » Sun May 14, 2006 7:06 pm

Carolyn,
YOu do such a great job of giving others support when you're going thru a tough time yourself.. Just wanted to tell you that you're a star!
Hugs to you sweetie..you'll get your dream.

smita

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Mon May 15, 2006 10:02 am

Hi Carolyn

Completely understand how your feeling.
After 2 BFN for me it is so hard and difficult to see others with babies and pregnant but we have to soldier on. In the first couple of weeks i was so upset and cried easily but its now been 4 weeks since our test and i feel better already and just want to get on with the next cycle.
I can't even begin to think "what if i don'd have one of my own" so the only way i can keep moving forward is to be positive

. I know it will work, it's just going to take some time.
Stay strong, we're here for each other

.

Love Jen x

DaniaBB · Post by **DaniaBB** » Mon May 15, 2006 1:08 pm

Carolyn,

Your strength of character is truly amazing. How you went to work and were able to deal with all your emotions. You gave it all you had I sincerely pray that your dream comes true- it will. This may be just a bump in the road. Your DH sounds really compassionate and loving. That was sweet of him to get you those tickets and planning a vacation soon.

I know its hard to decide who you share this with. We told our close friends and our immediate family. They try to be supportive but I guess they can't be expected to feel what we feel. So its hard to hear them talk about other peoples babies

I agree seeing pregnant women and babies makes me feel really sad too. I,too, don't feel like myself since the past six months. Its been such a rollercoaster. Its great to hear you felt like yourself at the fundraiser. It gives me hope.

I know what you mean- figuring out how many times will we go thru these cycles is difficult. I think you have a great plan and that is what you should focus on. Also take the time enjoy and share a great vacation with your DH. I'm sure that it will revitalize your energy even more. One thing I am convinced about these challenges that we live through is the bond we develop with our DH and how that strengthens our relationships- other couples may never experience that close of a relationship.Your dream will come true- you deserve it!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE MAY TESTERS!! KEEPING FINGERS CROSSED FOR ALL OF YOU!

Dania

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Mon May 15, 2006 8:36 pm

Smita, Jen and Dania

Thank you for all your kind words - that means a lot. I felt that I was doing ok but had a bit of a down day yesterday. Too much time on my hands to think about things. dh took me out to our local wine bar and he said something relatively harmless and I just feel apart. Much better today as just had to get on with it at work. Shame that our dh's bear the brunt of it. AF finally disappearing which can only help.

Smita - guess that my way of getting through this is to try to be helpful to other people - certainly stops you wallowing & feeling sorry for yourself. I have loads to be thankful for and most of the time I try to focus on that instead of the down stuff - it gives me really hope when I seem that your dream came true

Dania - you should be worrying about yourself not about me! You only have a couple of days to go & have had some journey since ET. I really really hope that you'll get the result that you deserve. Hope that you are looking after yourself and not over doing it. BFP for you. We are going to stay with my parents in June and think that I might confide in my Mum. Hard to know what to say over the phone and so would rather do face-to-fae if I can

Jen - Have read lots of your posts on October thread. I know that you ladies have had so many ups and downs. Have seen all the strong, positive talk of third time lucky and sure that this is going to be the time for you & Ms Jones!

Like you I feel best if I have a plan of action. May be we will even cycle together next time - do you know when that will be?

So today I have arranged to go for an intro acupuncture session this Thursday. They specialise in infertility and assisting alongside ivf. I am going to give up my massage/nails and use the money on the acupuncture instead. Have ordered special combined vitamens from Zita West - godess. Am investigating a nutricianalist also. Decided that I am going to give it an even better shot next time!! Have started diet to try to lose the 1/2 stone that I added thanks to treatment so at least I start at same place again. So feel like I am pulling myself together.

Thanks so much for all your kind words. Love this board!

Carolyn xxx

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Mon May 15, 2006 9:25 pm

Sorry to have to update our list for Ellie. Have not seen any news from Kelly, Bharti or Toni Ann but let me know if I missed.

Certainly need some more

2nd May -- Prissy

4th May -- Gail

8th May -- Sasa

8th May- kellye
8th May -- Bharti
8th May -- Melissa

8th May -- Shannon

10th May -- Carolyn

15th May -- Toni Ann
15th May -- Ellie

17th Nay --Dania
18th May -- Jaqui (bucko)
18th May - Lucy
22nd May -- Kate
late May -- Kelly

beth · Post by **beth** » Mon May 15, 2006 9:53 pm

Carolyn ~ sorry to hear you have been so down. It sounds like you have the right attitude. You have been a HUGE support on this board, you are an ANGEL. (if I could find the right smilies, I would put one here.) Thank you for being you.

I am not on your testing list, but I wanted to say congrats to all the smiley faces, and hugs to the sad faces.

I am still in shock over my +ive. I really prepared myself for bad news. I still have lots of yucky AF feelings and a whole new set of worries have invaded my mind.
Patience and PMA are so difficult!

beth

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Tue May 16, 2006 7:48 am

Wishing all you "May-flowers" loads and loads of good luck wishes. Keeping everything crossed that you get those final boxes ticked.

Stay positive and full of PMA.

Little P

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Tue May 16, 2006 11:35 am

Hi Carolyn

Not going to know about the Big 3 until i go for my scan at the end of May. They want to check out my left tube first as there is some fluid in it. If all is ok i can start at my next AF, if the tube has to be removed then it could take a few months---am praying that doesn't happen although my Dr says it may be the best thing to do?????

More waiting

Keep your chin up girl, we'll get there

Love Jen x

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Tue May 16, 2006 12:07 pm

Hello All

Have added Beth's name below just so we have another smiley face as we were running very little short on smiles. Great news.

Have added Cyot to our list who tests in a couple of days and Natalie too.

Let's hope for some more good news over the coming days.

Love Carolyn xx

2nd May -- Prissy

4th May -- Gail

8th May -- Sasa

8th May- kellye
8th May -- Bharti
8th May -- Melissa

8th May -- Shannon

10th May -- Carolyn

14th May -- Beth

15th May -- Toni Ann
15th May -- Ellie

17th May --Dania
18th May -- Jaqui (bucko)
18th May - Lucy
18th May -- Cyot
22nd May -- Kate
24th May -- Natalie
late May -- Kelly

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Tue May 16, 2006 12:16 pm

Hi Jen

Sorry to hear that you have yet more waiting. Can tell from some of the posts which I have read that you were keen to get going as soon as possible. I guess that the drs do know best and may be it will help you get the result you so want if they do sort out the tube first. We can both form our plans at the end of this month anyway - at least will know what the next steps are then.

Bloody Bloody tubes. b

When they told us back in Jan that mine were totally blocked, they said that they might be able to operate but that could take some time to heal so suggested that we have a couple of trys at ivf (given my age) and may be go back to the op if unsuccessful. So many choices - normally bad versus terrible and so much waiting for all of us. Not sure as yet whether we will go for another fresh cycle or use the 6 frosties that we were lucky enough to get or have the op done. 2 weeks wait until we get to see the new consultant to discuss plans (old consultant just retired).

You keep smiling as well. Thinking that I might have to either join the over 40's group (birthday in 2 weeks time) which is inspirational but so very tough or the Phoenixes!

Take good care.
Love Carolyn xxx

pinkiestinky · Post by **pinkiestinky** » Tue May 16, 2006 2:40 pm

Hello All

I finally got my results...a day late...but it was a BFP

. I am so excited! Finally!

I want to thank EVERYONE for their support and well wishes. I guess after 4 - ivf icsi...and 3 different clinics...the embies finally hung on

.

For everyone that has been getting BFN..please do not give up. Trust me...I am 28 and young ...and I did this ivf process 4 times.

So keep your spirits up!

DaniaBB · Post by **DaniaBB** » Tue May 16, 2006 8:50 pm

Congrats Beth and pinkie on your BFP !!!!!

Carolyn- Sorry to hear your feeling down. I think speaking to your mum in person is the best thing you can do-you'll be able to share what you went through and she'll be able to support you through the next tmt.Try to hang in there, I hope you'll feel better when you know exactly what your next step is. Two weeks to go. Do something special for yourself in the meantime-you deserve it after all your courage to got thru this.

Jen- sorry to hear that you have more waiting coming up- it'll be for the best optimal chances so try to hang in there! Sending you +ve thoughts.

Loads of luck for 3 BFP to Lucy, Cyot and Jacqui on thursday!!!!! Only 2 sleeps to go.

As for me- one sleep to go- I'm keeping my fingers crossed very tightly!!!!
I'm still getting some mild cramping (on/off since saturday) not sure why.
Luckily my DH took the day off and we'll be together to get the news. We'll still be at the hospital since I have an allergy test to do to see if I might be allergic to the progesterone shot I'm taking.

Hugs to everyone!

Dania

nictor · Post by **nictor** » Tue May 16, 2006 9:00 pm

hi,im due for testing 18 may but today the 16th,ive started bleeding,its all brown and horrible,but am still trying to be optimistic....good luck to everyone,hope its all positives...

May Test Dates

may tests.

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