Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

Inhale, Exhale · Post by **Inhale, Exhale** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:33 pm

Mornin Sunshiners!

Was really hopin that Littles would beat me to the mornin edition of good news.....
but she is not here yet........ must be celebratin!

I had a good morning... all is good with Baby Tough Nut. The baby has grown, has a great heartbeat (which we heard and saw) and even saw the baby move.. which the doc said is amazing because it is early for that... already an over-achiever!! Must take after Auntie Lola... I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted from me.. I am actually refering to it as a baby now, rather than an it. I am actually excited now!

I am very happy for my news, but oh so anxious for Littles..... !

Be back later!
Steph

lolajones · Post by **lolajones** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:44 pm

Steph I'm so pleased!!!!!
You must be so relieved !

Wow - a little baby

When is next scan, trickster? How many weeks are you? When is your EDD?????

Littles - I'm worried about you - please post. I hope everyting is ok???

I'll check in again soon

Lola
xxxxxxx

little R · Post by **little R** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:52 pm

Hi everybody,

Just briefly posting for my little R.

She hopes the scan of Steph went well.

On our side we had a BFN...

The hard part will be to persuade her she did nothing wrong and to try to accept that we don't know why it did not work...

6 months of unbelievable focus/work ruined in a few moment. Eg. she did not allow herself a cup of tea (which she loves) or a bite of chocolate, etc... for half a year.

She has so much love to give to that baby that does not want to come...
I am not sure we can continue like this...

She will post soon...

Thank you for your support, DH

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:55 pm

Steph thats great news

I hope all of us get news like you one day soon.

Big hug to Little R wherever you are. Hoping, praying and everything is crossed.

Love Jen x

lolajones · Post by **lolajones** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:58 pm

Littles I posted on your test thread.

I'm so sorry. Its so unbelievably unfair.

Check in when you can - we are here, sweetie

Lola
xxxxxxx

Inhale, Exhale · Post by **Inhale, Exhale** » Wed May 31, 2006 1:19 pm

Oh Little R-

I am so very sorry sweetie. Please don't think that you don't deserve this or that you won't get it. You are amazing. You deserve the best and your baby will come.

I think DH is lovely. Hold onto him for the strength that only he can give.

Crying for my Littles

Steph

Inhale, Exhale · Post by **Inhale, Exhale** » Wed May 31, 2006 1:40 pm

To the Tubers....

What crap! I can't believe our Littles got a bfn. The luck of the group was going to change.. we commanded it! I am very sad and mad for our girl as we all know the devastation she is feeling at this moment.

Cuddle Up girls... group hug around Little R...
But, we will keep on keepin on...... we will ALL get there! ALL of us!

Walsher- so good to have you back round these parts! I feel so incomplete when one of us sneaks away.. so the herbs sound downright gross and disguisting! But, if it helps, bottoms up! Although I recommend a quite different version of bottoms up...

We all know I likey a good drink! Have no fear luvs.... given up the ghost. Dh is counting the days until he can drink a cold one.. 4 more weeks!

Jens- house hunter extraordinaire! I look in my crystal ball and see Jen and DH in lovely new house with mini in the drive. Oh, what is that I see in the window... Jen jr... why, yes it is! Oh, how cute. Lucks with all your purchasing pleasure... although it cost more money than other pleasures, the satisfaction factor lasts a bit longer. Whoo- hoo!

LolaBean- Hows my girl from the hood? I don't know how you can concentrate with all this happenin. I am pretending to work as we speak.. My due date is Jan 9, the next scan is in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed mad style.

Little- we luv our Little!

Steph

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Wed May 31, 2006 10:06 pm

Oh, Little R, i'm gutted for you, i thought this was your time.

I must have been posting my good luck wish at the same time as your dh was letting us know the news.

We all know how you feel and are here for you anytime.

Buckets full of love, hugs and smiles coming over to you.

THIS IS SOOOOO UNFAIR.

Love Jen x

little R · Post by **little R** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:29 am

My lovely Octoshines....thank goodness you are there...because I truly need you more than ever...

I am writing to you all... but really I am rambling on....please please accept my apologies because I am a little overwhelmed and my thoughts are not very coherent at the moment, scattered to say the least...

This morning I don't know how I am still standing but I am....my head hurts like crazy from the sobbing (must be dehydrated at this point) and lack of sleep and my heart is broken ...however, my limbs have told me to get up and get moving and I am now in survivor/robot mode

and haven't shed a tear since last night.
Yesterday, I felt so horrible I just couldn't bring myself to post....just saying BFN in my head just hurt my heart too much.... so I let my beloved DH do the dirty work. I apologise for being such a coward, but I knew you would all forgive me...

I am sitting here in front of my screen and I just feel so empty.... so drained... so broken... and yet, I have to plaster a smile on my face and pretend that inside I am not gutted...
To keep me from hurling myself from my 24th floor, mentally I have put together a list of good things...that I will keep running through my head for the following weeks...
1. There is nothing wrong with me or DH...we are both healthy
2. We love each other more than ever and will survive this together... my DH has reiterated since the news that he has never loved me more than now and that even if we don't have children, he would still chose me as his DW
3. The doctor gave me hope yesterday.... we just have to wait for that "click"

(I have to keep a sense of humour about all this right?)
Just to say... the doctor and the embryologist were just as shocked as us....the doctor really thought it was going to work as everything was good... and yet... she said it's pure and simply bad luck...
The thing is...how much more bad luck can we take?

The thing that worries me the most..... is my DH.... I believe he is unwell and has taken the news very badly. He has never faltered (not once) and has always been my rock, but we've had a lot to deal with these past years (like you all): professional problems, the move to Dubai, all the failed treatments, the m/c, the awful situation with our previous tenants and the resulting court case and the death of one of our good/close friends (murdered in Zimbabwe...she was doing humanitarian work)... it's been a lot for him to handle and he has always put me and my feelings first. I think after bottling for over 3 years.... it's all coming out... Yesterday after the news, he seemed okay..and during the night, he was violently sick...he's running a fever and he cried... he has never cried in front of me...and that was scary.
So now I am plastering on my smile and PMA to try and help him...he can't stand me feeling terrible...
I feel doubly guilty...for not being able to give him the thing he wants the most and because when I express my sorrow it hurts him so much.
I am really worried about him.... anyhoo.... I am playing nurse now

.

THANK you all for your support and kind words.... yes, really desperately need (like those housewives!) a group hug

. Your words of encouragement and comfort soothe me and my heart. Thank you for that. Thank you for being there.

My ma left to go back to Switzerland this morning..... I really miss her and her loving presence... I actually may go back and spend some time with her soon....she's the best

Sorry about my emotions being all over the place....

Steph....what super dooper news... was so relieved for you.... take one day at a time... January will be here in next to no time... you will see. Please please stay in touch with us...virtual hugs to you and mini squeeze to little Steph

Jen... status on mini and houses please

You're one of those cool chicks with a great car

? How are you doing? Coping okay with your news...

Walshy/Angela... future lady of leisure

great to have your news...how's the kitchen going? Have more faith in your DH's talents

Good luck with those herbs...what we wouldn't do to get up the duff

Lola lass... how's the brain cramming going? You must have used up all your hard drive soon? Please can you give your dates again...I know it's pretty soon and want to send you PMA....

Love to you all.....thank you once again for being there....

Little R

little R · Post by **little R** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:52 am

Hey there Jen.... thank you very much for your message ... so sorry... just saw it ..I have responded

Lola, love... may be checking in later to ask you some questions if you don't mind... concerning what a FET entails...

Forgot to mention that I have 2 good frosties

(and 2 not so good..)...

Much love and thank you

Little R

Walshy · Post by **Walshy** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:05 am

Little R - I am so upset that you did not get the BFP that we all thought that you would. I know nothing that any of us say now can sooth your or your DH hurt. Take the time to cry, hurt and greive your loss. I know it is easy to blame yourself as we have all done that but believe me you couldn't have done anymore than you did.

Please know that we are all thinking of you sending our love and support for this time.

Please keep thinking of those little frosties that are awaiting for you to be put back in. A FET is, I found alot easier than what you have just been through and also alot less intrusive.

It seems like you and your DH have been through alot in the last few years and this little setback has affect your DH more than ever.

Maybe we could get all our DH to chat together like we do!! My DH never talks about our failed IVF's and doesn't talk with his friends as none of them are going through what we are. We all know what it is like to be able to come on here and express our feelings something that our DH don't may not have the chance to do.

It would have taken alot of strenght to type your last message but thank you for being so honest with us and yourself.

Steph - Thank God something is going right for us OCtoberoonies.....
Congrats on the scan.. I am happy that your little bub is floating around inside lapping up all the goodness that you are supplying it. When are you telling people or have you already told them?

To Lola, Jen and Camilla am thinking of you all......

Ok ladies take care, Walshy

Inhale, Exhale · Post by **Inhale, Exhale** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 12:17 pm

My Soul Sistas support group...

Little Gal Pal- My heart is absolutely squashed for you/with you. I know all about survival robot mode and it is an awful place to be. I think that the stress of the last several years is catching up to you and lovely DH. Take time to just be and to work through it together. Rant together, cry together. I think that your doc sounds tops and will work very hard for the click. One of your snow bunnies could just be sitting there waiting for sunny weather and a click! Also, if you apologize ONE MORE TIME about how you are feeling, I am going to send Demetrio over there to whoop up on you. (It will look like an episode of the Sopranos) You feel how you feel and this is the place to be honest about every awful, terrible, sad, funny thought that is floatin around your head! We luv you.. robot mode and all!

Lolers, Walshy & Jens- Hows the rest of the brat pack today? Don't you just luv a good roller coaster ride? Oh life.

You girls have been asking questions so I will answer, although I am very hesitant to write about baby.. I know that you are all very happy for me, but I also know how hard it is to hear about someone elses pregnancy when that is all you want in the world... so if you want the details, here they are, if you don't want them, just let me know to stop talking about it. You won't offend me!! I am part of the group to support you until we all go to the pregnancy side together. ... the details..
I am 8 weeks and 2 days preggers. Baby due Jan 9th. Next scan is in 3 weeks then I am shipped back to regular ob/gyn. Yes, I will find out the babys sex at the earliest possible moment- I am a planner! Possible names- boy: Jacob Benjamin (DH's name is Ben) and girls: I luv Faith Caroline and DH luvs Cora Elizabeth. I think I can get my way! As far as who knows- only best friends (all 20 of them), my closest family (21 of them) and 1 coworker.... we are waiting tell tell the rest of the brood (grandparents, more aunts, uncles, cousins) until the magi mark of 12 weeks... After yesterday I am excited, but as you all know still nervous.

well bugs.... off for lovely steamer!
Steph

lolajones · Post by **lolajones** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 5:53 pm

oi oi my girls
This is just a brief one i think - i feel like shite.

R - I am so gutted for you. And I know exactly what you mean about dh, they are a worry. Maybe all our dh's should have their own male octo thread eh? He needs a break - can he sort some annual leave? You both need mothering at the moment. Why don't you both take off for a special bit of pampering somewhere. As for the fet - they're easier. Keep in touch for moans etc and as Steph said - don't apologise!!! Look at all the crap I spout at you guys with impunity!

Steph - another one! Don't you dare apologise for writing about being pregnant!!! You have been here from the start, you have been through so much, you are our success story! We need you!! I like the name Benjamin as its my dh's name too. Can't wait until your 12 week scan - can they tell the sex then??

Jen - how are you sweetie? Bought the car yet?

Walsher - glad you're back! Nasty herbs

I couldn't do it, drink poo tea i mean - eughhhh. Good on you girlpal! I'm going to start acupuncture as soon as I dispose of the you know what....... ah, the list of post exam activities just keeps a-growing

well as i said, I feel likey the crapster. perfect timing a mere 11 days pre abomination

thank you karma once again for showing me your ass. BIG SIGH. well, tough cahoonas. I interviewed for my pa and found someone v nice. motherly, just what i wanted really. Hope she accepts the job. I'm not at work now until after the first exam so I will be all about the study. Translation: I'll be cruising this board for me homies - I may become very needy, please give me some latitude

OK my guns of Navarrone
pow pow

Lola
xxxxxx

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:36 pm

Hi girls,

Little R - Oh babe i can't stop thinking about you. Wish we could take away the pain but there's nothing we can do, which is so hard. Just know that you can log on anytime and vent away until your hearts content.
I felt the same about my dh and still do, the guilt is the hardest thing to deal with but they want us for us. As my dh always reminds me, he married me for me and not for a child. Take time to spend with each other and cry, hug and grieve then its amazing how our bodies get us to move on to the next cycle-----hey your in good company with the Big 3 group.

Loops - My head hurts for you, please get these exams done and passed, i feel worried as much as you.

I agree about the Octo Dudes thread. Spoke to my dh and he said he will come on for a chat especially to help R's dh so i'm starting one this minute.

Steph - Offended, huh, don't be daft. Yes it's hard when we all want the same happy news as you but we're in this together and will get there soon. Your a lucky girl, enjoy this time. it's only natural to be so happy and excited. When i get preggers, i will be shouting from the rooftops.

Walshy - How are you feeling about the next cycle? When do you plan to start? It's good to have you back for a chat.

Camilla - Hope your feeling ok?

Me - Well just back from work and has been a touch day. My keychild would not go to school so had to do some reverse psychology, which is exhausting. Eventually got him there but went missing in the afternoon

Then i told my boss i will need to be off for my op in Aug for about a week. She said to think about maybe taking hols instead so i don't get in trouble for taking time off as i will need more when i do my next cycle. Told her ---eh-----------thinking-------------NO.

So off to paint my nails, sun is out and its getting warmer over the weekend, yes guess who is on a sleepover, typical. Anyway Sat is the day for mini buying and i've also put in an offer for a house. They like our offer but are saying there is not enough time for us to sell our house-------one thing after the other eh, but will find out tomorrow.

Love ya and leave ya, till tomorrow

Love Jen x

Inhale, Exhale · Post by **Inhale, Exhale** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 11:47 am

Mornin Nutters!

OK, so I am making new rule for the Tubers..... if one member is feeling especially crapster, they are required to check in and post everyday. Even if it is just one word like...... shite! I don't like to worry over my luvies.... For now the down in the dumps is Little... check in sweets! How is hubby? How are you?

Lola-la-la, Hey sexy lady.... she's a lad-ey, oh, oh, oh she's a lad-ey.... How are you feeling today miss "my immune system likes to protest"? I hope that brain has not decided to explode. Would be a shame to waste all those blue Sydney style wigs. Think how free you will feel in, what is it- ten days? You will feel like a little kid escaping Micheal Jacksons bedroom without having to touch his "nose"! So, what fun things do you have planned to celebrate? Trip around the world on little raft with Demetrio to relieve the good ol days? A party like it's 1999? Endless hours of smut tv with drink in one hand and sweets in the other?

Jen- House huntin a go-go! Another offer... i hope this one is the winner. The house looks lovely from here darlin! I luv that you told your boss.... hellah NO bee-otch! Thats the smackdown! So, when you say it is getting warmer there.. what are we talkin? We are crapster humid here. I am not a fan of summertime. Sun, blah...

Walshy- where did you run off to? Out with Demmy again on secret rendevous? Don't worry, my lips are sealed. Not a word to Lolster... Has he shown you the stripper moves that I taught him?

The big debate in my head right now.... to take a week off of work for little relaxin va-kay or to save time to be used at later date? I would really fancy a week off....... but feel as though I should keep the time for hopeful bundle of joy arrival.

In other news.. I was searching through the radio this morning and had a flashback... Salt n Peppas Shoop song was on... AND I still remembered all the words! HE, he, he. I can't remember what I wore yesterday, but I remember a cheesy rap song from so long ago... oh the important stuff!

Ma Ladies,
Steph

Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

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