Carolyn, thanks for sending sticky vibes my way! I think it's great that you are going to start your next cycle of IVF earlier than planned. I'm sure you will feel better knowing that you are close to trying again.
I had lunch yesterday with two friends from nursing school. They both have newborns, one is 4 weeks, the other 6 weeks old. It was wonderful to hold the babies and I am very happy for them but it was a little sad. We were all ttc at the same time and their babies are here and I'm still waiting. But hopefully I will be holding my own baby next summer.
I'm off to work tonight and Friday night, so I probably won't post again until after the ET. We have a wireless network in the house, so I can use my laptop in bed. (DH is a computer geek!)
April/May Buddies??
Laura- Those embies are in great shape! We’ll be thinking of you tomorrow morning. Take it easy after to let the embies get cozy in your belly. How exciting!!! Let us know how everything goes after the ET. Have you discussed how many you’ll be transfering?It’s not easy being around friends with newborns- it will be your turn soon. I’m sending you tons of babydust and sticky vibes as well!
Em- Thanks for the hug that is really sweet .When I read about your Dad’s decision I was do proud of him and really happy for you. It won’t be easy, he’ll have relapses but he’ll get through it with alot of support and great examples like Jackie’s to help him get through it. How are you feeling?
Jackie- I am always happy and proud to hear you quit smoking. It’s fantastic to have overcome an incredible challenge as such. My mom quit smoking the night before her first Chemo treatment- he smoked two packs –one cig after another and put out each cigarette in a water glass in front of her. It was a dramatic way of doing it. But she had tried quitting many times within ten years and that’s what worked for her. She did have a few relapses but she chose to smoke cigars instead because she knew she wouldn’t enjoy it as much. Like you, it takes great discipline and self-control. I know what you mean about the twinges and cramps- the first month I thought I was getting my period everyday & I was always checking the toilet paper for bleeding- I think its normal to be worried. What helped me was that I would talk to the baby in my thoughts to get comfortable in my belly.I know they say its the ligaments stretching but it made me feel better. How was the 1st appt. at the vet?
Carolyn- You have a great plan! I think you going for another IVF b4 Xmas – is a great idea. You sound very ready and with accu’s help it will be even better and it will relieve some pressure of your baby dancing since you know you have a solid plan. That’s wonderful to hear your DH quit smoking as well. Good for him- you must have been so proud of him.
Vero-How are you doing?
Well, I’m off to do some more web design work for today…
Have a good weekend !!
Hugs!!
Dania
Em- Thanks for the hug that is really sweet .When I read about your Dad’s decision I was do proud of him and really happy for you. It won’t be easy, he’ll have relapses but he’ll get through it with alot of support and great examples like Jackie’s to help him get through it. How are you feeling?
Jackie- I am always happy and proud to hear you quit smoking. It’s fantastic to have overcome an incredible challenge as such. My mom quit smoking the night before her first Chemo treatment- he smoked two packs –one cig after another and put out each cigarette in a water glass in front of her. It was a dramatic way of doing it. But she had tried quitting many times within ten years and that’s what worked for her. She did have a few relapses but she chose to smoke cigars instead because she knew she wouldn’t enjoy it as much. Like you, it takes great discipline and self-control. I know what you mean about the twinges and cramps- the first month I thought I was getting my period everyday & I was always checking the toilet paper for bleeding- I think its normal to be worried. What helped me was that I would talk to the baby in my thoughts to get comfortable in my belly.I know they say its the ligaments stretching but it made me feel better. How was the 1st appt. at the vet?
Carolyn- You have a great plan! I think you going for another IVF b4 Xmas – is a great idea. You sound very ready and with accu’s help it will be even better and it will relieve some pressure of your baby dancing since you know you have a solid plan. That’s wonderful to hear your DH quit smoking as well. Good for him- you must have been so proud of him.
Vero-How are you doing?
Well, I’m off to do some more web design work for today…
Have a good weekend !!
Hugs!!
Dania
Laura
Hope that your ET tomorrow goes really well for you.
By this time tomorrow, the little ones will be stuggling in at Chez Laura.
Lots of Babydust to you for tomorrow.
Love
Carolyn xxx
Em - what news on starting on the stimmies?
Vero - hope that AF has not been too rough on you this month
Jackie & Dania - Hope that our mums in waiting will have a really nice weekend
Hope that your ET tomorrow goes really well for you.
By this time tomorrow, the little ones will be stuggling in at Chez Laura.
Lots of Babydust to you for tomorrow.
Love
Carolyn xxx
Em - what news on starting on the stimmies?
Vero - hope that AF has not been too rough on you this month
Jackie & Dania - Hope that our mums in waiting will have a really nice weekend
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Today has been so terrible. When we got to the hospital this morning, the embriologist brought in a picture of our best two embryos. They looked absolutely terrible! They were small and the cells were all mushed together. The difference from our embryos last time was dramatic.
I imediately started to cry before she even started to talk. She told us that because we were doing this ET at 9:00 instead of 12:00 like last time, the embryos wouldn't look quite as developed as before. So I asked her what grade they were. She said they were both grade D. Last time we had two B's. There is no way that a couple of hours is going to turn grade D embryos into B's. I told her we wanted to transfer 3 embryos. She said we had one other that was still alive but doing even worse than these. I told her to transfer it anyway, as it certainly wasn't good enough to freeze.
When she left I just started to sob and sob. I can't believe after all the meds, the hyperstimulation, the pain, the bruises, and then we end up with such poor quality embryos. It is so terribly unfair.
My doctor came in and told us "not to worry so much, as attitude is important." I wanted to smack him. Luckily the transfer went really well, the full bladder made a difference.
They gave me a double dose of Valium because I was hysterical, so I've been sleeping since I got home. Now that I'm awake, I just can't believe this happened. I know miracles happen and people get pregnant with bad quality embryos but those are the exceptions. My husband said we will wait and see what happens with this, but be ready with plan B.
My heart hurts. I tried so hard this time and to have it end up like this is devasting.
Laura
I imediately started to cry before she even started to talk. She told us that because we were doing this ET at 9:00 instead of 12:00 like last time, the embryos wouldn't look quite as developed as before. So I asked her what grade they were. She said they were both grade D. Last time we had two B's. There is no way that a couple of hours is going to turn grade D embryos into B's. I told her we wanted to transfer 3 embryos. She said we had one other that was still alive but doing even worse than these. I told her to transfer it anyway, as it certainly wasn't good enough to freeze.
When she left I just started to sob and sob. I can't believe after all the meds, the hyperstimulation, the pain, the bruises, and then we end up with such poor quality embryos. It is so terribly unfair.
My doctor came in and told us "not to worry so much, as attitude is important." I wanted to smack him. Luckily the transfer went really well, the full bladder made a difference.
They gave me a double dose of Valium because I was hysterical, so I've been sleeping since I got home. Now that I'm awake, I just can't believe this happened. I know miracles happen and people get pregnant with bad quality embryos but those are the exceptions. My husband said we will wait and see what happens with this, but be ready with plan B.
My heart hurts. I tried so hard this time and to have it end up like this is devasting.
Laura
Me 38, DH 52
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
[img]http://b2.lilypie.com/midEm5.png[/img]
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
[img]http://b2.lilypie.com/midEm5.png[/img]
-
AuntyPebbles
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 2382
- Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 6:12 pm
- Location: New York
- Contact:
Hey lady's sorry to crash your thread but i had to post to Laura...aww im so sorry but please dont give up your desciption of your embies sounds just like my friends hers where so bad they didnt want to do transfer at all ..she like you had 2 very poor ones and one no hoper...she has twin girls i promise im not making this up ...and think last cycle i too had 4 beautiful embies almost perfect i got nothing from it ... i think a little fragging really helps the messy ones seem to be extra sticky... i will be praying hard for you
hugs Aunty
hugs Aunty
Me 42 ,DH 45 ...3 IVF's BFN
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)
Now on Face Book pm me for information..
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)
Now on Face Book pm me for information..
Dear dear Laura,
please do not give up. You have been so wonderfully strong and calm throughout this whole time. And it is so true what Auntie is saying. We do not really know hwat happens with the embryos once they are inside us - women are transfered beautiful grade A embryos but they don't stick, out of which reason ever. Maybe these are meant to stick! Please do not give up your hope. Oh, I would have felt like smacking that doctor too. What does he know. But eventually he is right, the attitude and hope and believe is so important. Give your little ones a chance. I am thinking of you and whishing you all the luck and strength in the world. We aren't meant to know what embryos look like, and every woman who gets pregnant naturally doesn't.
I am thinking of you, Love, Veronika
please do not give up. You have been so wonderfully strong and calm throughout this whole time. And it is so true what Auntie is saying. We do not really know hwat happens with the embryos once they are inside us - women are transfered beautiful grade A embryos but they don't stick, out of which reason ever. Maybe these are meant to stick! Please do not give up your hope. Oh, I would have felt like smacking that doctor too. What does he know. But eventually he is right, the attitude and hope and believe is so important. Give your little ones a chance. I am thinking of you and whishing you all the luck and strength in the world. We aren't meant to know what embryos look like, and every woman who gets pregnant naturally doesn't.
I am thinking of you, Love, Veronika
me: 31, DH: 43
TTC: 2.5 years
unexplained infertility
IVF#1 April/May 2006: BFN
endo-surgery July 2006, no endo after all
TTC: 2.5 years
unexplained infertility
IVF#1 April/May 2006: BFN
endo-surgery July 2006, no endo after all
Dear Laura
I was so very very sorry when I read your post this morning hun. You had done so well this cycle and everything had been going so great that I simply cannot believe that this has happened to you. You are right - this is all so desperately unfair.
However, as Auntie and Vero have said, we just don't know what will happen when they are inside us. When I got my BFN using the best 2 that I had and he suggested FET I said what is the dam point. If they are worse then how could they possibly deliver a BFP in the future. Consultant said that with all the grading they do the best that they can but if they really knew which ones would stay then they would have way better success rates than they do. They just don't know.
I know how hard this is but you must try to be strong. They are now back inside you. Nobody has told them that they are quality D. They are back where they belong and I am sure they will be doing their best for you & dh.
Look the consultants told Jackie not even to try after what she had been through. She tried and look what happened. They are fantastic people to be giving us a chance but they certainly do not know everything.
We are here for you & we are really willing all 3 little beanies to hang on in there. Feel free to come here and rant or be sad. That is what these message boards are for. We have all be through so much together already.
Please try to stay strong and calm and positive in the midst of all the hurt and pain.
Sending lots and lots of love and sticky vibes to you. May be these are real fighters so you have to give them the best possible chance.
Lots of Love
Carolyn xxx
I was so very very sorry when I read your post this morning hun. You had done so well this cycle and everything had been going so great that I simply cannot believe that this has happened to you. You are right - this is all so desperately unfair.
However, as Auntie and Vero have said, we just don't know what will happen when they are inside us. When I got my BFN using the best 2 that I had and he suggested FET I said what is the dam point. If they are worse then how could they possibly deliver a BFP in the future. Consultant said that with all the grading they do the best that they can but if they really knew which ones would stay then they would have way better success rates than they do. They just don't know.
I know how hard this is but you must try to be strong. They are now back inside you. Nobody has told them that they are quality D. They are back where they belong and I am sure they will be doing their best for you & dh.
Look the consultants told Jackie not even to try after what she had been through. She tried and look what happened. They are fantastic people to be giving us a chance but they certainly do not know everything.
We are here for you & we are really willing all 3 little beanies to hang on in there. Feel free to come here and rant or be sad. That is what these message boards are for. We have all be through so much together already.
Please try to stay strong and calm and positive in the midst of all the hurt and pain.
Sending lots and lots of love and sticky vibes to you. May be these are real fighters so you have to give them the best possible chance.
Lots of Love
Carolyn xxx
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Carolyn, Veronika, Aunty,
Thank you all for your kind words of support. I am feeling a little better today. It was just such a shock. They told me on Thursday I had 4 excellent and 3 good embryos. I don't understand how two days later all I had were two grade D and one F.
Regardless of why, it has happened, so I'm just trying to make the best of it. I am finding it harder to stay on bedrest when I feel like it is hopeless, but I keep telling myself I have to give these 3 guys the best chance possible.
Laura
Thank you all for your kind words of support. I am feeling a little better today. It was just such a shock. They told me on Thursday I had 4 excellent and 3 good embryos. I don't understand how two days later all I had were two grade D and one F.
Regardless of why, it has happened, so I'm just trying to make the best of it. I am finding it harder to stay on bedrest when I feel like it is hopeless, but I keep telling myself I have to give these 3 guys the best chance possible.
Laura
Me 38, DH 52
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
[img]http://b2.lilypie.com/midEm5.png[/img]
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
[img]http://b2.lilypie.com/midEm5.png[/img]
Laura,
I am so sorry that you have had such a terrible time! As Carolyn said, your precious 3 embies don't know that they are not perfect....who is? Love them and yourself and they will do their best for you.
I just saw your ticker...you test in 7 days? Thats so quick! Does that make it monday the 9th Oct?
Carolyn - I am so pleased that you ae getting started again. I have been quietly worrying for you and I feel better that you are going to take matters into your own hands. Good that your DH is ready too.
______________________________________________________
I am ok. DH has been so stressed with work and my downers have made me a little grumpy, so we had a massive argument on friday morning which made me wonder if we would make it. But we are ok and we spent the whole weekend doing nice relaxing things together, so we are united again.
I start my stimms on wed (4th) and then have bloods on sun (8th) and my first scan on mon (9th). I can't wait to get the follies growing. I haven't looked yet as I guess there will be nothing to see yet. Time has just seemed to drag.
I will update my ticker to keep you all on track.
Em
I am so sorry that you have had such a terrible time! As Carolyn said, your precious 3 embies don't know that they are not perfect....who is? Love them and yourself and they will do their best for you.
I just saw your ticker...you test in 7 days? Thats so quick! Does that make it monday the 9th Oct?
Carolyn - I am so pleased that you ae getting started again. I have been quietly worrying for you and I feel better that you are going to take matters into your own hands. Good that your DH is ready too.
______________________________________________________
I am ok. DH has been so stressed with work and my downers have made me a little grumpy, so we had a massive argument on friday morning which made me wonder if we would make it. But we are ok and we spent the whole weekend doing nice relaxing things together, so we are united again.
I start my stimms on wed (4th) and then have bloods on sun (8th) and my first scan on mon (9th). I can't wait to get the follies growing. I haven't looked yet as I guess there will be nothing to see yet. Time has just seemed to drag.
I will update my ticker to keep you all on track.
Em
TTC 5yrs - Unexplained Infertility
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08
3xIUI's (April, June & Aug 06) - BFN,s
1st IVF - Oct 06 - Jasper & Finlay born 07/06/07
Natural preg - Addison Grace born 15/10/08
Hello laides
I am so sorry I have been gone. With my mom here I did not want to miss a moment with her.. She had to leave this morning and I cried the whole way back to work..I feel so sad when she leaves it just breaks my heart..
Laura Oh honey I am so sorry you have had such a rough time but I have to go with what everyone has said and your babies will stick perfectly this time.. I heard Ghost tell a story about a fragmented little embie that ended up being beautiful by day 5.. Just think your little embies are back with you and you will help to grow them into beautiful little babies.. How are you doing are you feeling any better.I have to belive your doctor would be honest with you and I really think if he feels you cant tell that early than he must be right. I know it does not make this any better but we are all sending you hugs and prayers..Your testing date will be here soon and your BFP too...
Em
I am sorry you and DH had a bad time of it.. I know DH and I did the same thing.. I know they care and love us but sometimes I really dont think they get how emotionally taxing all of this is.. Its good that you two took some time for eachother and relaxed a bit.. I forgot that you will be able to check and scan yourself.. That is so exciting as you will be able to see all your progress.. How cool will that be.. Your time is almost here honey and soon a BFP....
Carolyn
Its so good that you made the plan with the IVF.. I think you are right and this will take pressure off the natural thing.. I still think the natural thing will work for you and maybe this will give you a bit of "plan B" even though you wont need it.. Your acc person sounds so wonderful and kind and besides he's not bad too look at
its so great that you have found him...
Vero
Hi honey how are you doing? How is the acc going? Has your acc person ever talked about mugworts (spelling
) my acc person said we would use it in my ovulation cylcle but we never got to it.. I guess they burn these things on your tummy.. Your tummy does not burn (ok I really dont know what it is but it sounded so interesting) I was also thinking about your dear sweet DH has he ever thought about going to acc to help with the quitting smoking? That may help him get quitting quicker...Thinking of you you honey..
Dania
I have to say again I just love your ticker.. It makes me so happy.. How are you feeling? Have you bought a lot yet? Do you know nursery themes yet? Thank you for the help with the pulling type pain.. I know a lot of it is in my head as when I am busy I dont get them or dont even think of them.. I just need to stay busy I guess...Thinking of you and your sweet baby...
For me not much is new.. I was released from my IVF doc and my first regular doctor appointment is the 17th (with the nurses) and the 19th for another scan.. I still get nervous but I think like Dania said maybe I will start talking to the baby more so he/she is very comfortable....I have missed you all and please know I am thinking about you..
love and hugs
Jackie
I am so sorry I have been gone. With my mom here I did not want to miss a moment with her.. She had to leave this morning and I cried the whole way back to work..I feel so sad when she leaves it just breaks my heart..
Laura Oh honey I am so sorry you have had such a rough time but I have to go with what everyone has said and your babies will stick perfectly this time.. I heard Ghost tell a story about a fragmented little embie that ended up being beautiful by day 5.. Just think your little embies are back with you and you will help to grow them into beautiful little babies.. How are you doing are you feeling any better.I have to belive your doctor would be honest with you and I really think if he feels you cant tell that early than he must be right. I know it does not make this any better but we are all sending you hugs and prayers..Your testing date will be here soon and your BFP too...
Em
I am sorry you and DH had a bad time of it.. I know DH and I did the same thing.. I know they care and love us but sometimes I really dont think they get how emotionally taxing all of this is.. Its good that you two took some time for eachother and relaxed a bit.. I forgot that you will be able to check and scan yourself.. That is so exciting as you will be able to see all your progress.. How cool will that be.. Your time is almost here honey and soon a BFP....
Carolyn
Its so good that you made the plan with the IVF.. I think you are right and this will take pressure off the natural thing.. I still think the natural thing will work for you and maybe this will give you a bit of "plan B" even though you wont need it.. Your acc person sounds so wonderful and kind and besides he's not bad too look at
its so great that you have found him...Vero
Hi honey how are you doing? How is the acc going? Has your acc person ever talked about mugworts (spelling
) my acc person said we would use it in my ovulation cylcle but we never got to it.. I guess they burn these things on your tummy.. Your tummy does not burn (ok I really dont know what it is but it sounded so interesting) I was also thinking about your dear sweet DH has he ever thought about going to acc to help with the quitting smoking? That may help him get quitting quicker...Thinking of you you honey..Dania
I have to say again I just love your ticker.. It makes me so happy.. How are you feeling? Have you bought a lot yet? Do you know nursery themes yet? Thank you for the help with the pulling type pain.. I know a lot of it is in my head as when I am busy I dont get them or dont even think of them.. I just need to stay busy I guess...Thinking of you and your sweet baby...
For me not much is new.. I was released from my IVF doc and my first regular doctor appointment is the 17th (with the nurses) and the 19th for another scan.. I still get nervous but I think like Dania said maybe I will start talking to the baby more so he/she is very comfortable....I have missed you all and please know I am thinking about you..
love and hugs
Jackie
me 34 DH 34 1st ivf 06/06 + lost at 5 weeks
Natural BFP 09/06 by the grace of GOD
Kennedy arrived 05/2007 and we are loving every moment...
Natural BFP 09/06 by the grace of GOD
Kennedy arrived 05/2007 and we are loving every moment...
Hello Ladies
Not so Happy Monday for me I'm afraid.
Dh and I had a huge (and I mean massive) row last night over baby dancing. I think that I was pressuring him and he was knackered as he'd been on the golf course. Well it all kicked off. Guess that I feel that I am doing so much to try to make it work that he hardly needs to do anything at all and cannot even manage that. I was so bloody angry and upset.
Well I ended up in floods of tears on the sofa for hours. I was totally hysterical. Guess that I had kept it in for so long - the failed cycle, the two ops, not being able to see the consultant fo another month, giving up my job, giving up booze etc etc. Then I went to the spare room. I hardly slept at all. I kept thinking what was the point of the op and all the recovery if we cannot even manage it naturally. I might as well have gone to ivf again and I could have done another cycle by now.
We talked a little this morning before he went out but he does not seem to know why I am so upset about it all. Think that he just thinks - well there is next month...................I feel like I am running out of time and not sure how much longer I can keep going with all this stuff.
I have a cold which is not helping but I don't think that I have felt this low since we started this whole process a year ago. I feel so sad and very alone.
Laura - have thought of your little ones over the weekend and prayed that they are fighting for you. Try to stay positive hun. Try to take it easy when you can
Jackie - Glad that you had a lovely time with your Mom before she had to leave you. Being transferred to your regular dr/nurse must be exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. My frend who got pregnant with twins on her 5th ivf attempt said that she found the fact that you were not having such regular scans so weird after all the medical attention during the cycle. She lost one of her twins but is now at week 15 with her little fighter and all seems to be going really well for her.
Em - was sorry to see that you had a row too with your dh but pleased that you have been able to make it up over the weekend. The down reggie does make you quite moody. Stimmies soon which will feel different for you. That is great that you will be able to scan yourself too and see exactly what is going on. How cool!
Vero - any idea yet what your plans are for doing an iui or ivf? Think that Jackie's idea of acu or I have heard hypnotherapy to help quit smoking for your dh is worth considering.
Dania - Hope that you and little bump are feeling on top of the world
Without you I would go even more insane than I feel right now. Sorry to pour doom and gloom on the thread but I really have nowhere else to go right now and I know that you'll understand how I feel.
Love to you all.
Carolyn xxx
Not so Happy Monday for me I'm afraid.
Dh and I had a huge (and I mean massive) row last night over baby dancing. I think that I was pressuring him and he was knackered as he'd been on the golf course. Well it all kicked off. Guess that I feel that I am doing so much to try to make it work that he hardly needs to do anything at all and cannot even manage that. I was so bloody angry and upset.
Well I ended up in floods of tears on the sofa for hours. I was totally hysterical. Guess that I had kept it in for so long - the failed cycle, the two ops, not being able to see the consultant fo another month, giving up my job, giving up booze etc etc. Then I went to the spare room. I hardly slept at all. I kept thinking what was the point of the op and all the recovery if we cannot even manage it naturally. I might as well have gone to ivf again and I could have done another cycle by now.
We talked a little this morning before he went out but he does not seem to know why I am so upset about it all. Think that he just thinks - well there is next month...................I feel like I am running out of time and not sure how much longer I can keep going with all this stuff.
I have a cold which is not helping but I don't think that I have felt this low since we started this whole process a year ago. I feel so sad and very alone.
Laura - have thought of your little ones over the weekend and prayed that they are fighting for you. Try to stay positive hun. Try to take it easy when you can
Jackie - Glad that you had a lovely time with your Mom before she had to leave you. Being transferred to your regular dr/nurse must be exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. My frend who got pregnant with twins on her 5th ivf attempt said that she found the fact that you were not having such regular scans so weird after all the medical attention during the cycle. She lost one of her twins but is now at week 15 with her little fighter and all seems to be going really well for her.
Em - was sorry to see that you had a row too with your dh but pleased that you have been able to make it up over the weekend. The down reggie does make you quite moody. Stimmies soon which will feel different for you. That is great that you will be able to scan yourself too and see exactly what is going on. How cool!
Vero - any idea yet what your plans are for doing an iui or ivf? Think that Jackie's idea of acu or I have heard hypnotherapy to help quit smoking for your dh is worth considering.
Dania - Hope that you and little bump are feeling on top of the world
Without you I would go even more insane than I feel right now. Sorry to pour doom and gloom on the thread but I really have nowhere else to go right now and I know that you'll understand how I feel.
Love to you all.
Carolyn xxx
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
I just want to quickly drop in before rushing off to a meeting.
Carolyn,
I am so sorry to hear about your row with DH. This is the kind of trouble my DH and I have had for the past years as well. I was often ready to walk out the door and call a friend of mine to "become my baby's father" in these moments, because I just couldn't stand the thought of letting pass a month - just for nothing. Quite a few nights spend in our guest room as well.
I don't know what to do about this. Probably moving on to IVF is really what can safe you best. Because we are putting so much pressure on our DHs, and they are willing to do a lot to make things work, but I guess they hate it if we want to force them to function. And I am afraid that when pressuring too much I will destroy his wanting this whole thing for longer than just a few days.
I truly hope your DH will be able to understand the intensity of your feelings and pressure when he has calmed down his anger.
For us it now works that we "function" when necessary, even though it is not always the most pleasant experience
But it took the past years to get to this point of mutual understanding and willingness, and IVF was really a great relief in that sense.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with this problem!
I'll be coming back after my meeting. Sending all you ladies many hugs,
Vero
Carolyn,
I am so sorry to hear about your row with DH. This is the kind of trouble my DH and I have had for the past years as well. I was often ready to walk out the door and call a friend of mine to "become my baby's father" in these moments, because I just couldn't stand the thought of letting pass a month - just for nothing. Quite a few nights spend in our guest room as well.
I don't know what to do about this. Probably moving on to IVF is really what can safe you best. Because we are putting so much pressure on our DHs, and they are willing to do a lot to make things work, but I guess they hate it if we want to force them to function. And I am afraid that when pressuring too much I will destroy his wanting this whole thing for longer than just a few days.
I truly hope your DH will be able to understand the intensity of your feelings and pressure when he has calmed down his anger.
For us it now works that we "function" when necessary, even though it is not always the most pleasant experience
But it took the past years to get to this point of mutual understanding and willingness, and IVF was really a great relief in that sense.I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with this problem!
I'll be coming back after my meeting. Sending all you ladies many hugs,
Vero
me: 31, DH: 43
TTC: 2.5 years
unexplained infertility
IVF#1 April/May 2006: BFN
endo-surgery July 2006, no endo after all
TTC: 2.5 years
unexplained infertility
IVF#1 April/May 2006: BFN
endo-surgery July 2006, no endo after all
Dear Vero
Thank you so much for being around when I needed help/support. It helps so much to know that it is not just me/us.
Things have calmed down a little - we are speaking to each other a bit which is some progress!
Love & hugs
Carolyn xxx
Thank you so much for being around when I needed help/support. It helps so much to know that it is not just me/us.
Things have calmed down a little - we are speaking to each other a bit which is some progress!
Love & hugs
Carolyn xxx
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Carolyn-
Sweetie, I am so, so sorry you had such a terrible fight. I know how you feel about running out of time. At our age, we don't have years and years to keep trying, so every month feels so important.
You are under so much stress right now. You had a really important job with a lot of responsibility. I'm sure that it gave you a lot of satisfaction and made you feel accomplished and successful. Losing that, even voluntarily, is a big loss. You had a failed IVF cycle. You had major abdominal surgery. Now you are back to the stress of a natural 2ww every month. It is no wonder you had a major meltdown.
I'm sure your DH is feeling the stress too. I've found that most men express their stress through anger, rather than crying it out like we do. Hopefully soon he will be in a place where he can talk about how he is feeling and try to understand the intensity of your feelings.
Please let us know how you are doing. I wish I could come and we could have a nice cry together!
I am trying not to feel discouraged but last time I had lots of cramping after the transfer, but nothing this time. Since I had OHSS, the doctor told me not to start the progesterone shots last week. I am to start them tonight at 1/2 ml instead of the full 1 ml. Maybe my butt won't be as sore with only half the dose!
Laura
Sweetie, I am so, so sorry you had such a terrible fight. I know how you feel about running out of time. At our age, we don't have years and years to keep trying, so every month feels so important.
You are under so much stress right now. You had a really important job with a lot of responsibility. I'm sure that it gave you a lot of satisfaction and made you feel accomplished and successful. Losing that, even voluntarily, is a big loss. You had a failed IVF cycle. You had major abdominal surgery. Now you are back to the stress of a natural 2ww every month. It is no wonder you had a major meltdown.
I'm sure your DH is feeling the stress too. I've found that most men express their stress through anger, rather than crying it out like we do. Hopefully soon he will be in a place where he can talk about how he is feeling and try to understand the intensity of your feelings.
Please let us know how you are doing. I wish I could come and we could have a nice cry together!
I am trying not to feel discouraged but last time I had lots of cramping after the transfer, but nothing this time. Since I had OHSS, the doctor told me not to start the progesterone shots last week. I am to start them tonight at 1/2 ml instead of the full 1 ml. Maybe my butt won't be as sore with only half the dose!
Laura
Me 38, DH 52
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
[img]http://b2.lilypie.com/midEm5.png[/img]
1st IVF 5/06- BFP m/c
2nd IVF 9/06- BFP identical twin boys!!
[img]http://b2.lilypie.com/midEm5.png[/img]
Carolyn honey you are not alone in this. Last IVF one night I was so wound up just with all my worries and thoughts and DH said the wrong thing and I blew and than he blew and the fact that we were fighting made it worse.. I went downstairs and sobbed and worse yet he just stayed upstairs.. I think like everyone has said you have done so much with your job and how stressful it was and all you are doing to try to make this (baby making) as good as it can be and its hard and stressful. Your DH loves you so very much I think they just don't get it sometimes. My DH would turn to me and say "it will work dont stress" I know he was trying to help but at the time I wanted to scream.. I am glad you are both talking just try to give eachother a little bit of space and please honey dont be so hard on yourself. You and DH will get through this together...
Laura
With all you have had go on this cylce the OHSS and all your body is going to respond differently.. Try not to worry.. Rub your belly and just pray.. We are all here praying with you and its going to be great..
Love and hugs
Jackie
Laura
With all you have had go on this cylce the OHSS and all your body is going to respond differently.. Try not to worry.. Rub your belly and just pray.. We are all here praying with you and its going to be great..
Love and hugs
Jackie
me 34 DH 34 1st ivf 06/06 + lost at 5 weeks
Natural BFP 09/06 by the grace of GOD
Kennedy arrived 05/2007 and we are loving every moment...
Natural BFP 09/06 by the grace of GOD
Kennedy arrived 05/2007 and we are loving every moment...