Hi All,
I'm just past my first trimester now but I have a question about the time when baby first comes home. This is my first pregnancy and I feel a little overwhelmed about what it will be like. A friend of my husbands insists we MUST get a night nurse for the first few months. I have to admit (and the cost aside which is um...a lot) that it sounds strange to me. I've never even considered anything like that but maybe I'm being naive and it will so amazing to have the help. I don't know what to do and apparently they book up quickly so they want me to make a decision!!! Has anyone else had experience with this?
Thanks so so much!
Mazy
Its up to you, honestly. I'm not comfortable having anyone else in my house, so it wouldn't be something I would do. Its tough at first getting up through the night, but its not that bad, and honestly, I've had some really specail moments in the middle of the night with my girls. Best of luck with your choice.
IUI twins ~ July 2006
IUI singleton ~ due Jan 15 2009
i agree with Denise. Nightime feeds are just part of being a mum as far as Im concerned and I dont think night nurses are that usual - i think most parents just get on with it. It is however very tiring - Would ur DH help out? And do u have family or in laws that would help too? If u r struggling that might be ur best option. Maybe u can get someone to come over and look after the baby for a few hours so u can get a rest during the day and be ready for the night.
Its your choice tho - I hope u find it easy to make a decision and best of luck whatever you decide to do.
Toni xx
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Denise and Toni,
Thank you so much for your responses! I totally agree with both of you, somehow it just doesn't feel natural to me to have someone here at our home every night. My husband's friends are beeing really pushy about this and I'm so not ready to think about it yet (I'm only 13.5 weeks). I need really mommy support on this because I have no experience to make an informed decision. Oy...I'm gonna tell them all to back off! I really appreciate your replies!
Thank you,
Mazy
I'm with the other two on this. Even when DH got up (on the very few occassions he did) I would still be semi-awake, not wanting to miss anything. I don't think I would like someone else doing it. To me it's all part of the package. The night feeds were our time when no one else was around. I would never talk to any of mine during the night nor turn a light on, just the landing light and yes it's hard to start with but that doesn't last forever.
Mazy it's your and DH's baby don't be pressured into any decision by anyone else. I agree with Toni, maybe you could have a friend, family or neighbour who could come over during the day for a few hours so you could get some rest.
It's definately your choice and no one elses. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Jo
xx
Me 35 DH 37 1st IVF ET 27 June - BFP!!!!
Ellie was born on 11 December 2006, 14 weeks early!
Hi Pebbles (that's such a cute name!),
Thank you sooo much for your caring reply! I'm so glad to have the support of all of you on this board. Your wisdom is so valuable. I'm going to do what I feel is right and then buy some extra baby clothes (and maybe something new for myself) with all the money we're going to save instead of having some one here every night. I can't imagine giving up those precious moments when the baby is first home. It's amazing to me how people want to tell you want to do and demand they are correct. Thank goodness DH is willing to do what ever I think is best.
Thank you again.
MZ
Good for you! How can anyone know how you are going to feel/cope yet? im sure you dont even know yourself what lies ahead! i know i was totally terrified, especially with it being twins. i hadn't even changed a baby, fed a baby and had barely held a baby before - i was always terrified they would hate me and cry!!! I hadn't even had any parenting classes like most new mums cos the twins were 6 weeks early. but as soon as Thomas and Charlotte were born the maternal instinct kicked in and with a little bit of help from the nurses we were soon well away!
ive got one 'friend' who likes to tell me all about her wonderful friend and how she does this and that with her baby and thats the way it should be. i just smile politely and them ignore it!! the best way is always your own way and only you can put yourself in that routine!!!
You go girl and u tell them all that its YOURS and DH baby! no one elses and while u welcome advice you won't be pushed into anything. Im so proud of you as I know how pushy families can be. And you always have the support of all of us on here - something totally invaluable that non-ivf mums don't have!!!
take care and keep in touch!!!
Love and kisses
Toni xx
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Hi Toni,
You are the best! Thank you so much for your response and your encouragement to "do it my way", especially from someone with more than one! I guess this is what it's like to have a pushy mother in law (which I don't but if I did, this friend would be her!). I'm still trying to get through the nausea of the beginning of pregnancy and all of this just threw me off so much. Your wisdom has helped me a lot, I really appreciate it!
Best wishes to you and your happy little ones!
Mazy
I was thinking about you today and wondering how you are getting on convoncing your hubbys family that u know what is best for you and your little bundle? I hope they are not pushing u too hard. Im very lucky that neither of our families have ever interfered with any decisions we made!
Keep in touch!
Toni xx
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Hi Toni,
I emailed a private message to you a while ago and I hope you got it! I really appreciate your concern about me and on this topic. Thankfully my husband will do whatever I/we decide together, he won't let his friends pressure us. I'm just feeling a bit worried about those first few weeks coming home with the baby and not knowing what to do! I've spoken with my friends though and they've done it themselves so I have to be more confident than that! I'm going to take some classes in my 3rd trimester. I really really appreciate your checking on me and I hope we keep in touch! Please let me know how you are doing!
Best wishes,
Mazy
yes i got ur message thanks. It gets a bit mad here at times, and this last 2 weeks we have all come down with a nasty cold cough and temperature at one point or another. Im just getting over it now.
Don't worry about coming home with ur baby. I felt exactly the same way, we didnt even get a chance to have our parenting classes as the twins were 6 weeks early and I was in hospital for 2 weeks before that. And even now I know Im just making it up as i go along. I have a suspicion that all new mothers feel the same way before the birth but then your maternal instinct kicks in. You will be fine, Im sure.
Keep in touch I will want to hear how you are getting on.
Love as always
Toni xx
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
