2nd trimester bump buddies

[ahart]

Congrats on the learning genders ladies

[terri1]

I'm sorry but i might make myself unpopular here..............but since we are all being so honest...........
I don't think we should use the words 'gender disappointment' here. There are girls from the other boards that still come over here and read the posts and it must be quite hard for them to read this.
Its okay to have a preference, people can't help how they feel but to feel disappointed? There are still people out there trying so hard for a baby and some don't ever get there.
again, we can't help how we feel but I'm just thinking about how others feel who are still going through this nightmare of infertility.

My friend got pregnant last year when I was still trying, she had been trying for years too. Her husband was obsessed with it being a girl and would clearly have been disappointed if it was a boy. I just wish she hadn't told me this as it was like a knife through my heart every time she said it.

I honestly don't mind what we have and neither does my dh. we just feel sooo blessed to be having a baby.

I know everyone is thrilled here to be just having a baby and quickly gets over the disappointment if the sex is not what they thought. Just, please can we not use the words 'gender disappointment'

sorry if I've upset anyone, I don't mean to. I know you are all grateful to be pregnant and I'm not saying you are not appreciative. But after what we have all been through, we must never forget that there are still people going through this who would kill to be in our shoes.

love terri

[LisaB75]

Just a quick pop-in to say hi to everyone and congrats to the ladies who have found out the sex of their babies. I have 4 more days to wait!! I am so excited and nervous! Excited to know the sex and nervous about everything else - the toes, fingers, etc. I get so nervous before each scan! I had total "girl" feelings but for the past week or so they have changed to "boy" feelings. I have no idea why.

Keep posting the pics everyone - I agree with Kristi, it is so fun to see what everyone looks like!

Ok - time to go home now. Have a great day everyone

[heather14]

Terri-
I understand what you are saying but remember this message board is for those"Pregnant after Treatment", are we to screen what we say in order not to offend those who may be not be pregnant?

We are as honest as they come and yes my DH was disapointed that it was not a boy. Is he overjoyed that we are having a healthy baby girl? Lord, yes. We've tried for 4 years and spent in excess of $60,000.00 on fertility treatments. It was very helpful for me to voice my concerns with the other girls on this post and it was nice to see that dh was not the only one who felt this way. Mind you, the gender disapointment was shortlived. Lots of us have wanted one sex or the other at some time in our lives. Thank goodness for that or everyone would have just one child!

The nice thing about this message board is that we can see that most of our problems are usually shared with someone else and it helps all of us move on. We are very lucky to have this.
Heather

[terri1]

I agree, its somewhere where we can be honest and voice how we feel, which is what I did.

[bella-s]

I think that disappointment doesn't really describe how we felt - sometimes it's just a bit of shock. I felt I was having a boy, and felt a bit stupid that I completely misread my own body. I also did have really weird, down feelings, and I was a little ashamed of myself. It wasn't something I expected to feel - it kind of felt like it was happening to someone else. It passed after a couple of days, but I remember thinking that this could really lead to depression if I had waited to find out the sex at birth.

I think when people are too ashamed to voice their feelings that they are not always proud of, it could mean you are not able to cope with it all by yourself and lead to something worse. Sometimes talking to family or friends about this stuff is just too hard, and this forum gives us some anonimity to be a little more honest with ourselves & with others. I agree to someone trying to get pregnant, or even to an outsider, 'gender disappointment' could sounds harsh, but a lot of us know what it means & what it feels like - and that it is just a fleeting 'reaction' that doesn't reflect our true feelings at all.

When you're waiting for your BFP, so many things can make you envious - even people going through IVF for their 2nd or 3rd child, when you don't even have 1. We have all been there too, and will continue to provide advice to those waiting for BFPs on the board.

Sorry - a big rant, but I really wanted to help explain!!

Bella.

[JustinesBaby]

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[bella-s]

Hi Justine - congratulations on your miracle baby! I love the name Nicholas, and if we had a boy I would have loved that, but DH wouldn't let me. His uncle, who is realitvely 'famous' in my state, is Nicholas, so I fear I may never have a little boy called Nick

How premature was Sophie?

Bella.

[Tracii]

Welcome Justine! And congrats on the natural pregnancy

I have briefly read through the posts trying to get up to date. Sounds like everyone is doing really well I love the photos and will post one next week (I bought a new digital camera so just need to load the software).

Anyone have or had the gestational diabetes test? Mine is next Thursday..I hope everything is ok...the doc told me to lay off all the fruit I have been eating (too high in natural sugar) but I love a big bowl of fresh fruit or fresh squeezed juice.

I am definitely finally showing...I am getting bigger in the tummy but I also think Isabella is gaining more weight..feeling heavier...and starting to slow down a little bit....oh yeah....and another lovely pregnancy symptom..I have a hemorroid ..sort of expected it since I have horrible vericose veins in my legs..I just pray Isabella doesn't inherit my poor blood circulation.

It has turned really cold here in Munich..we went from temps close to 100 to temps in the low 50s in about 2 days. I can't believe I am wearing a wool sweater.

[terri1]

I think you explained it well Bella, and I understand what you are saying. It is the words 'gender disappointment' that I found hard to read. I don't understand how it feels because I have never felt it so I don't want to judge anyone that feels it. like I said, we can't help the feelings we have and we should be able to be honest here of all places. Its just the term used here.
and I do think that people who are still ttc, come to this board to look for advice and inspiration and I still want to be there for them and help them.

Congratulations Justine. my baby is due just after Christmas too. just can't wait!

love terri

[sue e]

Justine - congratulations on your miracle baby.

tracii - I have got my diabetes tests a few days after yours on the Monday and will get the results the week after. Hoping yours goes well, my clinic have told me i will be there for about 2 and half hours, so to make sure i have a number of books with me !!! two days later i have another scan, i wonder if this one will be any clearer. Hoping the weather does a u-turn again for you.

Hope those bumps are all doing well

love

sue e xx

[ahart]

Hi Ladies,

I agree with the gneder thingy....DH wanted a girl/boy, however we are having 2 boys and he's as happy as he can be. We are all human and it's human to fell that way/and the other way...

I have my test next Tuesday and my 24wk U/S, although I'm 25 wks...U/S doc gave me an option of having them every 4 or 5 weeks...of course we extended it b/c we have to pay 10% of the cost x 2.....

DH and I were up most of the night b/c I was having contractions and ligament pulling....I feel a great deal of pressure in my region below and now I'm waiting on him to take me to the doctor/ER...I will keep you all informed about the outcome...probably overdid myself yesterday..DH last night of bowling ont he league for the season and of course I wanted to be there for moral support.

[kristiA]

I had the gestational diabetes test yesterday. It was no big deal at all. I had to drink 10 ounces of carbonated orange liquid. Honestly, it tasted exactly like an orange soda pop. It pumped me with sugar after fasting for 12 hours, but I didn't feel dizzy or anything. Then they took my blood one hour after I drank it.

I might have mispoke about a few of us being in the 3rd T after/on 26 weeks. I read an article yesterday that said the 1st T is weeks 1-end of 13.....2nd T is weeks 14-end of 27....and 3rd T is weeks 28-40. So 13 weeks in the 1st T, 14 weeks in the 2nd T, 13 weeks in the 3rd T. Funny that it took me ages to find out such a simple thing.

[JustinesBaby]

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[terri1]

Hi Justine

no, we don't know if its a girl or boy. We had our 20 week scan today and actually asked at the start that she not let it slip what the sex was as we want a surprise at the end. I think if I was having multiples I'd want to know just to get organised with pink/blue stuff! The woman at the ultra sound said most people want to know now.

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I really tried to word my post about gender carefully because I don't like to judge people when I haven't been in their shoes. still I think I managed to upset a few people. If you look at the words I wrote, I did say its okay to have a preference but it was the words used to describe it that upset me. Like you said Ahart, your husband would have liked boy/girl but was still happy with 2 boys. I'm not saying theres anything wrong with that.
I'm sorry if I upset anyone. I should be able to talk about my feelings too though and thats how I felt.