Trying for 2nd Child

[Juseke]

Hi, I'm new to this, and infact this is my first message. I feel as if I need the support. I've been 7 years in total trying with IVF. My first attempt very successful, I now have a little boy, but 2nd child is proving harder than expected. Iam now half way thru the 2 week waiting period, of my 4th attempt in total and I'm struggling with emotions and all sorts of pain. Striking pains, aches etc. etc. Can anybody out there shed some light on whether they have had these pains 1/2 way thru the 2 week wait and if so what was there outcome. I can't recall what happened in my first attempt, it now seems such along time ago. I do feel quite alone and feeling quite empty. I've read a majority of all the messages, and you all sound such a lovely bunch of people, and so helpful.

Thanx
Jussy

[Shelley Hill]

Hi Jussey,

I am at the end of the 1st week of my 2 week wait. Don't know if it has worked, but have horrible cramps and shooting pains, especially when I go for wee!

Don't know if this will help at all.

Good luck.

[Juseke]

Dear Shelley

Take care of yourself, I took my test a week ago today and it was a BFNeg, which I was very very very upset about, but I've been here so many times before and so, I just have to pick myself up and move on and await my next try in 3 months time. I have my little 5 year old who desperately wants a brother or sister, and he's getting very upset by the whole thing. So here's hoping one day I'll get there again, did it once, very first time, and I hope we can do it again.

Let me know how you're getting on. Its all a very emotional journey, but you'll get there, if you're positive and believe.

[Shelley Hill]

Jussey,

I am so so sorry. I've only just realised how all these thread things work. I only found the site yesterday.

You sound amazingly strong, considering.

If this doesn't work for me I'll be trying again - is 3 months the normal amount of time between tmt - sorry this is all very new. I expected to go again August if it didn't work.

Lot's of love.

Shelley.xx

[Juseke]

Dear Shelley

I to am new at this whole message board thingy, and yes normally 3 months is the set time. Every clinic is very different, however, the clinic that I use in Norwich, which is one of the top 5 in the country like to see you have a 3 month break in between treatments. how have you got on, when is your test date. i do so hope that this works for you, and please remember yes you do have to be strong, dont let it get out of perspective and just keep on going.

It'll come good in the end, have great faith and positivity.

I find the message board a bit hit and miss, some people like to reply, and have their own groups that they talk to, but I've been doing this whole IVF thing for the last 8 years. I've had 4 IVF cycles, one being successfull, I've had 3 FET's, and you just have to keep going till you get there.

I desperately want another child and won't give up for nothing.

Take care of you, and keep in touch.

Love
Justeene
xx

[Shelley Hill]

Justeene,

Thanks for replying. You will and determination is completely inspiring. I can't even begin to imagine what 8 years would be like.

As you (unfortunately for you) know so much, can I pick your brains please.

What happens with FET. I only have 2 on ice, but an not sure of what the process is? I am assuming drugs ae involved, but the procedures are not so invasive???? Will this also require the 3 week wait?

Hope you don't mind all the questions. I just think it's better if I am prepared should my test be negative on the 17th.

Please continue to let me know how you are getting on. Is August a new cycle for you?

Love Shelley.xx
Also am very tempted to HPT - do you normally bother?

[Juseke]

Dear shelley

I've never been that convince with FET, over the course of the last 6 years I've had 7 frozen and non of them have worked, however thats my perspective on the matter. I'm not too sure how well they thaw etc etc, however the clinic that i use are having good results with FET, I think its just me.

As far as drugs are concerned there are lots of different ways, I've had them put back in on a natural cycle, where they use nothing apart from your natural producing hormones, I've also had them put back in using HRT, different horses for different courses, I think it depends on you and the clinic etc. etc. You still have a 2 week wait for the results as with full blown IVF

I have my fingers crossed for you for the 17th, don't dispair if it doesnt work, it will at some point. I've just seen so much in the years that we've been doing it, anything can happen and does happen. and also when you least expect it, itl'll creep up on you. I see that your husband is older than u, like wise in our case. I'm 36 and my husband is 52, he also had had a vasectomy, then we had it reversed bla bla bla!!!!

August will be a new cycle for us, that will be the 5th full cycle of IVF, which in the scheme of things in this day and age, I feel is not too bad, if you listen to some of these stories on this message board.

Whats HPT, sorry, I'm just not used to all the jargon!!!!

Take care
how are the pains and twinges etc.etc.?

Love
Justeene

[Shelley Hill]

Hello,

HPT is a home pregnancy test. I've tried 2 now, both negative. It gave me a reality check though. Until Saturday I was almost convinced I was carry twins!!!

Went back to work today, so that gave me something else to worry about. With out wishing to sound like a complete whinger, I hate my job and if this doesn't work I am going to resign and go temping now. The thought of several more years there is awful.

We didn't go for a reversal. Carl had his chop about 15 years ago and the success rate was too low for us to try, combined with what was wrong with me, we all thought this would be the best way to go.

Pains are better. I had awful period pains and they are worse in the night, but they are better at the moment, just the odd twinge.

I met a lady the other day and she failed on first attempt, but with FET's she is now carrying twins - little girl and boy.

Your right though, some of the lady's go through so many cycles. I was addicted to a show on Sky last month called Test Tube Babies. There was a lady on there who had 12 cycles and it worked on the 12th. I cannot even imagine what that would be like. There was also a couple like you, they had 1 IVF child and then loads of cycles in between, but they got their 2nd child in the end.

I guess your hope never goes away and as long as you can afford to keep going you do.

I'm going out for dinner on Saturday night - will be totally trollied if this is negative and planned a full day of activity for Sunday to keep me distracted.

Hope your OK.

Shelley.xx

[Juseke]

Dear Shelley

You might be carrying twins, who knows. Yes I've done plenty of tests b4 the actual test date. When I was pregnant with my son, I tested positive on day 10 of my two week wait, I could not bear the agony of waiting no long, so I bought a test and it was positive, then I bought another, then another etc.etc. However, I was pregnant with twins, so I guess that everything is hightened and the HCG which makes a test positive was alot stronger with the fact that they were twins.

However after 16 weeks, i lost my sons twin, bit of a bummer, still really can't get my head round it. My world would have been complete, that would have been my two children in a oner, so to speak.

I'm only now just getting over my BFN two weeks ago, it takes time. I'm starting to feel and little bit better. Course you always wonder, god wouldn't it have been nice if it had worked, and you start to imagine all sorts of things, but then you just start to look forward and start to plan the next attempt.

My friends are giving me all sorts of articles on Acupuncture and Hypnotherapy, so I'm going into Acupuncture in a big way, and off into Norwich on thursday to by an Hypnotherapy CD.

Keep your chin up and keep positive, it'll work, I hope this time of course, but if not this time, there will be others. it just depends on how desperate you are for a baby.

Good luck for the 17th. Keep me posted

Justeene
xx

[Shelley Hill]

Thanks babe!

Acupuncture is supposed to be great, but they will not start it mid cycle. I've also read on here about chinese herbalists????

I'm glad your feeling a bit better, I'm sorry to hear about your twin, I think I understand your drive a bit more now.

Let me know what you think of Acupunture. I am definitely going to try 2nd time around, it's supposed to rebalance you - something I could do with at the moment.

Shelley.xx

[Tracii]

Hi girls....pop on over to the General Forum..it is very open with lots of support - feel free to post any questions...you will get an answer from someone. That is where most of us 'hang out'.

[Juseke]

Dear Tracey

Thanks for noting, I did post of the general forum board but with not much joy. However, I shall try again, congrats on the little girl, I'm really chuffed for you, cant quite work out whether this is your first or 2nd child. Let me know, I'm frantically trying for my second, however I think that Frantically is my problem. I need to get a bit more laid back and relax about the whole thing, which is what I did with my first attempt, din't know much about IVF in those days, and I feel that now a little information is dangerous!!!! everytime, I do get quite worked up about the whole thing and try and tell myself to calm down, but its just not working at the mo, however I am sure it will sometime.

Justeene

IVF - 4 times 1st time successfull - little boy now 5
FET - 3 times unsuccessful

[Juseke]

Dear Shelley

Didn't like to hound you, whats the verdict on the 17th test.

Justeene

[Shelley Hill]

Hi Justeene,

I had a low positive and they advised that it probably would not continue. I was retested on Wednesday and got the results yesterday - it had got even lower. An hour after they called I got my period.

I feel suprisingly OK, it's sad and disappointing, but after all the uncertainty and worrying if I was growing a deformed baby, I am relieved to be getting on with my life. I would have been over the moon if it was positive, but it obviously was not meant to be this time.

I am going to the hospital on the 30th for a follow up and to discuss the next step. We have frozen embies, so that will be next, just not sure of the time scales yet.

I am resigning from my job on Monday, I feel guilty after how lovely they have been about the time off, but don't feel I can continue with my job and doing this - it's just too much. I am going to temp, which I quite like, there's no responsibility and your don't have to get involved in the normal office nonsence.

Thank for the mail, I hope your OK, only 1 month and you are back in the saddle. Keep me up to date with how you are.

Lot's of luck.

Shelley.x

[Shelley Hill]

Hi Justeene,

Hope your OK. I'll be joining you in August!

As soon as my period comes I will start with down regs, so should have a EC at the end of August.

My Doc thinks that 2 frozen embies will not give me great odds, so to do the lot again.

I leave my job on the 28th July, so feel very happy about everything.

How are you babe?

Shelley.xx