Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[little R]

Lola lass!
You poor thing!
I am thinking about you in your pigeon hole ..... I went walking this morning alone, but with my MP3 of course. It's lovely and sunny here in Switzerland although cold and a little windy...
My eyes feasted on the beautiful landscapes and the drop-dead gorgeous scenery of my hometown (more like village) on the shores of Lake Geneva.... I am really glad DH convinced me to go with him! Yes feeling a little better...but wonder whether I will feel worse when I get to Dubai again...back to the routine and the horrid memories...

Anyway, will cross that bridge when I get to it....

Just wanted to say hi and to encourage you....

Take care... love to my other Octopals

Little R

[lolajones]

Thanks R!

I love Lake Geneva - me n dh visited lausanne a few years ago on the way back from Verbier. We had a great time running around, went to a great little arts place, gallery and exhibition place - cool.

I've decided to escape briefly from hole - me n the hubster are going to walk to the south bank for some lunch. The Thames sure aint lake geneva.... but it'll do for today.
Now.... if i can just get my jeans on......

besos, lola
xxx

[Jen1d]

Hi Buds

Lola - Where's the hubby, he should post on the dudes immediately. Walshy's dh and mine have started to bond already.
Also you are not boring us about your exams, they are a big part of your life at the moment and we're here to support you for that big PASS.
Yep its lovely weather here but not as hot as you, we are only about 19 degrees. I remember well how hot it got in London, Surrey when i lived there, can be uncomfortable and dirty when your working but i still miss it.

Little R - So jealous you are in gorgeous Switzerland, its so beautiful but you deserve it my wee friend, enjoy and eat loads of choccies.

Walshy - Glad your on the mend and ready to think about the Big 3 in August. Your dh will get some support too---everyones happy aaahhhh.
Must say it's hard not to sneak a peek into the Dudes

Steph - How you doing, is there a sign of a bump yet?

Mortisha - Don't know about the convertable, we had a test drive and although its cool especially when the roofs down we didn't like the inside when the roof up, it looked a bit like a tent and you can't see out of the rear window well. Anyway the cooper s is fab just dearer to insure. Can't wait for mine to arrive.
How you getting on with our clinic, when does it close and what are you going to do? When does your treatment start?

Well only one yp late home last night so got to my bed fairly early. Went on a long walk with them today and then took them for a pizza as they were so good. Unfortunately i felt so sad as i saw so many families and just kept thinking that i want to take my baby there Hopefully i will get that dream some day soon

Anyway sorted my house out and am all ready to put it on the market, am getting excited now

C u 2mrw

Love Jen x

[Moritsha]

Hi Jen. Was at the clinic yesterday to collect my down-regs. AF due 9th June so i'll start them on day 21 coz we're going to Cuba Clinic still closing!!! Phoned my local newspaper to see if they'd do a feature but they'd only be interested if I was in the story!!! No way. No-one except close family and 1 friend knows. Have to take my down-regs on holiday and DH is freezing a sample as he works away a month at a time. Hope that doesn't affect the results! Take care - not long till you'll be cruising about in a very fab car! Paula x

[lolajones]

Hey 'obers
I've been having a brain clear out and I think its time to say adios to the viking fertilty warrior Yes , its time to pillage elsewhere amigo.

Been thinking a lot the last few days about my ectopic. Maybe its because when I got pregnant I though about how tricky it would be doing the exam - especially the patient stuff - when I would be 7 and a half months pregnant. I think about seeing the scan, the little beanie, the strong heartbeat and how it all happened so fast, straight to theatre, trying to take it all in. All the doctors saying it's live and then looking at me with cringing apologetic faces. I never really said goodbye or even acknowledged that it was my baby, too painful. But now, thats how I'm thinking about it. At the time I was very angry that the doc had showed me n dh the scan, pointing out all the details, as I thought it would upset dh. Now, I wish that they'd given me a copy of the scan. Does that sound morbid? Its just he/she was alive and fine and perfect, just took a wrong turn was all. Man, I've wanted to say this for a long time, have almost said it to my best friends but I don't want to upset them or make them think I'm not ok. Because I am ok. I just wish things were different.

Anyhoo ladies, onwards! The rest of this year is going to be top banana!

Love
Lola
xxx

[Jen1d]

Oh lovely loopy lola

Don't be ashamed to discuss your baby. Your grieving for what you could have had, its only natural, especially to think what if, what if.
The Doc told me its only natural to grieve and after a cycle we go through all the stages of grief, sadness, anger, denial etc.
Am here anytime you want to talk about this, its good to get it off your chest, don't bottle it up and have a good cry------it always helps.

Don't you think its strange that us with the faulty tuberoos are most at risk of an eptopic You would think with them being blocked/damaged the embie wouldnt get in.
Anyway i have decided they can take both of mine out in Aug, there no bloody good to me and at least the risk of eptopic is gone so when i do (notice the positvity there) get preggers then there is no tubes for my embies to go into----------so take that crappy body of mine.

Go and have a hug and some rest, things always feel a bit better after a good sleep-----i think your working too hard but please don't apologise for wanting to talk about this.

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Tuber Nuders!

My little Lola Luv Bug...
I am so sorry that the loss of babe has sneaked up on you, but glad that you are seeing the loss and working through it. I had many a cries after my miscarriage. At first I felt weird calling it a baby, as it never had a heartbeat and was very early. But I was grieving for a loss of a baby, so I allowed myself to look at it for what it was and would have been. I still think about the loss. We have friends that are due 2 weeks before what we would have been and they are very excited right now because it is soon. I still get upset and jealous when I see them thinking about ours and where we would be right now, even though I am preggers again. That was our baby too and I will always miss it. Take time to work through lovely Lola. And remember as you move on that life is full of fabulous surprises!

Littles- yeah hooray! You have checked in!! So glad your are on va-kay. Sounds like heaven on a popsicle stick! Except I would go for the chocolate and cheese instead.. maybe you could send me some while you are at it?? As you said, it is early days, but you sound really good. I think you are doing exactly what you should be... including avoiding those ever pesky in-laws. There is no way I could be around my MIL! She drives me batty!

Jens- wow you look good from here.... you fancy little thang in your new wheels! As for the house. Ben and I lived with my parents for about 2 months while we were remodeling the house that we bought. It was worth it to save the cash... especially when it is needed in other places! Good choice... you decision makin queen of the nile!

Walshy- I think I am taking your advice and going to go on a break. I need a break. I deserve a break! Besides, I can build that time back up until January. As for paid leave. I am allowed to use leave that I have saved.. but they do not give you anything. I have 6-8 weeks of sick leave and about 4 of annual leave. (until i use a week at end of July).

As for me.. well, my gag reflex is in high gear. I actually up chucked this morning just from brushing my teeth! Craziness. I am nauseous every time my stomach is empty and sick when I eat, my bum looks like a black and blue piece of artwork from the progesterone shots... and you know of course, I am appreciating every blessed minute! Tommorrow is the 9 week mark! 3 more scary ones to go.....

Luvin from the oven,
Steph

[little R]

My Octofriends.....

Glad to be back here in sunny and green Switzerland....the only inconvenience...my annoying allergies have kicked in. That's one of the reasons I love Dubai...it's allergen-free ...as there is no grass! Having a bit of a hard time physically...emotionally, I believe I have reached denial stage and it's as if I cannot face even thinking about the last IVF which was 7 weeks of treatment...for nothing . I don't know really what to do with that.....

Lola, lass.... gosh..I've always thought you had a lot on your plate ...in addition to your constant brain cramming. Honestly, I think it is only naturally to still think of your baby and your loss... I still think of mine and I don't care if it was only 5 weeks old... I'll never forget for the rest of my life. I was pregnant. To me it was a big deal and it was part of me and DH...and I had seen it on the screen before the ET. I still think about it and it crushes me. I am really glad I got to say goodbye in my own way as it truly helped me move on....but moving on doesn't mean forgetting. It doesn't sound morbid at all that you would have wanted a pic..... I wanted a pic of my embryos, but never got one It's strange, but dealing with the BFN is not the same as the m/c... it's completely different. There's a sense of loss with the BFN, a grieving process which is really hard because there is nothing to hold on to. I'm not only upset because it didn't work...I'm upset because I lost something that wasn't there but was there. How on earth do you explain that .... yes, I am grieving something that didn't work....Sorry, I can't explain myself properly today... I'm rambling.
Anyhoo.... thank you for sharing with us....and you know you can share anytime because we are here for you, to listen, to attempt to comfort (pretty impossible), to tell you that you're not alone and most importantly to encourage you with your studies and with you next attempt
You're a survivor Lola... don't you forget that!

Jen....am eating cheese and chocolate for you....you sound like you are doing well. I bet you're looking forward to your mini... sounds like a class act You're one of the cool girls now Good decision on the house.... crossing my fingers that you will find the perfect place...

Steph.... I think I remember reading in Miss West's infamous fertility book that when you are finally pregnant and experience morning sickness you should definitely embrace it Hmmm... you complain as much as you want my Octobuddy... am not convinced about the embracing part Sorry to hear about your bum.... at least you're not doing it for nothing Take care of yourself... and your little bump....no worries my dear....your 12 weeks will be there soon

Walshy....so what are you up to? What are you doing with your day? Have you embraced your new lifestyle yet ? How's the green beverage going ?


Must dash....tomorrow heading out to Basel for some museum touring and then back down to Lausanne the following day....all very exciting to be spending some quality time alone with DH... we both need it

Much love to you all...you're all in my thoughts.... I think we are coping very well considering all the crap that's been thrown our way Hourrah for the Octoteam

Little R

[Jen1d]

Well whats the news today

Its so good to see Little R is taking some time out with her dh. Hope your in tip top shape soon, you sound a bit more like your old self. Have fun. Glad your dh has posted on the Dudes, hope he get some good support, he sounds stressed out.

Loopy - I demand you relax for a bit and have a few glasses of wine . Also get that dh of yours to join in with the guys.

Well have been running around mad. The house is now organised and the For Sale sign is up, the neighbours will be curtain twitching. Am a bit anxious incase we dont find a house to go to but heh, lifes all about risks right?

Only two and a half months until my op and maybe 5 months until the Big 3. It seems so far away. I'm glad i have the househunting to keep me occupied but want things to move NOW. I hate not being in control of my own life and body. All seems so unfair that we have to go through this crap.

My car arrives in about a month yyyyiiiipppeee .
So what car does everyone else drive? My guess is Little R will have a flash number living in Dubai, Steph has one of those space bus things as all the cars in America are huge, automatic and of course AC, Walshy, well unsure maybe a wee sporty number as her dh has a nice new job and Lola, haha maybe a flintstone car as she is a poor student or a golf gti?? Let me know if i was close girls .

Ok, going to watch Big Brother in a bit. Have you been watching it Lola?

Be good, see you tomorrow

Love Jen x

[camilla]

Girls

Sorry haven't written but as you know was away for a week and although we got back late Thursday couldn't log on and reply till now. You know what it's like when you get back and I knew there would be a lot of posts to catch up on so I had to have the time to sit down and read everything. Which is now!

Anyway:

Steph - Oh my God!!! So wonderful, words cannot express how I feel for you. The first posts I read were not from where I left off and I couldn't see how you could be that many weeks pregnant but of course after going back I understood! I'm sure you'll be fine and your DH and docs are taking good care of you. Any morning sickness? Seeing the scans, hearing a heartbeat and then feeling your baby are wonderful and reassuring. Enjoy!

Little R - I feel desperately for you. I did log on on Friday to see your result but I'm sorry but I couldn't find the words to write to you. Nothing I can say can express how I feel. At this point reminding you that you did nothing wrong and everything right or that there is no reason why you can't get pregnant is not going to help, I know. You need to get over this before thinking about anything else. I feel terrible that I have only just managed to write but I hope you know that I'm here for you like the other girls. I hope it's not too difficult for you to read my posts. There's not a day goes by when I don't forget the situation I was in not so many months ago. I will never forget how I felt for all those months and years and how desperately we longed for our baby. That's why I'm being so cautious with this pregnancy and why I don't want to shout about it. I've got friends who are in/have been in similar situations to ours and it's been really hard telling them my news, I felt guilty! It can be so hard here with the highs and the lows but I want to stay and I hope I can maybe help.

Lola - Your message about your baby was heartfelt and heard. Love to you.

Jen - I know it seems a setback but you have to believe there is a purpose to everything. Your op also means the start of your next cycle after that. I can't put it right in words but I hope you understand my meaning. You seem so excited about your mini though that I can tell you've got a good balance and sense of perspective. Enjoy your new purchase.

Walshy - Hello, sorry I may have to re-read some of the posts to see how you are. Glad to hear from you.

Well girls I shall be back now that I'm back! Every day probably!

Take care, love you.

Camilla xxxxx

[lolajones]

bonjour m'ladies

Steph - with colourful bum and nausea.. how're you coping? You can get ginger flavoured lollipops - they're supposed to help with nausea though personally I couldn't think of anything more gack inducing. So when are you taking your break? And where are you going? What I'm getting at is....will it be somewheres with internet facilidades?? Anyhoo, fill me in and tell me a toad boss story - this board is my only escape from you know whattin'.

Little R - Basel? I spent one of the worst nights of my life in Basel. Me n a couple of friends went inter railing and ended up trapped at Basel station for a whole night in the freezing cold - as of course we were woefully unprepared, no sleeping bags, clothes of any warmth etc, no food. Am expecting that you have a much better time of it! Full run down when you get back, please see above.

Jemlar - no, aint watching BB this year. I am a huge fan of sh*te telly but figure I don't need another distraction at the moment. As for cars... don't need one as have my jet pack and abseil equipment for missions! Actually we have a little Ford, me n hubster get free travel in London so don't use it, we are officially a low carbon emissions family!! And eh! poor student??? How're you? You are really seizing the day lately - me likely! Plan to be the same go doer as you when I have been liberated from exam hell.

Walsh - donde esta amiga? Hope you haven't been hospitalised with grass cuttings disease??? Whats Sydney like at the moment? Cold?

Camilla - good to have you back, how was your holiday? So much has happened since you've been away - can you believe it? Steph up the duff!

well, I feel like crapsky. Have some wierd dizziness n nausea thing, prob related to my cold, don't know. I keep falling over. Anyhoo, am annoyed about it, need to be on top brain form to cram final bits in rah-di-roo. 6 sleeps until The Nightmare:Part I
Off to put crash helmet on and immerse ma bad self in Statistics, stand back! I'm going in!

Back laters
Lola
x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Mornin, Mornin Nutteroos...

I have to say that I luv coming to work and spending the first half hour checkin in and catching up with you girls..... Makes work avoidance very easy!! Always a good thang.

Weather here is my idea of perfection today. 70's, blue skies... Likey-a-lot. Makes a gal chipper!

Lolster- Mmm. marsupial boss stories. Well, he was away on vacation last week, so that is why I had no good stories to tell. BUT, he was back for the first day yesterday and exclaimed first thing when he came in to the lot of us.... I'm back like it or not.. the four of us wanted to chant NOT in unison as we all despise the greasy, smelly waste of oxygen. As far as my little trip.. nothin that exciting. I am going with my sister and mom to our cousins house in Ohio (where my aunt also lives) for 4 days of girls time, reading, swimming, sunning, smut tv and of course... shopping like nobodies business. Then we will travel to my cousins ultra fab mountain house in WV where the men will join us for weekend. My favorite part of these trips have always been the late night talks with my cousin fueled by margaritas and hottub.. which I will be passing on this year of course. But it will be good to sneak away from work, life, stress. Good news- my cousin is all wired up, so I will be able to check in. It is not until end of July though... So, will be around to here that you whizzed through exams like a hot knife through butta.

Jens- hmmm, got the car wrong. I drive a Ford Explorer. I need the 4 wheel drive to master my driveway in the winter. I live on a mountain, a PA size mountain, but a mountain. And of course it has AC! don't be a nutter. That's crazy talk. As for Lola gal poor student... you mean Dr. Lola? Poor? I thinky not!

Littles- Have no fear, no complaining about pregnancy here. I am embracing it all! Hows the cheese and chocolate? MMMMmmm. Enjoying time with DH?

Walshy- where to sweets?

Camilla- welcome back crazy lady! Yep, big surprise for me. As you know the worrying never ends... But, letting it go. The fear does no good. Feeling blessed because I have been, so I am going to appreciate it! New rule.

Holla Back Girls,
Steph

[Jen1d]

Hi

Steph - Space van, explorer, same thing, both big. Must be lovely staying in the mountains though.

Lola - I know your a Doc but still doing some studying so you can get away with being a student for a bit. As for free transport, thats cushy as it costs a fortune in London now on the tubes.

Little R - Hope your having some special time with your dh, thinking of you.

Camilla - Good to have you back, bit of a shock finding out about our Steph eh?

Walshy - Where are you, hope you ok, drop in for a chat soon.

Nice weather here, sunny and about 20 degrees.
Went to see the new film United 93 yesterday about the 9/11 attacks---good film but i found it so upsetting, those poor families. We should appreciate what and who we have around us every moment.

Ok, off to visit another house in about an hour, there are not many and i'm starting to think we'll have to put our name down for the nearest homeless unit!!

Keep you chin up girls

Love Jen x

[Walshy]

Hello Ladies,

Little R - I am glad you touched in and let us know how your going and that you are taking some time out with your DH I think of you often. Please eat some chocolate for me actually not some alot I love chocolate although ours doesn't taste the same as Swiss chocolate apparently they put stuff in our so that it doesn't melt from the heat.

Lola - the wether in Sydney sucks at the moment is it cold and wet and makes you want to sit at home eating choclate under a doona (friends of mine from the UK tell me it is like being back at home)...I think the reason why you keep falling over is not because of your cold (which couldn't have come at a worse time) but because you have so much knowledge stored in there you are top heavy my friend...I think when your tests are over and done with then you will be right walking around as all that information will be out.......U may however need to keep some in there to do your job.. I am sorry that you have to go through the grief of losing your baby. I can only imagine what you and the other ladies have been through to get that BFP and then lose it again.

Steph - I am glad we can add to your work avoidance as I am the time suckage queen. I don't log on at work though as I find there are too many eyes looking aroudn I am in an office of 60 people. I am happy you are taking a break in the next month or two. It sucks that you do not get paid maternity leave when you have bub. In Australia now they actually pay you $4K when you have a baby. They are trying to get more people to have atleast 3 children each as our population rate is dropping.

Jen - Your house is up for sale how you doing about that? Has my husband been replying to your husband. I want to read there post but keep telling myself that I promised I wouldn't. Damn it why did i have to promise....Your car arrives soon yeah.. I think we need to focus on little hurdles of things like your car and then onto your op then I'll be on the life raft for round three with you and Ms Lola behind me....My car is not sporty sorry although it does a have a spoiler thingy (i think that is wat it is called). We also have a Vespa scooter for getting around on so we get points on the cool scale.

Camilla -Good to have you back....How are you feeling...Good news about Steph huh!!

I have had a busy week eating properly and exercising and drinking my horrrible herbs. It is seriously only 5 mls but tastes like there is about 50mls of it in there. Luckily I have not gagged as yet but I think however I am getting Af for the first time by myself in a long time. I am very excited and hope that the herbs are working....I have so far managed to keep myself away from chocolate and other temptations which is good...I can't remember who said to trust my DH attempts at handyman work but this is his latest adventures....we brought a new stove which we have just found out is too big for the spot so at this very moment he is cutting a part of our bench off Brought a new rangehood also doesn't fit so had to cut off stuff for that I am only praying that it looks good when he has finished....
Ok til next time take care Walshy

[lolajones]

shhh, don't tell the Exam God I am here.... am once again study avoiding...its quite literally all too much, boo and a hooooo

Walsheroo - yes, deffo doona weather this time of year in Sydney. I remember the chocolate tasting funny but y'know, chocolate is like pizza and sex, even when its bad its good. Sounds like the herbs are working their wierd mojo on your downstairs the liferaft is all ready for you, I even stocked the mini bar... Like the idea of my head being too Mr Potato head heavy - will attach Helium ballon to head and see if things improve! Has your dh got one of those utility belts for when he does DIY? They are fantastic and I'm sure wearing one actually improves the level of DIYness.

Jenario, I've heard good things about that film but decided not to go and see it - too upsetting. You are a house purchasing demon! How's about lending me a bit of your energy girlfriend? Yeah, free travel v cushy, perk of ma job. And by the by I am poor, living in London makes everyone poor, my rent could pay off Bolivias national debt in 6 months. Hey ho! After the thinkgy - house buying priority numero uno! You'll have to give me some tips.

Steph - your trip sounds lovely and relaxing... but lay off the Margos sweetbean! The rest will be so great - I long for a bit of non medical reading, I've bought a few post exam books and I cannot wait. And also, did you do as i suggested? And you little R???? Don't play dumb, the Janet Evanovich easy reads! I recommend for your trip...there is a small smut quotient but maybe not enough for your tastes miss strip pole. So, this mountain you live on...I'm picturing a ranch with veranda swing and lots of land am i way off? Hope you n the beanster are ok.

Little R - missing you posting! Do we really have to wait until tomorrow? See above for my book order. How was Basel? Are you full of high brow culturalness? When are you leaving to retunr to Dubai? How are you feeling about it?

Camilla - do you know the sex of baby? Have you got names sorted out?

Hmmmm, I have lost my nerve and am in I'm going to fail freefall...aaahhhhh... my sydney wig is off and the handbag parachute won't open!
Did I tell you how dull this was? Can't remember......
Well, I'm off back to my attic of disaster to try and learn about epidemiology. Again. Why it no sticky? It just like my last two embies - This just in! I am teflon for embryos and epidemiology

back laters

lola
xxxxxxx