For women having multiples

[wannababy1229]

First of all congratulations on your pregnancies! I hope you are healthy and enjoying this joyous time in your lives!

I have a question. When you told people (who didn't know you used assisted technology) that you were having multiples, did anyone ask from whose side of the family it came from? How did you respond? I am very curious to hear how others handled this situation. I am a very private person and have been very selective about who knows that I will be using IVF. In the event that I am blessed with twins, I'd like to be prepared on how to respond. Thanks so much! Any suggestions?

[chellejaya]

Hi there
Congratulations on your twin pregnancy.
Everyone is different. Personally, I have found it hard not to tell people that we had IVF because as you get deeper into conversation, it gets harder not to explain.
I don't know your circumstances but in this day, it is so common for couples to recieve treatment, in my experience, it has never been frowned upon.
To be honest, I feel extremely proud to have gone through IVF and had a positive result. My DH and I are glad to share our experiences. Of course, this is only our opinion. You must do what you feel is right.
I can understand reasons why you would want to not discuss it but I do think you would be suprised at the reactions youy get.
When are you due?
Good luck and enjoy every minute of your BFP

Chelle xxx

[PebblesUK]

Hi Chelle,

I'm not having a twin pregnancy but just wanted to reply to you. Multiple births doesn't have to come from either side, it has to start somewhere! Twins can happen in 1 in every 80 pregnancies without there being twins in the family. This is quite a high figure to start with. Triplets are a little more rare but not uncommon.

If you don't want to tell people you had IVF just tell people it had to start somewhere along the line and you were first in the queue!

Best of luck

Jo
xx

[kdc2006]

hi wanna....

congratulations on your positive..

when i started my ivf treatment(april) i told my work collegues and employer....i felt i had too as the amount appointments for the clinic which was nearly a 2 hour drive,they would of know something was happening with all the hospital appointments.....i also told some of my family....

a few friends always asked when i would be starting a family....i found that embarresing...so i told my 2 closest friends.....

there are also twins on either side of the family ....at least 4 sets on my side and 3 sets on my partners side.....
i dont mind now who knows about the ivf....im just happy that it worked .

take care
kareenx

[joanna]

Hi

My husband is a twin,so i generally tell people that,or i say none on my side i am the first!!!

I don't think i should have to explain to every one that we had ivf ,all my friends and family know but i'm not going to tell every one in the street!

Some people have asked if they are natural which i think is a bit nosy and then i do reply no ivf.

Just answer with what you feel most comfortable with and remember that our babies are more special!!!

Good luck!

Jo xx

[divinagracia]

I was and am happy to tell people these are little IVF angels after so many attempts

[kristiA]

I thought the first question people would ask was "did you have fertility help?". But instead it's exactly what you said "Do twins run in your family?"

I have 2 answers. To the cashier that is ringing me up at the baby store when I'm buying 2 of something I simply answer "nope, it doesn't run in our family". And that's that.

To someone that I connect with, have time for a discussion, or know well, I say "nope, it doesn't run in the family, I did IVF" and am willing to tell my entire IVF story, because (without making this posting huge) I do have a very unqiue exciting story and I love sharing it.

[divinagracia]

Hi Kris,

Would you care to share your story? I would like to hear it

Jen
X

[kristiA]

Ok! You asked!

Tried to conceive for over 10 yrs, about 5 failed IUI's. Always thought I'd just "die" if I didn't have a baby on my own. Last Fall all of a sudden one night something hit me....I realized I wouldn't die if I didn't have my own baby, and all of sudden had the desire to adopt a baby from Russia. It was like the most peaceful, content feeling. I cried. Getting rid of that desperation to have a baby was such a relief for me. So I went full force and started the adoption process.

In the meantime I had already had an apt scheduled with the IVF clinic (3 month wait to get in). Decided I might as well go. But wasn't sure why I felt that way. Told the IVF doc "I'm not doing any more surgery's, and I don't want to do IVF". It was all too stressful and I was ready to adopt. And can you believe he told me he was offering a one month discount of 50% off the cost! Then I found out my insurance covered the 100% of the cost of drugs. So I took it as a sign to try it ONCE so that I could never look back & wonder if I should have tried it.

I went through IVF not expecting it to work, still focused on adoption, very calm & relaxed. And to my amazement I got pg with twins!

So 1/2 the cost and 2 times the blessing. I never would have tried IVF without that discount....I preferred to spend the $ towards adoption and I had finally made peace with myself to adopt. If you are religious you might agree with me that God played a big part it both getting my mind content and at peace prior to IVF as well as the 50% discount that happened to be at the exact month I went to the clinic. If you aren't very religious, you can call it luck, fate or "meant to be".

So that's my story. It still brings tears to my eyes as I write it now.

[chellejaya]

You are right, that's an amazing story.

I love to hear of happy endings, our babies are going to be extra special as they are sooooo wanted.

I also think its special that we live so far away yet its wonderful to have a friend carrying twins so close in pregnancy weeks.
I do hope we can stay in touch.

Chelle xxx

[kristiA]

I agree Chelle. You and Ahart are the 2 people having twins closest to my due date. I'd love to keep in touch. Let's make sure we keep chatting.

By the way, I hope no one thought I meant that my story is any more unique than yours. I think we all have unique stories to tell...each one alittle different than each others. But one major thing in common...that we all know our babies are miracles and we are truly blessed & lucky to be pregnant. I thank God everyday. And I don't take these two babies for granted for a second. I still am amazed each day to think that I'm actually pregnant.

[chellejaya]

Kristi hun, I am sure no-one will think that.

[racquel]

Kristi - I loved your story, thanks for sharing! We should start a thread just for folks who want to share and read those stories, it's very inspiring!

[wannababy1229]

Thank you ladies for your responses and great stories! I don't have a BFP because I have not started injections yet. Maybe with you guys congratulating me that your success will rub off! I will certainly take it!!!

As always, I am jumping the gun with my sceanrio. I just wanted to know how you all handled it. Again, congrats on your pregnancy and please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I move forth with this process! Thanks!!!

[ahart]

Hi Ladies, We only told our OB doctor, We did not tell anyone else, b/c my family is so critical on alot of things so we don't want the undue stress, and it's our business....If it were not for that we would've told them. Other ladies may not be in the same situation as we are and can share this info with their family. There's nothing wrong with telling or not, depends on the individual situation. I have my scan tomorrow and will find out how big the beanies are, I can tell you all this....my lower beanie's having a field day pressing and stretching his feet in my pelvic area....feels weird.....I believe they play around in there or something b/c they move and kick alot....We have not decided on names as of yet.