The Over 40 Crowd

[BevT]

Hi all,

Tammy, sounds a great idea to be doing up Elena's room in readiness for her arrival, you spoil away my dear. I can't wait to start buying things for our nursery. We did decorate it all before when I was pg with my darling baby Trini, but had held off "buying" anything for her as I felt it might be bad luck! Huh, well that didn't work, because when we lost her, I felt so guilty that we had not bought her anything, and I felt that we had missed out on the pleasure also. In the end we did buy her a little cuddly lamb to go in her casket with her for company (in fact I bought two the same, so I could cuddle one also). Needless to say, this time, I am not going to hold back, and I am going to enjoy buying and preparing for our new arrival/s.

Hi there Kat, so great to hear from you. Thanks for the offer of your syringes, that is so kind. I have managed to source some on the internet for not much money, and they do next day delivery - so thank you for your kind thoughts. But hey, you had better hang on to them, as from what you say, maybe, just maybe, you may need them yourself. I really do hope that you and DH decide to have another go - I have admired your courage lately, after DH expressed his reluctance to continue but I know you have struggled with that decision. This IVF game is such a drain on everyone concerned, but I am a great believer in the numbers game, especially for DE tmt, and I would hope that if you do decide to try again, you will get that longed for family.

Anna, are you out there? Only 4 more days to go until your beta. Did you succumb and buy a pee-stick? I bet you did, and you are currently sitting there wondering whether you have the courage to do it or not. I was petrified of doing it and being disappointed, but the suspense was killing me also. In fact, the suspense is beginning to become a bit hard to bear again, I can't wait to here your BFP news!!! Thinking of you as your 2 ww draws to a close.x

Hi to everyone else on here

Bev xxx

[teachertam]

Hello All:

Bev:
Thanks for the feedback. I just think that some people do not understand how it is to want a child so badly and to not be able to just "get pregant" whenever they want. My mother thinks I'm buying too much stuff for Elena already. Especially, since I do not know what size she will wear.
I have been buying several sizes of clothing. I have really enjoyed buying things for her though. I told my mother not to spoil my fun! I don't see how buying Elena clothing will spoil her, since babies could care less about clothing.

I"m taking a break. I just finished painting the ceiling in Elena's room. DH is working on her skylights. I will paint the walls on Tuesday, as that is my day off.

Take care all,
Tammy

[erjumper]

Tammy,
Go right ahead and buy her everything you want. We picked up tiny Mia (yes, now we have Zia and Mia)(and we didn't name them) on Friday morning weighing a whopping 4 lbs. 1 oz. (1953 grams????) She is absolutely beautiful with a ton of dark soft hair and dark eyes. She has quite the temper too. Her apnea monitor has alarmed twice just for a few seconds. She will wear it til July 21st unless she has issues towards the end...then longer. She's a very pokey eater so it takes 20 to 35 minutes to get an ounce in. Her diapers are the funniest things you've ever seen. They are the size of a sanitary napkin. We've been shopping at every baby store in our area and bought every preemie outfit we could find. Is there a way to post a picture on here? I'd love you all to see her. Picking her up was very awkward as her birth mother was there to see us off. Couldn't wait to get out of there. Tomorrow I have to take her for a hour visit with her. I'm hating that. But it's what we have to do. Keeping track of everyone with what little time I have now. Loving all the good news on here.....keep it coming.
Love,
Lisa

[teachertam]

Lisa:
It is so good to hear from you. Zia and Mia are very nice names! Mia must be tiny! How often do you have to take Mia for a visit with her biological mother? Obviously, she was an unfit mother and that is why all of her other children were adopted out. It does not seem right that you would have to take her to see her biological mother! Hopefully, you can adopt her ASAP. I am dying to see pictures of your babies. I don't think that you can post pictures her. You could start a "Blogspot". I'm going to do that for our trip to China. That way family and friends can follow our journey. In the meantime, please email the photos to me via my email address below, as I'm anxious to see them !

Regards,
Tammy
email: twampler-heinzen@insightbb.com

[AMck]

Hi ladies, hope everyone Ok today

Wow, Lisa, two little girls. How lucky they are to have you!

Tammy, buy as much stuff as you want!!!

Bev, have pm'd you. Hope all OK x

Kat, hope you and DH are Ok and you can decide which path to take next. Thinking of you. PMA

Well I am on day 11 post transfer. My stomach has AF type cramps one minute then nothing the next. I really do think that my head will explode any minute now Haven't succombed to evil HPT yet....but really can't hold out much longer. Bev, you hit the nail on the head. Petrified of doing the test in case negative but suspense killing me not knowing AARRGGHH!It's sheer mental cruelty. Will talk to dp tonight about testing a couple of days early.

Hugs to all, thanks for your messages of support
Bye for now
Anna x

[children]

Dear Anna,

I am so sorry that you have to live with the unknown and I admire your strength. Looks like you are ready for the HPT. If you will start the test before the official beta, I suggest that you start with evening pees.

I started my HPT test on 7 days post transfer (evening) and it took NASA-grade lens to see the second line. It gets more obvious every 12 hours from then on, though. I always found evening pees gives stronger signals than morning pees. I also used ovulation test, which gives the same positive signal.

I did HPT on both of my FET cycle because that is what I do all the time - my job is to design experiments and test to see whether they work. I have to face negative results almost everyday, so one HPT negative does not kill me. I am used to be prepared to know any news, either bad or good. Another reason that I do HPT is that I would not like to cry on phone - this is how my clinic announces their discoveries. When I got my first FET negative result, the nurse who called me felt worse than I did, at least on the phone. She repeatedly told me she was sorry, I simply said to her "do not be sorry for me, I actually feel sorry for you, because you must have told 50% of people today who have gone through the same thing and got the same negative results, I understand it is not easy to tell people bad news and to try comfort them on the phone". She was shocked; I guess it was first time that she'd heard such responses when she tells people negative results. I was cool on the phone, but broke in tears while breaking the news to my husband. My point is HPT does help to calm me down, that was why I did it in both of my FET cycles.

Another thing about HPT is that there are examples that HPT negative but beta test positive. That is why negative HPTs do not kill me.

However, whether you do it is completely your decision - whichever way that you feel less stressful. BTW, stress level does not decrease the chance of getting pregnant on ivf people - there is a science paper about this, I swear!

Well, the truth is, a positive beta does not release the pressure at all, I am nervous still about my first scan - which will be July 12 - a long long wait! After that, if I see a heartbeat, I am sure I will be worried about its normal growth and possible m/c. I guess without a live birth, we can never claim a successful pregnancy. Please do not blame me being pragmatic, I am almost 44 and you know the rest!

Yasmina

[teachertam]

Anna:
I'm with Yasmina, I would want to test. I did a HPT for my last IVF. I did not want to be so emotional when I got the call. Good luck on whatever you decide to so. I'm going to test before my blood test when I do the FET.

Yasmina:
Good luck on your upcoming scan.

AF cramps are coming back. Today is cycle day 31, so I'm overdue.
I want to do the first scan this week, so that I can start my estrogen pills and begin the process. If I get pregnant on this IVF, I could have 2 infants close in age! (We should be going to China to get our daughter sometime next summer or early Fall.) That thought is a little overwhelming at times.

Take care all,
Tammy

[children]

Hi Tammy,
Are you saying that you are possiblely preg? There are so many examples that when people are waiting in between ivf cycles, they become preg themselves. I wonder if this is your case? Once your paperwork for adoption had gone through, you may have magically released whatever tentions preventing your pg and you may have become pg? Have you on birth control pills after your last AF? Boy, I am actually excited for you already, look, I just told everyone that I was calm. Anyway, hope your trip to China is smooth. Which town are you going? I remember many years ago, I traveled with a China Southern from Guangzhou to LA, I met at least 10 couples who carried their adoptive babies. I did not go up to congratulate them - thinking that would have been intrusive. I was not married then and I did not know I was sub-infertile either. Now, I could imagine you and your husband will be one of these happy couples and I am sure I will go to congratulate whoever carries an infan! All the best, Yasmina

[erjumper]

Hi everyone,
Just looking for some emotional support tonight after getting the official prediction on Zia's neurologic predictions. In a word, her future is "grim". The docs say we will never be more than infantile and is not ethically suitable for a liver transplant. She will be entered into Hospice care and has 8 to 12 months left in her sweet little life. As if that wasn't bad enough, we just found out that our other baby Mia's bio mom has a half sister/cousin...yes...you read it right......who has come forward as a family resourch and is petitioning the courts for custody. I had 3 to 4 hours of sleep last night and now I feel like i'm dying too. Why does this keep happening to us? All of us? Do we all really deserve all this pain?
Lisa

[children]

Lisa,

It is absolutely not fair what are about happening to you. No, no, no! It is worse to have been so hopeful and then all of the hopes just about to fall than never been hopeful at all! I do not think that I am sorry, so sorry are sufficient to express my sadness, disappointment and anger. Yes, I am angry about this situation. How in the world that anyone can handle this naked truth?

No, no one deserves this pain!

I would have sworn a lot if this was not a clean public site. I am running out of words - other than dirty swearing words.

I do not know what kind of the advantage of Mia's 1/2 bio aunt has - I certainly hope that she has already her own children and leave Mia to you.

Please let us know how things develop in the next few days, we are concerned, very concerned!

[teachertam]

Lisa:

I'm so sorry to hear the prognosis for little Zia! Life is just not fair.
I can't believe that out of the blue some distant relative is trying to adopt Mia. Just because she is petitioning the court, does not mean that she will be granted custody. My heart goes out to you and DH. There are not words to express how sorry I feel for you both. You don't deserve this!
Please keep us posted.

Yasmina:
No, I'm not pregnant.......as far as I know. AF is a few days late, but IVF does that to you. I am cramping and have sore breasts..............AF is definitely on her way. I have been IVF drug free, since my last failed IVF (no BC pills). I was referring to myself taking a HPT when I do my next IVF (FET). I hate the wait and I like to prepare myself for the worst.

Our trip to China is at least one year away We will definitely be going to Guangzhou, as the US Consulate is located there. We will most likely be going to Beijing and to whatever province our child if from. We will not know until we get our referral, which is 1 year away.

Anna: How are you? Any news on the HPT?

Take care all,
Tammy

[BevT]

Hi everyone, thought I would pop in and see how everyone is while I wait for the cleaners to arrive for my spring clean. Trying to keep myself busy, so I don't get tempted to start cleaning before they get here, who cares eh? Let them see me in all my glorious grime and untidyness - after all that IS what I am paying them to do. LOL.

Tammy, how's the decorating going? Elena will be such a lucky little girl. Still hoping that your next FET will be successful, I am sure you will have plenty of love for both of them.

Yasmina, how are you?

Lisa, I was so downhearted to read about little Zia's prognosis. I get so cross when THEY decide that a lifesaving transplant is not "ethically suitable". Everyone has the right to life, and improved health. I am sure you will not give up on her that easily. Does she have to go into Hospice care, could you opt to continue caring for her, or are the rules too rigid?

As for little Mia, I don't understand how this half sister/cousin has suddenly crept out of the woodwork - where was she when the other babies/children were adopted? I am hoping for your's and Mia's sake that teh courts are not taken in by this sudden appearance and willingness to have custody. Poor you, I can understand what this is doing to you and your DH. Try and get some sleep (easier said than done), we will all be praying for a positive outcome for your whole family.x

Hi Anna,

How are you coping with the final few days of the 2 ww torture? I'm getting quite excited for you, obviously we are ALL rooting for you and your BFP.x

Hi Kat, how's things? Just to throw something out of the blue at you, a couple I know of who have just been for donor egg tmt in Crete have opted for DE with the husband's sperm (not terribly good/plentiful) and also donor sperm! She has had 3 embies put back, 2 of DH's sperm and 1 of a donor, hoping to improve her chances of implantation. Just wondered if that was worth considering from your point of view, if DH was not keen on having the biopsy. Of course you might think "What the heck is she going on about?" and not want to consider it at all, but I thought it was worth mentioning, as I don't think there are many clinics that will do this type of tmt. Am always thinking of you, and wishing there was something I could do to "make it all better".x

Hello to all our fellow over 40's. Any one else around? Hope to see some of our "old friends" returning soon.

Bev xxx

[Kat]

Hi all

Just a quick lunchtime post ....

Anna - not long to go now!! Have you succumbed to the old hpt yet? If it helps at all, I really truly believed af was coming, I just felt exactly like I usually do, and was crying in the morning because I 'knew' it hadn't worked but then of course got the +ve that night on a hpt. I never really believed anyone who said they had af symptoms and then got a +ve but it really is true.

Bev - DH was previously dead set against donor sperm so that way wouldn't work for us but thanks for thinking of me. Although I could always drop it in conversation....

10th wedding anniversary tomorrow! Aren't I supposed to have had a couple of babies by now? Ha ha.

Kat xx

[teachertam]

LADIES:

GUESS WHAT??? I'm pregnant! I am on cycle day 33 today and decided to take a HPT. It turned positive immediately. I was in shock so I took another HPT............once again it turned positive immediately! I went to the hospital to have a blood test. The results are in.................BFP with a BETA of 506 and Progesterone level of 27.92. I am in shock! This is a miracle! I have not even done my FET.

Yasmina: You must have known.................lol!

Anna: Any news yet??

Kat: It is good to hear from you.

Bev: I finished painting Elena's room yesterday. I painted it a nice green color. Good think I am decorating in "Classic Pooh". That could be for a boy or a girl.

Regards,
Tammy

[BevT]

OH MY GOSH, I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING AT THE SAME TIME. Tammy, I can't believe it - that is such fantastic news. Yasmina must have a sixth sense. Hold on to your had, 506 is such a good level. I can' t stop grinning, laughing, gasping. You're in shock???!!!! So am I. A true miracle, and I am truly truly delighted for you. FANTASTIC