April/May Buddies??

[LauraLou]

I'm sorry I haven't written anything lately. I've been working the last few nights. I'm not sure when my blood test results will be in. I am going to the dr's tomorrow to do another mock transfer, this time with a full bladder. How fun for me! I will definitely ask about the blood work then.

I'm off to a baby shower this afternoon. Two of my best friends are pregnant, so I've got a baby shower today and another in a few weeks. I am actually okay about going. She had an ectopic last year, so I am really happy for her.

I am actually starting to feel better, not so depressed. Carolyn is right, I have so much to be grateful for. I have a great marriage to a wonderful man, a beautiful house and a job where I get to help women during a difficult time in their lives.

Best wishes!

[jackoa21]

Hello ladies..
Sorry for the short post today but with being off work the last few days I am now playing catch up...

Laura I am glad you are feeling better.. This is such a roller coaster of emotions..

Carolyn you are getting so close to being off work.. I can only imagine you will need to find lots of things to keep you busy.. You are always so busy now

Em and Dania and Veronika I hope you ladies are well..

I am having a rough day.. I am so close with my mom and to have her leave it just broke my heart.. As dumb as this sounds I feel like I had my loss all over again.. I also was on a PCOS board and a woman there did her first IVF right before me and got a positive.. She lost it early well she did another round ( Really soon after like within 2 months) well it did not work.. Now of course since I have PCOS I am thinking that my second round won't work and now not only do I miss my mom terribly (I have been sobbing all morning) but now I am depresed and negative.. Sorry for the downer I just feel like I am lost today..

love and hugs
Jackie

[CarolynB]

Jackie

Sorry that your Mom leaving as hit you so hard. But think how wonderful it is that you are so close to you Mom. Many people do not have such a great relationship.

Just cause it happened to the other lady does not mean this will happen to you. You are waiting as your dr wanted you to. You are doing acu. Each one of us is very different.

Take good care. Sending you huge hugs.
Love Carolyn xxx

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Laura

Hope that the transfer with ful bladder was not too awful. I had to do that and was so worried that I would wet myself on the table. Sorry tmi.

Let us know when you hear on the bloods.
Love Carolyn xxx

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Veronika - hope that revovery is going well

Em - have you recovered yet from your manic weekend

Dania - hope all going well

Nearly there at work. Some of the Directors sent me a massive bunch of flowers today for all the work that I have done over the years on the numbers. They are beautiful. Thought they might be from dh at first!!!! Especially as they include pick peonies which are my favorite flowers - I carried just them at our wedding last year. AAHHH

Anyway clocking off as past 9pm and tomorrow will be a very long day.

Thinking of you all.
Love Carolyn xxx

[jackoa21]

llo all...
Carolyn your flowers sound beautiful.. I use to work in a flower shop for years and whenver we would get peonies in I would pull them and make a special agrangement.
I keep checking your ticker as you are counting down and getting closer to the opp. I can't belive how quicky it went. You will need DH to spend loads of time just taking doting on you...

Oooh did I tell you all I got my first Zita book.. I love it and I really felt a lot of PMA afterwords.. I swear I felt like she wrote the book only for us.. She describes all of our emotions and it reading it makes me feel like I am just talking to a good friend...

I do miss my mom so but as Carolyn said I know how lucky I am to have the relationship with her that I do.. She is not only my friend but my mom.. She will be back in September so sonner than I know it...

Em and Dania and Laura I hope you all well...

I am off to accupuncture than home to rest as I took my mom to the airport at 5:00am so I will be sleeping soundly tonight

Love and hugs
Jackie

[jackoa21]

I just re-read my post and I must be really sleepy I wrote llo in the begining in stead of hello and than I wrote Em Dania and Laura I HOPE YOU ALL WELL.. Instead of I hope you are all well. Where is my grammar? I need rest

Love and hugs
Jackie

[jackoa21]

Ok I promise no more postings from me today because I am just not making sense..

Veronika I also wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing...

Ok that is it I am done for today

[LauraLou]

Jackie, I'm sorry you are having a hard time today. I love it when my mom comes to visit so I understand how sad it is when she leaves. Waiting to start our next cycle gives us too much time to worry and stress out!

The mock transfer went well. The doctor says he wants to me to have a full bladder when he does the real transfer in Sept. He said it was easier for him to get to the right spot.

I completely forgot to ask when the blood tests would come back. I'll have to call tomorrow and ask.

I have about five weeks before I start the lupron. They showed me today how to mix the follistim and the new drug he's adding, menopur. I am hopeful that I will have more eggs using both drugs. I would like to transfer 3 embryos this time but I don't know if the dr will allow it. Maybe if I beg!

I am off to work now but I hope everyone is doing well!

[Xrayem]

Hi girls,

Sorry I didn't get on last night, the site crashed half way through.

The weekend was good, but hectic. I got a little emotional at the christening, but I was glad I went. The Ball was ok, but felt a little old - they were all fresh out of uni! We were on the best table as DH was one of the most senior there.

Had terrible day yesterday - DH's job is threatened as one of his juniors stuffed up and sent the wrong version of a report to a client. DH wasn't even involved but as far as the partners are concerned, he is responsible for his staff and what they send out. I think its unfair and DH is terrified. If he loses his job, that will put an end to our tmt. All we can do is wait and see what the fall out is.

On another low, one of my friends has just announced she is pregnant (by accident). I haven't seen her since we lived together in the UK (she's now in canada) but we still all keep in contact. Up until 3 months ago her emails have all been full of tails of drunken nights out and parties, I didn't even realise that she was seeing anyone permantly. I have always been the sensible one - why does she get what I can't have?

Bummer.

Carolyn - I am so glad you are almost finished work. It sounds like you are well-loved there and will be missed. Enjoy your last week and all the recognition you recieve - you deserve it!

Jackie - I'm sorry your mother has gone home. Remember everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for the next an vice versa. I'm sure if you did a poll, there would be plenty of women out there with PCOS who had success on their 2nd go....and so will you! My friend's sister has PCOS and she is preg with twins after an IUI (not even IVF) and this is her second pregnancy (she has a daughter also IUI). So see, it WILL work for you.

Laura -I'm glad your mock transfer went well. I know what you mean by 3 embies, when I'm taking Clomid, I'm always tempted to take more to give myself more chance (i don't though, I'm a good girl!)

Veronika and Dania - what news? Hope all is well.

I'm going to go and cook DH his favourite meal and get a bottle of wine ready - (very naughty, I know) but he is so stressed...

Love to all,
Em

[jackoa21]

Laura
I am so glad your mock transfer went well... Was the full bladder thing really hard? My doc does not do that but I have heard a lot of docs do.. I was paranoid before my first ivf because I thought if they did that I would have a really hard time but my doc does not do it that way..
Yes you have to find out when you get those test back.. I am sure they will be fine but that will be another item you can check off your list. Knowing that those are done and ok will be great I am so excited for you that you are going to go again.. So is the drug mixing hard? I know my doc talked about no birthcontrol pills and another type of suppressor instead of lupron but that is all I know.. I guess I will know more late August..


Em
I am so sorry hunny that things have been rough with DH and his job.. I will keep you both in my prayers.. To be honest I think it is a load of Crud that he could get in trouble for something one of his employees sent out.. I know someone has to be responsible but what does the other guy get paid for.. He is an adult and he should have done it right in the first place...

I am sure reading about your friends BFP was very hard. I just dont get it how we all try so hard and people go out and live it up and aren't even trying and they get preggers. One of my really good friends just told me last week that she had a miscarrage (she was not trying and just started seeing someone) she told me that she is so happy because she did not even want a baby.. It took all my willpower to not hang up on her..

On the other hand EM (and all of us) we will have our dreams our road to them is just a little longer than some others.. When we are holding our little ones we will look back on these moments and charish the friendships we made here and we will also think what amazing gifts we have been given and we will be so thankful

I am full of emotions today I don't know what my deal is.. I am really hoping af comes.. My doc seemed to think that I may not even get af between now and my next IVF.. My acc guy is working on getting it because if it does not come than obvisouly the trying naturally thing wont happen.. I guess its up to AF if she wants to show but until than I know I am just waiting.. Time is ticking buy..

To all the other ladies Hello and lots and lots of love and hugs
Jackie

[Xrayem]

Jackie,

Thanks for your kind words. You are so sweet! I'm sorry that you are in limbo at the moment....isn't that the worst part of assisted reproduction?? All the waiting and uncertainty? Sending you a special AF vibe, to get you on your way again.

Hi everyone else. Still no more news. My friend who recommended my specialist (she was 8 weeks preg at the time I made my first appointment) is due for a caeser to deliver her twin daughters this friday. I can't believe it has been 9 months since I got on this ride!

Talk later,
Em

[jackoa21]

Hello all
Em yes the very worse part is the limbo.. I started thinking the other day that with us going in September (since we will get the BFP) our little one will arrive in June and I thought "that is sweet because she can share her birthday with my friends little girl" who will be 2 this coming June.. She started ttc about 3 months before me.. UGGGGGGGG I try not to get worked up but its just crazy. I am sure some of you have been on this rollercoaster longer than we have so I dont mean to complain.. I just cant belive its already been so long...

Ok enough complaining. How are all the other lovely ladies doing? I am a little sleepy today.. actually the way I feel I could go to sleep right here at my desk.. I guess that means I should get to work.. I hope you ladies have a great day..

Love and hugs
xoxoxo
Jackie

[LauraLou]

My dr's office said it would take 2-4 weeks to get my blood test results back. Can't imagine why it takes so long but at least I will have the results before I start my next tmt.

Sorry to write such a short message but I have workmen in the house installing some new super extra high speed internet connection. According to my husband it's faster than cable or DSL. I thought the current cable modem was just fine but DH loves his high tech toys!

[jackoa21]

Just a quick note.. Running running running but I wanted to stop in and say hello and to check on all of you..

Carolyn you are probably just working working working...

Veronika when is your follow up again?

Dania are you resting and just enjoying being preggers

Em how are you and I hope things with DH and work are better...

Laura I can not belive you have to wait that long for the test....

For me not much new just working and waiting and wating for AF...

love and hugs
Jackie

[Xrayem]

Hi girls,

Well AF is here, right on schedule. That means Clomid will start on Sunday (here comes the tears!) and hopefully an IUI on the 10 aug. Its funny, I was waiting for AF to show up so we could get started but at the same time, when I went to the loo and saw she had come, I was so disappointed. Oh well.

Can I have a whinge? I have this workmate who I get on very well with and I know that she has stopped the pill last month to ttc. She is 35 and has had a terrible time with an ovarian tortion which led to one ovary and tube being removed a long time ago. Her and her husband are not really children-lovers and she has admitted that if she doesn't fall pregnant naturally, they just won't bother having kids.

The other day I saw her pick up this ultrasound chart that we have to predict a rough due date for a baby based on the mothers last period. I know all about this as every cycle I dial up my dates to see when my baby will be born should I be successful (sad aren't I). Anyway, she did it really secretly, but I knew she was doing it and ever since I have had real difficulty being nice to her. I will be so angry if someone with only half the necessary equipment and doesn't even really want kids, gets pregnant naturally after only one month of trying. How will I be able to be happy for her?

Sorry, I always seem to be doing this don't I? I wonder if you keep doing this ART stuff long enough, does it ever get easier to accept other peoples good fortune? Or only harder?

Well, feeling all crampy and vile, so I'm off to lie on the couch for a bit. Hope you are all well,
Em

PS: DH is all sorted with his job. The boss has calmed down and realised DH wasn't really to blame and everyone's happy again. So tmt continues!

[CarolynB]

Dear All

Sorry I have been on the missing list. Begining of the week was mad busy at work to get the results out on Wednesday and then since then the partying has started.

Em - sorry to hear about the screw up for your dh. On Tuesday night just minutes before we sent the results we noticed a big screw up. Made by someone who works for someone who works for me. It was mental. We had to try to fix in, we were calling our auditors at midnight as everything was already signed off. I had to mail the CEO & CFO in the middle of the night and get everything altered. I was so stressed & angry. Anyway, got home at about 2am in the morning and had to be in for the results by like 8.30am on Wednesday. Share price reacted well - more money for tmt - and was all fine in the end. However, I can imagine the stress your dh would have been feeling. Guys in my team thought that they would be fired but it was all fine in the end. Now the reaction to the results is good everyone is on a real high but it was really very close to the wire - glad that I did not have a screw up on my last watch

Sorry that you are having a rough time. We all feel the same - why not me..................................I can only feel really happy for people now who have had a tough time trying - if it comes too easy then it is hard for me to be pleased

Glad that your AF is here right on time so that you can go again. Third time lucky for you girl

Laura - the full bladder thing is fine and I am sure that will help. What an annoying long wait for the bloods???

Jackie - could not believe it when I saw my ticker. 10 days to the op. I have told some people at work now as everyone is asking what I will do on my 1st day off Went to acu cutie yesterday. Asked him about acu in 2ww. His view is - NO. Yes during down regging, yes during stimmies, yes around EC & ET but not during the 2ww. Hope that this helps

Dania - hope that you & the little one are doing well

Veronika - hope that you are now fully recovered - good luck for the follow up appointment

So after the results on Wednesday I took my team for lunch and I let myself have two glasses of champagne. So I lasted 75 days without a sip including my 40th birthday. Given that we were out from midday until about 11pm - I think that was pretty controlled. I felt quite tipsy just on that amount. Weighed myself this morning and have lost 1 stone (14 lbs) since tmt put on about 10 lbs. I am so pleased. I was targting to lose another 2 lbs before my party but I got almost all the way there. Yesterday we had our summer party with journalists, analysts and bankers in an art gallery. Managed water again all night but sure that I'll have a few at my party this evening I have about 140 people coming to my party tonight. I am so excited. Bit nervous about having to make a speach. Getting my nails done this morning and going in late so I look my best!!!!! Off to a wedding tomorrow. So think that I shall spend all Sunday sleeping. Then just handover week to go at work which will be weird for me & the new guys. Then it is op time. Like Veronika the fact that I am so busy and so much going on, I have almost forgotten about al this ivf lark for a little while.

Have a lovely weekend. Probably check in on you all on Sunday when I managed to get myself out of bed.
Love
Carolyn xxxxx