April/May Buddies??

[jackoa21]

Hello ladies
well the last 2 weeks have been the hardest of my life.. I really did not want to post because I did not think it was right to make all of you worry.. I am not really sure what has happened.. It seems (per the betas) that it was an ectopic.. That completly confuses me but I guess it can happen..

I need to take some time off (not from you but I guess to let my body heal)
DH and I have decided we will try again and I need to do my best to try to be happy that it worked with the one little figher.. I am scared to death that this can happen again but I need to have faith that it wont...
I hope you are all well and I hope that its ok I am still a 'buddy"
I really appreciate all your warm thoughts....
love and hugs

[Xrayem]

Hi Girls,

Jackie - so nice to hear from you! I'm glad you are holding up. We have all been thinking of you.

Carolyn - I am so pleased that you have told your parents. Of course they were supportive....they love you. I find that my parents are on the rollar coaster with me. They want grandkids from me as much as I want children and its they feel each triumph and disappointment as I do. I think it has actually bought my mum and I closer.

Well, I feel a little flat today. Very tired and low on PMA. I was going to do a pee stick but couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't face that single blue line.

Am trying to pep myself up to get up for the soccer tonight. We play at 1am. Everyone is Oz has gone soccer mad!

Do I feel any different from last time? Not really, but I have a better frame of mind this time round (except today!). At the moment I just feel over it all.

Em

[CarolynB]

Em - Sweetie, I am so sorry that you had a rough day. It is only 3 days to go now - almost there, although know that this is the toughest part. Try to stay away from the evil pea sticks if you can. I know that we are all desparate to know but I do worry that they are not as accurate as they could be. Know that you work in a hospital so sure that you know loads more than me about it all. Saw your post on June testers re-ivf and the cost. Focus on this being positive for now. I am sure that if you both have good jobs that you could find a way if that is what you need to do ivf next. Would you think of selling one of the cars? What about putting a little extra on the mortgage if your house is above the value of the mortgage? I have also been selling loads of stuff (books etc) on e-bay. Does not cover much but it feels like I am doing something constructive to cover the costs. My sister-in-law and I are also setting stuff aside for a car boot sale - do you have then down under? Let's stay positive and hope that none of this stuff will be relevant by Thursday.

You were so very unlucky in the footie. Aus played so well and Italy were jammy!

I am really really rooting for you.

Jackie - please don't feel that you have to stay away. Of course you are our buddy - there is no way that you are getting away from us. If it is what you need to do then totally understand but we are all here for each other - rough and smooth. It will ease with each day that passes and the pain will become a little less unbearable for you & your dh. It may be too early to think about it but what about trying acupuncture to help your next cycle

Jess - lovely to see you back. Hope that your Uncle is better now. We'll be watching out to cheer you on in the first week of July. Fingers crossed

Dania - Hope that AF is showing up by now. It is so frustrating that we spent so much time when she is the last thing that we want to see then with this jazz, we are desperate for her to show up I am jigging for you - but not too much as it hurts all over!

Well had the lap done today. Was low down on the list so had to wait from 7.30am (got there at 7am as cannot bear to be late and get stressed) until 1.30pm before they took me in. The waiting was the worse as made dh go to work as he has taken so much time off - no point both of us wasting another day, so he just collected me. Only took just over 30 mins and was coming around by soon after 2pm. Feels sore and can feel pain in my shoulders and ribs but knew from here that was par for the course and will be the air locks.

So my consultant said that the good news is that they found no problems beyond the blocked tubes. Quite a relief. The tubes are open at the top end which they did not know before so that sounds good also. He thinks that he can operate and take out the blockages out & reconnect the tubes for me. Op must be quite painful as would need two days in hospital afterwards but then I might be able to get pregnant naturally. He puts success rate of pregnancy after surgery at around 50% based on what he has seen. Cost sounds similar to a cycle of ivf so about £3,000 ish. He wants me back a week on Wednesday. We will look through photos and then we'll have to decide More choices and still no plan. I hate not having a plan. I guess that I think that we should try the op but dh refusing to be drawn at this stage. Might post a thread and see whether other ladies have had success after such an op. He said that I would have to wait about 4 weeks to get it done. Any comments/feedback/input would be much appreciated.

Baby dust to you all.
Love Carolyn xxxxxx

[jackoa21]

Ok
so I can't handle this anymore.. I miss you guys too much.. My heart is still breaking but I am having a momentary moment of PMA.. This will work next time and I will have a baby.. This ectopic (or whatever it was) is horrible but I can get through this.. We will have a baby and look back on this some day and think what we went through.. Ok so here is my worry after all of this when we can actually go again what if we only get 1 egg or worse yet no eggs.. I am not trying to be negative but we all know the last time the eggs just were not there...
Carolyn its funny you mention Accupuncuture I have my first consultation Wednesday night.. I am hoping they can help with my brain and heart and the infertility... With the sugery thing your doc suggested I have no information but it sounds a little scarry.. I am a big chicken though.. I hope some of the other ladies can give you lots of advice.. I can give you support thats all.
love and hugs
Jackie

[veronika]

Hello dear ivf/ivi-buddies!

Jackie, buddy,
I am glad that you could find some hope and PMA again!

Em,
hang in there! You are doing a great job in being patient and positive. I really enjoyed you're other post pointing out the reasons why it just HAD to be a BFP this time. And it will be!

Carolyn,
I am glad that the lap is done and that they could give you some good news. I can very well understand your impatience with yet another "set of options". We can just never know what decision will be the right one, sometimes I whish somebody would just tell me what to do!

Dania,
any signs of AF? Hope you are doing well!

I had my review appointment. I was very happy with my doctor, he answered each and every one of my questions and was able to boost my PMA (although he did tell me that with our embryos we had a 60% chance of it working, but well, that's statistics, here I am on the 40% side).
The clinic even gave me some free medication for my next cycle. Given that we are paying everything out of our own pocket, I was very grateful for that. So I decided to go for a new cycle in August. Today, however, I got a call from my doctor telling me that he had a cancellation and therefore a free appointment for laprascopy. He has a nine-month waiting list for the surgery, and I had been only waiting for 5 month. I had to decide what to do right away, so here I am going for the lap on July 17th. Apparently he looks what exactly is wrong in the tubes and removes the blockages right away (as long as they aren't too bad, which he can only decide then). After the operation there is a month of waiting, and then we can try to conceive naturally for a while. If it doesn't work its IVF again.
I am happy to have this opportunity but at the same time I feel I lose precious time for IVF, if ever the whole natural conceiving approach doesn't work... Just like you Carolyn I was thinking of starting another thread asking people about success rates with this surgery...

Sending you all a bucket load of baby dust,

Veronika

[Xrayem]

Carolyn - I'm pleased that you sailed through the op....and what a result?!!! Well done your tubes! I don't know much about the unblocking op I'm afraid, but if it gives you 50% chance of concieving naturally if it works, hell, I'm sold! If only there was a magical cure for unexplained infertility (a shrink??? I was told one helpful soul it was all in my head).

Please don't take that the wrong way, I just feeling dreadfully bitter and twisted at the moment. My test date is friday and then on saturday, Brisbane is having a Pregnancy and Baby Expo (the adverts are everywhere - I screamed at the radio this morning for rubbing it in!) To make matters worst, DH's mum is coming over from NZ for a week and Dh doesn't want to tell her that we are doing this as he thinks she doesn't agree with it. So if its a negative, I have to put on a happy face and pretend I'm not dying inside. I want to tell her she can get out of my house if thats her thoughts......I should mention that she has 7 children and 6 grandkids already!

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! I dont want this to be me anymore.

[NickiMark]

Em, I am sure it'll happen for u really soon x x x

It's like that in our family, well dh's side anyway, big family, only one baby from his brother at the momnet but his brother g/friend is a such a cow, and loves to make us unhappy by rubbing our noses in the fact they had a accident, and their baby wasnt even planned!!!

Arghhh!!!!

Anyway, Em, really hope u get BFP soon. xx 3 days to go xx

[CarolynB]

Nikki/Em - why are people so mean. It costs so little to be nice. Any how I am sure that what goes around, comes around. They will get their come uppance for rubbing our noses in it at some stage & we will get our just rewards - fingers crossed

Em - I really do feel for you. You are doing so well hanging on in there. Just 2 days to go. I am so hoping that it is going to be a BFP for you hun. Don't worry about the weekend yet. Just focus on staying positive for the last 48 hours. You can do this

Veronika - Glad that your review appointment went well. How spookey - sounds like you & me are in quite similar positions with tubes/lap/unblockage etc - although of course you are lots younger than me!!! Great that they have had a cancellation and they can fit you in. Really hope that they can do the unblocking in the one op. I keep thinking that I wish that it was all done for me and that I did not have to have another op again so soon if we decide to go that way.

Dania - hope that you are ok. Not seen you post for a few days - may be you are just chilling out. Still jigging to hope that your AF arrives

Jackie - so pleased to read that you are feeling PMA. It must have been so very very hard for you. You are a strong lady. You will get through this. You will have your baby. May be they will try different drugs next time so that there are more eggs. There are lots of different things that they can try. I have found the acu very good to help me manage my stress levels but he has alos worked on physical things with me. I am sure that your acu person will be able to help you and this may be another way to boost the number of eggs that you will get next time. Let us know how you get on Wednesday. It can only help

So pain has gone from my shoulders but my tummy is very very sore and bloated - no make that massive. Will be in my biggest, baggiest dress for work tomorrow. I pray that nobody would have the nerve to ask if I am pregnant. I know that would send me over the edge. Scars look small and fine which is good.

I am trying to think about all the questions I want to ask next Wednesday - how long might the tubes might be open? How likely is it that he can repair both sides? Do they give me any drugs or are we completely on our own? And on and on and on...............Don't care if it hurts - just want something to work.

Anyway - going to watch second half of France vs Spain.

Good night all. Sleep well. Sweet dreams.
Love Carolyn xxxx

[DaniaBB]

Hi everyone!!!

Em-Its really not easy to go through the 2ww- I think its good that you put all your thoughts down so they may not swirl in your head around as much. I’m a big analyzer and during my 2ww I would think about similar things like you are right now- and even now I analyse so much- its curiosity of wanting to understand what is going on inside our bodies. I think that you did your best and gave it the best possible shot trying on your own after the IUI and getting as much rest as possible is the best thing you can do.I thin the HPT test is probably too early so don’t even take it into consideration (even if on the box it says 4 days b4 your AF it only works in 60% of cases- its a big marketing thing!) About Murphy’s law- rules were made to be broken (hahahaaa!!) Keep your belly warm and think positive vibes- I’m keeping my fingers crossed and praying for you! Big Hug!!
That comment that you screamed at the radio mademe laugh cuz I’ve talked back to the Tv when I saw ads releated to preg too – hey atleast it makes us feel better at that moment- got to let all that bottled up energy out!!!.As for your mum-in-law- if you can’t tell her- and you feel you’ll have to fake happiness- at night when she’s asleep you can come here and vent all your feelings we’ll be here for you! Hang in there I’m really hoping that you’ll get BFP!

Caorlyn and EM- I’ve been following the World Cup on/off- I saw the Aussie and Italy game on Monday- what a game-Aussie played wonderfully- my DH’s family is Italian so they were all watching and I watched too- the game was really captivating.

Jess- Glad to see your back here- Wishing you all the best on your 2ww!!! Don’t forget to eat lots of pineapple!

Jackie- It must be really tough, but it sounds like your doing better and its great that you decided to try again. I’m glad to see your back I was wondering how you were doing.

Veronika- sounds like you have made a good decision quite quickly . Its better you don’t have to wait so long- its so terrible in Montreal how long these waiting lists are to get op. Luckily he will do the procedure on the same day and tehn after the month of recovery you’ll be able to try on your own. The thread idea is great- I did it and it gave me faith.

Carolyn-How great that you had a wonderful time with your parents- it sounds like you are relieved that you told them and it sounds like they’ll be there to support you. Your mom sounds like she’ll help you out doing research. I’m glad for you. I do know what you mean though- when we told my in-laws I felt relieved but at the same time don’t want to talk about it every time we go over to have supper with them. They’ve been great- they haven’t aksed much- more at the begginning.

The results from the Lap sound promising- that it is what they expected and that they can resolve it. I know its an important decision to make to have the op or not- If he can give successful unblock the tubes and you feel comfortable having the op-I think it would be a good choice. Maybe ask him what the consequences of the op are in terms of scar tissue affecting the outcome of pregnancy? Just the fact that you would increase your chances of conceiving naturally sounds good even if it will be tough on your body .Posting the thread is a great idea- I did it and got some great answers that renewed my hope. Thanks for thinking of me - you’re so sweet.

Well, our long weekend away in the mountains was great- really relaxing- we went walking in the Tremblant village and prepared some great BBQ on the terrasse- we were 11 so it was busy- everyone watching the World Cup. We had a great time and the birthday girl was really surprised! I did have a piece of the cake and some ice cream- it was worth it.Last week when I still hadn’t gotten AF- I had to cancel my saline and the Dr’s office said it would only go until next cycle at the end of July- I was dissapointed and relieved at the same time worried they wanted to do an Op and it would leave scar tissue in the uterus. I spotted on wed then it stopped- my acu recommended I do a HPT but I didn’t want to- too afraid of seeing that one –ve line again.Saturday morning I decided to do it and it came out a faint positive- my DH and I didn’t believe it –so I retested Tuesday and it was positive full lines-I’m amazed and shocked and feel like this is a miracle- they told us we only had a 10% chance of conceiving naturally- so I’m still in disbelief after all we go through with IVF. I guess my acu must have helped .I feel extremely grateful and blessed but feel shocked. So I guess there is hope even if you have fibroids and male factor. So I hope you don’t mind if I stick around since I feel close to you all.

Sending warm hugs and baby dust to you all!!!!
Dania

[CarolynB]

Dania

OMG - OMG - OMG

That is totally amazing. I read all of your (long) post and then got to the bottom. I am afraid that I never thought that a late AF could be because you are actually pregnant. I had to re-read it twice before I really clocked what you had actually written. You must be totally gobsmacked and over the moon all at the same time.

Have read that can sometimes also happen due to the strong drugs that we are given for ivf - can actually boost fertility. May be it was a mixture of that plus the acu. They stay in our system for 3 months which is why some of our clinics make us wait beteen tmt.

I am so pleased for you & your dh.

Let us know how you do over the coming weeks. And enjoy being pregnat. WOW

Go girl.
Love Carolyn xxx

[veronika]

Dania
that is so incredible and wonderful!!! Congratulations, I am very happy for you
I can imagine that you are in disbelieve, this was probably the last thing that you expected to happen. I felt like Carolyn, had to read your post twice because I didn't quite grasp the message at first. This is really wonderful news! Soon the reality of it all will sink in and you can enjoy being pregnant.

Veronika

[veronika]

Dania,
I've been wanting to ask you for a while, and now, with your success message even more : where do you go for accupuncture? And what are their prices? Thanks! I unfortunately won't be able to post for the rest of the day because we are finally moving, but as soon as we're done I'll be back, hopefully with more energy!

Hugs, Vero

[jackoa21]

Em
Thinking about you how are you doing????

Dania that is wonderful news.Just try to be happy and enjoy this time.. I have my first accupuncture appointment tonight so I am pretty excited..

To everyone else I am thinking of you and I just wanted to thank you for being there for me.. I had to take some time but I always new I could come back to my friends...

love and hugs
Jackie

[Xrayem]

Hi guys,

Jackie - thank you so much for asking after me after you have been through so much! Your a wonderful friend. I'm good. I had a great day today at work (lots of laughing) and I have resigned myself to the fact that I can't change tomorrow's outcome (oh that horrible line - what will be, will be). If its a BFN, I shall dust myself of and carry on. By the law of averages, we should all have success if we try long enough, right?

Carolyn - Have you decided about your surgery? I hope the answers are coming clear to you. I'm sending you a big warm hug just cause I can!

Dania - That's just faboulous news! I LOVE hearing natural pregnancy stories!!!! They fill us all with hope!

Well, going to go and chill out for a bit before DH comes home. Thanks for your support again!

Em

PS: oh, today I saw a very pregnant 16 yr old smoking in the car park and contemplated running her over....is that wrong?

[LauraLou]

PS: oh, today I saw a very pregnant 16 yr old smoking in the car park and contemplated running her over....is that wrong?

Not wrong at all! I'm a nurse on a high risk obstetrics floor and sometimes I want to scream. We currently have 4 patients who've tested positive for PCP or cocaine while pregnant. My favorite is the one who said she was at her brother's house and found some white powder in a drawer and ate it. That's why she tested positive. Couldn't she think of a better story than that?

Life is so unfair sometimes. I can't have a baby, but "I ate white powder in a drawer" girl is having her third.

Dania- Congratulations!! I am so happy for you. That's the second person in a month or so to have a natural BFP. Maybe it's contagious!

Jackie- You sound good. I'm glad to see that you are doing better.

My review appointment is next Friday, 7/7. It feels like it's been forever since the IVF. I am anxious to move forward.

Best wishes!