NEGATIVE

SBROWN · Post by **SBROWN** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 7:27 am

Sorry guys, did hpt this morning & big fat nothing Feeling really numb at the moment....... Dh trying to get me to be positive, he says its unusual to get +ve 1st go, & keeps reminding me we still have 6 embryos in the freezer. Hes probably right but at this precise moment in time I just feel like my whole world has fallen apart, Im usually a strong person but is knocked me for six. When I see what some of you have been through I feel a bit of a fraud falling apart after my 1st failure..... Anyway, have to phone clinic later, really dont want to talk to ANYONE at the moment. Im going back to hide under my duvet now Thank you all for your support & wishes Sarah xx

LesleyB · Post by **LesleyB** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 7:40 am

Sarah, I'm so sorry. Thinking of you Lesley xxx

kathryn · Post by **kathryn** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 7:41 am

dear sarah, Im so sorry to hear your news. and sarah, it doesnt matter if its your 1st or your 5th attempt, its still painful, youre not a fraud, bless you!Youll make yourself feel even worse if you think your a fraud, youve gone through such an emotional experience, youre being too hard on yourself and you have enough to cope with. I like to think that we are all pg for those 2 weeks, because we are carrying our little embies. You now need to give yourself time to grieve for your little loss. Im really sorry sarah, take good care of each other lots of love kathryn x

Kate W · Post by **Kate W** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 7:53 am

Sarah I am so sorry to hear this news. Please, please don't feel badly for being upset. You have every right to collapse a little bit when you hear this news regardless of how many times you have been through it. Take special care of yourself. I will be thinking of you and your DH. Love Kate XXX

hayley · Post by **hayley** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 8:17 am

ah sarah i am so sorry to hear your news this morning. spend as long as you like under the duvet and grieve your loss. you sound like you've a great dh there, so spend some quality time together. i know at the mo its no consilation but as your dh said- you still have 6 frosties so perhaps me & you could be fet buddies

take care hayley

Nikola · Post by **Nikola** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 9:13 am

Sarah, I'm so terribly sorry to hear your news. Nothing can prepare you for the huge loss you feel when your first tmt doesn't work. You must take some time for yourself and do whatever your body want to do. If that means hiding under the duvet, then that is what you should damn well do! It does get better each day, I promise! love nikola.xx

SQUEW · Post by **SQUEW** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 9:16 am

Sarah Really sorry to hear your news, stay under the duvet as long as you need. I think this whole process requires a lot of courage and determination and when I read how many times some of the others have been through this I am amazed.I too like to think I am a strong person, but like you found the loss almost unbearable. The only thing I can say is each time you try you have a 'chance' which is more than we normally get. You will feel better soon, and dig out some courage and go for you next FET as soon as you both feel ready. Thinking of you Sue xx

Karen W · Post by **Karen W** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 10:51 am

Sarah, I am so sorry for you and DH. You will feel like complete c**p today, and probably really teary, which is part emotional and part all the drugs. Believe me you will wake up tommorow and the world will not look such a bleak place as today. DH and I were up until 5.00 this morning, both together and seperately bemoaning the whole thing, but I have had some reflexology and apart from feeling knackered feel a little better and able to face the next challenges. Maybe we will be cycle buddies again shortly? Eat lots of chocolate and have a little wine tonight. I've decided to make a chocolate cake which I might then scoff all to myself. Hope you feel better soon. Love Karen xx

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 10:59 am

Sarah I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. It does get better believe me. I was in your situation 6th months ago (first time -ve) and felt exactly the same. But am back here with my buddies to try again. As someone else said on this site, if you get pregnant first time you are really, really lucky - it's more likely to take a bit longer - look at Nikola - it was her second time round so there is a lot of hope and it won't be as bad next time as you have the frosties. Big hugs and i totally agree with Karen - eat lots of chocolate and drink some fine wine!!! beckym xxx

Lissa · Post by **Lissa** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:01 am

Oh Sarah I am so sorry to read your news! Have a jolly good wallow under that duvet and then pamper yourself! The first few days are always a real bummer when you get a negative but you will bounce back ready for another go. Keep you chin up - you can do it! Hope you feel better soon. lol Lissa x

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 12:48 pm

Sorry it didnt work for you this time. Like your DH, when our first ICSI failed I told myself that we would have been EXTREMELY lucky for a first time success, so I decided to regard it as something of a trial run, and it was true that when we started again, I did feel much more relaxed about the whole process, the drugs, etc. You know what its like now to do IVF. Second attempt worked for us - I so hope you have the same luck next time. The bit I found worst was a day or 2 later when the drugs wore off - it made me really low but only for a brief time. You can get up and fight again!!! Lots of Love - Jo. XX

july ann · Post by **july ann** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 1:28 pm

sarah so sorry, do not know what to say but i'm hear if you need to talk or cry. from someone who know's how you feel.. july ann

val · Post by **val** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 2:13 pm

Sarah, I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you this time. I too think I am a strong person, but after I lost a baby at 13 weeks, I just didn't think I would make it. But, after a grieving period, day by day, I felt better and stronger than I ever had before. Your strength and words of encouragement have helped so many, I really do wish this had been your time. I know in time you will be back stronger than ever for another try. Take great care of yourself, Val

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 2:16 pm

Sarah and Dh Im so sorry this wasnt your time and please do not feel bad for feeling like crap this is totally understandable , this is a huge stressfull experience we are all experiencing and everyone copes in different ways , you will probably feel a little better once the hormones have come back to earth as they can make you feel even lousier. take time out for one another and look after yourself ready to go again

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}] Trace x

JackieT · Post by **JackieT** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 4:47 pm

sarah so sorry to hear your news. nothing i can say to make you feel any better, just keep hugging each other and it will ease the pain {eventually}. are you trying again soon? i am thinking of you and DH love jackieT xxx

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