Afternoon Ladies (this is a long one - so go and make urselves a cuppa lol)
First off let me apologise for keeping u all in suspenders about my follow up appointment, DH and i had the day off, and time for ourselves to discuss thinigs properly, and after all the discussions that we had, i was absolutley shattered and had an early night last night - soz.
Basically the clinic told us what we KNEW we would hear - our embies wernt of great quality
both at a 2cell grade 1 and a 2cell grade 2. As most of u know, we had 12 eggs, but decided to only fertalize 2 because we didnt want to make the decision of letting our other embies perish- should this have worked first time. We knew of the risk involved in this, and knew that if it didnt work, we would have to go thru the whole process again.
The clinic DR on duty was VERY good, she explained everything to us and was very sympathetic and understanding - which i feel we didnt really have the last time. I know some of u ladies may not agree with our decision to fertalize just 2 eggs, but it was somethinig that we both agreed on at the time. Obvisouly now having gone thru the treatment, the ups and downs that it brings, we have decided to fertalize all eggs, so that we can have a choice of embies.
But .......
We still have issues about this, and are still thinking things over. The clinic have informed us that they only freeze grade 1 embies (their grading is 1 - 4, 1 being the best and so on). I need ur advise and help on this one guys. We are scared shitless of having lets say - 10 eggs (as i had 12 the last time) and say 8 fertalize, the best 2 are put back - but only 3 are at a grade 1 for freezing - if the other 3 that are left are say 8/16 cell but of a grade 2 they will dispose of them - but yet if that was all i had, they would put them back inside me and i would have a good chance of getting a BFP - so if they were good enuff to put back, WHY arnet they good enuff to freeze - i understand that some dont make it, but one might - surley theres that chance that we will be throwing away a viable embie that could have gone on to have a BFP - i dont think i can do that to my embies
We have asked the clinic who are taking it to the next board meeting, that if we do get a grade 2 that they freeze them anyway, we know of the risks that it might not make it, but the sinerio is 'just in case' - I might have that 1 miracle - who knows. Whats the harm in freezing them - even if they know they wont make it, it will make DH and i feel better about the chances we gave them. I cant live with the fact that we would leave maybe 3 16cell grade 2 babies to perrish in a dish,i would rather let nature take its course after the freeze, at least then knowing in my heart of hearts that i did my best i could for my embie, if they perish after the freeze (which we have been informed that they proberly would) then nature took its course, as harsh as this might sound, but i dint leave my embie in a dish to persih alone (i cant help the way i feel about this guys, i dont think nothing can change my mind on it but ur thoughts would be 100% appreciated and i wont be offended wotsoever with ur response)
Im sorry if this upsets some of u ladies and pheraps most of u are screaming at the screen right now - but its something that DH and I beleive in VERY strongly.
If the clinic say no, then im afraid the only other way we can go ahead and try again, is to just have 2 eggs fertalized again, and cross our fingers -
The clinic and the DR is fighting our case for us at the next board meeting, but the next meeting with the board isnt untill Nov 16th - so we prob wont know untill then what is happening - we have however decided that IF we go ahead with another cycle, that i wont start down regging untill my AF has arrived in Jan, the clinic is shut over the xmas period so it was better in the long run to wait.
Sorry if this posting isnt what u wanted to hear ladies, i know that ur rooting for us so much, we are rooting too - but i hope u can understand our issues, and i so hope i havent offended any of u.
Love as always,
Becky Xxx
P.S .... I will personalise later but love to u all Xxxxxx
m/c @ 8 wks 
For GHOST our online resource for all stupid questions we either are to scared to ask or forget to ask 
