well things are not looking good for me. I've now had AF for 2 days solid. I thought it might go away or something, but it is AF!!!!! It is slightly different to usual and not nearly as heavy, but that is probably all the drugs still in my system. But I'm kidding myself really. I'll do another pee stick in the morning (which is 14 days post ER) so I'll know for sure that it's all over. I'm trying not to be devastated. Everything felt so right this time.
I'm going to have to sell my little rental property to raise the funds as I can't spend another year working 60 plus hours a week. I'm also thinking of moving to CARE in Manchester or Bolton. I know it will be really badly expensive, but I'm not really happy with the Hewitt Centre any more. I told them I needed to go 12 days and they poo hoo-ed it. And this progesterone is obviously not doing it's job. I told them that too!
Anyway, Sue. I don't go to Huyton very often (I am a north end girl) but next time I do, the McDonalds has had it!!!!!
Souris, hope you're enjoying the weather. You'll be home soon!!!
Anyone heard from Anna? I really hope she gets that BFP.
Oh Lynne - Iwas really hoping as well that af would just "disappear". I'm so sorry.
Moving clinics sounds like a very positive mood - I think if you're not completely happy with where you are, then you would always question "what if they did it this way - would I get a different result?" which I know would eat away at me. Regarding the bleeding - is it worth looking at Killer cells (?!). I think this is the one that is linked with bleeding before test date, although there are some other threads that discuss it with far more knowledge than I have. I presume it's quite expensive (what isn't?) but may be another avenue to look at? Just a thought.
Sending you hugs from the Midlands.
Cla
xx
Me: 35 DP : 38
1st time IVF - Aug/Sept 05 -ve
FET - Jan 06 - BFP!!!
[img]http://tac.families.com/ezb/842130.png[/img]
I'll look into that. But even when I was starting out and tracking my Basal Body Temp, (seems like a lifetime ago- it's about 7 years) I always came on 9/10 days post ovulation. I went longer to ovulate though- usually day 14 or thereabouts. The clinic know this information- well I told them anyway. They put us all in the same little box and hope it works out. But not everyone has a perfect, text book cycle.
I have to say though, nothing in my life has been easy. And it still isn't, so I shouldn't have expected an easy ride from IVF. I thought having this treatment was the worst it could get, so I deserved some luck. But that's just not the way things work for me. But it's okay. I'm a fighter. It does sadden me as my career is suffering and I know that won't matter one jot when I have my baby. But if it never works I'll be left with nothing but a huge emotional hole and the best of my performance years will be over. I'm already seeing the effects of putting my energy into conceiving and the longer it takes, the worse it's going to get. A singer can't really start out again at 40.
Ah well. I'm trying not to be too sad. I think we'll have a rough ride this summer though. DH and I are going to be alone in a foreign land with very little to do except eat and drink, for 7 weeks. I think ther'll be fire works.
One good thing that has come ot this is that DH is TRULY disappointed. For the first time, he wanted this baby as much as me and that's never happened before. So at least I know he does want it- I've always felt I was forcing it on him until now.
I don't think I'll try again until the New Year. I have NO money left and I want to choose a clinic carefully. And I think my body has had enough of injections for a while. I'm also determined to lose some weight and get fit. If I can sell the house, then I can give up 10 hours work which means I can join a gym or something.
DSS is coming to stay tomorrow 'til Sunday and we have a German friend visiting on Sunday so I'll have to be strong for the weekend.
The computer is in the spare bedroom, so I'll probably not be around much over the weekend.
Sorry to rant.
Oh no Lynne... I am so sorry. I dont know what to say. You know that I understand your pain, but it doesnt make easier for you. Changing clinic souds like a good idea, doctors sometimes think they know it all, and you really need someone who listen to you when you go through IVF.
New year sounds good too, give you time for your heart and body to heal.
Please take care of yourself
We are here for you if you need us
Love
xxx
souris
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
I am so sorry to hear both of your bad news. I was certain that at least one of us would have a BFP but life isn't like that is it??? What do you ladies have planned next? Words can't express how dissapointing a time like this is, so all i can say is, I'm so sorry.
DH and I are going to an adoption eveing on Tuesday, and tomorrow I am going to visit a friend of a friend, who adopted two children last year, for a chat. I am actually feeling quite positive and am SO relieved to have finished with the IVF. Some people wonder when the right time is to stop, and I think you JUST KNOW deep inside that your body can't cope anymore.
Sophie xxxxx
Pituitary Tumour, PCOS
'01 - DD born
'02 - miscarriage
clomid X6 negative
IVF '05 - OHSS 13 embies frozen
FET, Feb06 - negative
FET, April06 - cancelled 2 days before ET
FET, ET: June06 - fingers crossed
Lynne - so sorry to read your news, i am absolutely gutted for both you and Anna, was really hopeful for you both this time. Like you say a change of clinic could well do the trick, you are a strong women and i can't believe you have had to go through this 6 times.
It must be so hard putting your career on the back burner, but if you did not give the ivf your all, you would be left in years to come, wondering what if. I would of chose the same path as you, its always hard isn't it when we have to miss out on other things we want. Sending you lots of love and i will definately we on these boards watching out for your next cycle.
Hope you manage to have a nice time with DSS and your friend. xxx
Anna - What can i say, totally gutted for you, thinking of you and sending you big fuzzy hugs.
Sophie, how exciting ! Adoption is such a wonderful thing! Long journey, but hey! after IVF, we are ready for everything!
Lynne , Anna, just guted for you... HUgs to you both
xxx
souris
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
Hi all,
Thanks for your good wishes. I've started looking into other clinics. DH wants to go to Belgium or Holland as he reckons he has read the success rates are really good, but I have a feeling it will be too expensive.
Am feeling a bit lost, but I know it will pass. I'm a bit scared though as we have no visitors this summer and 7 weeks on our own is either going to make or break our marriage. His children are all really skint because of going to a friend's wedding in America (or in DSS's case being on a course in England for 5 months when he lives in Germany and leaving his little 9 month old baby, poor thing). My friends are all set in their ways and only go to France in a big gang and my parents won't come out because my Dad won't stay in the same room as DH for longer than 5 minutes. So I'm feeling very lonely as well and completely unloved. It will pass.
So today's tasks are to clean spare bedroom as DSS is staying, clean kitchen because it is minging, do as many loads of washing as possible and paint the bathroom. Anything but go to the shops. I came back with 2 bikinis (I only ever wear swim suits) and 5 sun tops (a size smaller than I should have got as I'm determined to lose weight for next round). So I'm not allowing myself over the front door today because the evil retail therapy will bight again.
Anna- I'm so sorry. I was holding out so much hope. I thought that if the world was a just place then if I wasn't pregnant, you would be. Just goes to show the world is, in actual fact a sh***er.
Would you recommend your clinic? DH wants to go abraod for treatment (though I don't know how it would work with his TESE frozen sperm). Was it amazingly expensive? If you want to rant, do PM me. I know a bit of what you're feeling.
You are loved! By us and I am sure many other people! I am sure that this bad time for you will end soon.
I am not sure, but I dont think that IVF abroad is more expansive than in the Uk, well obviously you have to travel and stay somewhere...
For the frozen sperm, it is possible to transport it. By road is the best as you dont have all the aggrevations from the transport laws and regulation that you have if you do it by air. But I did bring back my DH sperm in a plane. That was a 7 hours flight, 24 hours trip. Obviously, you cannot fly with liquid nitrogen. So my French clinic lend me a special container that was filled with liquid nitrogen for 48h, then emptied before the transport. I had to have a letter from the French health department saying that the sperm was from my husband and that it was disease free etc...
But if your clinic is not far, I think Fedex or Dhl can transport it. anyway, all that to say that it is possible.
Ok ladies , hope you are all doing well.
For me, 10 days and I wil be in France !! YIPEEE
xxx
souris
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
Anna sweetie, how are you? Do you have any plans for the future, are you gonna try another cycle??
Lynne, have you contacted some clinics?
Sophie, please let us know how things are going for you!
And the yummy mummies? How are the littles babies doing??
Hope everyone is well
xxx
souris
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
What has happenebd to the sun? Don't you hate it when it's overcast but still sticky as hell?
Well I did a pee test yesterday which was my day 14. No surprises!!!! I'm still bleeding (TMI- sorry) that make 8 days solid and think I have a touch of anaemia as I feel really off colour. I have another stinky cold as well.
I contacted the clinic to tell them my results and asked for a copy of my notes. The secretary who deals with it is on holiday and it seems nobody else has the mental capacity to photocopy them, so I'll have to wait until September when we get back. This is annoying as I have an appointment with a clinic in Belgium on 17th July and they need to see my notes. Looks like I'll have to cancel.
Looking into other clinics is a revelation and I realise what a dope I've been to stay where I was. I have always told the clinic that I take longer to grow eggs than most people. I know this from the IUI as I was always ages before ovulation. The maximum they allow you to go is 12 days. It seems in many other clinics it is 14. They start you stimming and don't see you again until day 10. In most other clinics you're seen from day 8 at the latest and then you're back in each day, or every 2 days max. Also they have no facility for assisted hatching, blastocyst transfer or pre- genetic screening and as I am almost knocking on 40's door I'm definitely going to have the works next time.
I feel a bit stupid for trusting the doctors. They said things like 'fragmentation doesn't matter' and 'there's no evidence that blastocyst transfer works' etc and I drank it in, because it was what I wanted to believe.
Ooh sorry, that was a rant.
Anyway, it looks like Care in Manchester, Janemed in Istanbul or IM in Barcelona. Probably try Manchester first even though it will set us back twice what we have already paid. I really fancy Istanbul, but there is the geographical aspect to take into account and also you need to stay 17 days. DH works in a school and I doubt very much my AF will oblige and be ready for treatment over Christmas.
I'm spending some time today looking into selling my little house and renting out our summer house. Got to raise these funds somehow.
We're going to book our ferries tonight. I'll be so sad at first to be in Italy not pregnant, but I'll get over it. I really really wish DSS and family and DSD and family were coming. Under normal circumstances I would pay their flights, but damned little non- sticky embryos have cleaned me out.
Lynne - I ache reading your posts - really wish I could wave a magic wand and come up with all the answers. don't beat yourself up about listening to the doctors. They are the ones that went to med school after all. The thing is, is that opinions and protocols seem to change so much depending on where you are that it's hard to know who's right and who's not. Frankly I don't know that there is any v. definite way.
re: clinics overseas - there are a number of women on the over 40s thread who've been abroad (especially IM in Barcelona). if you want some advise from people who've been may be worth just posting over there and asking someone to PM you the details? Oh and re: your notes. I would insist on them having someone email or fax them over to Belgium instead of missing that app. They are yours by right and legally no-one can "stall" you from getting them. Best of luck!
Anna - how you doing?
Sue - how did the scan go? Is everything ok?
Hi Souris - not long to go now before you're in France! Fab result in the footie by the way!
Sophie - great to hear from you! Let us know how you get on with the adoption application. You're sounding in a fab positive spirit!
I'm fine thanks! Have my 3d/4d scan on 20th July which I'm really looking forward to! Been suffering a bit with this weather, especially at night but I promise I'm not moaning (ok, I may have had a tiny whinge about 1am this morning when I just couldn't get comfy!!). Getting quite big now (well, for me anyway!) and have about 2 outfits to fit - must do more shopping!
Speak soon!
Cla
xx
Me: 35 DP : 38
1st time IVF - Aug/Sept 05 -ve
FET - Jan 06 - BFP!!!
[img]http://tac.families.com/ezb/842130.png[/img]
Lynne, I agree with Cla, you should insist to get your notes. At my clinic, they are the same, if you ask something a wee bit different or if you dont ask the right person, they seem lost and they are not able to answer you...
Also, it is normal to listen and trust your doctors, as Cla said, THEY are the doctors and they are suppose to know more than us! I really have no faith in my doc, which is really bothering me, but for now i cannot change clinic.
Istanbul sounds good. My first IVF doc was turkish and I found him great. They have a good reputation and facilities are usually superb! I was really impress with the look and the medical equipment they have. It was much more new than the clinic i am now. I think the difference is because the first clinic was private, and in France it is public (but free, so I cannot complain)
I hope you will have a relaxing time in Italy, and come back full of PMA !!
Love.xxx
Cla, how excited you must be! Those scans are just fabs! I will definitely go for it when I will be pregnant!
Hope the summer wont be too hard for you.
Thanks, we did well against Brasil! I dont think we will the finale though... just have to wait and see!
Ok, wishing you loads of shopping!
xxx
Sue, how did the scan went? Do you know the sex now??
Anna, how are you sweetie?
We are not many posting on this thread anymore, so if you guys want to move on , maybe we should... From next week, I wont be around as much, as I dont have many internet hours in france , and I will be very busy. Of course I will check on you girls! And I will also tell you how my appointment went, and when I will cycle again!
Lots of love to all
souris
xxx
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
Anna - Hoping dh is pampering you, How are you doing? big hugs
Lynne - could you not ring PALS at the womens and see if they can help speed things along for you, if you explain you have a consultant appointment else where, just a thought. Also i thought hospitals have to respond to your request for copies of your notes within a set time scale (sorry dont know how long though). After my ep i got my notes within 1 or 2 weeks of requesting them, and paid cash on collection to make it quicker. good luck
Souris, cla - The scan was fine, thanks for asking although she couldnt see everything she needed eg. fine detail, like chambers of the heart etc. but what she did see said there is nothing to worry about. Got to go back in 3 weeks, so hopefully will see a lot more then and hopefully find out the sex. Cla your 3d/4d scan will be fab.
Souris - enjoy your time in france and i will be looking forward to hearing how your treatment progresses.