Negative confirmed

LesleyB · Post by **LesleyB** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 4:59 pm

Went for blood test this morning and is negative as I already knew. Will go back in 6 weeks for review and have already booked as near to Feb 29th (Wedding anniversary) for next EC. Feeling more angry than anything at the moment, wish I'd done things different like not go back to work during 2WW, maybe tears will arrive later. I'll keep watching site for everyone's progress and wish everyone the best of luck. Lesley xx

Di · Post by Di » Thu Oct 09, 2003 5:56 pm

so sorry to hear your news, Lesley. Give yourself time to recover and get over the disappointment. Take care, Di

rachel r · Post by **rachel r** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 6:06 pm

Dear Lesley Im so sorry this wasn't your turn - but it will be, honestly. You mustn't think it was down to anything you did or didn't do, because it really wasn't. Some people take the time off, others work to keep their minds occupied, some give up caffeine, others give up foods that begin with the letter "A". A girl I had my treatment with worked as a hairdresser and spent her 2ww on her feet every single day, and it worked for her. Its good that you're focusing on the next go, as it gives you something to look to. Take it easy for the next few days and get the upset and anger out of your system. Plenty of hugs for eachother too. Take care, and please don't dwell on why it didn't happen for you this time, that's the lottery of the whole thing. Love Rachel x

Nikola · Post by **Nikola** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 8:55 pm

hi lesley I'm really sorry to hear that your tmt didn't work. I found after my tmt failed at first I was devastated, then shocked then angry. You will find you will experience a whole host of emotions - a lot has to do with the hormones in your body. YOu need to just let it all out whether that is shouting, crying whatever you feel like. Like you I beat myself up over what I should have done differently. In truth, it makes no difference, if its your go it your go and if its not life is sh!t! I was convinced I pissed my first go down the loo by going straight to the toilet after ET and then coming home and having a bath! Instead of beating yourself up over this go, why not be constructive and write a list of what you will do differently next time. I did this and it helped. I know my last tmt worked and I don't really think it was down to the things I did differently, I'm sure it was just my turn. What the list did do, is make me feel better and helped me get over my failed tmt. You take care of yourself and if you want to email me to rant and rave, you feel free!!! lots of love to you and your dh nikola.xxx

Wibbs · Post by **Wibbs** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 9:02 pm

Sorry to hear your news...........life is so unfair, please try to keep your head up, as time is a good healer and you learn to cope with different situtations....your turn will come be ++++++tive, I know you will not feel like this just yet, but in time you will. Give DH a big hug you have each other. Love Wibbs xxx

JackieT · Post by **JackieT** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 9:10 pm

lesley i can see the old wise one {nikola} has spoke, and she does make a lot of sense{sometimes} try the list, it does help psyologically. it will also give you some positive thought to concentrate on. i personally got no rest this time as i could'nt sleep at night, and got no time during the day, as i was constantly out christmas shopping..{a lot of walking}. last time i rested all day.. your time will come, just get yourself and DH prepared forit.. don't forget that all those drugs have now got to come out of your system, so you will feel like shit for a while.. please keep in touch as we will all be watching for you and the rest of the girls who will going again. take care love jackie xxx

SJ BROWN · Post by **SJ BROWN** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:39 am

Lesley, so sorry to read your news ( i have sent you an email) I too had my first neg & went through similar emotions, one minute weepy, next angry, next nothing etc.etc. I still get off days but when I read what a lot of ladies on here (especially Di(I think)-9th attempt) go through it makes me feel stronger & more positive. I really believe it will be our turn next, as well as July Ann & Karen & Kat........... After all, Nickola needs some more mad SCBs to keep her company on the other side. Nikola-if you are reading this-we WILL be joining you soon. Please dont blame yourself as its out of your hands. A girl posted a while ago worried cos she had sex straight after ET & also had hot baths & she got a +ve so it just goes to show whatever we do or dont know wont make any difference....... Take some time out with dh & do what you feel right with. Cry if you want to, scream if you want to... Take care & look forward to cycling with you again soon. Sarah xxxx [Edited by SJ BROWN on 10-Oct-03 01:43]

july ann · Post by **july ann** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:05 am

lesley so sorry to hear your tmt did not work. you did everything you could the 2wk is down to mother nature and nothing you did or did not do could change that. you will feel better once the drugs are out of your body.as you know 75% of tmt do not work but if you keep going i'm sure you will get there.Well that is what keep's me going. take care july ann

kathryn · Post by **kathryn** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 1:11 pm

hello lesley, just wanted to add to what your good buddies have already said,and Im really sorry that this time wasnt to be for you. take good care of yourselves and wishing you one day, your baby dreams WILL come true. lots of love kathryn x

LesleyB · Post by **LesleyB** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 12:14 pm

Thanks for all the messages, they really mean alot. I have a nine year old who was conceived naturally who has been brilliant thoughout my treatment. My problems started after I tried for a second child when he was 18mths old. It took a long time to decide to go for IVF and now looking back we should have started a long time ago, but you can't live by regrets. We will try again in Jan after my body gets as back to normal as it can. I'll be keeping an eye on everyone! Lesley xx

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 5:51 pm

Hi Lesley, I was sorry to read your post and I know what you mean about thinking it must have been something you did but you know it wasn't - I keep reminding myself it was down to nature and nothing I could have done any different. I went straight back to work after ET (after a weekend) and I think that was best for me as it meant I was occupied and at least the 2ww went quick and I think I would have been more stressed if I had been at home instead. I too am having a rest for various reasons and will go again after Christmas so we may be buddies then Take care lots of love Kat xx

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