Anxious

[PebblesUK]

I know it's only normal but today I'm feeling really anxious. I know I'm only 9 weeks and not even out of the "danger zone" yet but I've been reading my pregnancy books and they are talking about the tests which are coming up and telling us to think about the birth. When I had my 4 year old it was just a horrific birth (sense the sterlisation) I know it can be recitified by having a section but that scares me too.

I'm also worried if there's a problem with the baby. I know I'm not old but I'm older than I was, also being diabetic puts you at a higher risk of birth defects. My other two are ok. Well sort of, my three year old has considerable reflux and lung disease. She's going in to Great Ormond Street for her operation on 15 September. I know after her operation she will be "normal" (well normal for someone who will never be able to vomit or burb again) but just thinking the two years we've had with her being so ill and now I'm pregnant again I'm worrying how I'm going to cope.

I know all this undue worrying - does it ever stop??!!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Jo
xx

[terri1]

hello

I don't think it will ever stop. You know better than me as you have kids already so you just confirmed to me again that the worry never stops!
we go from worrying about getting pregnant, to worrying about the baby for 9 months, to worrying about the labour, then the rest of our lives I assume worrying about our children growing up!
it terrifies me but I feel very excited at the same time.

If you had a very bad experience with childbirth before then maybe you should have a chat to the midwife about your fears. No wonder you are scared if you went through a hard time before, I'm sure its normal.

do you know you can have a test at just over 11 weeks called the nuchal transluency scan which will tell you your risks of having a baby with any major problems like downs syndrome? its private, ours cost about £140 but it puts your mind at rest. You would only have a few weeks to wait then before having it. It looks at the baby in detail and they take a blood test too. we thought it was money well spent as we were able to watch out baby on the screen for about half an hour and then get the peace of mind that everything was okay.

Just be reassured...........you are normal! And you will cope because us women always do.........plus we are good at multi-tasking!

love terri

[racquel]

Hi Jo - feeling anxious about the whole thing, including delivery, is perfectly normal at any point in your pregnancy It sounds like you've been through a lot with your other children ... maybe you've paid your dues and this one will be a piece of cake!!

take care, Racquel

[kristiA]

Jo, I was so worried & anxious about whether to have the amnio or CVS (actually didn't want to do either one). I went through a few weeks of really worrying about it and making/cancelling appointments. Then I heard of the nuchal test, like Terri mentioned. It has no risk at all (like amnio or CVS) and it tells your chances of having a genetic defect, as well as it checks for many other things. After my test results showed with 90+% accuracy that the babies would be healthy, I finally stopped worrying. I think I had worried more about the tests and causing risk to the babies, then actually having something wrong with the babies. It was stressful for me. Check out the nuchal test. And good luck!

[PebblesUK]

Thank you for your replies. Am feeling a little better before. Told DH all my worries last night, he thinks I'm being silly as I was diabetic with the last two and I wasn't like this.

Am definately going to speak to the midwife next week about the nuchal scan. I definately want to do that. Will also speak to her about the birth. I know they will let me have a section if I ask and for me there's no choice. The hardest part for me is explaining to them what happened before as I still can't talk about it without crying. I wrote a piece about Emma's birth for the NCT monthly booklet once, maybe I can dig that out and get them to read it, they might understand then!

Thanks again

Jo
xx

[terri1]

Hi Jo

glad you are feeling a bit better. I think its a good idea about showing the article to your midwife if its too painful to talk about. but even if you do talk to her and cry, thats okay, I'm sure they are used to it. They must come across so many people who have been traumatised.
theres nothing wrong with crying. Did you have any counselling after going through this as it sounds to me like you may have some post traumatic stress. I once suffered post traumatic stress from something else and I know if you don't deal with it, it stays with you. I had counselling quite soon after and it really helped.
I have read articles about women who have ptsd after a traumatic childbirth so it does happen.

love terri