Double Trouble

[ahart]

Congrats, Ladies with +ives, and there's alot of twins, I agree with KristiA, these past almost 2 wks for me are somewhat of a challenge. I jump everytime I hear them make a noise. I figured thar I would go into pre-term as well..almost made it though.....take it easy and remember that someone else can do some of the house work for a change, or it can wait until later

[Rittie2000]

Dear KristiA and Ahart,

Thank you for your most inspiring replies and congratulations on your new arrivals. They must be so cute I bought a few bits of maternity clothes on the weekend and am starting to look at nursery furniture. If we bought 2 cotbeds, would that be sufficient? I mean do we still need to buy moses baskets etc? We are also starting to look at twin buggies. Does anyone have any recommendation of tips?

Hope everyone's feeling well and coping great.

Lots of love
Rittie

[ahart]

Since I had a c-section I figured that a moses basket would be something extra to carry, I received to as a gift at my shower....and I don't use them. I use the bassinet more than anything. We also bought 2 car seats that would fit into the dual stroller that was given to us as well, however I was informed by another mother of twins that she purchased a dual stroller that came with one car seat and she purchsed an extra one...I was like you in regards to only buying bits of matenity clothes.

[kristiA]

I have a bassinet in the living room where I end up sometimes in the night so DH can sleep. I have a play-yard thing that has a bassinet with it in the bedroom for sleeping at night. And I have 2 cribs (cots) in the nursery, which is upstairs and due to my c-section I can't climb stairs quite yet. I might keep them in our bedroom until they start sleeping longer in the night too. There's lots of getting up & down with them in the night and the night feedings....so convenient places in your house to change & feed & sleep them are important. For me, the nursery being upstairs isn't convenient at this stage, so the bassinets in the main floor have been great for me.

I have a Graco double stroller that has the 2 car seats/carriers that snap into it. It's great! You can easily move them from the car to the stroller and carry them wherever without disturbing them. And it's easy for me to do on my own. I've gone out shopping a few times by myself with them already.

After an exhausting morning, it's now 2:00 in the afternoon and both babies are sleeping. Hmm...should I shower, take a nap, or eat lunch? Ahart, I'm sure you can relate!!! Where do the hours go?

[LauraLou]

I found out a week ago that I am having identical twins. I know we should be thrilled, but instead we are both scared and feeling overwhelmed. This is our first pregnancy and the thought of having two babies to care for at once is frightening.

Everyone we've told is so happy and excited for us, so I don't feel like I can tell people how uncertain and nervous I am. I keep thinking that I will never get any sleep or that my marriage will fall apart under the strain. One article I read said that parents of twins have a higher divorce rate. I really wish I hadn't read that!

Am I a terrible person to not be incredibly thrilled at the idea of twins? Did anyone else have fears or doubts? Does it get better as you get used to the idea of twins?

Any suggestions or advice you have is greatly appreciated.

[Rittie2000]

Dear LauraLou,

I totally freaked out when I first found out we were having twins. Thoughts about money and putting work on hold, in particular was overwhelming and scary. And I was also very worried about how we will cope with looking after them, how we don't have family or friends close by. But you know what, the fear lasted about a week. I am totally looking forward to having them now. We will cope. We WILL find a way to cope. And there are always options to get help if we aren't coping. From a financial point of view I know people who were much worst off than myself doing alright once they have children. Once you've seen the scan and heard the heart beat you'll start looking forward to having them. I think its natural to freak out. But one must find a way to get out of the rut and look at the bright side. Be confident and positive and try not to lose yourself in the excitement of it all. I hope you'll feel better soon.

PS The girls on this board, particularly the ones who have had their babies are so helpful and supportive. I am very much inspired by them and am learning a lot from them on how they deal with things. Keep your cool girl and you'll be alright.

Lots of love
Rittie

[Nance]

Good Morning Everyone.

LauraLou: Please be rest assured you are not alone in feeling this way. I found out I was having twins a week ago today and I have been panicked ever since. I feel so ungreatfull, especially since everyone here has had such a hard time concieving, and am embarresed to say how sacred and freaked out I am. I never thought that IVF would work and I especially never thought that I would end up with twins. I am so scared that my DH and I are not prepared for this physically, emotionally or financially. I know this feeling will wear off. We are not terrible people for feeling this way. I think it is natural to be overwhelmed at this point. I keep saying to myself that God never gives us anything that we can not handle and that we will be fine. If you ever need anyone to talk to who is going through the same thing don't hesitate to ask.

All my best.
Nance

[kristiA]

LauraLou, you are not alone in feeling like that (as you can see from the others that already wrote). I never had the feelings you had when I was pregnant....BUT, I had major feelings like that right after I gave birth. I suppose it was post-partum hormones, but it was a very strange feeling. Here I tried so hard to get pregnant for all these years, now I have two beautiful healthy baby boys, and yet I had feelings of being overwhelmed, afraid, and not knowing if I could handle it. It passed within a couple of weeks...thank goodness!!

The fact is that 2 babies is more work and it is overwhelming at times. But I think God gives us things that we can handle. You (and us) were chosen to have two babies for a special reason. You will adapt, you will adjust. And you will be ok.

Here's some things that have helped me:

1. Everything costs double...but it's no different than have 2 kids at separate times.
2. If you can breastfeed them at the same time, it's a major time saver and you don't have to mess with bottles & pumping.
3. Let people help you, especially in the beginning.
4. Get out of the house everyday! I either go for a walk and push them in the stroller or I take a short trip to the store just to walk around.
5. Remember it doesn't hurt them to cry. When I am alone & changing one, the other one will cry. Or same with feeding bottles. You have 2 hands...and 2 babies...you can't always pacify them perfectly. Don't feel bad about that. Just be excited to have DH come home from work to help!
6. You may have twins early (mine were 6.5 weeks early) so prepare early on!! Get everything done at work and at home. It will relieve so much stress for you when you have the babies to know that everything at home is ready for them. This was big for me!
7. Everyone has an opinion about everything! My doctor warned me about that. The fact is that everyone would do it different than you. And no way is right or wrong. Do what works for you...all babies, all moms & all situations are different. (This goes for breastfeeding, bottles, pacifiers, formula, etc.)
8. If you are worried about a c-section, don't be. It was an easy recovery for me and I didn't mind it at all. The scar is small and hides under my bikini & hair line.
9. As far as the divorce rate...give each other lots of breaks. I let my DH go golfing....he lets me go shopping. Give each other alone time.
10. Also, find time together. Our best time together is going out to eat..the babies just sleep in their carseats/carriers during the meal. This works when they are little.

Ok, I ran out of time....the babies are ready to eat (again!!). Just know your feelings are normal. It is scary to think of being responsible for caring for two babies at the same time. But you were blessed with twins for a reason, so get prepared and have fun! Oh, do you want to know the genders? I think with twins it helps to know because then you can start buying matching & coordinating clothes & items...it makes it fun & gets you in the mood for twins. That's what I did. Twins are unique! Oh, and you'll love all the gifts you get from people and you'll love the attention you get in public!

Love...Kristi

[LauraLou]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one to feel this way. Just being able to post how I am feeling has helped so much. It is easier to face your fears when you can name them.

My husband is out of town this weekend, so I am going to use this time to collect myself and move out of panic mode and into happy mode. I have wanted a baby for so long and now I am being blessed with two.

Thank you again!

[ahart]

I agree with KristiA, as being a new mother of twins as well, it's harder with 2 but we are thankful and GOD chose us b/c he figured we can handle it...take it one day at a time and remember you're carrying 3 lives...yours and your 2 beanies....Take it easy and rest as much as you can and let someone else do the housework, stay off your feet as much as possible..and eat healthy small meals...We are not rich and like KristiA said it's double everything, but you get use to it. I went to Babies R Us yesterday and shopped totally off the clearance rack and picked up alot of clothes for about $50..not bad at all...clip coupons, not just baby coupons, comp ad in stores that match other stores sale prices, and make sure you subscribe to the free webstes to receive pampers/formula, etc coupons....

[kristiA]

I posted pictures on photobucket of Brady & Tyler for you to see.

Photobucket.com
Username: ivfgroup
password: ivfgroup

[DeniseM]

Kristi, well said about having two. It sounds like you're really getting the hang of things! Yeah!

[langton]

Hi Kirstia, i just wanted to say your boys are absolutly adorable! ive just seen their pics on photobucket. are they identical, i bet its hard to tell them apart. glad to hear your coping really well with the twins, it must be really scary at first. i lay awake now thinking what would be the best way to do this....and what would be the easies way to do that? lol.
I cant wait for my girls im getting really exited now.Ive got a feeling they will make an early appearence too. ive got everything prepered. i ordered my cots and moses baskets last week. they should be here soon. so i will get them up in the next few weeks.
all the best to you Kirstia
im so happy for you
Hayleyx

[kristiA]

Thanks Hayley! No, they aren't identical, although I dress them in the same clothes sometimes. One has blonde hair and one has brown hair, so that's the easiest to tell them part. Sounds like you are getting prepred as the time is getting shorter. You seem excited. Yes, it is scary at first...I was surprised how that made me feel. Now I feel like a pro (well, getting there!). I went grocery shopping today and so many people said "look, twins" and many stopped to ask me about them. I love the attention...it's a nice feeling and makes me feel so proud. What a gift we have!!

[Rittie2000]

Just wanted to say thank you girls for all the advice you've been sharing with us. KristiA your comprehensive list of things to do to make life easier is particularly inspiring. Thank you so much !!!!

We spent the weekend buggy and furniture hunting. I can now visualise the nursery, its too early yet so I won't be buying anything till the new year. But this is getting very exciting. What are people's thoughts about having the babies sleep with them in the same room from birth??? I was planning to have them in the nursery next door from the start, and set up a big nursery chair for me to use for feeding/napping. Does this make sense??? A friend will be giving us a spare cot and I was going to put that downstairs in the front room and use it as a mobile location instead of mosses baskets, does this make sense?

Lots of love to you all
Rittie