Pregnant and still not enjoying it???

[DolceVita]

OK Ladies,

I guess its just my day today to feel down and anxious. I guess with triplets the hormone levels have really kicked in and i feel like i just want to cry all day long. I think half of the problem stems from the fact that i still have not told many people im pregnant and im getting the looks of "oh shes gained weight". I truly want to tell people but im so terrified of something going wrong and people just feeling sorry for me. Am i acting childish or foolish i really dont know which today. A few people i have told i still havent mentioned its triplets, maybe its because im scared of their reactions, ive just told them its twins and people freak out and tell me how hard its going to be bla bla bla and i think to myself "my God if they only knew i was having triplets they would go crazy'' I think a few of those experiences have held me back from enjoying my blessings and i have started to feel guilty for mentioning only two rather than three, Girls what is wrong with me, i should be so happy and proud im so blessed but why do i feel so sad and scared of telling people?
Please help, any advice would be appreciated, im sorry if some of this doesnt make sense.

[jeck]

Vita--I am so sorry that you are down today!! Those darn hormones!! With our first pregnancy (ectopic) We told our family and friends after an early ultra sound where doc thought he saw the baby. I didn't regret telling family but they had shared with their friends and so forth and I regretted that. 1st IVF we waited until us at 7w2d and we heard the heartbeat, we told our immediate family that night and I am glad because they were great support when I miscarried. Take from me Miscarriage is not any easier if no one knows about the pregnancy than if they do! It is terrible either way!

My point is I would tell people that you know would support you if something happened. Those who care about you will be excited for you and want to support you!

Enjoy your pregnancy!! You have been giving an amazing gift and God never gives us more than we can handle!! So I know that you are very special!!!

You have worked hard to achieve this pregnancy and deserve to enjoy it and don't let anyone take that from you!!!

Hope you are feeling better soon!!

[PebblesUK]

(((((DV)))))

I'm so sorry you aren't feeling very happy today, it happens to the best of us.

You are over 12 weeks so are going to find it hard hiding it from anyone soon whether you want to or not! I'm already so large, my tummy looks like I'm 6 months already and it's so hard. People are stroking it - I daren't tell them that's only distended intestine!

Having 3 isn't going to be easy. ttc for 4 years, having 5 iui's, one failed ivf now that's hard. Your babies are going to be a challenge, a very fulfilling, rewarding challenge, they are going to bring you so much joy, love, tears and so much happiness you won't be able to discribe!

The first few months will probably be a blur to you. I think it was about 4 months when I was finally into a routine, then I wondered what all the fuss was about!

As for not telling many people, you've wanted this so much for so long, this is your and dh's moment, your time, your pregnancy, your babies, it really doesn't matter what other people think but I'm sure they will be over the moon and so so happy for you.

You can tell people the third baby was hiding on the other scan - not uncommon!

The worrying that something bad will happen never stops. The conception, the pregnancy, the birth, first check up, first day of school, I'm not even going to mention the teenage years! My Emma has had 3 lots of grommets fitted, Jodie had to have an operation to remove a cyst on her head when she was 8 months old, she also has reflux and lung disease and is going to London to have an operation next month. Everytime they go to theatre it's the longest moment of my life. The worrying never ends but we cope, unfortunately we can't wrap them up forever. I think they are the safest they will ever be where they are now!

Sorry I've gone way off track but I just wanted you to know you're completly normal, while we are pregnant every single emotion is normal, we can get away with anything!!

If you're still there and I haven't bored you into a coma yet, I just want to send you a big hug!

Thinking of all of you!

Jo
xxx

[EYCI]

Dolce,
Don't ever apologize for how you are feeling with your pregnancy!! There is nothing wrong with you!!! It is perfectly ok to feel sad and scared. Going through IVF can only be understood once you've lived it, and unfortunately I think we have all feared "judgement" of the outside world and the fear of what may go wrong. It is very scarey to tell people, because you don't know how people are going to react. I was also scared to tell people just in case something went wrong. I didn't want to face people afterwards and have to explain.

When I finally decided to tell people, I simply said "I'm pregnant." It was inevitably followed by "Do you know what you're having?" To this I repied, "Yep, TWINS! ... and we couldn't be more excited." This usually cut off people's insensitive comments about how much work it would be. When people did remark about how hard it would be, I simply would say "Well, I trust that God gave me what I could handle so I'm not at all worried." Even though deep down I was concerned (who wouldn't be???)

When one of my twins miscarried, I was grateful that people knew about the pregnancy and the twins because I could grieve over the loss without having to hide it.

Try not to worry or care about what other people will think. Just try to reflect on your own feelings of being blessed and hopefully the happiness will come.

--Julie

[terri1]

I just nearly wet myself laughing at Jo's comment about people stroking her tummy and not daring to tell them its just distended intestine! that is so funny!

It is normal to have down days and anxious days and a lot of it is down to hormones. And since you have 3 babies in there, your hormones are probably racing! I had days in the first 3 months where I cried half the day over nothing. A slightly sad story would come on the news and I'd be in floods of tears. I tried to decorate a birthday cake and it went wrong so I bawled my eyes out. It astounded me how I could be! I never felt down about being pregnant but it was just hormones that made me like this! I worried constantly though. It gets better the further you go on but the worry is still there.
One day, I was in the supermarket and some women were taking ages buying their cakes. I just wanted to scream at them 'don't you know I'm pregnant and I need my cream cake now!'

I agree with Jeck. I told the closest people to me early on because I thought, if something goes wrong, I will need them. And everyone else I told at 12 weeks. I felt exactly like you do, that if something went wrong I didn't want people feeling sorry for me.
But whatever you do, its your decision, not anyone elses. However long you leave it, thats fine.

You know you are blessed but being pregnant does make us worry a lot and having triplets just multiplies that by 3! My friend had identical triplets! She was a single mother with another child too! I do not know how she did it! I think that we just turn into superwoman when our baby or babies arrive! And I bet that because you are having 3, everyone will be dying to help out just so they can see them!

don't feel bad about feeling like this, you are perfectly normal!
love terri

[DolceVita]

Thank You Ladies,

You all have uplifted my mood.. I can admit that this is not an easy road anyone of us are on. But wow it makes such a difference having all of you ladies around. I told my husband about all the great advice and posts here, he thinks im absalutely addicted to this site and i must say i am.

Tomorrow i have an appointment with a perinatologist hope he has some good news for me, this is my first appointment with this sort of specialist. I hope he will do something that will ease my mind and tell me things will be well.

But as all of you ladies said God never gives us more than what we can handle. I am truly blessed and grateful for the miracle of lives he has placed inside of me...

Talk to you ladies soon!