NEW YEAR buddies!

[christine202]

Hi everyone


Just to let you know that sadly it was a BFN for me. We are gutted at the mo, will bounce back we always do.

Thanks for thinking of me.

Luv to you all

christine xxx

[sue e]

Christine,

So sorry to read your news, thinking of you and sending you hugs

love

sue e xx

[Cla]

Oh Christine - I'm so sorry. Was thinking of you all weekend.
Sending hugs from across the miles.

Cla
xx

[lynne]

Dear All,
Sorry I've not been around much lately. I'm not having such a good time of it at the minute. The injections are fine and I'm even doing them without my beloved EMLA cream, but they're making me very emotional and completely knackered. This didn't happen last time.
I've just found a letter from my Grandma which must have been written 10 years ago ( she never put the date on her letters and she's been dead 6) and silly me read it. It has broken my heart. I read somewhere that there are 5 emotional reasons for not getting pregnant and I fall into every category. And here I am blubbing my eyes out. I don't think I'm helping myself really.
I've been off work since Thursday as I've had awful tonsilitis. It's not something I suffer from usually but it seems to be going round. I've also had a rotten cold. I'm going to do about 4 hours this evening and about 6 tomorrow, but Wednesday I need to be back on form. I'm not much good when I'm off work. Too much time to think probably. And the fact that it costs me so much to be off is driving me mad.
It's so hard to believe it will all work. I said to DH the other day, I think because I have spent so many years trying to get used to the idea I'll never have children I can't allow myself to truly believe it will work. I just can't picture myself with having what everyone else has. I want it so much and yet it scares the life out of me, because I don't know whether I'll be up to the job.
I'm not much good at sharing my emotions and I'm tempted to delete all of this, but I'm not going to as I know you will understand.

Christine, I really feel for you. I know what you must be going through right now.

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, have been away all weekend, just catching up

Christine, so sorry to see your news. Hang in there, it WILL happen for you. x

Kelly, according to our list you will have had ET today. Hope that's right? Hope it went well and you are Ok

Lynne, sorry to see you are feeling down. Hope you are feeling better soon and have got rid of your cold etc... Nothing worse than being ill when you feel emotional anyway. Hugs to you.

Sophie, not long now to start your tmt. Fingers crossed that this is the one.

Pauline, have a great time in Ireland. Hope QMH are on top form when you get your apptmt. Get those questions ready!!

- Eminde - BFP - Twins
- Stacy - BFP
- Cla - BFP - heard heartbeat! Next scan 1st June
- Sue-e BFP scan 10th May All OK! Next scan 7th July
- Souris - appointment 4th April to discuss next steps
- KellyL - endo scan 11th May ET @15th May
- Anna - DE cycle in Barcelona, waiting for AF
- Lynne - started injections 5th May, EC beg June
- Christine - test date 13th May
- Sophie - down reg on 17th May
- Lisa(Macca8) - cycle planned for July

Hello to all here. I'm on day 20, just waiting for AF to start my bc pills. Wait, wait, wait wait....it's what we are good at girls

PMA to all
Bye for now
Anna x

[Cla]

Lynne,

Just wanted to send a smile your way.
It's hard enough but when you're feeling poorly it just drags you down by both feet and leaves you down the bottom of some pit. It's very hard to claw your way upwards and by the sounds of it, you've got plenty of "stuff" in your way. Meds, cold, tonsilitis etc. Hearing "I'm sure you'll feel better soon" makes you want to punch the person square in the jaw (or maybe you're not as violent as me!) but as annoying as it seems, it is true. Hope the cold and tonsilitis goes soon and you can conecntrate on the meds then!

Take care.

Cla
xx

PS - here's that smile I promised!!

[AMck]

Hi Ladies
Just a quick post to say my AF came early so I start bc pills tomorrow. Can't quite believe it.

Eminde - BFP - Twins
- Stacy - BFP
- Cla - BFP - heard heartbeat! Next scan 1st June
- Sue-e BFP scan 10th May All OK! Next scan 7th July
- Souris - appointment 4th April to discuss next steps
- KellyL - endo scan 11th May ET @15th May
- Anna - DE cycle in Barcelona, start bc pills 17th May
- Lynne - started injections 5th May, EC beg June
- Christine - test date 13th May
- Sophie - down reg on 17th May
- Lisa(Macca8) - cycle planned for July

Hope everyone OK today. Hugs all round
PMA in a bucket to all
Anna x

[sophie]

Christine - so sorry to hear your news. It's so hard and so bloody frustrating. Sending lots of hugs your way. Do you think you will try again?

Lynne - Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. The whole IVF thing is so depressing. I have been feeling quite low for a while and although everyone says it's just hormones, it isn't is it? Its like diving off the top-board at the swimming pool and being in mid-dive - you don't know whether you are going to enter the water smoothly or with an almighty crash. What a horrid feeling. Just keep on talking. We have all been there in one way or another. I just feel like I'm thrashing about and drowning at the moment but I need to get back up there as I start another attempt tomorrow. IVF sucks.

Anna - I cannot believe AF has arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And early too! This is the first time this has happened to you since I first started chatting to you last November - wow!!! Let's hope this is a good sign of things to come!

I start injections tomorrow. Back on the treadmill yet again. (I too have a stinking cold)

Sophie x

[christine202]

Hi girls


Thanks for all your replies. It means a lot. Feeling a little better today. Af kicked in the next day after my neg result and has been really bad. Which I think made me worse.

Sophie. Good luck for tommorow. Be thinking of you. We are going to try again. But not too sure when. Need a little break from all the drugs. We have 7 embies left.

Anna so glad your af arrived. Wishing you loads of luck.

Hope everyone else is ok.

lots of love christine xxx

[lynne]

Hi All,

Apologies for my last post. I can't believe I was feeling so low. I think it's a combination of the down reg drugs, tonsilitis (which I haven't had for 15 years) and time off, which I'm no good at anyway. I'm slightly concerned because if all goes to plan I'm going to be off for half term the last week of stims so I'll be going mental. I do about 20 hours a week from home, so I'm going to try and increase that. Otherwise DH is going to get it in the neck as he is off as well.
My tonsilitis is much better. My nose is dripping like a tap today though. I don't start until 1pm so I'm trying to work up the courage to go and see my Mum. She doesn't live far away, but I only see her if I go down and by the time I finish in the evenings she is usually ready for bed. I haven't told her about this cycle as she was so awful about the last one. She rang me for the first time in 2 weeks the other day to tell me about someone I don't even know who's baby was due in 2 weeks. I was stunned. She isn't very subtle at the best of times, but this just took the biscuit.
Crisis averted............ she's going out. 15 minutes of a converstion about a gas man. I thought we were doing okay, then WHACK! "I was reading this article in a magazine about this girl who got pregnant, blah, blah, blah, cost £25,000 blah, blah, Natural Killer Cells, blah, blah." Aaaaaaaaaagh.

Sophie how are those injections going. I am learning to HATE mine. (think I need a post mother chill pill).
Christine, how are you feeling?
Pauline, howa re you?
Cla? How's that lovely bump?
Sue? How's your bumpd doing? I cling to you in the hope of believing that the Hewitt Centre does actually have a clue!!!!!!
Anna, how's the wait going? Have you any dayes yet? I bet you're really excited.
I'm off now to try out my new coffee and tea substitutes. Not having an espresso is killing me. Especially as the house is filled with it's lovely aroma because DH is addicted.
Greetings to everyone else.

[pauline69]

Lynne you don't need to apologise for being down - we all know what it feels like & it is good that we can come here & express our feelings without having to apologise.

I thought I was doing ok but then got an attack of thrush & rather than using Canesten (or some other drug) I'm using natural yoghurt - Why? well my mind is telling me that because I never did a HPT on my previous cycle & even though I've had two AFs since I could be pregnant - stupid or what? I think I'll just buy a HPT and see the negative there in front of me so that my mind can actually see it - 'seeing is believing' they say. Apart from that I have good days & bad days.

Anna, do you have a date yet for Barcelona? Good luck.

Souris, hope you are doing okay?

Hi to everyone else.

Pauline x

[souris]

Hello everyone!

I have not been posting for a while now as time as been hard after my BFN in Feb. But I have been reading all your posts regulary, sharing the pain for those who got a BFN and being thrilled for many of you who got a BFP!!

I am in limbo, again, that is why I stopped posting. For me the hardest is to wait... I just cant stand it. In 1 and a half year I had only 2 cycles, and I really wish I could cycle more often, it would definitely gives me a better chance to get pregnant!

My lovely Dh agreed on another sperm retrieval (the very last this time!) which is great. This should happen in September, because the clinic is closed for August and Dh is away for work until then. Our goal is to manage to go with a fresh cycle (as all the sperm died after being frozen last time) which is very difficult to arrange. My next appointment is in July 18th, so I will know more then.

I am a bit upset with my doc, because when i saw her in April, I ask her (if all is ok to go with a fresh cycle) if we could increase the drugs as i had only 5 eggs last time. (i got 13 on my first try). She said it was not many but enough, so i would have the same treatment. I am not happy with that, because it is our last chance to have ok quality swimmers and i would like as many egg as possible to multiply the chance to have a fertilisation (and some frozen embies would be a dream!)

I cant get dh to cut down smoking, and although I have told him it can make a big difference for his swimmers, he doesn't seem motivated enough

I think that's all for now. I am just counting the days until september (105!! ) I dont know if i am gonna make it!

Love to everyone, hug to Christine
take care
souris
xxx

[pauline69]

Hi Souris

Good to hear from you & know how you feel. I was lurking here for a while before I could post again.

You are lucky to have a DH who is willing to cycle again and September will be here before you know it and when you put it as 105 days that doesn't seem so far away. Try to enjoy your summer & hopefully DH will come to realise that if he cuts down he will give his swimmers a better chance as well as his health. I would also try to get your clinic to do something for you so that you increase your egg number/quality - I'm presuming you are paying for this so you really should have a say in what treatment you have.

Unfortunately I don't think we will be cycling again - at first when we got our BFN I was saying no way would I go through all again but now I would, it is my DH who said last time was it for us. I'm not saying anything to him or pressurising him but I am hoping that in time he will want to have another try.

Can't seem to wean myself away from these boards just yet so hope to see you posting again.

I seem to remember you were doing up your house in France back in January - how is it going (that's if I've remembed correctly).

Take care, Pauline x

[souris]

Hi Pauline, thank you so much for your kind words.
Yes you are right about the house! I am going there in July and Dh will only arrive in August. Although I will have my nephew with me, I will continue the work, but now only the painting and decorating is to finish. So all the hard and painful work is done, which is great!

I am so sorry that your Dh does not want to try again. But if he sees you unhappy, I am sure he will eventualy do the right thing for you.
On the day i got my BFN (Dh was away for bith cycles), I wrote a long email to him. He has never been with me during my treatments nor on the test dates and I really wanted him to understand how I felt. But before i could send him the email, I received one telling me that he would go through the sperm retrieval a last time!

I guess he just cant stand seeing me sad, if it was for him only, he would not have more children.
After a long talk, we decided to go for adoption:
1) I did not think I could face another BFN, and I can feel that my body doesnt really enjoy the treatment
2) We live in Angola, and you can guess that there are many children that needs a family and love.
I was really happy that we finally made up our mind.
Only to find out that to adopt when you are French you must be 28 years old min.!!
So no more choices than the IVF! I am actually very excited to start again, although I know it is going to be horrible. But I guess by keep on trying, It will happen one day!

Anyway, I really hope that you and Dh can agree on a solution that make both of you happy!

Sophie, I hope you are feeling better, and good luck with this new cycle!
Anna, are you in Barcelona? Or are you going soon?
Lynne, hope you are ok dear

Big hug to the new year mummies and their beanies!
Love
souris

[christine202]

Hi Souris

So glad to see you back posting again. I really hope everything works out for you I really do.
Thanks for the mention I am doing a little better and we are going to have another try quite soon.

Lynne Thanks for thinking of me. Glad you are feeling a little better.

Love to you all

Take Care

luv christine. xxx