Another HPT thread...

[Pam120603]

Hi Girls,
I'm new here - been lurking for a few weeks now, this is my first post. I just had my ET on 9/21 for my first IVF. My prob: one blocked tube and high FSH level of 13.8

I'm stressin because I'm turning 38 in December and the statistics drop so dramatically at that point I'm feeling scared to reduce my chances any more than they're already reduced.

Anyway - this is 10dp3dt and I did the dreaded HPT this morning with a BFN. I don't mean to beat a dead horse here - but I am feeling so down and gloomy - how likely is it that this will turn around by Thursday?

[Jovigal]

There is still time for you to get a BFN, try not to worry (easier said than done).

[Pam120603]

thanks. I know it's not over yet, but I'm sure feeling like it is. I should've waited... been upset all day over this. SIGH

[KoshkaBuba]

Unfortunately positive results have nothing to do what you have done or what your have not done. It is just pure chance , like with any other pregnancy. Just do your best- take your progesterone and future will show. I always think about something that I don't have any control over- that I have done everything I could to make it happen. This way I will not feel guilty, because I really have done everything that I supposed to do..

[Pam120603]

Yeah, that makes sense. I know you're right. It's just hard. I just wish it were easier - for all of us. I wish I didn't have to go to work this week - I hate trying to pretend to be in a good mood when I'm not! Well, maybe it's a good thing and I'll actually start cheering up & get my mind off things. How are you holding up?

[KoshkaBuba]

I would rather be working

[tinky144]

Hi

I've come back to this thread as I read it the other day and thought "oh no" when you tested BFN, could it turn around by Thursday?!!

I test on Thursday aswell but rushed home from work in tears today because I thought/think/ i am not sure that I am spotting and did a test at 4.30pm. BFN as expected. I know this was stupid.

Feel so devastated and there is no way this can turn around by Thursday. I'm injecting heparin and have deep bruising on my stomach but did my injection this evening.

I seem to have lost all hope and feel like what if this is the one I can't bounce back from. My DH says were playing a game of averages and at some point our numbers are going to come up!

Let me know how you get on. Sorry for being the doom and gloom merchant- any positive thoughts welcome!

[KoshkaBuba]

Tinky, how long ago did you have your transfer?

[Pam120603]

Tinky,
I'm sorry that you're feeling low. I know all about the doom and gloom monster - been fighting it off all week. SIGH. And if just trying to not be a grumpy, weepy B were not enough, my Dad and my Sister are arguing and doing everything in their power to pull me into the middle of it. Keep in mind my sister is 43 years old! Like I need that right now right?

Don't lose hope - your husband is a smart man. I believe he's right about it being a numbers game. I read that a totally fertile couple in their 20's only has a 25% change of getting pg each month. Isn't that crazy? Makes me feel a little more fertile

I'm so grateful for this board - even though I only recently started posting. It's been so helpful to read about and now talk to other women who are going through the same thing. I don't think anyone truly understands just how hard it really is.

You know, if for any reason this go doesn't work for us - we'll just have to try again - that's all right? Go back through and read some threads of some of the women here who tested - before the beta and ended up pg and who had a couple of upsets and then finally got their BFP - it cheered me up and did give me hope.

Hang in there! I'm going to do the test of Friday. I will post the result and will be crossing my fingers for you on Thursday!!

[tinky144]

I had my transfer on the 22nd September.
I am bleeding more today.
I've had this twice before and was pregnant up to 7 weeks and less the second time around.
I think I would prefer a negative with a normal bleed rather than a positive with a bleed.

I seem to have lost all hope today and thanks for the advice. I am reading threads which have kept me aloft-just!

[Pam120603]

Have you called your doctor?
I'm sorry you're feeling hopeless!

It's not over til it's over - anything can happen.

What I keep telling myself is that the good thing is all the wondering and waiting will be over Friday, so at least I'll know where to go from there instead of being in this state of limbo.

Everthing will be ok. I'll be sending out positive thoughts for you and praying for you tommorow that you will hear nothing but great news.

[Pam120603]

Well, finally tested today. BFN.

I expected it, not only because of my HPT ealier, but last night I started to spot. Noticed it right before I went to bed and I guess I hoped it would magically disappear by the morning, but this morning was still spotting.

We've decided we will try again, but honestly - I am going to take at least a month break. Emotionally I need it. Can probably handle the physical part but the emotional part is what's worse.

Well, I'm going to go to bed - hopefully I'll feel better tommorow.

[Moritsha]

Hi ladies,
Pam - I also had high levels. Went from 4. something to 9. something then 13 . I had my transfer done on the WEd. The following Sat (6 days before my blood test i did a HPT. It was neg. Then on the Tues i tried again and we were in shock - it was +++. Unfortunately it was very short lived. Bled a wee bit the day after BT then on the Sun had a heavy period. Absolutely gutted. I'm sorry you didn't get a +. Take care.

Tinky - I'm sorry about your losses. I'm so glad i didn't lose the baby much further on. Anytime is awful but thankfully i was very early. I didn't come on this site for a while after the loss. But time is a great healer. My nurse said not to give up coz they know i can get pregnant. Good luck.

Paula x

[Pam120603]

Hi Mortisha,
Thanks for writing, I appreciate it. I'm really sorry that happened that way for you too. It had to be even worse feeling the high of getting a ++ and then to go through that... I know that had to hurt a lot.

Yeah, I'm feeling really low and although my DH and I have agreed to continue trying, I'm so worried that we'll continue to try and spend thousands of dollars and it will never happen. I know I should be thinking positively - but it's hard when you feel like you've done everything right... even with my high FSH - I only got three eggs, but 2 of them were grade A 8 cell - so why didn't they stick? the third one wasn't bad - they transfered all 3.

I wish I hadn't told so many people at work. Everyone is routing for me - but now tommorow I'm going to have to tell everyone the bad news which is going to be hard on me to say over and over.. should've kept it to my self darn it!

That's great - at least you know that it CAN work right? there's hope there and hopefully it will work for all of us on this board. I know I feel, and I'm sure that every girl here must've never imagined we;d have difficulty in this area. It really sucks.

Tinky - I hope you're ok. Haven't seen a post from you since last week and am thinking of you.

[suzhan]

Pam - I'm a little late in chiming in here, but wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel about the age issue. I turned 38 this year (1 month after my 8-week m/c.) It feels like I'm racing against time, which I know is absolutely not helping me lower my stress level. One thing I will say is that my RE assured me that turning 38 was not a 'cliff'. Meaning, it's not like the day you turn 38 your chances are immediately lower than the day before. It's more like a steady hill downward and each month closer to 40 makes it more difficult. But, you're not even 38 yet, so keep your head high. I'm thinking we 38 year-olds can still do it!

Best of luck to you and DH....

- Suzhan