The Over 40 Crowd

[Hankinkat]

Hi everyone.
It's such a comfort to read about other over-40 women trying IVF.
I had three rounds of IUI w/lots of eggs but no pregnancy. Just finished my first IVF cycle. 16 eggs! 14 fertilized! 11 embryos! We had them genetically screened and there was not a single normal one in the batch. All had chromosomal errors (aneuploidy). So there was no transfer.
I was so optimistic and cheerful before, so certain this would work. Now I am really depressed and discouraged. Our doc says the next batch won't necessarily be 100% bad, so I think we will try IVF again, but I am not so optimistic any more. I am sure in our next meeting he'll suggest we do IVF again, but he'll probably also start putting egg donation on the horizon.
Has anyone else had poor PGD or PGS results in one cycle and then gotten better ones in another cycle? Or has anyone had really different numbers of good embryos from one cycle to the next?
When I think that egg donation might eventually be the answer, then I wonder if I can find a donor who is distantly related to me through a geneology forum. Does that sound crazy?
I am supposed to be working now but so overwhelemed by my thoughts and feelings I can't concentrate.
It would sure help to hear from some of you.
Blessings to all,
Kat

[Kat]

Hi to one Kat from another

Sorry to read about your tmt so far, what a blow after such high numbers. It is such a rollercoaster, up one minute, down the next but you are in the right place to talk to people who understand.

I don’t think you’re crazy thinking of a donor somehow related to you but I think you’d have a really difficult job finding her. I struggled with the idea of donor eggs for a long time but when I was pg it was always mine & DH's baby, no one else’s.

I can’t help with the PGD results, sorry, we didn’t get as far as doing any genetic tests although if we ever go again we would have it done; the docs think that is what caused me to lose my baby.

I am supposed to be working too but just popped in to see how the girls were doing. Nice to see you on here Jude, you and BigJ were my inspiration as far as going to IM was concerned. I would have had my baby at Kingston too but sadly it wasn’t to be.

Hi to everyone else too, I may not be posting much but I am keeping my eye on all of you!

Lots of love
Kat xx

[Hankinkat]

Kat, I'm so sorry about your loss. I've miscarried in the past (6 yrs ago) and know how devastating it is... Thanks so much for posting a reply.
Hugs from afar,
OtherKat

[teachertam]

Hello Ladies:

Kat (2): Welcome to our site. I'm sorry that you were not able to complete your IVF procedure. I had 2 IUI's, and 2 IVF's before I got pregnant on a natural cycle. It was a true miracle. Don't give up. We never went down the egg donor route, but I am definitely not opposed to it. If you carry that baby for 9 months, it is your baby. DH and I were in the process of adopting when I got pregnant. We are still planning to adopt after our baby is born.

Kat: It is good to hear from you. I hope things are going well for you.

Bev: How are you? I'm sure that your bump is growing. Don't you have a scan this week?

Anna: How are things with you? I'm sure that your scan is this week too. Please keep us informed. I bet you can't wait to tell family and friends!

Yasmina: I hope things are ok with you. We have not heard from you in a very long time.

Take care all,
Tammy

[children]

I am sorry that I have not been around for a while, I have been overwhelmed by new job, new 75-year home, new city, new supermarket, new everything. So much to do, so little time!

I am doing fine and still have not felt obvious baby kick yet. Sadly, my belly even does not show once I put cloth on. No one would know that I am carrying a baby if I won’t tell. I am anxious to show off my belly, as I am working at medical center and I see pregnant women everywhere, yet, it seems I am always the slower one for everything.

Have been to Philadelphia last month and met an old colleague of mine, he told me that he and his wife came to know my news but his wife was pissed, because they had been told that she was at pre menopause and not even ivf would help. What can I say? Doctors, whenever they can not do anything with available drugs, they announce that is because women can not produce good eggs anymore. I happen to believe in miracles, for the ones here who have been told the same thing, please do not give up so easily. If you are the same as me, read the book by Julia Indichova “Inconceivable: A Woman's Triumph over Despair and Statistics”. She had FSH at 42 when she was 42 and she was told no hope for anything anymore. She did not believe doctors and she started self-therapy and conceived naturally.

Hi Tammy, glad to know that I am right again about your baby boy. I like Andrew better. Your little Andrew will play with your little girl soon, I alwasy want a girl and a boy, now, you will have it, I am so happy for you and I am so jealous! I guess that I am having a girl, but 3D scan at 20 weeks won’t come until Oct. 4. I will report then. My Ob did not want to scan me last time when I saw him at 15 weeks. I begged and he quickly did it, but the resolution was low and we could not tell the sex of my baby.

We have not picked any names yet, I wanted to name my baby Lingling, Lili, Dingding, Dongdong, or Dingdong, but my husband did not like any of them. I like the sounds of these names. He said my name sounds like someone from Jamaca, and the names that I picked out sound like Chinese. I do not care, I just like the sound of these names. Unless he can come up with a better name soon, I cam calling my baby one of these! But having said above, if any of you are interested in naming our baby, go ahead and I may just take one of your names. Oh, I like Celestine, but that is my friend’s baby girl’s name.

Oh well, sorry not too personal to each of you, but you know that I am thinking of you!

Yasmina

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, hope everyone enjoying their weekend.

Jude, thanks for message. Many congrats on your twins.. a bit late , but heartfelt! Yes I agree, Dr Olivares is rather a dish! Thank you for your comments about Kingston, very good to hear. We are just very glad that we do not have to go back to Roehampton after all our negative experiences there! I just hope that I don't bump into one of my school governors who works in the maternity unit!

Tammy, I looked into slapped cheek syndrome as I had taught the child with it earlier in the week. It turns out that it can be rather dangerous for pg women, in rare cases causing miscarriage. The only way to find out what's happening is to have a blood test. Needless to say I hot footed it down to the drs and had one! The nurse said not to worry, most teachers have already had it ( especially one like me who has been teaching for many years!) and once you've had it once you are immune. You probably wouldn't know you have had it as the symptoms can be very mild, like feeleing a bit faint, a slight rash, feeling sick and a high temp. These can be attributed to lots of ailments. I get the reulsts next week. Hope you are Ok.

Kat (2) Hope you are Ok. Going down the egg donor route is not an easy decision to make. We talked about adoption but decided that we would try egg donor first. I really feel that this baby is ours. Good luck with your next cycle of tmt.

Hi Kat, good to see you post. How are you ?

Yasmina, hello, good to hear from you. You have been busy. Glad to see you are well and happy even if your bump isn't showing yet! Hope the scan goes well on wednesday and you can find out what flavour beanie you are having.

Hi Bev, how are you ???

As for me... off for 13 week scan tomorrow. If all well we will start telling friends and family this week!!!. Am getting excited

Hugs to all here
Anna x

[teachertam]

Hello Ladies:

Anna: I hope your test for "Slapped Cheek Syndrome" comes out negative. I'm sure it will. I'm feeling ok, but still have a few symptoms from this cold. Good luck on your 13 week scan. You will be surprised at how big your baby is getting. I have a scan on Thursday by the genetics doctor. She will be checking for any neural tube defects. I really like getting scans at her facility, as she uses a big screen to view the little guy.

Yasmina: I begged my doctor to do a 16 week scan on me and that is when we found out that we are having a boy. My little guy was not modest at all I'm sure that you do have a lot of changes right now in your life. I have not felt my baby kick either. My doctor said that is not a problem. I read that you normally feel movement from 16 - 20 weeks.

Bev: I hope you are doing well.

Take care all,
Tammy

[BevT]

Hi all, just a brief one, yes I am fine. Thankyou everyone for thinking about me.

Tammy, I have got my 20 week scan on Tuesday, so hopefully will be announcing what flavour our's is then. Really, i am secretly a bit worried that there may be signs of abnormalities and can't think past that at the moment. Hoping and praying that all will be well, as this little person is wriggling and tickling me all the time. I am sure you will feel your little one soon, they say that for second pg's you can feel them a bit earlier and can recognise the first flutters eaier than first time around. Be patient, as you know from your scan, your little guy is already very active - you will feel it soon.

Anna, wishing you "everything" for tomorrow's scan. I am excited about you telling your family and friends. I wish I could be a fly on the wall - they will all be blown away when you tell them.

Hi Yasmina, nice to hear from you. Celestine, what a lovely name. As you can't use that one, what about Serenity for your little girl? I quite like that name for my own (if we have a girl). I love names you can shorten, so I would shorten that to Senz or even Senna. Good luck with your scan on the 4th.

Anna 2nd, Bev 3rd and Yasmina 4th - what an exciting week ahead.

Hi Kat (2) and welcome. Sorry that you have had such a disappointing result from such a wonderful egg collection. I do however agree with your doctor that the next batch may include some "good" eggs. It is worth one more try with the number of eggs you have produced. My IVF attempts were very poor, never more than 2 or 3 follicles/eggs, so we turned to egg donation and thankfully we were successful first time with 5 embies left in the freezer.

I can relate to your wish for a distantly related donor, but as Anna has said, once you are pg with your donor baby, that baby is yours regardless of it's origins. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Jude, how nice to hear from someone who has already got their precious babies with them, and twins, how wonderful. I secretly wished for twins as my family would be complete in one go - however, I know from a purely practical management point of view a singleton is better for me. I bet having two is hard work, but the joy they must bring?

Hi to everyone else on here.
Will let you know what I am having (provided he/she is not too bashful) on Tuesday!

Bev xxx

[erjumper]

Hi ladies,
Still checking in on all of you regularly. I feel like you're all family. Don't have anything exciting to report. Hubby still unemployed but we're enjoying the time together and i've decided to do a travel contract in a University Hospital in Washington DC. The big inner city hospitals are paying really well right now for ICU and ER nurses because the shortage is getting worse and worse. So we're going to spend 3 months there as a change of pace and an opportunity to make some extra money then come back and hopefully try the foster care thing again. We're content though now without a baby and I don't think about very much anymore.

Tammy, Looks like I was wrong about your BOY. I was so sure it was a girl. Guess you can't name him after me now. hehehe

Anna, About the slapped cheek thing. It's more commonly called Fifth's Disease in medicine and it is a fairly common virus amongst young grade school children. It is actually one of the Parvo viruses and is dangerous to a pregnancy IF you actually get it then. It is as contagious as the common cold. Having said that....it is believed that 84% of health care professionals and teachers who work with that age group of children are immune. (just got that off a professional medical reference site I have access to)So unless you just began teaching you probably have nothing to worry about. The titres done by your MD will tell you if you've already had it. I am immune. Best of luck with your scan tomorrow. Hope you get to see the little "naughty bits". Little buggers love to put their feet in the way sometimes so you can't tell.

Keep the exciting updates coming!

Lisa

[AMck]

hi Ladies, quick update from me

Had 13 week scan yesterday and all is fab!! Saw legs, feet, hands, spine, heart etc.... cried a little!!

We have been given a rating of low risk for downs syndrome and they moved my due date forward after measuring the length of the baby. Now due 3rd April.

Anyway sorry I am in a rush, will catch up with everyone later in the week. Soooo excited now

Hugs to all here
Anna x

PS Lisa, thanks for post about slapped cheek. My dr wasn't worried about me at all as I have been teaching young children for 19 years. I know that if you have had it once then you are immune...I had a blood test last week to be on the safe side. Results due Fri.

[Kat]

Just popped in to catch up & say hi to everyone, nice to hear from you Lisa, glad you're doing OK

Anna, so lovely to see your post, glad everything looks like it's progressing well, how exciting!

Still keeping my eye on you all...

lots of love
Kat xx

[BevT]

Hi all, thought I had posted on here last night, but must have had a brainstorm. Anyway, 20 wk scan went okay yesterday, nothing untoward showed up, and as luck would have it, little bub was not shy at all. The sonographer tilted the "probe" under it's bottom, legs akimbo, and there for all to see was a little winky sticking up! So it's a boy for us too Tammy.

Now I have to start thinking of boys names!!! Loads of girls come to mind, but no boys. Oh well, any suggestions welcome, DH likes traditional names for boys, and I like them to be able to be shortened! Surname is Townsley, so it has to go with that also. Any help welcomed.

Anna, have already pm'd you, but just to say again how delighted I am for you. And already nearly 14 weeks! The weeks will fly by now. Will you find out later what flavour you are having?

Lisa, good to see you popping in. Hope all goes well for you in Washington, good luck with your foster care when you come round to that again.

Hi Kat, good to hear from you also.

Hi to everyone else too.

Bev xxx

[teachertam]

Lisa: So glad to hear from you. I'm so glad to hear that you and DH are doing well.

Anna: I'm so happy to hear that your 13 week scan went well! Now you can tell family and friends. It is so wonderful when we can actually see the baby's parts. You are due one month after me! I can't wait to see my little guy tomorrow. We have an ultrasound to make sure that there are no neural tube defects.

Bev: Congrats on your little guy!! We had an easier time with girl names as well. We are going with Andrew James for our little guy, as my DH is James.

Kat: Good to hear from you as well.

Take care all,
Tammy

[Kat]

Hi Bev

How about Steven, Jonathan, Richard, Alexander, Matthew - all traditional, can be shortened and go with your surname

How exciting!

Kat xx

[BevT]

Hi Kat, thanks for the suggestions, my DH has brothers called Steven and Matthew, and I already have a nephew called Jonathon! We did think about Alexander, but Richard I'm afraid would be shortened to "Dick" which I am not too keen on.

DH's favourite at the moment is William Joseph, but a friend put the mockers on that by retorting "Billy Jo Townsley" which hadn't occurred to us. Oh, it is such a difficult one. I personally like Zak but DH says it's too biblical! Can't decide. At least we have a bit of time to chew it over. Maybe we will plump for William and just insist that he is only called Wills or Will - not Willy!!!

Well I'm about ready for my bed, so will sign off now.

Hi to everyone else
Bev xxx