unsure what to do

[sandie rodgers]

Hi,

I was using this site about a year a go whilst I was undergoing fertility testing (and found it so helpful) and after having laser to remove endrometriosis and a cyst we were told to try for a baby naturally for 6 months-with no success. We did not get chance to go back as I was diagnosed with early signs of cervical cancer. I have now had the first 6 months clear and will be tested at the end of Sept. for another one-they are pretty sure this will be clear and I will have no more problems.
Now my Husband has decided that he wants to go for IVF (i AM 40 and he is 39 so we have been advised we would need to do this)-I feel apprehensive about this as I have read how awful it can be and I feel I have been messed about with so much over the last year and feel unsure about going through more tests etc. and uncertainity. I also feel this is selfish and I guess I am asking those of you who have experienced and are in the middle of it-is it really as awful as it can be made out to be and I guess any advice as I am feeling apprehensive about saying 'yes' I want to go ahead with it.

[Moritsha]

Hi Sandie. Welcome again. IVF is hard but the hope of getting a baby helps you cope with the emotional rollercoaster. If you don't try it, in a few years you might as yourself - what if? Only you two can decide. We're waiting to start our 2nd go. It's not easy - the 2 week wait is the worst feeling not knowing if it's worked or not. I found the injections no problem. I always set my alarm on my mobile phone for my injection time because I've a memory like and sieve. Usually I didn't need my alarm but sometimes it would go off and i'd think oh my god my injections!!! Good luck with your decision. Paula x

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi sandie, hi mortisha,
Sandie i just wanted to let you know a few things.... first off your not alone in all this, you have us and we are many all in the same boat and ready to listen.... i was very lucky that i had a few years to get used to the fact id need help when i wanted to have a baby...so when i met married my hubby we knew form the start where our baby hunt would go and we where very excited to start it off i think it helped a lot in treating it as a very special journey that only the select of us get to travel....try to keep a positive mind and just think if it works you will have a scan of your little one from 4-8 cells old...how fab is that... i dont think IVf in its self is awful and once you really start it its not as scary as it sounds either you really have to try to deal with it on a ok im doing this now basis or you will get overwhelmed with it and dont forget if you do go ahead you can come here and we will all help you through every stage of it....

lots of luck hope to read you soon

Debz

[Mel_P]

Hi Sandie,
Good luck with your desicion. It sounds like many of us that you have already been through a lot, and wish you all the best with the choice you decide to take.

Like Aunty pebbles I was many years in trying for children before having the opportunity to have IVF, so for me by the time it was an opportunity to have IVF, I would have undergone anything!

Whilst the IVF wasn't always exactly easy, the empowerment of finally trying something which gave me the first good chance of becoming pregnant outweighted any frustration or sadness which the IVF brought about in reminding me of how I couldnt get pregnant natrually. In terms of feeling the intrusion, I didn't feel this to be so bad, and was easier than the surgeries I had undergone, because I could see the end goal. There is a lot of heightened awareness and anticipation involved and the whole process takes around 8 weeks, but if you can pace yourself to take just one step at a time, then its a very maneagable process.

And now being so truly blessed to be pregnant I feel so very grateful for the experience I have had. There is no one who hasn't gone through the difficult journey of trying that could feel the same sense of blessing.

They say concsious conception is a good and powerful thing for the baby and the parents, and undertaking IVF is a very concsious and dedicated step to trying for a child so in some ways its a a wonderful way to conceive a child

I wish you the very best with your decision, theres lots of support for you whichever way you decide and people to go through this with every teeny step of the way!

All the best
Mel