April/May Buddies??

DaniaBB · Post by **DaniaBB** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:37 pm

Em- I think you are right that you need to focus on yourself right now, but your DH probably couldn’t say no to his family. Try to rest as much as possible and look on the bright side- they will keep you distracted from thinking about the whole process.

Carolyn- I send you my blessings on the rememberance of your Father–in-law. Your DH is really lucky to have someone like you in his life.You are sp strong for him.
That’s excellent you haven’t had an much alcohol in 5 mths.Congrats! They say it cleans out the liver and a stronger liver makes for better fertility results!!!
I can’t believe about your DH’s business partner what a jerk! I would want to slap him around as well for behaving in such a cowardly way!It’s so hard to have partnerships in business when people like him go behaind your back like that. Thanks for being so supportive of my pregnancy – you are really sweet.. I know all the statistics helps make the situation more realistic for you, but don’t lose hope or faith that it will happen for you. Keep visualizing that tiny baby in your belly surrounded with pink(that is a color of love)- especially when you are doing your acu treaments b/c that is when you are in a relaxed state of mind. Our minds have a very powerful effect on our bodies. I pray that you get your BFP soon sweetie!

Lauralou-I think your DH might just be a little nervous after all you have been through and doesn’t want to get too excited so that you stay calm. I’m sure at the first ultra-sound when he sees the baby in your belly moving around he’ll react differently. Sometimes men need to confirm it visually. I know my DH once he saw the baby for a few days he was joking around and rubbing my belly- saying hi baby! Hang in there and I’m certain he’ll come around. There’s a great book that helps men called « What to expect when your wife is expanding » maybe it would help. Don’t feel bad about venting to us- that’s what we are here for!

I couldn’t finish reading all your posts yesterday- my dh came home and needed the computer for work.
Today is such a gloomy day here and for some reason I don’t feel more compelled to work on a website for my portfolio. I’ve done three sites so far but one still needs to be completed. And… I should create more. I kind of feel guilty.

Have a good day.
Hugs,
Dania

LauraLou · Post by **LauraLou** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:58 pm

It looks like I got excited too soon. My second beta today didn't double; it didn't even come close. It went from 157 on Monday to 217 today. I go back on Friday for another beta, but it looks like I've miscarried again.

My heart is breaking.

veronika · Post by **veronika** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:10 pm

Oh Laura, I don't know what to say. I am devasted for you. I am so sorry. But please do not give up all hope yet! Maybe the numbers are just slow to double or there were two beanies in the beginning and now there is only one left. It must be so hard to keep up hope and be prepared at the same time. Laura, I will pray for you and think of you. I truly feel with you.
Love, Veronika

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:41 am

Oh Laura

I am really not sure what to write either. I simply cannot believe it. I feel so awful for you.

I want to be positive for you hun and so hope that it was maybe 2 beanies and now just 1. But also don't want to give you false hope either.

I have been praying that this would not happen to you. It is just too much pain and suffering to inflict on you and your dh.

We are here for you. If you want to be mad or sad or just to be with us.

Oh god - why does this happen to such a nice & strong lady.

I only wish that I could give you a huge hug & cry with you.

Please hold on for the bloods tomorrow. I will root for you as much as I possibly can.
Love and massive hugs
Carolyn xx

LauraLou · Post by **LauraLou** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 1:46 pm

Veronika and Carolyn,

Thank you for your kind words of support. There is a slight chance of vanishing twin syndrome, but that is highly unlikely. I did find one case on Google were a woman had betas of 156, 223 and then 596, but most of the vanishing twins betas started in the 200+ range.

What is so ironic is if my second beta had been 217 during my first IVF that would have been perfect, but because I had such a strong first beta this time, 217 is terrible.

I am not nearly as upset this time as last time. Of course I'm sad and terribly disappointed, but not devastated. I guess it's not such a shock this time or perhaps I'm just numb.

I was so confident on Monday as I felt pregnant, but I remember thinking yesterday that I wasn't having the uterine twinges anymore. This morning I don't have the slight nausea I've had since last week.

DH and I talked last night. We discussed adoption vs. donor IUI. We have decided to try donor IUI. I am afraid that I will keep miscarrying but we are going to try.

I seem to have no problem getting pregnant, it's just keeping the pregnancy that isn't working. I really don't understand why, as all the bloodwork checking for antiphospholipids, clotting disorders, etc all came back normal.

Thank you all for your wonderful support and I will definitely let you know what my beta is tomorrow.

Laura

AuntyPebbles · Post by **AuntyPebbles** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:37 pm

OH Laura im praying hard for you this is so hard and so unfair
i agree with carolyn ...and will be rooting for a turn around...

love Aunty

jackoa21 · Post by **jackoa21** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:44 pm

Laura
I dont even know where to start.. First I will be saying all of my prayers that this is just a mistake. Secondly you and DH are in our thoughts and prayers. Is there anythign we can do to help..
Love and hugs
Jackie

Xrayem · Post by **Xrayem** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:50 am

Laura - sweetie.

I am not going to give up hope for you yet. I am so sorry that you are having this scare, but still praying that your little one is hanging on. What a shitty, shitty week that you are having. I was just reading through the posts and was getting ready to respond to your predicament with DH when I read your last ones. Keep strong. We are always here for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carolyn - You are also having a terrible time. My DH is also having a hard time at work and I feel like ringing his boss up and yelling at her "don't you know what he's going through?". If your DH is a partner can he be forced out? Are they equal partners? What a snivelling little snake he is working with!

I am sorry that he is going through the loss of his father....there is nothing to say or do to make it better.

When DH and I lived in London and it all got too much for us, we used to hire a car and drive over to Cardiff and stay at a St David's Spa. We could normally get it for 95 quid a night. Once we checked in, we would put on our swimmers and fluffy robes and take the spa elevator down to the day spa and spend all day swimming and sitting in the spa and sauna. At night we would eat at the Marco Pierre White restaurant and would leave so realxed and resfreshed. Nowadays when we get stressed, we both wish that we could just jump in the car and head to St David's and make it all better.

__________________________________________________________

We've had a set back in that the pick-up won't be until monday now as on my wed bloods and scan, my hormone levels had plateaued out and the follies hadn't grown much since the monday scan. So more waiting.

I had a look yesterday and I have at least 10 follicles on each ovary and they have restarted growing again.

Just an aside, while DH was waiting for me at the clinic he heard a conversation where a woman was being told that the storage facility was full and they could only store 4 embryos from each person. Surely this can't be true. What if I get loads more embryos? Its got to be unethical that they just let them die without our permission right? Has anyone been in this situation?

I'm a bit disappointed but what can I do.

The rellies have been okay so far and I am grateful for that.

Em

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:52 am

Just a brief drop in for me now and I'll plan to come on later.........

Laura - thinking of you again today and so hoping that the blood work might just bring you the good news that you so deserve

Em - willing your follies to grow. Mine stalled a bit on my ivf cycle so think that it may be quite normal. Had a lot but they were not growing much. They then picked up again with no increase in drugs. Not sure about letting some embies perish. Don't worry about that just yet. Even if they have to let some pass may be they can allow them all to grow on and effectively self select which will mean that you know which are the strongest for you. Anyway focus your energy on getting them to grow right now.

More later ladies
Carolyn xxx

DaniaBB · Post by **DaniaBB** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:52 pm

Laura- I’m so sorry sweetie that you have to go through this- I am praying for you and DH that the little angel hangs on tightly.
Keep your warm hands on your belly, they say extra blood flow to the uterus is good. I read that a baby aspirin can help blood flow as well, have you heard about that?

Em-I can’t believe your DH’s boss is getting on his case right now. Its hard for him right now too. As for your clinic not accepting more than a certain amount of embryos I am surprised its the first time I hear about that. Call around – maybe other clinics in your area offer storage services. I’m sending you lots of vibes for Big follies! Visualize 20 big ones in your belly!

I’m thinking of you & sending you big hugs!
Dania

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:18 pm

My Dear Laura

Just stopped by before I go to bed to see if you had posted any news. I'll have to keep hoping and praying for you sweetie and to look again first thing tomorrow morning.

Thinking of you & sending hugs.
Carolyn xxx

LauraLou · Post by **LauraLou** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:24 pm

The doctor's office called said my beta went from 217 to 253, i.e. the embryo has stopped growing. I'm to stop the progesterone shots and go back in a week to make sure the hcg level returns to zero.

I really don't understand why I m/c'd again. I had such a strong first beta 157. What happened? Is it my age? Does DH's bad sperm make the embryos unable to develop correctly?

I was smart this time and made a review appointment right after the transfer, just in case. So we go to the see the doctor on 10/30, a little over 2 weeks from now. I don't know if he will have any answers other than just keep trying.

We have definitely decided not to do anymore IVF cycles. It's too expensive, too hard on my body and it doesn't seem to work for us. I had a big cry last night with DH. It's hard to let go of the dream of having a baby that is part of both of us.

We are going to try donor IUI. It is inexpensive and requires a lot fewer drugs. My fear is that I will keep getting pregnant and then miscarrying month after month, but we need to try. Our last option, or plan C as DH calls it, is adoption.

I know some of you did IUI, can you tell me how it works? Do you downreg and then take stims? I don't know when we will be able to try IUI. I'm hoping we could start in November or December.

Thank you all for your support. I truly could not get through all of this without you.

Laura

Xrayem · Post by **Xrayem** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 12:19 am

Hi Laura,

I am so sad for you that you are having to go through this but proud of you that you have the forsight to plan ahead. You are such a strong soul.

As for the IUI, all clinics vary differently but my regime was very easy. There is no need for down regging as they are only hoping to produce 2 follicles. The whole cycle will fit within your natural cycle. So on day 3 (this is where the clinics vary) I started taking clomid tablets which are a weak FSH to stimulate my ovaries. I only had to take them for 5 days.

I had blood tests to check for the LH surge and a scan to check the size of the follies. When the LH surge starts, they usually did the IUI the next day. The actual procedure is very similar to a smear test. They will wash the sperm to remove all the seminal fluid and then inject it via a catheter into your uterus. Then the dreaded 2ww.

Some clinics use FSH injections rather than clomid tablets and do salivar test kits for the LH surge rather than blood tests. I have heard that some clinics do 2 IUI's just to be on the safe side. Some people who have had a history of m/c take the progesterone during the 2ww to support the luteal phase.

Hugs to you and your DH.
Em

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:26 am

Dear Laura

All I can say is that I am tears reading your post. It is too cruel and sad.

As Em says, you are strong to have made plans already. Booking the appointment early means you get to see your consultant the day before I go again.

My consultant told me that implantation and keeping where a mix of many things - lining, egg quality (which is impacted by our age), sperm quality etc etc It is built off everything that went before it so there are so many variables that it is the least understood part of the cycle.

I know that you had many blood tests but did they test for NKC. I have read a lot about it. Clinics in the UK don't really test for it but I heard that lots of the US clinics do test for it. I understand that one clinic in the UK will test for them and if there is an issue then they support the lutereal phase with heparin and steriods. As you know I am an accountant rather than a nurse/doctor so apologise if any of this is confused but just wanted to write down just in case you have not talked to your consultant about this.

May write more later but just wanted to check in for Laura. Meant to be doing chores as Saturday!!!

Love to you all. Big hugs Laura.
Carolyn xxx

DaniaBB · Post by **DaniaBB** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 2:02 pm

Laura,
I feel so sad for you Laura that you have to deal with another m/c. It does sounds like you have a strong plan set up and you have done so quickly. I'm sending you a big hug and I believe that you are strong and you will get through this.

My clinic told me the same thing as Carolyn's- that implantation is one of the most diffcult process for them to understand. They mentionned that heparin shots do help as well as low dose aspirin- depends on your diagnosis. I have a friend who was on heparin on her second IVF cycle and it worked for her that time.

---------------------------------------------

I spoke to one of my neighbors yesterday that lives a few houses away and she told me an uplifting story about her daughter's trials to get pregnant. For 15 years they tried to conceive (she is 40) - she didn't mention if they tried IVF. Last november she had finally been accepted to adopt a little Chinese girl- she had received all the info and was supposed to go pick her up in Oct. 2006- well in January she found out she was naturally pregnant and she gave birth to baby girl Eva two weekends ago- it was a tough pregnancy she had severe anemia and the baby had jaundice but now they are both healthy and happy. I hope this uplifts some of your spirits during this tough time.

Have to go do some laundry and the groceries- have a good weekend.

Lots of hugs to everyone!
Dania

April/May Buddies??

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