AM I BEING HARD FACED B..CH??

SBROWN · Post by **SBROWN** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 8:32 pm

Read an article in our local paper ,hope I do not offend anyone but I really cannot understand some pepole. IVF is getting a lot of publicity at the mo & I dont like to Judge but this article made me cross(cant explain why, it just did) Its about a 56 year old gran advertising for an egg doner to fulfill her dream of having a 4th child! She was sterilised at 24 & has chldren in their 30s as well as an IVF baby from recent years. You can read the article by visiting www.thisissouthampton.co.uk(will only be there today-is a web page of daily paper) I was wondering what you guys think... Am I being a hard faced ***** getting angry....when I see what people on this site are going through I just think she should be happy with the 3 she has......(i would have ben chuffed with the 1st 2 even) Oh well, sorry to waffle as not really relevant but just wanted to voice my opinion to you guys who hopefully can see where I am coming from.... Sarah xxxx

Dawn Blake · Post by **Dawn Blake** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 6:12 am

I completely agree with you, I find stories like that quite sick to be honest - 56?! What quality of life does she expect to offer them in their late teens, she's certainly not going to be the most active of Mum's then is she? The fact that she has already had 3 healthy children makes it even more wrong, some people don't know their own luck do they? So if you are a hard faced b**ch, then so am I! Apologies if I have offended anyone, but somehow I don't think I would have. D x

esjay · Post by **esjay** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 9:30 pm

No you are not a hard faced b....h however i can't help feeling for anyone who feels the need for a child, it is easy to feel angry though! being on my now 4th atempt(without children!)

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 8:55 am

It's people like this that give IVF a bad name and we start going down the designer route and they all crawl out the mad tree and then everyone jumps on the bandwagon slagging off IVF etc. Make that the 4th hard face b***h as I am with you on this - for god's sake can't she just be grateful. PS worked 4th time for me! Love Tracey xxx

rachel r · Post by **rachel r** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 5:30 pm

Hi Just call me a hard faced b**tch too!!! I was so shocked at seeing this on the television this morning. Like Tracey says, it gives IVF a bad name. For all of us, its an only hope, whereas for this 56 year old, she's had a family. I think its morally wrong. For all of us who have gone through this, its in our child-bearing years, its a natural time for us to have children, and we're just being assisted to achieve a pregnancy, we're not meddling with nature. This woman is obviously under the impression that if you fancy a baby, bob's your uncle! She'll get a big shock. Ultimately, the priority is surely that of the child. How will this woman cope with a toddler when she's approaching 60 and a teenager when she's in her early 70's. The child is bound to miss out - maybe not on love and material things but in having active parents who can participate in the child's life. My mum and dad are only in their early/mid 50's and although they can't wait to be grandparents, I know damn well that they could never cope on a full time basis with a child. Let's just hope she gets the thumbs down, maybe then she'll be able to enjoy the family she already has. From "the b**ch"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (otherwise known as Rachel!)

carolss · Post by **carolss** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 9:38 pm

Having recieved donated eggs I have every sympathy for anyone who needs them. HOWEVER I don't have a great deal for this woman. There is a bl**by good reason she can't have babies. SHE IS TOO OLD. She knows it, her husband knows it, the clinics she has been to know it and her body is telling her it. That is why she has had to go to Italy for her treatment, that is why she has been willing to pay someone to donate. What she wants to do is not possible in this country for a good reason. HER BODY IS TOO OLD. She is not ill, she hasn't a desease, she doesn't have a fertility problem, her body is just TOO OLD. When will she realise she is TOO OLD. When will she realise that someone about to reach retirement age is TOO OLD to have babies, when will she realise that pensioners were not designed to have babies. No matter how good she looks, no matter how young she feels, no matter how much energy she has, she is TOO OLD to have babies. And I thought that age bought you wisedom... obviously not in this case. We don't always get what we want, that's life I'm afraid. I hope she doesn't. Not because I don't think she doesn't deserve it but because her BODY is TOO OLD and how will she cope if her 69 year old husband starts to succume to any of the delibertating age related illnesses. An invilid and a baby when you are a pensioner..... not my idea of a deacent retiement.

carolss · Post by **carolss** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 9:47 pm

It would appear from the local papers that these pensioners may have found a donor. The donor did of course get her picture in the paper. Was it that and the money that motivated her I wonder? I just hope that if she isn't a match that she and the other women that came forward to try to help these pensioners to have a baby will go to their nearest fertility clinic and offer to donate their eggs for free...We can but hope they are decent enough women to do that at least.

frances · Post by **frances** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 9:38 am

Hi Although I agree that this woman is far too old I find the comments that someone who has a child or children should be grateful very insulting. I have children from my first marriage but needed IVF when I remarried and was lucky to get our beautiful daughter from this. We are extremely grateful that the treatment worked but that does not mean we should not want another child together. We desperately want another child who would be loved and adored by the whole family. We have just started the 7th attempt. We had our little girl after the 3rd.I understand the desperation you all feel but there are a wide variety of people needing ivf and everyone’s circumstances are different. I am 39 not too old but with a desperate wish for another child. Sorry if I have offended anyone but I feel we all have a right to our dreams

SJ BROWN · Post by **SJ BROWN** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 10:28 am

Frances Sorry if I offended you, the point I was making was that at 56 this lady is not at an ideal age for bringing up a young family(the fact that no hospital in the UK will treat her is proof of that) & I could not understand why at HER AGE she was not HAPPY(did not say grateful) with the family she has. she should be looking forward to her grandchildren.. I can fully understand someone in your position wanting a child with your new husband, there are a lot of women who meet 2nd partners and for various reasons need IVF to conceive. I am not against this and there probably is not a private clinic in the UK that would not treat people in this position. Fingers crossed I will be in this position 1 day if our current cycle works. Good luck with your treatment. Lets hope its lucky 7 for you Sarah

frances · Post by **frances** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 11:10 am

hi sarah sorry i sounded off like that and thanks for your support for this attempt This round of treatment will be the last for us as we have decided that if they cant overcome the problem i have with my endometrium then we have at least given it our best try.So sorry again for getting stroppy but am feeling stressed ( also our little girl started school full time yesterday so stressing about that too!) Frances

SJ BROWN · Post by **SJ BROWN** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:13 pm

Frances, dont worry, its what this site is for. IVF is so stressful & thats why this site is so good for sounding off. Better to sound off on herethan at loved ones at home. Thats what I do any how Sarah xx p.s I bet your daughter is having a whale of a time at school!

Advertisements