April/May Buddies??

[veronika]

Jackie,
your little fighter will be fine!!! Your numbers sound very good! I hope time passes quickly for you, and that you can have the next test soon. Sending you lots of PMA, dear! Veronika

[jackoa21]

Thanks ladies again for all your support.. I have gone back to normal calmer Jackie now.. Momentary moment of weekness

[DaniaBB]

Vessi- So happy to hear that baby bean B is in good shape! Yeah!

Jackie- Congrats!!!!! I’m really happy that your little fighter fought a good fight to hang in there!

Laura-Its tough when AF arrives after living through so many emotions.I think following your heart is the best option when it comes to making a decision on your next course of action. Talk it through with your DH and try to deal with each possible outcome that could happen in terms of his feelings and that will guide you to make the best decision possible.

Em- How did your IUI go? I’m praying your 2ww will go smoothly and sending you lots of baby dust!!! Take it easy and eat lots of pineapple as I’ve heard!!

Sofia- Congratulations that’s so amazing!!!! You said you went away for your treatment, which clinic did you go to?

Veronika-How are you doing? You're review appointment is soon.

Have a good weekend.
Dania

[CarolynB]

Hi Ladies

It is with mixed feelings that I return.............so I have read all your updates so will start with catch -ups.

Jackie - what a supper fighter. That is terrific Hope that test today further reassures you about hcg levels

Hope - you give joy to the ladies who are considering a FET - certainly seems to have done the job for you

Sofia - guess that your strategy worked out a treat - you must be so happy

With the success of the three of you, I calc that the rate on this entire thread for all ladies who posted at some stage is now 41% which looks pretty good to me.

Vessi - glad Beanie B has been playing catch up - you must be over the moon

Prissy - cannot believe that you & your little ones are beyond 9 weeks already - that is amazing

Em - simply cannot believe that you are on 2ww again so soon & that you had 3 large follies - fingers crossed that this will be the one for you - as Dania says keep eating the pineapples - make it all cozy & sticky

Dania - have read all the catch up and cannot see much about your review appointment - I thought that it was whilst I was away - did you go & see them? what did they tell you & what have you decided to do next?

Veronika - think that your review is very soon. When is it? Do you have all your questions prepared?

Laura - they are all such tough calls. Sure that you & dh will know and do what feels right for both of you

Well as for me. We had a totally terrific holiday together. White sand, aqua seas, lovely hotel which we had pretty much to ourselves as off season, lovely food, etc etc. Dh and I spent so much 'nice' time together that at times I/we almost forgot about this ivf jazz. I was wondered how you were all getting on from time to time but not really dwelling on it. AF arrived last Sunday (just a couple of days late) exactly as my cute acupuncturist said it would & even that could not dampen my spirits as at least it is out the way so does not mess up the lap. Was quite different to normal - again more as acu man had hoped it would be. Quite weird how it impacts your body. Took the disgusting herbs that he gave me too. Was even starting to think that if it ends up as just me & dh that we will be v sad but we can make it work with just the two of us.

Then we got back this morning and I could not wait to log on. But as soon as I did, it all come crashing back to me. The fact that it did not work. The fact that we have to go though it all again. The fact that my lap is next Monday. The fact that we don't even know yet whether we will do a FET or another fresh cycle. I really want to be pleased for everyone who has good news but I feel like I am being left behind and keep thinking - why did it not work for me????? What should I have done differently??? What did I do wrong????

I saw your pleas for me to come back from hols and post which are so thoughtful. Glad that you did not forget me. But think that I may need to step back a bit and post a little less. Not sure if that will help or make me feel worse still without the support from all of you? May be it is just the usual post holiday downer with washing in the machine, visit to Sainsbury's already undertaken for healthy food and work looming tomorrow. May be I just did a good job of blanking it out and now that I am back in London - that is less possible.

Hope that you are all having a happy sunday.

Love Carolyn xxxxx

[jackoa21]

Carolyn
I just wanted to say that I am glad you are back. I dont have the words to make this all ok but I am here for you.. I was glad to hear that you had a nice trip.. I for one want to thank you and I would have been lost without all your love and support.
love and hugs from your friend.
Jackie

[jackoa21]

Girls
It does not look good my numbers have not gone up that much. they were 596 now 835 4 days later they said probably etopic or miscarrage. I dont know how to deal with this
I am sorry to dump on you all.
love me

[CarolynB]

Jackoa

So much for not posting much. How could I not respond to your last message & when you took the time to post something for me before you wrote about your own situation.

The numbers still rose so is there some glimmer of hope still for you? I so hope so.

I really really hope that it is neither a miscarriage or an eptopic for you. You were doing so wonderfully well with your little fighter.

This is just so dam unfair and so unkind and just too cruel.

Sending you big hugs and really wishing that there is still a little hope for you.

We are here for you.
Love Carolyn xxx

[missprissy]

Hello Ladies!!

Jackie: I'm sorry that you're experiencing the hellacious Beta Rollercoaster. I pray that everything is all right with your little one.

Carolyn: I understand all too well your desire to stay away from this site. That's why I don't post as frequently as I did in the beginning. This is a wonderful and supportive place to be but also very sad! I'm all ready SUPER emotional and just reading Jackie's news made me worry for her and my little ones. I've often wondered why me and not someone else, but I'm so thankful it was me.....but how or why would I want to say that to someone who is still trying. It's definitely a tough decision.

Prissy

[veronika]

Jackie,
It made me so sad to read your message. All of this is just so damn unfair, I whish nobody ever had to go through such emotional turmoil. I am sending you all my strength, dear Jackie!

Carolyn,
It is great to have you back, but I can so understand your idea to stay away for a bit. As long as I keep on checking on the board, this story isn't over, and sometimes I just whish I would never ever have to think or hear about IVF again. But then again, it is the only way for me to get pregnant and therefore part of my life.
Me too, I've stepped back a bit lately, mainly because I have soo much to do (we are renovating our new appartment), but as soon as I come home I am automatically drawn to my computer to catch up with everybody's news. Whenever I am away during the day I almost forget about my IVF feelings, and it is so good to be in a "normal life" for a while!
In any case: Thank you for everything you have been doing for me and for all the ladies on this board. You have been such a trustful friend! If you need to stay away a while, please do so, and just know that I will be looking out for you! I want to be your cycle buddy again!

My review appointment will be on the 22nd. Let's see whatever is next for me. I hope I can start my next cycle soon. Although sometimes I think it would be better for me to wait the full 3 months just to have the time to calm myself down and cope with all eventualities. Then again this seems like such a waste of time...

Dania,
how was your review appointment? I hope you are well and got many satisfying answers to all those questions!

I am sending my love to you ladies out there! Veronika

[Xrayem]

Oh Carolyn I'm so glad you are back! I've really missed your support while you've been gone. I have been feeling exactly as you have - Everyone around us seem to be having BFP's, when is it our turn? I even resorted to posting my own topic in a desperate plea to find someone else who was where I was at. Do whatever you feel is right for the moment. If you want to back off a little, we understand.....we'll be here for you when you come back to us.

As for starting again, I too felt trepidation. But now I feel positive and confident and for the time being anyway just that little bit closer to my goal. Once you get started and know your dates, ect, you'll feel much more settled and relaxed. Even excited- this could be the one!

Jackie- I'm sorry for your latest test results. I'm not going to accept it yet for our little fighter.....and cling to any hope. You are in my thoughts.

Veronika- good luck for your review! I hope you'll be on your way soon.

Dania- How was your review? I have been drinking pineapple juice by the bucket loads! And water......I live on the loo!

Everyone else, big hugs!

Em

[vessi]

Jacie, I am sooooo ory that the numbe are not climbing as fast as we wish. I still have some hope. In case your fears come true- I am really, really sorry. But you did get PG once. it will happen again. Right now it's too early to speculate. I am praying for you.

Caroline- I am glad you enjoyed your vacation. Sand beach sounds soo good now! It might eb difficult to face it but I am sure it will work next time. You are so strong, you can do it, I am sure.

Em- eat fresh pineaplle. the good part is in the core- it's difficlt to chew on but I did it. I bought 6 pineapples and ate 1 per day.

------

I had my 3rd scan today. babies are looking good. baby A is 15.4mm, baby B is 14.7mm. really catching up. I thought that was my last visit t othe clinick but ER asked me if I wanted to go there again in a wekk and I was- yes, I want to see them every day if I could. I feel great, no morning sickness, only big appetaite as i said before. I keep putting on weight. i do loook PG and love it.

Hugs and Hi's to ALL!

vessi

[DaniaBB]

Oh Jackie! I'm so sorry.Your little fighter has fought such a good fight so far - I’m praying that he/she keeps on fighting. It’s just so unfair that this would happen!I'm sending you a hug and I just hope those numbers keep rising even if they are slow.

Em-
When I read what you wrote I was amazed cuz I reacted the same way as you did. I was busy all last week and only got to the boeard on Saturday and when I read everyone’s BFP-I felt really sad since my review appt. wasn’t what I expected and I jsut couldn’t get myself to write about how dissappointed I was- I didn’t want to bring everyone down. I really wish I wasn’t dealing with IVF once again- I just wish it would have been positive for me too. So I searched on other threads and even created my own.I felt a little desperate. Glad to hear your eating lots of pineapple.That’s so cute that you live on the loo!!! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!!

Vessi- That's great that you can see your little beanies as often-that's great that they are both growing well.

Veronika- Good Luck with your review appt.!!!! Let us know what your plans are. Hopefully we can be cycle buddies with Carolyn.

Carolyn-
It sounds like you had a wonderful holiday!! I absolutely understand how you feel – if you need to stay away from the boeard take the time you need . I thank you for all your amazing support that you’ve given me and everyone else –you’re such compassionate person.

As I mentionned above to Em I just felt I wanted it to be my turn too and felt really sad on saturday so I didn’t want to talk about myself.


Thanks you ladies for asking about the review appointment. Like I had told you a few weeks ago about similar questions we had in mind here’s the answers I got :To summarize:The Dr. thinks that the negative result could be caused by any or all of the following: CT scan/ Iodine,Fibroid(s), or Simply Mother Nature.
I asked what his opinion was concerning blastocysts transfers?
He said that he just did a study on this technique and that he finds there are better results with the 3 and 5 day transfers.DH asked if we could transfer 3-4 embryos next time and do a FET. He said that yes- that he could also do a day 3 and day 5 combo transfer where 2 embies are transferred on day three and 1 is transfered on day 5.
I asked what his opinion was about baby aspirin?
He said that since the endo was not very thick a baby aspirin might work but there are mixed success rates when taken.

My E2 on april 28th day 9 of stimms was 7249 and endo was at 6.2mm on april 29th E2 was at 8812 but endo was not measured- they forgot to do this. Now I don’t know how much the endo’s daily growth rate is and what the size might have been on ET.

He shocked me when he said he wants me to get an open myomectomy since there might be a fibroid was in the cavity and since I had already had a hystoroscopic myomectomy this could mean that the fibroid has grown back.

I asked if we could do FET next time and he said see the Gyno and come see me after.
Then he said he thinks we should do a Fresh Cycle again. I told him I was concerned about the fibroids growing during stims. He said depending on the prognosis of the GYNO- how large the fibroid is and how much it is protruding into the cavity of the uterus then that should help us make a better decision- He said there are plenty of women that get pregnant with fibroids- (that’s reassuring and I did find a few ladies on the board that have success stories).

The good news a is that there are 8 frozen embryos (we thought there were 6) (5 are at 6 cells and 3 are at 5 cells- there are all grade 1 except for one which is a grade 3) )the last two ended up growing quickly since they were 4 cells when we were there for ET .I’m proud of them!!! Good job little embies they must be fighters and I hope next time when we get FET hopefully they will be the ones to fight there way through the mess of fibroids and settle comfortable and tightly in my endometrium.

Right I’ve been nervous because we are hanging by a thread until I have my Saline test done to know the Gyno’s prognosis. I just pray I don’t need tp have open surgery.

I went to the acu last thursday on the day AF was due and she said the meds would make it late- HOW many days were you late? Its been 4 days so far no signs of AF not even spotting which I usually get. I found another thread and they said they were 6 days late.
The acu said if I wanted to increase my chances of reducing the fibroid that I should follow this dietary lifestyle:No sweets(at all- nothing with sugar),No Dairy(no milk, cheese, yogourt, ice cream),No Fats(saturated fats- butter and redmeats),To eat warm meals almost all of the time. Obviously all the other bad things too- alcohol andjunk foods. And I’m taking the « tasty » herbs 3x a day. So Saturday I had a pig out day- pizza at lunch and Lobster for supper and now I’m officially in a cleansing lifesyle- I even walked fast-paced ½ hour this morning. I’m just trying to be hopeful.

So I called the DR this morning and the ass’t said to wait until tomorrow afternoon to cancel the Saline on the 22nd if I still don't have AF.

I wrote a lot...ooops!

Have a good day!
Dania

[DaniaBB]

I was searching for info on acu and found this article:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0, ... 16,00.html

found it inspiring!

[CarolynB]

Dania - wow - mammoth post and a nice & useful link. Zita West is the goddess. Thank you for sharing all the info from your review. It is great that he will put back more than 2 - my consultant is not prepared to go there yet with me. Great news also that you have a good number of frosties. Think that we will go that route next. I figure that if they survive the thaw and then start growing again that they must be really strong. I also think that our bodies must be in better shape for them to come home rather than still struggling with all the ivf drugs. I truely understand that sometimes it is so extreme between the highs and lows that you are not sure what/how to post for the best. The diet sounds very much like I have been recommended. I found it v hard to stick to whilst I was away but easier now that I am back at home. My dh and I are eating loads of fish & nuts too. Plus we are both trying really hard to do 2 litres of water every single day. Really hope that your saline test will be ok - have my fingers crossed for you - will do a jog to bring on your AF. Acu sounds good also. We really are doing what we can to help ourselves. I am off for session 5 tomorrow. I was around 2/3 days late this AF but was told that acu would help me get back on track and may be it did - I started the week after my -ve so had had 4 sessions before my next AF which may have re-balanced me? My last AF after -ve was also very long & quite horrid so sure that may have messed things up a bit. It really does sound like you are doing all you possibly can. Ensure that you allow yourself some treats - otherwise it can become too hard

Jackie - had a quick look on the June test thread to see if you have any news. Have been thinking of you all day. Think that you have a scan again tomorrow. I am praying for you & your little one.

Em - glad that you are feeling +ve about your tmt. See that you will test in June which is looking like a really good month so hopefully you'll end the month on a high. I understand about all the trips to the loo - I think that people at work think that I have some sort of issue as I keep having to leave meetings to pop to the loo

Vessi - sound like both your little ones are doing very well - you must be so excited

Veronika - you, me and Dania are going to cycle again together - I can just sense it. IT WILL BE OUR TURN!!!!

Miss Prissy - great of you to pop in. You are & always will be our thread leader & our inspiration. This thread will hopefully live until we all make it to the other side

Laura - hope that you are taking your time and recovering. Let us know how you are doing when you feel able to. Sending you & dh hugs.

Sofia & Hope - really hope that you are enjoying things a little. We will look forward to hearing news from your scans

Work not too bad - boss in California so with 8 hour time difference, it makes it quite easy for me to avoid him this week. Lots of nice comments about my sun tan - which I have topped up with some fake as I am quite pale Some rubbish to clear up but thankfully not too painful & it does keep me pretty occupied. Helpful for me to see that my op will be over & done in a week and then I will know what happens to me next - having a plan will help a control freak like me. Sure this week will whizz by as have busy days at work tomorrow and Wed post-hols. I am being taken to Royal Ascot on Thursday which should be cool - although no booze for me. Then it is my Mum's birthday on Friday so I am going down to Devon to see her & my Dad for the weekend. Dh will get the train down on Friday to join me - cannot take any more time off work. Then we'll come back on Sunday evening - so will not have much time to think about it which is good. Not yet decided whether to tell parents about tmt. They have no idea. Think that I'll have to say something - they will ask questions as will not have a clue why I am not drinking tea or coffee or eating chocolate. They'll know something is up.

Better go & top up the fake tan and then get to bed.

Sending lots of baby dust. Jackie - we are all thinking of you & sending you big hugs.

Love Carolyn xxx

[DaniaBB]

Carolyn- It’s always good when the boss is away…far away even better. I’m sure this work week will go by quickly. I think you’ll feel it once you are with them if you want to tell your parents or not. I’ll be thinking of you next week I’m sure it will quickly- its best if you can keep busy over the weekend- when I went in for op in 12/1/03- I went on a shopping spree for xmas decorations and gift,I put everything up that weekend by Sunday night all the gifts were wrapped. It made me feel I was in control! Once you know your plans you’ll be relieved- I think having something yo look forward to makes you feel like your on track. Thanks for answering my mammoth post!! You’re right I think the FET is a good decision- our bodies our stronger without the meds. Its also true that if the embies survive the thawing they have to be strong ones. Yes- the diet has been hard- I have a sweet tooth and today I’ve been really craving it- so I had fruits - not the same since I’m a real « cookie monster ».maybe Orange juice will work. Wow- you’re doing great having 2 L of water/day!! It’s true- my acu said that after 4 sessions your hormones are a lot more balanced. Did your acu tell you to put a warm waterbag on your belly for 10-15 mins. everyday or use MOXA sticks- supposedly that helps send more blood to the uterus. Have you noticed that you have more energy? Well, enjoy your acu session tomorrow and go ahead and have some fun with the Bronzy Summer glow.

Prissy- How are you and the little ones doing? It's great that you keep visiting.

Have a good evening ladies- sending you baby dust!!!
Dania