Feeling very low!

[wannabmum]

I had my ER today - only 2 eggs retrieved. I am so disappointed. I had about 4-5 follies growing during this cycle. Not sure what happen. This is my 3rd cycle now. I am not very optimstic about this at all. You see, there were about 5-7 follies for my 2nd IVF cycle. Four were taking out, but none of them were either fertilized or survived. So there was no transfer. I am feeling very sad and disappointed, right now. I guess it's kind of premature, but the odds just does not look good. The coordinator will call tomorrow to let us know whether there is any fertilization taken place....

[kdc2006]

hi....im sorry you feel so low....it seems you have been through a lot... but at least you have some eggs....and it only takes the one.... i know its hard especially because of your past disappointments.....have faith in your self... i know its hard but as i said it only takes the one.... fingers crossed for you and i do hope you get the news you want...take care and please let me know how things go....k

[Sonix]

Hi,

Sorry to see you've been having such a bad time. It's so frustrating and disappointing, especially to see those numbers reducing so quickly after each step. But you still have your 2 eggs. So believe in yourself and just take one step at a time. I'm sure you will get there.

I'm waiting for news on fertilisation tomorrow too. This time only 2 follicles produced one egg. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for us both that it's good news.

Take care.
Son

[k-rose]

Sonix,
Same thing happened to me but both fertilized and I got one good 8-cell embryo and a medium grade 4-cell and they were able to transfer both. I'm still on my 2WW but will know tomorrow. Keep positive thoughts as it only takes one.

Kelly

[Tracii]

Keep up the PMA! During my 2.IVF I had only 2 eggs collected...I too was devastated and cried the entire weekend...only to find out only 1 fertilized...well I am now in my 15th week of pregnancy with my one little fighter It can and does happen!!! Rub your belly and think happy thoughts!

[wannabmum]

My ER called me this morning to tell me the news. Well, of the 2 eggs that were taken out yesterday. None of them fertilized. For some reasons, the sperm did not assimilate into the egg. I am just devasted and I am facing yet another disappointment in my life. I cried and cried all morning. Dealing with infertility is just another complication in my life. At this point, I feel there are not too many positive aspects in my life right now. I am sorry being so negative right now. With everything has happen in my life right now, it's difficult for me to be positive and look at the bright side. As the time goes, I will try to recover from this. I hope I can get myself out of this mode soon....

Sonix- good luck on your embryo. Hope lots of baby dust go your way.

Kdc2005, Traci, Kelly - thank you so much for your encouragements. I will be okay as the time goes.

[ogr1]

i am sorry.
and you are right all of this is hard.

have they said when you you could in and talk about what to do next?

[wannabmum]

Ogr1,

Thank you so much for your care. My RE told me that I can schedule a follow-up appt with him within next couple of weeks. Since I was so devasted yesterday, I did not make the call to schedule an appt. I will do it after the 3 day weekend.

I think the RE is probably going to suggest to us to look into the egg donor program. My husband is not comfortable with the idea. Not sure what our next step will be. I am still trying to make sense of all this and recover from it.

[Sonix]

I'm so sorry that it has not worked out for you and that you're going through such a hard time now. Take your time to recover and consider the next steps. When you're feeling really down, things can only get better - and they will.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. The best of luck to you.
Son xxx

[Moritsha]

Hi sorry to hear you've had an awful time. Have they suggested ICSI? Our hopes and dreams do get shattered but we have to try and stay positive. Just think - you did get eggs. Take care. Paulax

[wannabmum]

I had a couple of rest and did absolute nothing. I just felt so awful. Yestday, my husband encouraged me to get out of the house. We went to drove to the beach area. It felt good to not to think about for a while.
I am slowly trying to gain some sort of perspectives and hopes. I think that I need to come to terms with all of these. One thing that I might try is to see a Chinese herbalist. I heard from my friends that this might help to balance the energy and hormones in my body. With all the hormones and injections, I am pretty sure that my body is out of whack.

Sonix-

Thank you so much for your condolence. Hope to hear your good news soon!

Paulax-
Yes, all three of my ivf's were done with ICSI. My last ifv, one of the eggs did divide but only has 23 chromosomes. Apparently, the chromosomes from the sperm did not incorporate into the egg. I guess the ER would say that the quality of the eggs were not good. Also, it appeared that my follies were growing at different rate. They were maturing at different time. It was very strange. It started out with follies growing on my right ovary. Then the following week, the follies were matured more on my left ovary with one predominant one. I wonder why this was happening. I am going to ask my ER when we meet with him for the follow-up appt. I think I would like to take a break from doing the IVF cycle. I have already done 3 cycles straight with a minimal break in between. I think my body needs to be recoupe from all this. Not sure what our next step will be. In the meantime, I am going to restore my body. Wishing you the best with your 2nd cycle. How many eggs did they retrieve and how many were fertilized? How many were put back in?

Cammy

[Tracii]

Cammy - I am so sorry your cycle was abandoned...take time for yourself...it is completely natural to feel the way you do. It is encouraging you are thinking about next steps. My first IVF was a total failure...I only produced 4 follies, ovulated early and only 1 very poor egg was retrieved. Needless to say the quality of the embryo was horrible (they gave us a picture) so I knew even after they transferred it, it would not be viable. I was in shock to be honest because I am really healthy with unexplained inf. and thought how can this happen to me? I tried to do everything which would make the 2nd attempt successful. The first thing was get some answers from the clinic what happened and why the quality was so bad...I asked the dr. to put me on baby aspsirin for the 2. attempt, associated with my clinic is an acupuncturist/chinese medicine doc..so asked my RE about acu..he was indifferent but I did it anyway and I made some other fairly major changes...in short this is everything I did different:
1. baby aspirin
2. acunpuncture and chinese medicine....this is not an overnight cure and does take time for your body to become balanced...but I am convinced I would not have gotten pregnant without it. acu not only helps balance your body and hormones but brings blood to your uterus (more blood = higher quality eggs). The herbs taste horrible but you get used to them and it is all for a good cause If possible try to find acu doc specializing in infertility/IVF. I can recommend a great book 'The Infertility Cure'by Randine Lewis.
3. Detox diets...this helps clean out your body (literally gets all the garbage and toxins out of your body). With all the toxins in our food and environment - they put pressure on the liver ..if the liver doesn't function well then the hormones become unbalanced..better hormones create better eggs. The diets only last 7-10 days..but you really have to stick to it or it doesn't help...so not even a stick of gum or peppermint.
4. Focused on myself - rather then focusing on getting pregnant..I tried to do everything to better myself mentally and physically...this was the hardest..trying to pull myself away from prengancy thoughts...I took lots of very long walks in the fresh air.

I have felt completely devasted and was also looking into donor eggs...but a small miracle happened...and it will happen for you too!!!

[wannabmum]

Hi, Tracii,

Congrad on your pregnancy! Thank you so much for your kind words and advices. . It has been a long, hard road, but I am hanging there. About the Accup/Chinese herbs, I have heard that one of the reasons for infertility is that the bad blood pooled in the uterus. This was just something I heard from some of my infertile friends. They got this from their Chinese herbalists.
Now, I have some questions for you about the Chinese herbalist/Accup. I hope you will be able to answer some of my questions:
1. How long between your 1st ivf and your 2nd cancelled ivf?, and between your 2nd ivf and 3rd ivf? Were you under the Chinese herbs/Accu treatment since your 1st ivf?
2. I know you've mentioned that it will take a while for the Chinese herbs and accup to work. How long was your treatment? Are you still doing the Chinese herbs while you are pregnant?
3. detox diet - what sort of diet changes do you mean? I was reading about the Intestinal Candida infection yesterday. Since starting the ivf cycles, I seem to be proned to the vaginal yeast infection. Every time, while I was on the ivf cycle, my RE would put me on aspirin everyday and then on antibotic just before the retrieval. My RE told me that is because the PH changes in the vaginal secretion due to the hormones changes and the antibotic -killing off the good bacteria. So, I was reading about the yeast infection and found out that we can also get an intestinal yeast infection. I am thinking of doing a yeast detox to see if it works. Not sure if I should do this while doing the Chinese herbs though. The yeast detox will take about 2 months to complete the treatment.

4. It would be a great help, if you can share with me your detox diet. What did you do exactly?

I guess in some ways deep down inside, I am still holding on to a tiniest hope that I am able to use my own egg to become pregnant. It's a slime chance, but I think I owe it to myself to say that I have exhausted all avenues. I am going to try the Chinese herbs/Accup for a while to restore my body also my DH as well. It seems that we have two barriers to overcome - My low ovarian reserve and my DH's abnormal sperms.

Tracii, thank you again for your suggestions. I will check out the book you've mentioned. Please take good care of yourself.

[Moritsha]

Hi Cammy, how are you? Is it sunny in California just now? It's raining here - typical! We had 5 embies. 3 fertilized and only 2 were suitable to transfer. We had no frosties so this next treatment they're increasing my drugs. I asked my RE about asprin but he didn't really say to take it. How much did you take and when? In Britain if you're under 40 only 2 embies can be transferred. I'd want them all put back in! Take care. Paula x

[wannabmum]

Hi, Paula,
I am doing much better today. We had a BBQ with a few friends yesterday. Yes, the weather here is just absolutely wonderful. The sun is out and warm. They say it's going to get hot soon. Raining is just not fun. I will send our sunshine to your way!
About the aspirin, my RE started me on it on the first day of stimulation. The dose is 81 mg baby aspirin a day. I took it until after my transfer (1st ivf). It has been a while since my 1st transfer. I think I was still on it until I learned that I had a BFN, which was 14 days later after my transfer. Not sure what happen after that since I stopped all my meds after I learned the news. Also, my RE told me to take the prenetal vitamins starting from the 1st day of the stimulation. I hope this helps.
Yes, I heard about the 2 embies transfer in Britain. Is there any exception? For an example, my RE told me that his clinic is to do a 3-day transfer instead of a blastocyst transfer under a standard procedure, not unless there is a reason, like less than 3 embies. He was planning to do a blastocyct transfer if I had some fertilized embies, even with 3 embies. So there is always an exception. You might want to ask you RE what the exceptions are and see if you would fall under this criteria. Personally, I think the 2 embies rule is not an ideal. As I recalled from my disccussion with my RE, the chance of getting preg from one high-quality embie is about 15% (in US). Then, if you have 3 transferred, then you would increase your odd to 45%, which was almost 50. So, 50% of time you would get pregnant and 50% of time you won't get pregnant per transfer with 3 high-quality embies- 1 in two chances in preganancy assuming 3-high-quality embies per transfer. If you have less than 3, then your odd is less than 50%. Not too good, is it? I understand the risk of having multiple births and the risk for the mother as well, but when a woman is struggling to produce the fertilized quality eggs, I don't think it's just quite fair. I know I am in the catergory of poor responder to stimulation and poor producer and I am also under 40. I know for someone like me, transfering only 2 will reduce the change of getting pregnant to about 30%. Then, if the embies were not high quality. The chance diminishes as well. It is just difficult. I wonder what the chance of resulting in pregnancy from a 2 embies transfer is in Britain. You might want to ask you RE about it - the national average and his clinic specifically.

LOTS OF BABY DUST your way!

Cammy