October buddies??

[Jen J]

Nance-LOVE the calendar idea. Maybe writing out a list and checking each thing off will help me feel like I have more control. I am trying not to look too far ahead and just take each day as it comes but this is not a skill I have ever been very good at! I am a great worrier but that is really not productive!

Jordan-Thanks for the prednisone info. So far, I haven't been told to take it and I start Lupron on Sunday and don't return to the doctor until 9/26. Glad to know what it's for though! They told me to bring the packing list of meds to that appt and they would go over everything with me and then I will probably start stimming that day or the next so I am eager for this next appt as I have some questions!!

Thanks to everyone for the votes of confidence!

[jenn]

Good morning everyone!!

I am in a great mood since I got my first shot in the rear. It is only one Lupron shot for me. It was a big one! Now we wait for AF. She should arrive in 5-7 days, then I start stimming. I was tricked this morning- I thought I was only going in for little one shot and when that was done the nurse was like "ok now pee in this cup" THEN when I finished that she was like "ok now sit and I am going to take all your blood." Ok it wasn't all my blood, but it sure felt like it. She did say she was glad I am a big water drinker because that helps with getting blood out. So there- I learned something new. she said to keep drinking because when I am giving blood like every other day it will help when the veins don't want to cooperate! ok I'm done babbling...

Welcome Haylie!!!! I read the thread you were on a couple of weeks ago. Glad to have you!

Ladies - don't be too jealous of the valium, I only got ONE. I guess I will have about 4 hours of peace throughout this whole process, or however long the one pill lasts!! I can't remember if I take it on EC or ET, I'll have to look at the bottle.

Jeck- try to have fun, keep positive, we'll miss you! Just focus on the innocent, cute baby that's what I do. I understand your feelings. I don't go to baby showers anymore.

Have a great day my friends!!

[cmoscar]

Well, I am waiting on the way. I am just waiting for my AF so I can do my next u/s and start the stims on day 3. My RE has ordered my meds and they will be delivered directly to my RE so I do not have to have them come to my work for my boss to see . I am very excited and now I can get a new ticker!

Racheal

[nictor]

Hey Ladies,how is everyone,well i hope..

My sister in law,had a section today and got a little boy,she fell pg when my first ivf failed,now i always thought ive been ok with this (my sister who im really close to,fell pg when my 2nd failed,and i was sooo jealous)but back to my sil and we're fairly close and ive never once realy envied her,well my mum called my mobile after work today and said she'd got a boy,well i had to stay in car for ages i just couldnt drive i was crying so much,came home went to bed and cried all afternoon,i feel like sh**,DP said dont be gutted,just be happy for her the world wont stop having babies cos we're trying,but honestly,its soooo hard..

Im sorry thers no personals,and sorry too for the selfish rant..

I am so glad you ladies are here to listen and understand what im going through,at least i know you understand..I HONESTLY sometimes think its this board that keeps me sane,im so glad i found it..

Take care..Nicola..xxx

[Nance]

Nicola,

Rant away. You are not selfish at all. We understand how hard it is and how unfair it seems that everyone else so easily gets what we want so desperately and will do anything for. I know it is hard but just have faith that it will happen and everything you have done will be worth the results.

Feel better and if you need to rant some more you know where we are.

Nancy

[jordan22]

Nicola.. you don't HAVE to be happy for her... it is totally OK to be as mad as you want.. it is NOT fair and NO one will understand how you feel unless they are in our shoes... ((((HUGS)))) My brother's Girls friend had a baby last November and I am still mad about that... I am NOT happy for them.... because I am too busy being sad for myself... NO one else is sad for me.. so I wont be Happy for them.. (childish I know.. but infertility stinks bad!!!!

[Haylie]

Hi
Thanks for the welcome.

Try and keep your chin up Nicola. You cannot ignore the way you feel you are only human and it is just so unfair. For some reason we are on this long and painful journey but keep faith that one day your mum will be calling everyone else on their mobiles to say you have just given birth!!! My SIL is due around the same time I get my results from my ivf and she is on her 2nd since we have been trying, so I am just dreading it if it doesn't work. And it isn't that you are not happy for her it just reinforces and brings home your own situation.

Hx

[nictor]

Tonia,Nancy..Thank you so much for your words,they mean a lot to me,im sorry about earlier,i didnt think id take it so bad..Im kinda calmed a bit now,although my thoughts are still why her and not me...

Im going to the maternity hospital tommorow,im not looking forward to that but on the other hand im looking forward to seeing my nephew..

Tonia,youre so right this whole bloody lark stinks..

Again id like to say im so grateful for you ladies being in my life,i just wish we knew each other in happier circumstances..

Take care,all my love..Nicola..xxxx

[jeck]

Nicola-- I just wanted to send you a bid hug!!!!

[AuntyPebbles]

Hey lady's,
Nicola im so sorry your having a tough time i know its hard...BUT,
you know we should feel sorry for those couples who do things the old fashiond way i mean they get whatever we get to choose the cream of the crop the best of the best our babies come with a blue ribbon of exellence...and when you go tomorrow you will see well ok the babies are cute and all but our babies come out with a stamp on their butts 100% prime cuties... sorry just the way i feel.

Haylie hello there...so good to see you here too.... are we naughty being on two threads....

Racheal thanks for the reminder ooo new ticker....

to everyone else hope your doing well keep up the PMA...

love and hugs Debz

[lori]

Nicola,
I completely understand, it it's okay to be sad for yourself. One of my best friends found out she was PG the exact same day I found out that I had a miscarriage. She is an IVF patient, but it was so hard for me to deal with as this is her third. I had to tell her that I needed a 2 week break and we didn't talk during that time. I was so sad and I needed time to grieve. It's gotten better with time- but hearing baby news from anyone is so frustrating. I don't do baby showers as it's too hard. We all know exactly how you feel. Don't feel guilty - it's normal to feel that way.

Last night, I was really sick - I had a temperature of 100.4, headache, chills and aches. I don't know if it's from the meds that I started the day before, but I still don't feel great. I paged my RE at 9pm and she told me to take Tylenol and weather through the storm. This is my 3rd round and this has never happened to me. Has it to anyone else?

Also, has anyone given themselves a Repronex shot before? I might need to tomorrow night and I don't know if I can do it! I do Lurpon ones, but the big needles scare me!

Lori

[Jen J]

Nicola-I think one of the hardest things about infertiliy is watching others have babies seemingly effortlessly. It is so hard-I get pangs when I hear of anyone that has had a baby or learned she is pregnant-even if I barely know them! Plus I always feel a little bit on the spot-like people are watching my reaction. My SIL just announced her pg, two days after our last failed IUI and decision to proceed with IVF. It is the first pregnancy in our family-I am so jealous and it sometimes eats me up knowing that she got pg on her first try when I have tried for years for this. I know in my head that other people's babies/pregnancies have nothing to do with DH & me but my heart doesn't feel this way. I wish for the day when I no longer feel anything but happiness for others at their wonderful news but I am not there yet (and I don't know if I'll get there any time soon!). I am thinking of you and hoping your visit to the hospital goes well.

Lori-I have never done ANY shots myself-kudos to you for being able to any of them yourself! When I read about you ladies that take matters into your own hands, I am absolutely beside myself with admiration! Good luck with the Repronex.

[KF'06]

Yes, it is very tough for me too to watch other people getting pregnant, especially unplanned pregnancies but on the other hand it's worse for me when people avoid me and hide that they are pregnant. I feel like I have some kind of contageous disease or smth. I even told my best friends, who are also trying to get pregnant, to let me know right away and not to feel guilty about it. I know it will make me sad and i will start feeling sorry for myself even more but i don't want them to avoid me because of my problems.

[Haylie]

KF- I completely agree with you, it is horrible being treated as though you are not normal and you see the look in others eyes when they tell you. I really get annoyed when people think it is best they keep it from me or that I wont be able to handle, it, I don't want to be treated with cotton wool. Although it maybe upsetting to hear of others joy, I would never show it and I would never not be happy for them. One of my friends is on her 3rd pregancy since we've ttc and this one is twins, she was really afraid of telling me and I was like please don't feel like that I'm happy for you (although I cried my eyes out after when I was on my own but it wasn't cos I was jealous but cos it just hi-lighted my empty void). That is one of the reasons we have decided to keep this cycle a secret from people, I can't be dealing with the constant questions and pity from people, although it is well meaning, it feels like an added pressure I can do without.

xx

[jenn]

Where is everyone? Having a great weekend I hope! DH is glued to the tv watching sports, so I thought I would pop in. Not much happening this weekend. Just waiting, waiting , waiting for AF. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!!