The Over 40 Crowd

[WISCONSINGAL]

HI EVERYONE, BAD NEWS. NONE OF THE 4 FERTILIZED.....I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO TRY....IT TOOK US YEARS TO SAVE UP FOR THIS IVF, AFTER TWO FAILED IUI'S.....WHAT BUGS ME THE MOST....IS THEY DON'T KNOW WHY. THE EGGS WERE GOOD....THE SPERM WAS GOOD....EVERYTIME I GO FOR ULTRA SOUNDS....ALL I HEAR IS "EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD" HOW CAN IT LOOK SO DAM GOOD, AND THEN NOTHING FERTILIZES? SO NOW AFTER THE LAST $15,000.00 I DON'T EVEN GET A TRANSFER??? ANYONE ELSE GO THROUGH THIS?

[LuAnne41]

Hello, WisconsinGal. I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. I haven't gone through that personally, but I've been told everything "looks good" right through the ET only to get a BFN after the 2ww. There are programs that offer a certain number of attempts at a set price, with a refund if unsuccessful. "Success" is typically a live birth. Some of these programs offer financing, as well. Certain IVF clinics have inhouse programs, while some programs are offered nationwide by an outside company & only clinics that meet their criteria are accepted. I'm currently enrolled in one of these programs & would be happy to give you more info. However, the program I am enrolled in required me to use donor eggs, due to my age and history of unsuccessful IVF attempts. I am fine with DE, but it did require some thought. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do next. AND God Bless Everyone that read this post!

[teachertam]

Bev: I've felt movement, but not so much at one time. When I go to bed, I usually feel a few pokes. When I eat, I sometimes feel him move.
I wish the little guy would kick so that DH could feel him.
How is your little guy with the movements?

Anna: You make me laugh I'm sure that I have not gained 6 lbs in my breasts, but it sure looks and feels like I have. I had to buy new bras, as the old ones are too small. DH does not mind it, but I don't like the larger breasts, they get in my way when I sleep. I have been wearing maternity clothing for awhile, since my belly is so big. I don't know what I'm going to do in a month or two. Maybe I should ask for more scans. I'm so used to having them every 2 weeks, I think that I'm spoiled.

LuAnne: Good luck on your beta tomorrow.

Wisconsingal: I'm sorry to hear that you had such bad luck with fertilization on your cycle. I never had any trouble at all with fertilization. All of my eggs that were collected always fertilized. I would recommend trying a different clinic. $15,000 sounds very steep for a retrieval only. My total cycle cost was around $12,000 (including the transfer). My clinic is in Indianapolis. Did your clinic give you an explanation for the fertilization problem? If the eggs are good and the sperm is good, fertilization should be no problem. I had 2 failed IUI's, 2 failed IVF's and then while waiting to proceed with a frozen cycle, I got pregnant naturally. I had an HSG X-ray, which supposedly increases your pregnancy rates for the next couple of cycles. DH and I tried timing our intercourse right after I had the HSG test and we got pregnant. Have you had this procedure? It is where they shoot dye into your fallopian tubes to ensure there are no blockages. I did not have any blockages. I think that it must clean out your uterus too. With my 1st IVF, the dr. transferred 2 embies, but on the 2nd IVF we transferred 5 embies. Two were extended blastocysts. My doctor said that I had a perfect cycle, except that I did not get pregnant. We were going to throw in the towel, but my RE convinced us to try a frozen cycle, as I had 4 eggs left over from my 2nd IVF. I would have never done the HSG x-ray if we were not going to try a frozen cycle and maybe would have not gotten pregnant.

Yasmina: I hope you are doing well.

Take care all,
Tammy

[jen babes]

Hi Gang.

Wisconsingal, hI to you and welcome. Sorry to hear about your lack of fertilisation...i am a a los as to why myself? It's all so frustrating going through this and having problems at the last hurdle my heart goes out to you...My problem is only having 1 0or 2 eggs each cycle, although they ferliise they do not iplant ( yet!!!!) I hope you get some support from you doctos and maybe some answers soon X X

Welcome Sam, so sorry to see your news. Failed cycles are the absolute pits. Nothing I can say can take away your pain. Just know that you are amongst friends here who really do understand. If you decide to cycle again pop back and 'see' us .

Tammy, how are you? Did you manage to weigh your breasts?!! I haven't weighed myself yet and must admit to being scared to step on the scales.... You said you would really like more regular scans..is this not an option for you? Maybe you could ask and even offer to pay for extra ones?

Kat, hi, thinking of you. memories and yearly ( & monthly anniversary) dates do bring back lots of emotions.It's such a difficult time as you have been through so much over the last so many years (7 i think????) Anniversaries are a difficult time. I hope you make a choice soon regarding your options on the donor list ...It's a hard one but I do hope you will go for it x x

LuAnn, Hi and welcome . Wishing you a Happt BFP today...sending you lots of ***BABY DUST*** your way...fingers crossed

Anna good to hear you in fiine fettle...you really are a breath of fresh air to me. Good luck telling the superiors at school about your preggy state...hope they give you good support ( like your new bras ha ha!!!) Glad to hear it's all becoming mor real to...How exciting!!!!

Tammy Good to hear your feeling well. hope beanie gives kicks soon so your DH can feel too! x x

Hi to Bev, yasmina and anyone else i have missed

I am lovinhg having our new family member. Puppy chew chew ( Broc now 8 and half weeks ) is wonderful...Keeping me very busy just now through the day as he is in at everything...especially my big 12 year old plants... He is so cute and loving but has had a breakout of spots ! the vet says it's a combination of moving house, leaving his mum dad and siblings, change of food and getting his 1st ingection. He's on antibiotics for a5 days and hope the iching will stops. he is dry through the night but howls for attention 2 - 3 times during the night...a bit like a new born woould i presume. Hopefully this will stop soon. He is so gentle though and i love him to bits already!!!!

Love to ya all

jen
xxx

[WISCONSINGAL]

WE DID CHECK FOR BLOCKAGE....I WAS TOLD "MY PLUMBING LOOKS FINE".....I GUESS THAT'S WHAT BUGS ME THE MOST....I'VE BEEN DOING TEST AFTER TEST FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS NOW......AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS LATER, ALL I HEAR IS IT LOOKS GREAT, HEY EVERYTHING IS DOING GREAT, YOU DH'S SPERM WAS GREAT.....??? AND THEN NOTHING, NOTHING EVER HAPPENS. DOES ANYONE KNOW OF A GOOD CLINIC CLOSE TO GREEN BAY, WI ??? OR A GOOD DR. THEY WOULD REFER?

[Sonix]

Hi there,

Welcome Wisconsingal: I’m so sorry to hear what's happening to you. You’ve been having a really tough time. Only getting to retrieval and still such costs too. It’s so frustrating always hearing the same message and not getting anywhere. I do hope someone will be able to recommend a good doctor in your area so that you can get some answers and sound advice soon. Hang on in there.

Sam: a big welcome to you too. Sorry to hear that you’re feeling so low. Hoping you’ll get all the support you need for your decision making and wishing you lots of luck with your next steps.

LuAnne: Glad you made it over to this thread. Any news yet? Keeping my fingers crossed for you that all has gone well.

Jen: Congratulations on your new family member. How’s he settling in? You asked about the HSG test. I didn’t actually have an HSG. Tammy and other ladies here have recommended it, to be reassured that everything is OK if nothing else, but my doc has been against it up to now. The problems lie elsewhere, he says. I have heard of people getting infections after the test so maybe that’s another reason why he’s reluctant to go ahead with it.

Anna: you’re dead right in what you said about getting your priorities right when it comes to baby and work. I’m determined to have several days off work during the crucial days of treatment. It’s not that I have to go away on business every week or even every month, but you know how it goes; as soon as treatment is scheduled to begin the business appointments are lined up too. So I’m trying to keep a low profile at work at the moment. Keep sending those relaxing vibes.

Hi Kat – Hope you had a good bonfire night and enjoyed the fireworks last weekend. I hope too that you’ve been having a good week and haven’t had to think too much about last year. I haven’t been through half of what you’ve been through but I’m sure that when the time comes you and DH will be strong enough to take those decisions. We’re here for help and support.

I took the last BCP on Tuesday and AF is already showing signs of arriving. We are to call the clinic on the first cycle day. I don’t exactly know what the doc has planned for this cycle. From what he said after the last time he may decide on IVF on a natural cycle this time. I have a whole drawer of follistims and syringes left over from the last cancelled cycle – a few hundred Euros worth – but they don’t help me at all. It will be the last IVF cycle, at this clinic at least. Our doc wants us to be able to move on… Nevertheless I’m still managing to get a bit excited with anticipation. My motto for the next few weeks will inevitably be “it only takes one”.

Hi to the ladies in waiting. Keep up the exercise and the high spirits. Those “happy hormones” will be having a very positive effect on the little ones.

Take care all
Love
Sonia

[AMck]

Morning ladies, just popped in to see if there was any news from LuAnn?
Fingers crossed x x

Sorry no time for a longer post.

Hugs to all
Anna x

[teachertam]

Hello Ladies:

Happy Saturday! The weather has turned cold here today, after 2 days of 70 degree weather! Fall is really here.

Jen: I have not weighed my breasts, but I know that they are quite a bit bigger. I go to my OB doctor next Thursday and will ask about additional scans. I miss seeing the little guy.

Does your puppy sleep in the house? When I first got Max, my chocolate lab, I would put him in his cage at night, as we were training him. His cage was in my bedroom. He cried the first 2 nights and the second night I slept on the floor beside his cage. That definitely helped. Dogs are wonderful. Cats are too, as we have 2 of each.

Sonia: Good luck on your upcoming cycle. Regarding the HSG test, I was ok too, as I had no blocked tubes. I'm wondering if the test did not clean out my uterus and help with implantation. That seemed to be my problem with the 2 failed IVF's. I had no problems with fertilization and embie growth, they would just not implant. Both times I had 5 day transfers.

Hello to Anna, LuAnne, Wisconsingal, Kat, Yasmina, Bev and Randa.

Take care all,
Tammy

[children]

Hi everyone,

No much to report, just had a happy hour last night and no one believed that I was almost 6 month preg. The moms said that they were almost double the tummy size, made me believe that I am carrying a minigirl! My weight gains pretty slowly and I am still in pre-preg bras and most of the cloths - I do wear preg cloths just to show people that I am indeed preg! My Ob did not seem to be surprised at all about my small belly size. My hubby said my frame is naturally smaller than others (I am S or XS, 5 ft 2 in. - 158 cm, regular weight, 126 lbs, current weight, 133 lb), and I can not use other's weight gain as references. My next appointment will be in 20 days, we will see what my OB says then! See, I have more reasons to be jealous of you all, because I am the outlier.

Tammy, thanks, I will be careful in the ski trip. I never felt that my tummy is in the way for anything, except my DH insisted that I can not take my skis with me, in case I lose control and go to the hills without his knowing! I can only walk with my big shoes, according to him. Anyway, for the safe side, I try to eat, walk, and sleep only this time, not even cross country ski anymmore!

For everyone who is waiting for your anxious 2ww and next cycle, good luck to you all. I have posted whatever I know in this process and not much insights to contribut here, other than my faith in ivf and my wishes to your success. Please keep us posted, even though you are feeling down when the results are negative, we are here to share and support along your journey!

Take care and have a nice weekend!

Yasmina

[LuAnne41]

Hello Everyone!!! I had to get a new keyboard for my computer so I have been unable to even sign on! I don't know how I ever lived without a computer. Anyway, bad news; I got a BFN on the Beta on Thursday. I want to thank everyone that was pulling for me though because I'll certainly need you all again. In the meantime, I stopped all my meds and am just waiting for my familiar friend, AF. Ha! The truth is we didn't have a very good egg donor. She must not have responded very well to the meds, although it seemed as if she would based on her preliminary work up at the clinic. We only had 4 embryos, of average quality. 2 were used in the fresh cycle & 2 in this FET, both BFN's! The doctor actually told me they would not use her again because of this poor response. Sucks for me though because I had to pay all that $$$, take a bunch of meds and feel like crap for a BFN. Oh well! I have several ideas about where to go next. I'll keep you posted on that.
As for everyone else, I hope you are all doing well. That goes for everyone with a baby in the womb, as well as you ladies like me, with the baby still just in your dreams. God Bless You All!
LuAnne

[children]

I am sorry LuAnne. I wonder why your clinic did not put all 4 embryos in at the first place knowing the quality of the eggs were so so? I tend to blame doctors when things don't work well, just as they blame on us. I would demand for a post-ivf counseling before going for another cycle with them. Prepare a lot of questions to make them believe that you really spend quite a bit effort to coorperate! I did that, I invited my DH to meet with both my RE and the embryologist after my failed ivf cycle to try to squeeze them for some answers, even though that was my first ivf failure and it was absolutely normal to them. Both my RE and embryolosist said that those WERE REALY good questions. Once they were questioned so much, they had to try their best next time - I saw my embryologist looking at the microscope when I walked in the transer room, I was believing that he was checking my babies himself to prepare some answers for me in case it failed again!

I wanted to say the same thing to the Wisconsingirl too, I hate that your clinic did not do ICSI to make sure fertilization's sucess. I also hated when people say to me that everything works perfectly well, in the end, nothing happens. This was my case also - I was so welcomed in my clinic because I had unexpectedly good response to drugs, they all seemed to be VERY pleased to see me each time and congratulated me along the way, in the end, the RE decided not to procede for ET due to hyperstimulation - I could not understand it, I said I would sign any papers to take the risk, they would not listen and freezed all my embryos without asking me! I still believe that would have done the ET if it was not close to the Christmas - my clinic close for 20 days around that time! Anyway, I was so mad and I was even madder when my first FET attempt was cancelled due to domenant folicle and second EFT failed. Finally, I read a lot, practiced yoga, and went for some massage, which calmed me down a lot. Lastly, we suceeded. After all, we really appreciate our doctors and nurses who gave us a sucessful pregnancy.

Sorry it took so long to reach a point, I had encouraged people to leave their clinics whenever they don't trust them anymore, but it may not be wise. I had interviewed many other clinics after the first failed ivf and frankly told them my reasons, all of the REs that I consulted said that my clinic had made right decision for us. Now looking back, I am glad that we have stayed, because the doctors get to know you better when you hang around long enough.

I wish we all suceed in the end!

Yasmina

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, happy Sunday!

Wisconsingal, sorry to see your news. I know it's early days but have you decided on your next step yet? A lengthy meeting with the consultant seems on the cards. Maybe ICSI is the way forward if fertilisation is an issue? Thinking of you

LuAnn, so sorry to see your news. Can't believe the Dr said that they would not be using this donor again...that really doesn't help you does it? Hope Af arrives on time and you can cycle again soon. Will it be easy to arrange another donor? We cycled straight away after our first BFN with egg donor and succeeded! Good luck to you.

Hi Yasmina, have a great holiday...take care of your little bundle!

Hello Tammy, are you feeling lots of movement now? My little beanie is moving very gently a lot of the time. Can't wait until DP can feel it too!

Sonix, here are some more relaxing vibes for you...take care of yourself.




Not much to report from me really. Told school Governors on Thursday eve and they were OKish.. ... a couple of congrats and a 'take care of yourself' but as the majority of them are men I think they were thinking it was all a fuss about nothing. More interested in how the staffing structure would change etc.... ah well at least it's done now. We are telling all the parents by letter on Tuesday...watch this space!

Hello and hugs to Kat, Bev, Jen and other lovely ladies here.
Take care all
Anna x

[teachertam]

LuAnne: I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN! Keep your head up and don't give up. I agree with Yasmina in that you should prepare yourself with lots of questions for the post IVF conference. My RE normally only meets with you for 30 min. I told him that I would need 60 min. to answer all of the questions that I had. I also invited my embryologist to our conference. DH just sat there as I asked question after question. I asked a lot of questions about using a different protocol. My RE explained why the one we used was the best for me. The 2nd IVF used the same protocol but had a much better response (12 eggs retrieved instead of 3).

Yasmina: I wish that I was like you regarding the weight gain. The extra weight affects my knees and back. It also makes it difficult to breath sometimes after eating a large meal. I can't imagine getting bigger, but I know that I will.

Anna: I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling your baby move. I am feeling more movement, but not strong enough for DH to feel him. I'm sure it is just a matter of time before I can see movement on the outside. I usually notice more movement when I am sitting very quietly or right after eating sweets or drinking a caffeinated beverage. I can't remember.................do you know the sex of your baby yet?

Hello to everyone else.

Take care all,
Tammy

[erjumper]

Hi ladies!
It's been forever since i've signed on. Hubby and I are in Washington, DC for 3 months as I have taken a contract at a University Hospital here in the Neuro ICU. I've been working working working to earn some money for Christmas. Finances are extremely tight since hubby lost his job. It's wonderful that all of you preggers are beginning to feel your little miracles and i'm soooo jealous but at the same time i'm really feeling ok with giving up the battle. We fought the good fight and i'm comfortable knowing that we did all we could do and for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be. We're really starting to look forward to our future doing things that we couldn't do with a child and it's exciting. (we plan on traveling)
I did go back 4 pages and read up on everyone and as for the canine addition to Jen's family........DOGS are AWESOME!! Each time we had a miscarriage we got a puppy. So we have 4 dogs. 2 Pugs, a Min Pin and a Chocolate Pomeranian. (Pugsly, Thursday, Brutus and Cocoa Puff) They are truly our children and I can't imagine not having any of them. They love unconditionally and are always there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. And they know when something is wrong. Our oldest Pug got very depressed and sat on my lap constantly when I had 1 of my miscarriages. I swear he KNEW! Enjoy your new little bundle of fur.
Welcome to the new gals. Luanne i'm so sorry you had a BFN. You've come to the right place for empathy and support and we're here 24 hours a day!
Time to start dinner. I'll be checking in more frequently again. Have a great week.
Hugs,
Lisa

[LuAnne41]

Hello Everyone!

Lisa
I totally agree with your outlook. If I feel I've tried everything w/in reason, if it's meant to be, it will. I too, am a little jealous of the pregnant ladies, but mostly very happy for them all. God knows none of these ladies take this miracle for granted, & that makes them all the more deserving to be mothers. I wholeheartedly agree w/focusing on doing things you would not be able to do w/a small child, or children, like the traveling. You're focusing on the positive, and we all deserve to be happy.

Tammy
When we did the fresh ET in August, I had 1 full hour with the doctor for the post cycle consult. I took 2 (typed) pages of questions. Of course, I still plan to ask more at this consult, which by the way is Wednesday the 15th. IVF patients have a right to as much information as the clinic can provide. We spend a lot of $$$, not to mention the emmotional strain.

Anna
I'm sure you're glad you have that behind you, telling those wonderful men of your pregnancy. I think most women would be excited for you regardless of any inconvenience to them. Men are just...well, men. As for the doctor telling me they would not use the donor again, she told me that after the fresh cycle ET, but we had the frozen embies, so we went ahead with a FET. After watching a television program re IVF, I learned that 9 follicles wasn't very good, even for an older lady. That made me upset, but what could I do?

Yasmina
My clinic has a lot of rules I don't agree with, and one of them is that they never transfer more than 2 embryos. Of course, they get extra $$$ to cryo the extra. I am somewhat mistrustful of this clinic because they have a lot of rules I was very taken aback by. For example, all retrievals are on Tuesday, all transfers are on Friday, no 5 day transfers, no assisted hatching with donor eggs, etc. These rules have to compromise their outcomes, which by the way are exactly the same as the national average per the CDC.

I have not made a decision where to go next. However, I do plan to do consultations with 5 other clinics, as well as the followup with the clinic I am currently with. The other clinics I am consulting with are:

Advanced Fertility Ctr. (Chicago, IL)
SIRM (Peoria, IL)
The Infertility Ctr. of St. Lukes (St. Louis, MO)
Pacific Fertility Ctr. (San Francisco, CA)
The Fertility Ctr. (Louisville, KY)

I just want to feel that the clinic I use does its best for me. If that is the case, I will be much better equiped to deal with whatever outcome I get. I hopefully will have a decision made, and be ready to do another cycle at the beginning of the year.

Thanks everyone!
LuAnne