Columbus, Ohio X2

Discussion forum for those particularly interested in IVF and embryo transfer including frozen embryo transfer.
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Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Hi,

They called.. It is positive, but only 29. So it looks bad. Cause my last booster was on Sunday, so it is likely the Ovidril still in my system. They want to see it between 50-100, and if I was doing the PIO the 29 might not be a bad result, but since I have the HCG booster, I think the 29 is a negative.

Liz, I just feel like it is never going to happen for me... Maybe my numbers will go way up. But if not I have to do the whole thing again. I saw Barbara Longstreth today, you know the councilor, and she said someone had a level of 20 and the next time it was in the hundreds, but who knows if she was on ovidrill. Likely not since Barbara works with ORM people.

I just can;t beleive I have to start all over. I am going to do a a general post to see if anyone has ever had a first level that low.
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LisaB75
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Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:11 pm
Location: Columbus, Ohio US

Post by LisaB75 »

Hey Courtney - I got your PM. I am sure you are feeling very frustrated at the moment - but try not to give up hope. Afterall, why would they bother to test you again if they thought you were for sure negative? Since everybody is different, everyone's levels rise at different paces. You could very well be pregnant. It does suck that you have to wait until Monday - that would drive me crazy. Just try to stay distracted as much as possible. This could still go your way! As far as cramping goes, I think I have probably told you I had PMS cramps throughout my entire 2ww - and actually off and on for the first couple months of pregnancy - so don't read too much into those.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you hon, try to stay positive although I know it's hard, ok?
Lisa B
Age: 35
Blocked Tubes
First IVF cycle Mar/Apr 06 - BFP!! DD born December 2006.
Left tube removed 2007
Ectopic Pregancy naturally in June 2008
Right tube removed 2009
Round 2 IVF - Oct/Nov 2010 - BFP!!!
lm
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Posts: 132
Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:03 pm

Post by lm »

Courtney...I really don't have the words....I know you are sad, frustrated, angry, and confused...but I don't feel like it is over yet. I frequent another website and just last week a girl had a BFP with a 23. Her next test was 50 something, and her third was 300 something. HCG is different for EVERYONE. Lisa bumped a thread up comparing Betas. I read it and there are a couple of people that had low initial Betas. I also read about another girl that was on the boosters that started with a 30. You just never know! Don't worry about the cramps too much. I am still having them!

If it is negative, and I pray that it isn't, think about all of the advantages you will have for the next time. You are soooooo strong and now you will know what to expect! Dr. G may decide on different drugs so you get even more eggs. You won't be afraid of the ER and have that stress. I hear of soooo many people that are successful on the second round. i know that is not what you want to hear...I wouldn't either. BUT IT ISN'T OVER YET! YOU WILL BE PREGNANT...YOU WILL BE A MOM...A STAY AT HOME MOM, AT THAT! :lol:

When they called today, did you talk to the nurse, or was it a message? Did you aske how long they require you to wait if you do need to try again? I liked the couselor, Barbara. Do you? She really helped me think about things.

I am sending a million prays your way. Please don't give up yet. You are strong and courageous!!!!! Please let me know how you are.......
LM
TTC 24 months

Age:29
1st IVF- June/ July 2006
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Hey Liz,

Thanks for the nice post! I am feeling sad tonight, and so is my DH. Thr nurse left me a message, but I called back and had her call me. I wanted to talk in person. It was Marla who I really like, but she has only been there a year and I don't think she knows as much as the other nurses, but still nice and helpful. Anyway she said that she does not have experience with the booster shots and how much HCG would still be left after taking my last one on Sunday. I know it stays for 10 days, but as to the amount who knows. Anyhow I asked if we could do another Beta Sat and she said yes but they would not be there to give me the results. So we are doing another tomorrow. She told me not to freek out if the number does not move much since it is just 24 hrs. But my feeling is, if it goes up even at all there is a chance. If not, then it is likely the booster still. So I still have some hope. But I could not face the weekend having no idea. I will go back for the other Beta on Mon.

I have been talking to the girl whose level was 30 at first.. She was on boosters too. Her level went from 30, 48 then somewhere in the 100's, for get what ?? So that gives me hope.

Also Marla said other people have had that low beta and everything has been ok. So maybe. If not I will get my period when I stop my suppositories, and then they make you wait a cycle, so I guess I get another period and then start again?

If it does not work I am going to see Dr. G and see what he suggests. My DH is frustrated and is positive if we did it again it would not work. So that is frustrating too. I know a lot of people don't get the BFP the first round. You are so lucky! I hope that is me one day.

Anyway I will post tomorrow and let you know my new number.
lm
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Post by lm »

Hi Courtney!

I know you are sad...you actually sounded okay last night. I pray you get a glimmer of good news today. If it is in fact negative, I am sure Dr. G will have a follow up appointment with you...maybe your DH will feel better after that. My DH is the same way. When I was so upset that none of our remaining 4 perfect blasts were frozen my DH was very upset and negative...saying that all they want is our money and since a FET is soooo much cheaper they didn't want to freeze any to force us into another fresh cycle. Men...that is how they think.

Hang in there...let me know when you hear something and feel up to it.
LM
TTC 24 months

Age:29
1st IVF- June/ July 2006
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Hi Liz,

Well the number today was only 19. So infact now I can say BFN. I never thought I would say that. But here I am. After three years of trying and a year of treatment I am SO sick of it all. I almost feel like giving up.

They want me to still come back on Monday to get tested. But I know it will be 0 by then. I feel like I killed three embryos. It is terrible to feel this way, but I do. I just feel that there must be something wrong with me that I can not get preg.

I left a message that I want to see Dr. G. face to face in the next couple of weeks. So I am sure they will call me back today or Mon to sched. something.

I called an adoption agency today, Gentle Care and have an appt the week after next. I just feel like we need to move in that direction as well. Everyone always told me IVF would work. Well they where quite wrong when it comes to me. It is like we have this great life for a baby, we have a huge empty house, a great family and would be able to give the baby everything possible. And alas we can't get preg.

Anyway, I have months to go before anything else happens. But one thing I am going to ask about is using donor eggs and my DH's sperm. I just don't feel like going through the ER and all the meds again. I know I will likely try it one more time, but maybe if we use a donor egg we will have a better rusult. I don't have to have my own bio-child, it can be form a donor. I know they don't do donor embryos at our clinic, but I did read they do donor eggs. So I am anxious to talk to them about options.

Thanks for being there for me it has meant a lot. I will keep you updated but nothing much is happing for a while now. I will let you know about Monday... But I want you to concentrate on your pregnancy and your two babies! Please keep me posted on how you are doing. I am going to send you a private message with my e-mail if you ever want to e-mail me. Take care, and have a nice weekend.
jeck
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Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:51 pm
Location: USA

Post by jeck »

Kelly,

Sorry to butt in but I read your post and I am sorry that things are not going well...

Also, I wanted to say that we have been weighing all our options and the costs of these options and we told our RE this and she said that if we were considering adoption that we should consider adopting an embie that it was much cheaper than adoption and we would know the prenatial care that the baby had etc... This might be an option for us later but they also offered to give us our fertiltiy meds for free so we are going to try one more cycle.

I know what you mean about feeling like you killed your embies I felt the same way. We got a +ve with our 1st IVF and saw the wonderful heartbeat and was released to OBGYN. 1st visit to him he couldn't find the heartbeat. I was devastated and thought something chromosomely was wrong with baby and I didn't want it to suffer so that comforted me somewhat. Well then come to find out when the genetic testing came back it was a girl with Normal chromosomes, so then I blamed myself and I blamed myself again with the -ve FET. RE thinks that we have had some bad luck and that it will work...

Sorry I got off on a tangent...
Good luck and take care.
Jeck
1st IVF 3/06 lost @ 8w3d
FET 7/06 -ve
2nd IVF 10/06 lost @ 5w4d *8 Frosties Left
Became a Mommy through Adoption!!!!
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Hi Jeck,

Sorry for all you have been through too! I can't imagine being 8 wks and then loosing the baby. I feel for you and how much you have gone through, I can not imagine it.

My clinic does not do adopted embryo transfers. But they do, do donor eggs. On my last cycle (first IVF) we got 11 egg and only 5 where good enough to fert. Out of those 5 only 3 fertalized. Anyhow they did a day 2 transfer and they where 2 cell and grade two. We thought we had a good chance. But maybe my eggs are just not that great. That is why I would consider using a donor egg with my DH's sperm. But I am sure the Dr. will give us advice on what he thinks. I am just tired of having to go through all the procedures... I will do what I have to and move on, but right now I just feel out of control.

I am glad your clinic is donated the meds for you.. WOW that has got to save you a lot! That is really nice of them. I wish you good luck with what ever you deside to do.
lm
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Posts: 132
Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:03 pm

Post by lm »

courtney- I am sooooo sorry to hear your sad, sad news. I don't think I can say anything that will make you feel better. When I had my miscarriage nothing anyone sad helped...you are going through a similar thing right now.

I think it is great that you called an adoption agency. You will probably move in that direction and another IVF and wind up with two children at the same time! :lol: Wouldn't that be great!

Donor eggs....are you worried about the quality of your eggs? It didn't seem like the quality was bad...I don't think you had fragmentation???? Maybe you just respond better to different drugs??? I really do trust Dr. G. He is very intelligent and compassionate. I don't think he will let you down.

I did not get your PM. I don't really know how to do that??? Here is my email anyway....elizabeth_meyer@olentangy.k12.oh.us

I would love to keep in touch. I definately want to hear what Dr. G says when you meet/ talk with him...and how the adoption meeting goes. I can't say it enough...you have such a big heart! I think it is a great idea. At least then you will feel like you are really doing something!!!

Please let me know how things are going....I am still praying....
LM
TTC 24 months

Age:29
1st IVF- June/ July 2006
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Hi Liz,

Hope your weekend was nice. The weather was great, so it made the weekend better. Went for the last Blood draw this am, so I expect to talk to them this afternoon. We have to wait a whole 4 weeks before we see the Dr. I guess it takes that long to get all the information in and reviewed. I think it is a long time, but what can you do. The person that called back is the one who handles all the egg donors. So had an interesting talk with her. She said they normally have between 5-8 donors profiles. I guess they go through an extensive background check with them, blood work ( more than we did ), get complete background on relatives and all. Plus they have to see Barb Longstreth and she has to give the "ok" that they are stable. Then when I would pick someone they would try and get our cycles alike and they would do a fresh cycle with this person. I would do some meds to get ready, but not all the stims. It sounds interesting. Anyhow you read the profile and it tells you things like, highth, weight, bone structure anything and every thing about them. It would be hard to choose, but I guess one step better than adoption.

I talked to the Lab this am and they did not keep very good notes on my eggs, but they said the quality was not the best it could have been, but Dr. G will be able to give better advice. The good news in all you don't have to wait that long for a donor is we need one. Do you know that actually put an add in the paper for the donors. How weird is that? We would pay this person $3000, but I am not so sure I would do it for that. Would you? Anyway I will let you know what my test is today. I know it will be <5, but who knows!

Hey good luck with starting school. I am sure you will be busy and not checking this as much. I think I might stay off of it for a while too and try to not think about it so much.

Please e-mail me too if you want to, that might be a fun way of keeping in touch too!

Hope you are feeling well. Will you have another scan at ORM or are you on to your OB?
LisaB75
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Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:11 pm
Location: Columbus, Ohio US

Post by LisaB75 »

Courtney,

I know you are probably feeling like crap right now, and I am so sorry for you. It sounds like you are exploring other options, which is good - I believe it is good to always look forward. Maybe, by the time your follow-up appt rolls around in 4 weeks, you will feel better and your DH will have a better attitude. I agree with Liz - Dr. G is wonderful and compassionate and I am sure you will feel better after discussing everything with him. Sometimes they just need to tweak your meds a little bit and it will work the second time. It usually doesn't work the first time for most people - Liz and I are very lucky that it did for us. Maybe it wasn't the quality of your eggs - but the maturity level. Who knows? Don't give up hope until you talk to the doc. Take these next few weeks for yourself to heal and regroup. I know you have been hearing all of this from everyone already - and you are going to feel lousy no matter what anyone says. Just know that I, like many, will be thinking and praying for the best for you. I just know you will be a wonderful mother some day!!
Lisa B
Age: 35
Blocked Tubes
First IVF cycle Mar/Apr 06 - BFP!! DD born December 2006.
Left tube removed 2007
Ectopic Pregancy naturally in June 2008
Right tube removed 2009
Round 2 IVF - Oct/Nov 2010 - BFP!!!
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Hi LisaB,

Thanks for you words... I appreciate it more than you know. I did pretty well over the weekend and I trying to move past this.

IM,

I just heard back from the nurse and the Beta is now 4, BFN. I have an appt in 4 weeks and we will talk to Dr. G then.

Keep me posted on how you are doing!
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Liz,

Hey good luck with school starting tomorrow!!! I have to say I know you will be busy all day with school and not checking this thing and I feel sad about not talking as much. I know it is so weird to have a friendship over this computer, but you have been such a good friend through this.

I was thinking about you driving in to work today and how fun it would be to teach all those kids. I mean talk about something to take your mind off things. I wish I had that. My job is good and I have a lot of free time to do things. But sometimes I wish I was so busy I had no time to think! Especially right now. I am doing well, but I do get sad when I think about it too much, so I am tring not to.

Anyhow, hope your classroom is all ready and you are too! Did you buy any new fall clothes? :) I think you deserve some too. Even if you can only wear them the next few months! Then you will be moving on to something else.

Hey when is your next scan?
lm
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Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:03 pm

Post by lm »

Hi Courtney....

Thanks for the post...It is fun to teach. I enjoy it very much, until about May. That is when my angelic seventh graders turn into hormonal eighth graders and I start praying for summer. My room is ready and I am as ready as I will be! Thanks for asking....

The scan today went well. We saw and heard both heartbeats. So, I guess it is offical for now....Twins. I am happy, but still soooo nervous. My DH really thinks I am nuts. I don't know when my next scan will be. I was released to my regular OB today so I will call them tomorrow to find out.

How are you? You sound like you are doing great. You are being proactive and moving in all the right directions. I will be very interested in what Dr. G says. I thought what you said about donor eggs was amazing. I can't believe they get 3000. I am with you....I don't know if I would do it for that either???? I also want to hear how your adoption meeting goes. It is this week isn't it??

I would love to keep in touch....I know it is crazy, but I always look forward to coming home and reading your posts. I don't have your email...I never got the pm, but here is mine again....

elizabeth_meyer@olentangy.k12.oh.us

I will keep checking back here in the meantime. Let me know how you are! Liz
LM
TTC 24 months

Age:29
1st IVF- June/ July 2006
Kelly72
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Posts: 102
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:35 pm

Post by Kelly72 »

Liz,

Just wanted to let you know I sent you an e-mail! Now you will have all my contact info...

Hope your first day of school went well. I bet you are busy now!
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