Hi Ho Ladies,
Sorry I have been MIA for a while...
I have had a bad week in regards to the being childless thing and then I ended up getting the flu from hell again and have been in bed for a few days isn't life great kicks you when your down. A friend who has a 9 month old excitedly told us that she is pregnant with number 2 and how easy it was for them (they don't know about us so I can't hate her that much). It was just a big blow to my happy thoughts so I took it quite bad and have been moping around for the last week, screaming, punching things, trying to pick a fight with DH (who by the way wouldn't play). Feeling sorry for myself and everyone else who has been in the same situation like you ladies......
Can't stay at computer for long otherwise DH will be upset and make me go back to bed... Steph that is great news about the little one, make sure your boss doesn't put anything past you the big ass that he is....Good news Jen about your house I am sure you will find another one soon. Lola in action kicking someones arse Laura Croft style I likey....Little bring on our next rounds I say i am sick of this sitting around waiting I have been on this waiting band wagon for 6 years now and I have had enough. Camilla i hope your doing great with your pink nails and bundle of love on the inside tkae it easy.
Ok going back to bed I think all the IVF drugs have stuffed my immune system as I have never had so many flus in my life and these are awful ones that make you head turn into a sponge..Take care ladies will post again soon..Walshy.
Ps On a good note i have lost 7 pounds and i think i am getting AF again from the grass clippings...joy!!!
Oct 05 Cycle Buddies
Oi oi my beauties!
The site hasn’t been working muy bueno – I started panicking that if it closed I wouldn’t be able to contact any of you. Would have to google Steph goose or Little R dubai. Well, my wonderful young amigas, I have 5 days of pain before I finally get my life back from the evil cloaked God of Examville. Woo n a Hoo!
Walsheroo – we all get the sad weeks when the unfairness is almost palpable. The only cure is one step in front of the other until you come out the other side. Glad your grass clippings beverage has had an effect on Miss AF. Not long and its all aboard the 3TLL! A tanned and lithe Demetrio is stocking the galley with your favourite non alcoholic lovelies and shrub drinks. You’ll have Miss R to keep you company – regaling you with tales from the last series of Greys.
Steph – did you murder your boss in a pregnancy fueled frenzy? You should try it, pregnancy is a good defence.
R – how’re you feeling? Tummy better?
Jemla – charming the NHS – they don’t stand a chance! Things are coming together for you, its like an eclipse or something. You will have everything in order by the end of the year – the full house! Baby/mini/home.
Well, I had my appt with McFertile. You know I was over the whole ivf lark. Hadn’t thought about it for a long time and with appt approaching opened up a lot of stuff I thought I’d dealt with. Anyhoooo. McFertile was excellent, funny and down to earth and treated me like a colleague. Answered all of my questions and got a bit excited about my idea to thaw a whole batch of my embryos and try and grow to blast. He said that we could afford to experiment a bit and try and get me pregnant sooner. He was also really postive about acu. He tells me that 3 studies have been published in the past 6 months that show statistically significant results of acu improving preg rates. He recommended a clinic for me and I’m going to go. Shes a doc and a TCM doc with excellent success rates. So, all in all, a very good consult and I’m more into it now and so is dh. Am also having a scan in a week to look at the evilminx hydrosalpinx to decide if I need it removed. He reckons will be fine and went through the scientific criteria of when to take action or not. I love him, but not in a Mexico way.
If all well and they get some special culture medium from Denver and the embryologist is into it, I’ll start in August on Operation: ColdBlast. Hoorah!
Since I’ve been typing, Germany have scored 2 goals in the WC. COME ON SWEDEN! You can’t let this happen!!!
OK, I’m off back to my books (insert yawn here). Exam in Sheffield on Wednesday and Thursday and then its adios studies!!
Take it easy amigas
Love, Lolly
xxxxxx
The site hasn’t been working muy bueno – I started panicking that if it closed I wouldn’t be able to contact any of you. Would have to google Steph goose or Little R dubai. Well, my wonderful young amigas, I have 5 days of pain before I finally get my life back from the evil cloaked God of Examville. Woo n a Hoo!
Walsheroo – we all get the sad weeks when the unfairness is almost palpable. The only cure is one step in front of the other until you come out the other side. Glad your grass clippings beverage has had an effect on Miss AF. Not long and its all aboard the 3TLL! A tanned and lithe Demetrio is stocking the galley with your favourite non alcoholic lovelies and shrub drinks. You’ll have Miss R to keep you company – regaling you with tales from the last series of Greys.
Steph – did you murder your boss in a pregnancy fueled frenzy? You should try it, pregnancy is a good defence.
R – how’re you feeling? Tummy better?
Jemla – charming the NHS – they don’t stand a chance! Things are coming together for you, its like an eclipse or something. You will have everything in order by the end of the year – the full house! Baby/mini/home.
Well, I had my appt with McFertile. You know I was over the whole ivf lark. Hadn’t thought about it for a long time and with appt approaching opened up a lot of stuff I thought I’d dealt with. Anyhoooo. McFertile was excellent, funny and down to earth and treated me like a colleague. Answered all of my questions and got a bit excited about my idea to thaw a whole batch of my embryos and try and grow to blast. He said that we could afford to experiment a bit and try and get me pregnant sooner. He was also really postive about acu. He tells me that 3 studies have been published in the past 6 months that show statistically significant results of acu improving preg rates. He recommended a clinic for me and I’m going to go. Shes a doc and a TCM doc with excellent success rates. So, all in all, a very good consult and I’m more into it now and so is dh. Am also having a scan in a week to look at the evilminx hydrosalpinx to decide if I need it removed. He reckons will be fine and went through the scientific criteria of when to take action or not. I love him, but not in a Mexico way.
If all well and they get some special culture medium from Denver and the embryologist is into it, I’ll start in August on Operation: ColdBlast. Hoorah!
Since I’ve been typing, Germany have scored 2 goals in the WC. COME ON SWEDEN! You can’t let this happen!!!
OK, I’m off back to my books (insert yawn here). Exam in Sheffield on Wednesday and Thursday and then its adios studies!!
Take it easy amigas
Love, Lolly
xxxxxx
me 39 dh 41
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
Hey my Octochicks....yep I tried the site and it was down and it did panic me for a little while....what if the whole thing crashed 
It really saddened me to think that the only people I can really talk to about my feelings are thousands of kilometres away and I haven't even met them. Food for thought about how my life is really empty at the moment
You're my lifeline, my Octobuddies
My BFF is leaving for the summer and that is going to hurt....she's the only person I can talk to here and is ultra-supportive although she doesn't know the pain we all do. I guess she's a bit like your BFF, Lola.
My DH had 5 days off so I sent him back to CH to see his friends and family. He'll be working as soon as he returns here...so I won't be seeing very much of him these coming weeks. Although we need each other, he also needs to have fun and be "home" in Switzerland. He needs to recharge those batteries before contending with the FET and his job.... I would have loved to have gone with him, but given that I really needed to contact the Dr and come to some sort of decision, I have to stick around here.
We have made our decision and am now expecting a call from our great Dr so I can go in and collect the meds. She has been so helpful and incredibly available to answer our questions. She has bent over backwards to accommodate us....
Bottomline: we will be starting this month as soon as AF comes on Day 1... I will be doing a short protocol this time (no downregging) so it will be very simple. I only have to take meds for the thickening of the endometrium and naturally progesterone before and after ET. Hopefully there will be ET and my precious frosties will make the thaw....
Anyway...that's my news...additionally if round 3 doesn't take...well we are going to do a FINAL IVF in November.
Walshy.... I know how you feel....had one of those last week...my little cousin keeps sending me pics of her beautiful baby and if she persists, I may actually write to her to stop. I can't handle seeing other women being so happy...I know, I am selfish.
I really hope you get better and kick the flu in the stomach. Glad your DH is around to take care of you... give you some TLC 
Wow, congrats on the weight loss and hopefully your AF will be around soon. You're just waiting for your AF before you begin right? Sorry, my brain is fried by the excessive amount of sun Virtual hugs to you! BTW, is Grey's on? Due to the WC, they have stopped broadcasting...but on Monday 3 July it all begins again
Lola... GREAT news about the appointment...have you noticed that when you have low expectations, those appointments usually are terrific and when you expect them to be simple and good, it's usually the other way around? It sounds like you and your Dr are on the same page. Your experiment sounds like a great idea....I honestly believe that it's going to work this time . You're on a roll as we can see with your exams.... soon you will have your life back again Until then, I am sending you heaps of sun to contend with the next few days. BTW, I have bought a really trashy novel on a Shopalholic (Sophie Kinsella) for the next 2ww..I can't find your Janet Evanovich author here 
Will have to wait until DH goes to an English-speaking country for work...
Hihihihi, big match on Monday night.... my DH will be watching it on a bog screen in the park in Plainpalais in Geneva (do you know this area of Geneva?). I am so jealous as it will be an incredible evening with lots of atmosphere... I will be supporting from home on my 24th floor.... not the same
Steph...what a jerk......how unbelievable...I am pretty sure that you can sue him for discrimination, surely as it sounds very illegal. I hope your friend in HR gave you some sound advice and some tools to get rid of him legally Well done on your ultrasound...I knew it. I hope you're celebrating the good news this weekend....with your feet up
Jen... you're going to be RICH Vive Thursday! Big decisions to make and it's all falling into place. I am happy for you...you deserve some great news... as Lola says...it's THE beginning, house, mini, home and BABY You must be relieved. Wishing you all the best to find your new home.... for a new beginning
Camilla... how are you feeling? Thinking of you and am very envious
Missing you all and wishing you were all just around the corner for a cuppa tea
Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Love and heaps of sun to you,
Little R
It really saddened me to think that the only people I can really talk to about my feelings are thousands of kilometres away and I haven't even met them. Food for thought about how my life is really empty at the moment
You're my lifeline, my OctobuddiesMy BFF is leaving for the summer and that is going to hurt....she's the only person I can talk to here and is ultra-supportive although she doesn't know the pain we all do. I guess she's a bit like your BFF, Lola.
My DH had 5 days off so I sent him back to CH to see his friends and family. He'll be working as soon as he returns here...so I won't be seeing very much of him these coming weeks. Although we need each other, he also needs to have fun and be "home" in Switzerland. He needs to recharge those batteries before contending with the FET and his job.... I would have loved to have gone with him, but given that I really needed to contact the Dr and come to some sort of decision, I have to stick around here.
We have made our decision and am now expecting a call from our great Dr so I can go in and collect the meds. She has been so helpful and incredibly available to answer our questions. She has bent over backwards to accommodate us....
Bottomline: we will be starting this month as soon as AF comes on Day 1... I will be doing a short protocol this time (no downregging) so it will be very simple. I only have to take meds for the thickening of the endometrium and naturally progesterone before and after ET. Hopefully there will be ET and my precious frosties will make the thaw....
Anyway...that's my news...additionally if round 3 doesn't take...well we are going to do a FINAL IVF in November.
Walshy.... I know how you feel....had one of those last week...my little cousin keeps sending me pics of her beautiful baby and if she persists, I may actually write to her to stop. I can't handle seeing other women being so happy...I know, I am selfish.
I really hope you get better and kick the flu in the stomach. Glad your DH is around to take care of you... give you some TLC Wow, congrats on the weight loss and hopefully your AF will be around soon. You're just waiting for your AF before you begin right? Sorry, my brain is fried by the excessive amount of sun Virtual hugs to you! BTW, is Grey's on? Due to the WC, they have stopped broadcasting...but on Monday 3 July it all begins again Lola... GREAT news about the appointment...have you noticed that when you have low expectations, those appointments usually are terrific and when you expect them to be simple and good, it's usually the other way around
? It sounds like you and your Dr are on the same page. Your experiment sounds like a great idea....I honestly believe that it's going to work this time . You're on a roll as we can see with your exams.... soon you will have your life back again Until then, I am sending you heaps of sun to contend with the next few days. BTW, I have bought a really trashy novel on a Shopalholic (Sophie Kinsella) for the next 2ww..I can't find your Janet Evanovich author here Will have to wait until DH goes to an English-speaking country for work...Hihihihi, big match on Monday night.... my DH will be watching it on a bog screen in the park in Plainpalais in Geneva (do you know this area of Geneva?). I am so jealous as it will be an incredible evening with lots of atmosphere... I will be supporting from home on my 24th floor.... not the same
Steph...what a jerk......how unbelievable...I am pretty sure that you can sue him for discrimination, surely as it sounds very illegal. I hope your friend in HR gave you some sound advice and some tools to get rid of him legally
Well done on your ultrasound...I knew it. I hope you're celebrating the good news this weekend....with your feet up Jen... you're going to be RICH
Vive Thursday! Big decisions to make and it's all falling into place. I am happy for you...you deserve some great news... as Lola says...it's THE beginning, house, mini, home and BABY You must be relieved. Wishing you all the best to find your new home.... for a new beginning Camilla... how are you feeling? Thinking of you and am very envious
Missing you all and wishing you were all just around the corner for a cuppa tea
Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Love and heaps of sun to you,
Little R
Me: 33--DH: 35, TTC: 6 yrs
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
Hi girlsBack from work once again. After a few days of teenage hell, we are back on track again and their behaving.
Little R - So good to see your plan all in place, bring on the FET but never say FINAL, it's going to work and you won't need that final ivf
. Oh ye, i've told you before, i can make it round the corner to yours for a cuppa anytime Loopy - Tons of luck for your exams, you will fly through them. Keep that pecker up. I wanted Sweden too, Won't see gorgeous Freddie again now
Good to hear from everyone else. Sorry i'm being lazy but have hurt my back so need to move around.
I called the hosp and am now on the cancellation list, will call them every week to hassle them but they were very helpful. I just feel a bit left out at the moment, you all seem to have plans for the next cycle and mine is so far away. Desperately hoping for a op date, which is nearer.
Bucketfuls of hugs as normal away to watch BB.
Jen x
me 38 dh 38, ttc for 6yrs,
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
Hey my Octopals.... have been thinking about you all since yesterday.
It's Monday again...it always seems to come around so fast
Good news: I am collecting my meds tomorrow then will await AF
I have been feeling a bit lonely. My family got together in Switzerland with my DH...and I wasn't there. First time that has happened in years...it's very weird (as I felt left out) but also lovely that my family and my DH get on so well together. Anyway...England won their match...but I didn't think that they played very well.
Of course, I'll be watching Switzerland tonight..... I hope they get through!
Jen, don't feel left out. To be honest, I don't put much faith in the cycle we are doing now and am psychologically getting myself ready for IVF in November. I don't want to sound pessimistic but I don't think that success rates for FET in my clinic here are very high. I just want to be realistic. So you won't be alone. Please don't think that anyway. I am here for you....just send me a note
Lola, fingers crossed for you two big days..... breath, breath, breath and then it's over Celebration for you
Walshy, hope you're on the road to recovery with your green trimmings!
Steph, good luck with Monday and handling (now officially named/reduced/dehumanized) "the Thing"! Just think about your little one when you feel like ripping his head off!
Camilla, hope all is well with the bump...
Love & heaps of virtual hugs,
Little R
It's Monday again...it always seems to come around so fast
Good news: I am collecting my meds tomorrow
then will await AFI have been feeling a bit lonely. My family got together in Switzerland with my DH...and I wasn't there. First time that has happened in years...it's very weird (as I felt left out) but also lovely that my family and my DH get on so well together. Anyway...England won their match...but I didn't think that they played very well.
Of course, I'll be watching Switzerland tonight..... I hope they get through!
Jen, don't feel left out. To be honest, I don't put much faith in the cycle we are doing now and am psychologically getting myself ready for IVF in November. I don't want to sound pessimistic but I don't think that success rates for FET in my clinic here are very high. I just want to be realistic. So you won't be alone. Please don't think that anyway. I am here for you....just send me a note
Lola, fingers crossed for you two big days..... breath, breath, breath
and then it's over Celebration for you Walshy, hope you're on the road to recovery
with your green trimmings!Steph, good luck with Monday and handling (now officially named/reduced/dehumanized) "the Thing"!
Just think about your little one when you feel like ripping his head off!Camilla, hope all is well with the bump...
Love & heaps of virtual hugs,
Little R
Me: 33--DH: 35, TTC: 6 yrs
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
Hello again girls!
Right, just spent a while reading through everyone's posts because last week was out for a couple of days and then, alarmingly, site was not working and thought, like you, that I'd lost you! Have tried to make mental notes of what I need to say but apologies if I miss anything out.
Lola - Fab news re your appt. And you've only got to get through this week and then exam free, hooray. By the way I think Tainted Love was one of the first records I ever bought, love Marc Almond.
Jen - Thursday seems to be the day (Lola exam, your flat deadline). Sure to be a good outcome. Glad to hear you've successfully taken charge of situation and contacting hosp re cancellation list was a v good idea. Gold star.
Little R - Excited for you! Obviously you'll be letting us know when AF appears. Wierd to think we know so much personal info about each other when we wouldn't be asking same of our friends at home! I wish you were here and I'd take good care of you
Steph - Agree with all other comments about your boss. Surely HR can sort him out? Anyway so happy for you seeing everything is OK from scan. It's a relief isn't it. Know you won't slow down but remember to eat lots of the right foods. It's not true that you have to eat for two, just eat frequently and healthily.
Walshy - Hope you're getting over your flu. Poor you. What exactly is in your green, grassy type drink? Do you have to hold your nose when you drink it?
We went to a wedding reception on Saturday night and I managed to stay up till gone 11 o'clock! What's more amazing is that I also managed to prise my DH away without much fuss (as I was driving) and he wasn't completely p***ed! Now I have to go because the morning is slipping away and I have housey stuff to do.
I feel everyone is getting more positive about their forthcoming cycles and I'm sending some more PMA across the water. I hope you don't think of me sitting here all smug and patronising. I'm definitely not. I want you all to get what you deserve.
Lots of love and hugs.
Camilla xxxxx
Right, just spent a while reading through everyone's posts because last week was out for a couple of days and then, alarmingly, site was not working and thought, like you, that I'd lost you! Have tried to make mental notes of what I need to say but apologies if I miss anything out.
Lola - Fab news re your appt. And you've only got to get through this week and then exam free, hooray. By the way I think Tainted Love was one of the first records I ever bought, love Marc Almond.
Jen - Thursday seems to be the day (Lola exam, your flat deadline). Sure to be a good outcome. Glad to hear you've successfully taken charge of situation and contacting hosp re cancellation list was a v good idea. Gold star.
Little R - Excited for you! Obviously you'll be letting us know when AF appears. Wierd to think we know so much personal info about each other when we wouldn't be asking same of our friends at home! I wish you were here and I'd take good care of you
Steph - Agree with all other comments about your boss. Surely HR can sort him out? Anyway so happy for you seeing everything is OK from scan. It's a relief isn't it. Know you won't slow down but remember to eat lots of the right foods. It's not true that you have to eat for two, just eat frequently and healthily.
Walshy - Hope you're getting over your flu. Poor you. What exactly is in your green, grassy type drink? Do you have to hold your nose when you drink it?
We went to a wedding reception on Saturday night and I managed to stay up till gone 11 o'clock! What's more amazing is that I also managed to prise my DH away without much fuss (as I was driving) and he wasn't completely p***ed! Now I have to go because the morning is slipping away and I have housey stuff to do.
I feel everyone is getting more positive about their forthcoming cycles and I'm sending some more PMA across the water. I hope you don't think of me sitting here all smug and patronising. I'm definitely not. I want you all to get what you deserve.
Lots of love and hugs.
Camilla xxxxx
Me 38 DH 40
March 2005 cyle IUI abandoned
May 2005 cycle IUI unsuccessful
TTC 3 years - secondary infertility
IVF cycle Oct 05 - BFP!
March 2005 cyle IUI abandoned
May 2005 cycle IUI unsuccessful
TTC 3 years - secondary infertility
IVF cycle Oct 05 - BFP!
Nice to read your news Camilla...great that you were able to stay awake gone 11pm
Never ever thought you were smug or patronising....it's really lovely that you are continuing to spur us on
I need all the encouragement I can get...I'm going to be very alone this cycle... as DH doesn't really need to be around Talk about being independent
Must dash...got some errands to run...
Hope all my other Octopals are smiling in their respective countries
Love ya,
Little R
Never ever thought you were smug or patronising....it's really lovely that you are continuing to spur us on
I need all the encouragement I can get...I'm going to be very alone this cycle... as DH doesn't really need to be around
Talk about being independent Must dash...got some errands to run...
Hope all my other Octopals are smiling in their respective countries
Love ya,
Little R
Me: 33--DH: 35, TTC: 6 yrs
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
-
Inhale, Exhale
- Regular
- Posts: 388
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:13 pm
- Location: PA, USA
Sigh of Relief!! last I tried to check in, the site was down.... as the rest of you... very scared! how sad i would be that I could not hear as you all get your BFP's! not to mention.. what else would I do to kill a half hour at work every morning?? he, he.
It is very rainy, rainy, rainy and not supposed to leave anytime soon.. let the flooding begin! The train from Philly to Washington was shut down... apparently the entire east coast is a mess.. Too bad our roads weren't flooded.. perfect rainy day to stay at home on couch and nap/tv/read/nap.
Loolers--- appt sounds fantabu-lo-so luv bunny. My clinic always goes for blast. I was always surprised that your clinics don't usually do that. Your plan of attack is very Syndey inspired! ... she did end up on the beach in a sunset with hottie Vaughn and 2 kiddo's... ah perfect tv life. As for exams... luck wit dat! although the oozing knowledge tends to tell me no luck is needed. Oh how fun it will be for you when they are over.. all that extra brain activity!
Littles- I thought we outlawed the negative side of the brain function? Only annoyingly chipper chearleader positivity and good tidings! I will send your spanky pants immediately... demetrio would luv a show, raarh! Your next cycle will be the big one.. and aren't big ones always a good thang? Sorry that you had to stay behind from DH... only thing to do is luv the girl time and all things girly... manny/peddys, smut books and soaps.. do you have soaps over there? I couldn't find the books that Lola was talkin of either.. they must only be accessed by secret agent spygirls?
Jens "let the money flow"- let the bidding begin! Dream house is on its way! At the moment I would just like a clean house.. I have not been home long enough to clean mine.. such is summertime weekends... cookouts, picnics, etc. You will not be left behind.. keep hasselin. that is the one thing we do have in our control!
Walshy- Sorry you have had a crapper week... hope the sicky is gone.. the magi bubble is on standby if you can pull it from Lola's vise like grip! congrats on weight loss! What is in those shakes.. hot body in a bottle?
Camilla- doing house things.. can you fly over and do mine? As for the eating.. I am craving everything I hated (red meat, hotdogs, fried foods) and hating everything I used to luv (chicken, turkey, fruits and veggies). Gasp, what would my fellow yogis say? I am already a bad yogi because I eat white meat! Still lovin the sweets though.. that will never change. I had not gained any weight during first trimester so I guess I am doing ok.
I have reg doc appt today... I will let you know! Unfortunately, DH had the dates wrong in his calendar and was unable to switch things around to come.. so I will be going alone on this one... good news is that my mom works in the hospital right beside the office, so if necessary I can run to her.. but am sure that will not be needed! Perky Steph remember!
Singin in the rain,
Steph
It is very rainy, rainy, rainy and not supposed to leave anytime soon.. let the flooding begin! The train from Philly to Washington was shut down... apparently the entire east coast is a mess.. Too bad our roads weren't flooded.. perfect rainy day to stay at home on couch and nap/tv/read/nap.
Loolers--- appt sounds fantabu-lo-so luv bunny. My clinic always goes for blast. I was always surprised that your clinics don't usually do that. Your plan of attack is very Syndey inspired! ... she did end up on the beach in a sunset with hottie Vaughn and 2 kiddo's... ah perfect tv life. As for exams... luck wit dat! although the oozing knowledge tends to tell me no luck is needed. Oh how fun it will be for you when they are over.. all that extra brain activity!
Littles- I thought we outlawed the negative side of the brain function? Only annoyingly chipper chearleader positivity and good tidings! I will send your spanky pants immediately... demetrio would luv a show, raarh! Your next cycle will be the big one.. and aren't big ones always a good thang? Sorry that you had to stay behind from DH... only thing to do is luv the girl time and all things girly... manny/peddys, smut books and soaps.. do you have soaps over there? I couldn't find the books that Lola was talkin of either.. they must only be accessed by secret agent spygirls?
Jens "let the money flow"- let the bidding begin! Dream house is on its way! At the moment I would just like a clean house.. I have not been home long enough to clean mine.. such is summertime weekends... cookouts, picnics, etc. You will not be left behind.. keep hasselin. that is the one thing we do have in our control!
Walshy- Sorry you have had a crapper week... hope the sicky is gone.. the magi bubble is on standby if you can pull it from Lola's vise like grip! congrats on weight loss! What is in those shakes.. hot body in a bottle?
Camilla- doing house things.. can you fly over and do mine? As for the eating.. I am craving everything I hated (red meat, hotdogs, fried foods) and hating everything I used to luv (chicken, turkey, fruits and veggies). Gasp, what would my fellow yogis say? I am already a bad yogi because I eat white meat! Still lovin the sweets though.. that will never change. I had not gained any weight during first trimester so I guess I am doing ok.
I have reg doc appt today... I will let you know! Unfortunately, DH had the dates wrong in his calendar and was unable to switch things around to come.. so I will be going alone on this one... good news is that my mom works in the hospital right beside the office, so if necessary I can run to her.. but am sure that will not be needed! Perky Steph remember!
Singin in the rain,
Steph
My dearest friends....sorry in advance...big VENT approaching...
I feel so alone...
I couldn't get ahold of DH or dear Mother this afternoon for comfort.... I really need a shoulder to cry on and it's sad, but I have no one here for that.
I heard from a "friend" here in Dubai that she was pregnant. The funny story...she found out about me via this website and contacted me via e-mail about 3 months ago. We have chatted from time to time, but have never met.... she sounds really nice. She's younger than me.... and she was also trying to conceive and had done treatments (but only clomid)....anyway, I went online today and when I contacted her, I already had a funny feeling that she was going to give me her news.... naturally, you can imagine what she said...
I feel like everybody is getting pregnant except me and it breaks my heart.... I thought it would get easier hearing about other people's pregnancies but it doesn't. On the contrary, it gets worse... I am happy for her, but just devasted. I can't stop crying....
When the heck is it going to be my turn? What have I done to deserve this? Why me?????Am I not worthy enough? Would I be such a terrible mum that I am not "allowed" to have children? When am I going to stop feeling like this?
PLEASE let there be someone out there.... I am losing it... I know I should be in a positive state of mind because I am starting treatment soon.
I just have taken so many blows that I am not even sure I believe it will happen to me... what if I never get pregnant?
I just want to stop feeling this way....I want my life back.... ever since the miscarriage something in me has broken..... I feel that my infertility is defining me. Why is it that I feel like I have been kicked in the stomach when I learn about someone else's happy news.... I just want it to stop....
I want it all to stop...we have been trying for nearly 5 years.... and we seem to be getting nowhere... I am so tired...
I am sorry.... but writing is supposed to be therapeutic....
Thank you for listening...
Love,
Little R
I feel so alone...
I couldn't get ahold of DH or dear Mother this afternoon for comfort.... I really need a shoulder to cry on and it's sad, but I have no one here for that.
I heard from a "friend" here in Dubai that she was pregnant. The funny story...she found out about me via this website and contacted me via e-mail about 3 months ago. We have chatted from time to time, but have never met.... she sounds really nice. She's younger than me.... and she was also trying to conceive and had done treatments (but only clomid)....anyway, I went online today and when I contacted her, I already had a funny feeling that she was going to give me her news.... naturally, you can imagine what she said...
I feel like everybody is getting pregnant except me and it breaks my heart.... I thought it would get easier hearing about other people's pregnancies but it doesn't. On the contrary, it gets worse... I am happy for her, but just devasted. I can't stop crying....
When the heck is it going to be my turn? What have I done to deserve this? Why me?????Am I not worthy enough? Would I be such a terrible mum that I am not "allowed" to have children? When am I going to stop feeling like this?
PLEASE let there be someone out there.... I am losing it... I know I should be in a positive state of mind because I am starting treatment soon.
I just have taken so many blows that I am not even sure I believe it will happen to me... what if I never get pregnant?
I just want to stop feeling this way....I want my life back.... ever since the miscarriage something in me has broken..... I feel that my infertility is defining me. Why is it that I feel like I have been kicked in the stomach when I learn about someone else's happy news.... I just want it to stop....
I want it all to stop...we have been trying for nearly 5 years.... and we seem to be getting nowhere... I am so tired...
I am sorry.... but writing is supposed to be therapeutic....
Thank you for listening...
Love,
Little R
Me: 33--DH: 35, TTC: 6 yrs
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
Little R!!
I have been where you are - believe me. There is nothing i can say to make you feel better except that you won't feel like this tomorrow.
Sometimes the thought of what may never be and the total unfairness of what we go through every day (and it is EVERY DAY) is overwhelming. Its like looking into a huge black well. There are no absolutes that can make the waiting and pain worth it, if only someone could say, keep trying IT WILL HAPPEN.
Sometimes its like there's a stone in your chest, the empty weight of longing for something, a yearning you can't fix.
Thing is, you do deserve a baby. You would be a wonderful mother. You deserve to be here, moaning about how fat you are and morning sickness. You have done nothing wrong.
If you want my opinion, you need a break from all this. The m/c hit you so hard sweetheart and your life in Dubai must be so hard too, with dh being away so much and you away from friends and family and the endless heat. And you know, you are young enough to take a break. You're not old like me n Jen!
But you do have a choice. Its not the best of choices but you do have it.
Increasingly i think about what if it never happens. I will keep going until my heart can't stand it but on the way I'm going to start making provisions for if it doesn't happen. There is more to a life than this, I refuse to let this ruin mine. I am more than a mother. The ladies on the other threads - moving on - they do it..
Keep venting! Thats what we're here for!
You will feel better tomorrow but in the meantime, here are some enormous e-hugs. I will also send Demetrio tout suite!
Love Lola
xxxxxxx
PS Come on CH!!!
I have been where you are - believe me. There is nothing i can say to make you feel better except that you won't feel like this tomorrow.
Sometimes the thought of what may never be and the total unfairness of what we go through every day (and it is EVERY DAY) is overwhelming. Its like looking into a huge black well. There are no absolutes that can make the waiting and pain worth it, if only someone could say, keep trying IT WILL HAPPEN.
Sometimes its like there's a stone in your chest, the empty weight of longing for something, a yearning you can't fix.
Thing is, you do deserve a baby. You would be a wonderful mother. You deserve to be here, moaning about how fat you are and morning sickness. You have done nothing wrong.
If you want my opinion, you need a break from all this. The m/c hit you so hard sweetheart and your life in Dubai must be so hard too, with dh being away so much and you away from friends and family and the endless heat. And you know, you are young enough to take a break. You're not old like me n Jen!
But you do have a choice. Its not the best of choices but you do have it.
Increasingly i think about what if it never happens. I will keep going until my heart can't stand it but on the way I'm going to start making provisions for if it doesn't happen. There is more to a life than this, I refuse to let this ruin mine. I am more than a mother. The ladies on the other threads - moving on - they do it..
Keep venting! Thats what we're here for!
You will feel better tomorrow but in the meantime, here are some enormous e-hugs. I will also send Demetrio tout suite!
Love Lola
xxxxxxx
PS Come on CH!!!
me 39 dh 41
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
Hey
Just checking in on Little R. Are you ok? feeling any better? Please check in - I'm worried about you.
Hola to the ladies.
Will post later before I make the mecca trip to Sheffield for Firing Squad.
Lola
xxxxx
PS Steph, how does Sydney get Isabelle? Is she Vaughns? I never saw her pregnant.
Just checking in on Little R. Are you ok? feeling any better? Please check in - I'm worried about you.
Hola to the ladies.
Will post later before I make the mecca trip to Sheffield for Firing Squad.
Lola
xxxxx
PS Steph, how does Sydney get Isabelle? Is she Vaughns? I never saw her pregnant.
me 39 dh 41
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
-
Inhale, Exhale
- Regular
- Posts: 388
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:13 pm
- Location: PA, USA
To My Littles...
My heart is absolutely breaking for you.. that pain is so raw, so real and so out of our controls. And yes, hearing of peoples pregnancies is like being sucker punched. It is not that you are not happy for them, it is that you are sad for yourself. I had such a hard time dealing with my friend who got pregnant with her 2nd because.. oops, was reading a smut novel and decided to go for the moment.. I didn't even want to speak to her because it killed me.. because she wasn't exactly ecstatic and if it were me I would be jumping off the walls..
As Lola said, it is the WHAT IF's that are the killers.. it would be easier if the big man sent down a lightning bolt and said, if you deal with this for 2 more months you will get your baby and it will be worth it.. but we don't when it will happen... BUT, remember that it IS worth it to push through. It is so incredibly worth it... YOU DESERVE THIS. IT IS NOT A PUNISHMENT. IT IS A TRIAL. we will all get THROUGH... we are getting through... we are so strong!
However, 5 years is a long time to pursue this month after month after month. Maybe as Lola said you need a break. It seems that your heart is breaking from everything going on... Would it help to focus on something else for awhile? I know that is way easier said then done. PLease check in.. sending my hugs... and I am a great hugger!! Ask Demmy.
Lola- good luck on exams sweets! will be thinkin of you... And remember, nobody has ever done orals better than you! Yep, Isabelle is Vaughns, she announced to him that she was preggers right before he was "killed". She had the baby while he was in hiding..
Thinkin of my girls,
Steph
My heart is absolutely breaking for you.. that pain is so raw, so real and so out of our controls. And yes, hearing of peoples pregnancies is like being sucker punched. It is not that you are not happy for them, it is that you are sad for yourself. I had such a hard time dealing with my friend who got pregnant with her 2nd because.. oops, was reading a smut novel and decided to go for the moment.. I didn't even want to speak to her because it killed me.. because she wasn't exactly ecstatic and if it were me I would be jumping off the walls..
As Lola said, it is the WHAT IF's that are the killers.. it would be easier if the big man sent down a lightning bolt and said, if you deal with this for 2 more months you will get your baby and it will be worth it.. but we don't when it will happen... BUT, remember that it IS worth it to push through. It is so incredibly worth it... YOU DESERVE THIS. IT IS NOT A PUNISHMENT. IT IS A TRIAL. we will all get THROUGH... we are getting through... we are so strong!
However, 5 years is a long time to pursue this month after month after month. Maybe as Lola said you need a break. It seems that your heart is breaking from everything going on... Would it help to focus on something else for awhile? I know that is way easier said then done. PLease check in.. sending my hugs... and I am a great hugger!! Ask Demmy.
Lola- good luck on exams sweets! will be thinkin of you... And remember, nobody has ever done orals better than you!
Yep, Isabelle is Vaughns, she announced to him that she was preggers right before he was "killed". She had the baby while he was in hiding..Thinkin of my girls,
Steph
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lola for being there last night. I truly appreciate it
I read your message before going to bed.
It was not a good day; this was confirmed when CH didn't win their match
Thank you for writing so honestly...reading your words I felt much less alone. I couldn't get ahold of DH until this morning and didn't really mention my melt-down. He has enough to contend with at the moment. I blubbered to my father yesterday (this has never happened before) and it was good to hear his familiar voice. It was soothing...made the loneliness go away.
As you said, tomorrow is another day and so today I feel less emotional about it all, but as you know our pain lies deep....and resurfaces from time to time.
I am also thinking about you today, hoping that you are safely travelling on your journey towards success ... Vive jeudi, right?
I spent most of the day out, trying to keep busy, hence I haven't logged on until now. Sorry, I didn't want to worry you.
I went by the clinic and collected my meds so the ball is rolling and I am wondering whether I am particularly emotional because my AF is soon due??? Wouldn't be the first time
Anyway, I will do the FET and then see what I feel like doing.
I know that my own advice would be to take a break because emotionally I am beginning to lose it. I know that the move here didn't help me in terms of support, without real friends and family...but I guess, I can't take a break from the treatments until I have come to the point where I want to cut my losses. In my mind, I can't simply forget that I want a baby so even if I went on a break, well I am not sure it would be that beneficial because I cannot suppress my want of a child. Do you see what I mean? I think if I take a break, it would not be a break but a decision not to pursue this path anymore.... sorry if I am not making any sense....
Anyway, thank you for being there....you're super, Lola.
Heaps of luck with your exams.... you have my full support from here in the desert
Steph, my Octobuddy... thank you, thank you for your encouraging kind words....you know what this is like.
Yeah, I wish I was told it WILL happen but you just have to jump through all of these hoops. It's the uncertainty which is gradually becoming lack of faith which gets me down.
Yes, we all are strong (even if I felt like a complete wimp yesterday)...we are the survivors of infertility...I have to take it one day at a time...
How are you feeling? Have you sorted your demented superior (only on paper!) out? Have you sent HR to give him a butt-whipping?
You take care...
To all my other Octobuddies...much love...
Little R
I read your message before going to bed.
It was not a good day; this was confirmed when CH didn't win their match
Thank you for writing so honestly...reading your words I felt much less alone. I couldn't get ahold of DH until this morning and didn't really mention my melt-down. He has enough to contend with at the moment. I blubbered to my father yesterday (this has never happened before) and it was good to hear his familiar voice. It was soothing...made the loneliness go away.
As you said, tomorrow is another day and so today I feel less emotional about it all, but as you know our pain lies deep....and resurfaces from time to time.
I am also thinking about you today, hoping that you are safely travelling on your journey towards success
... Vive jeudi, right? I spent most of the day out, trying to keep busy, hence I haven't logged on until now. Sorry, I didn't want to worry you.
I went by the clinic and collected my meds so the ball is rolling and I am wondering whether I am particularly emotional because my AF is soon due??? Wouldn't be the first time
Anyway, I will do the FET and then see what I feel like doing.
I know that my own advice would be to take a break because emotionally I am beginning to lose it. I know that the move here didn't help me in terms of support, without real friends and family...but I guess, I can't take a break from the treatments until I have come to the point where I want to cut my losses. In my mind, I can't simply forget that I want a baby so even if I went on a break, well I am not sure it would be that beneficial because I cannot suppress my want of a child. Do you see what I mean? I think if I take a break, it would not be a break but a decision not to pursue this path anymore.... sorry if I am not making any sense....
Anyway, thank you for being there....you're super, Lola.
Heaps of luck with your exams.... you have my full support from here in the desert
Steph, my Octobuddy... thank you, thank you for your encouraging kind words....you know what this is like.
Yeah, I wish I was told it WILL happen but you just have to jump through all of these hoops. It's the uncertainty which is gradually becoming lack of faith which gets me down.
Yes, we all are strong (even if I felt like a complete wimp yesterday)...we are the survivors of infertility...I have to take it one day at a time...
How are you feeling? Have you sorted your demented superior (only on paper!) out? Have you sent HR to give him a butt-whipping?
You take care...
To all my other Octobuddies...much love...
Little R
Me: 33--DH: 35, TTC: 6 yrs
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
5 IUIs w drugs: 03-04: BFN
1-2 IVF: BFP Oct05 (lost @ 5wks), BFN May06
1-3 FET: BFN Aug06, Jan07, Mar07
3 IVF: BFP Nov07
Prynhawn Da merched
Just a quick one - about to catch train up north for final painful hurdle. If only they could administer a truth drug so all i know could just spill out. I have the worst memory. E.Vah.
Littles glad today is a little brighter
Steph - what do you mean demmy would know about how good a hugger you are??? When I get back - a word missie.
Hola Jen (and her huge pile o money ), Camilla and La Walsh (the socceroos were robbed!)
I'm away now until Thursday night...... FFFRRRREEEEEDOM!!!!
Take it easy and come on! One for the road! Altogether! Shes a Laydeh!!!! Woah woah woah, she's a laydeh!!!!
Besos, lola
xxx
Just a quick one - about to catch train up north for final painful hurdle. If only they could administer a truth drug so all i know could just spill out. I have the worst memory. E.Vah.
Littles glad today is a little brighter
Steph - what do you mean demmy would know about how good a hugger you are??? When I get back - a word missie.
Hola Jen (and her huge pile o money
), Camilla and La Walsh (the socceroos were robbed!)I'm away now until Thursday night...... FFFRRRREEEEEDOM!!!!
Take it easy and come on! One for the road! Altogether! Shes a Laydeh!!!! Woah woah woah, she's a laydeh!!!!
Besos, lola
xxx
me 39 dh 41
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]
2 ivf, 3 fets - 2 bfn, 3 bfp (1 ectopic, 2 m/c @ 9wks and 12 wks)
3rd fresh ivf - bfp, fingers crossed
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;19/st/20090902/dt/4/k/241b/preg.png[/img]